|Lissa Dragomir (littlequeen) wrote in townofbreckic,|
@ 2015-06-15 15:06:00
|Entry tags:||!log, *maxi, dimitri belikov, lissa dragomir, x-player: tally|
Thread: Lissa & Dimitri
WHO Lissa Dragomir & Dimitri Belikov
WHAT Liss filling Dimitri in and trying to be there for him.
WHERE His apartment.
WHEN Late evening, June 7th, After DImitri talks to Tasha
RATING/STATUS Mentions of death and sadness but otherwise low | Complete
When Lissa had heard that Dimitri was back it was right after he’d arrived but before Rose had told her. She’d been in Denver working with CU Denver on how best to get the people who were interested in going to Medical School, while she made progress and a couple were either able to go or in the process she still had work to do and find a way to make sure they could afford it and keep it fair to everyone. It was a lot of work, but Lissa didn’t mind it.
So, when she got her normal alert of someone coming through the hole, she smiled when she saw it was Dimitri but was unable to look more seriously into it at that moment, there were enough people at the BATD that could handle it and she knew Rose would have probably already known or jumped right away to get to him.
When she learned on her way back up the mountain that he was from a time when he’d done everything in his power to push Rose away she felt her spirits drop a little bit, she knew how hard that time had been on both of them, Rose and Dimitri, especially Dimitri. Lissa felt a responsibility to Dimitri, something she never lost, even as he started to get better and move on and he and Rose figured things out. She still felt protective of him.
Talking to him quickly on the network they’d set up for the displaced she resolved to go find him the moment she got back to the lodge.
As the bus she was in got to the lodge, Lissa jumped out after a quick thank you to the driver and dashed out quickly. Strange things were always happening and she didn’t really understand what was behind it, but then again no one had figured out how they’d started to come here in the first place. That was a problem that never seemed to go away.
After asking one of the staff over a text which room Dimitri had been assigned to, she headed there without much thought. It was later than she’d hoped, and she’d known it’d taken her time to respond to him on the network as well, he’d probably been there at least a few hours if not more.
As she got to his door she knocked quickly, and harder than she normally would have. “Dimitri?” She called, her voice soft but with hints of worry.
Dimitri had returned to his apartment after seeing his old friend, Tasha. His visit left him with even more questions than he had before. He wanted to trust her, to believe that one of the few people in the world he considered a close friend couldn’t have done the terrible things Abe Mazur and Lissa had said. Yet, his instincts were telling him something completely different. It was maddening, deepening the despair that already filled his entire being. If only he could save her from her fate, there might be redemption for him after all. But killing Rose. Nearly killing Lissa. Those were actions he couldn’t forget or forgive.
These thought left the dhampir to pace in his apartment, thinking over it all until he heard a knock at the door. For just a moment he wondered if the authorities had discovered him here and had come to take him away. Part of him welcomed this, thinking that he deserved to be locked away where he couldn’t harm anyone else. The moment he heard the familiar voice, though, he sighed in relief and answered the door.
“Lissa,” he said as he opened the door, unaware of the relieved expression on his face that still seemed to view her as his savior. “Come in.” He stepped aside to let her in before closing the door once more. Once inside, he offered her a seat on the couch, but he remained standing, still feeling tense and on edge. “I can’t seem to get a grasp on this day. Everything is beyond my control. Thank you for coming.”
There was a rush of relief as he opened the door. Lissa could hear him moving before he even got close to opening the door, but she wouldn’t have pushed if he didn’t actually want to open the door. She’d understand if he needed time, besides it was pretty late and he might already be trying to rest, sleep as it were. Although she’d be kind of surprised if he managed to get a good nights rest the first night here, especially after everything she’d learned.
Smiling softly at his expression she reached up and put a hand on his shoulder, she would have hugged him but she could understand the need for space too, and she knew better than to push him. All of this was going to take time, possibly more time than it had when he’d been at home dealing with everything. Here things were different.
Once she moved the rest of the way in, she sat down and kicked off her shoes, curling her feet up into the side of the couch. She watched him carefully. “Come on sit down, it might do you some good to try and relax a little bit.” Lissa said knowing from his movement and his aura that he wasn’t exactly calm.
“I know it’s a lot.” Lissa added softly. “Coming here alone is confusing and scary. I know, I was the first one to come through.” She said with a small smile. “Before you worry, Rose wasn’t far behind.” She knew how protective guardians were, especially Rose and Dimitri. Those were things that were just part of life, she’d gotten used to other types of guards here, but she was still very used to being protected.
“I’d ask if you were okay, but I think we both know the answer to that.” She said softly. “What do you want to know?” If the roles had been reversed Lissa knew she’d want to have answers and more information.
Lissa’s suggestion for him to sit down made him pause a moment. Though her hand on his shoulder had done wonders to calm his nerves a bit, he was still afraid to be too close to her. He was afraid to be too close to anyone. He still believed he should be behind bars. After the hesitation, he finally conceded and sat on the far end of the couch. It didn’t do much to relax him, but relaxation wasn’t what he was searching for right now. When she mentioned that she was come here alone, his eyes snapped to hers in worry. She seemed to guess all of his thoughts and promptly eased his mind.
“I want to know about Tasha,” he answered her, his voice uncertain. “I saw her and she seems frightened by what she does.” He was no longer putting it in terms of what she might do, understanding now that she actually does it in the world he came from. His expression softened to one a mixture of worry and pleading. “What exactly does she do to Rose? And you?” He was still trying to find something redeeming for Tasha in this story. He trusted Lissa enough that he knew her testimony would sway him either way.
Watching his every move carefully, Lissa smiled at him approvingly. It was the small things that she really kept an eye out for. Of course she wanted him to be magically okay, but she wasn’t an idiot she knew that wasn’t an option and if it were she’d be worried about trusting it and wouldn’t in fact. She just hated seeing someone she cared about in so much pain, and so uncertain at the same time.
Her expression changed at the mention of Christian’s aunt, her body stiffened slightly and she moved in her seat to try and get more comfortable although all she really did was sit up straighter. She took a moment, listening to the wind outside for a moment before speaking.
“It’s complicated, and sometimes when I think I understand it I don’t.” Lissa admitted. She had a very different perspective on everything given it was the woman that raised Christian, and the woman that had done horrific things to Rose and herself. It was also someone she knew Freddie enjoyed getting to know. The level of complications involving Tasha Ozera were painful and confusing. It was probably really clear all over her face.
“I don’t know exactly when, or how she came up with her plan, but it was probably around the time or before you came back.” Lissa said getting a little bit more business like. She’d learned a few tricks in her time as Queen and her time here running the BATD. She didn’t get cold, she just got a little less obviously emotional. The tell though was in her jade eyes, there was visible pain in them to anyone who really knew her.
“She… she I think she got impatient and wanted change faster than was actually happening. Not that much different from Victor, both people who wanted change for what they viewed as better and took the wrong steps in order to try and achieve it.” Lissa said as her expression got thoughtful. “I never really disagreed with what they wanted, change, a better world for all of our kind, I strongly and vigorously disagree with their methods.” She said as she looked up at him.
“Tasha used our trust, she used our belief that she was only out for the right. Hell, she even pretended to help us try and prove that Rose was innocent in some ways, when she herself was responsible for the death of the Queen and so clearly framing Rose… Of course we didn’t know that at the time, but she did in fact do that. There is no doubt or question.” Lissa added strongly before a sad look crossed her face. “Christian deserves so much better.” She muttered as she paused in her story for a moment, partly in reflection to what the pain was like for Christian and partly to give Dimitri a chance to react.
As Lissa spoke, Dimitri picked up on a lot of things that she wasn’t saying. As a guardian, he was trained to notice such things in people. Her movement to sit up straight, the re-schooling of her expression and even the tone of her voice told him that she was trying her best to be strong in a situation that didn’t make her feel that way at all. Dimitri didn’t know Lissa like Rose did, but even he knew her well enough to see the pain in her eyes. This was taking a big toll on her just as it was him. Guilt seized his heart and part of him wished he hadn’t asked her to talk about this again. However, Lissa was strong, that much he knew. He trusted her and he knew she wanted to help him. There weren’t many other people he could turn to right now for this sort of information.
He patiently listened to every word she said, not speaking and just absorbing it all. He replayed his conversation with Tasha and while most of it overlapped, he saw the discrepancy of when she decided to plan this whole traitorous plot. He was puzzling it over when he heard Christian’s name. It wasn’t the name itself that snapped Dimitri’s attention back to Lissa, but rather the sadness laced in her voice as she said it.
Understanding hit him. While he’s coming to terms with the fact that his old and close friend is a murderer, Christian had to do that for the only family that raised and loved him. There was no doubt that this would be affected the Moroi much harder. “How is he taking it?” Dimitri asked curiously. He may not know Christian too well, but he still cared about the kid and highly respected him for his acts in the Strigoi attack against St. Vladimir’s.
There was something else about Lissa that occurred to Dimitri. Her voice was regal and the words she spoke were chosen carefully. She was always the tactful one, that much he knew, but it seemed she had grown so much since the version he remembered. That little bit of information was enough to lighten his heart, even if only by a little bit. “You know, you truly sound like a royal now. And I mean that in a good way.”
Looking down just for a moment as she thought about how to answer how Christian was handling it. “I think it’s a challenge for him. At home he never really understood it, I don’t think he does here either… But she is his family and he doesn’t want to lose her again.” Lissa said thoughtfully. “Sometimes I think he’s just holding on as tight as possible to the idea that maybe she didn’t mean to hurt him, or make him lose the last true family member he has.
“I know there are more Ozera’s but Tasha was the last of his immediate family and she took a selfish road that put him in a horrible position. I think he struggles with it and doesn’t know exactly what the right answer is.” Lissa said honestly. She wouldn’t have been as honest with someone else who asked her, but in her time Christian and Dimitri knew each other a little bit better given Dimitri was his guardian. She also trusted Dimitri completely to not speak about it to anyone, unless he came to talk to Christian about it which she would actually encourage. Tasha was and still is probably important to both of them in different ways. There might be some comfort in how they both deal with it.
Laughing she nodded. “You might be surprised to know that from where I come from I was elected Queen.” Lissa said shaking her head. “Blame Rose.” She added playfully. Lissa knew that her running had been at first purely about causing a distraction and giving more time to figure out who had actually killed the Queen, but it became so much more to her. There were parts of her that still couldn’t believe that she was the Queen and that much responsibility was on her, not to mention she still went to college. Although here wasn’t that different, she’d come to take the role of heading the BATD and helping to set it up and get it going. It was after all in her blood. “You should also know that Jill, she’s actually my half sister, that’s how I managed to become Queen.” Lissa added knowing that Dimitri knew the rule about needing a family member, even though she eventually got that overturned it wasn’t when she was elected.
Hearing about how Christian was handling everything only make Dimitri more solemn. The Moroi had more reason to be upset by this news, but Dimitri couldn’t help but share in a little of his pain. Maybe once things calmed down, he’d make a point to talk to him. “He sounds as confused as I am. He’s had longer to adjust, though, so I take it there really is no black and white answer here.” He knew this wasn’t an easy subject for Lissa to talk about, but he greatly appreciated it anyway.
It wasn’t until she mentioned being elected queen that Dimitri’s gaze snapped to her, his eyebrows raised. It wasn’t that it was so hard to believe that Lissa could be queen because he had no doubt that she’d be a great one, but he didn’t think she was legally able to. “I’m pretty sure there’s more to being queen than just what one person can do, but somehow it doesn’t surprise me that she’d be behind such a thing.” He still wasn’t smiling, but his expression softened slightly and there was even a slight amusement in his eyes now.
“Jill Mastrano? That must be wonderful for you. You’re no longer alone.” He never really knew how she felt about being the last in her family, but since Dimitri was someone who replied heavily on his, he could only imagine the suffering and pain that he’d feel if he lost them. It was then that the scary thought occurred to him: he did lose them. Since being restored, he could go back to them but now he was stuck in this place. He wondered if it was possible to leave to visit his family at any point. He wasn’t sure he was ready to face them yet, but he knew one day he’d need to. He loved them too much.
Pushing his own troubles away, he refocused on Lissa. “Were you still in our world, I’d have no doubt that you’d be the queen our peoples need.”
Shrugging slightly Lissa nodded. She understood that, she really did. “We were all really surprised, upset and confused. We all really liked and admired Tasha.” Lissa said aware that she said it the past. She didn’t admire Tasha anymore and she didn’t particularly like her either anymore. It wasn’t that she didn’t think that there was nothing good about her, it was just that she’d completely lost Lissa’s trust and the pain she’d caused so many was unforgivable to her. Murdering a Queen, even if the said Queen wasn’t the most popular, Lissa still couldn’t be okay with that, but more than that it was what she did to Christian and Rose that really was completely unforgivable.
“I know, it’s a little shocking, finding out I have a sister.” Lissa said softly. It was hard for her at first, knowing her father had cheated on her mother, learning her brother wasn’t the hero she thought he was and learning her father wasn’t as well was very difficult for Lissa, although she’d mostly moved past that she still sometimes felt a pang of sadness thinking about how maybe she didn’t really know her family as well as she thought she had. “Jill is a really sweet person, I’m lucky to have her.” Lissa meant it too, she’d come to really love and respect her sister.
Watching him careful she could tell he’d gotten a little lost in thought, she choice to let it go, she didn’t think reassuring him would be the right step right now. He needed to learn he was okay on his own and she knew that would take time.
“You’re too kind.” Lissa smiled with a small flattered laugh. “You know, I miss home sometimes, but I like life here a lot too. I get to go to a bigger and better school as well as learn a completely new world, with people from other worlds. I would trade being here for anything. Besides, despite the oddities, it’s pretty safe.” Lissa said. “I think if you give it a chance you might really like it here.”
Dimitri merely nodded when Lissa said she once admired Tasha. It was still too much for him to comprehend. He didn’t just admire her. She was one of his closest friends, someone who was there for him when he lost Ivan. She helped him pick up and move on. Now this. At first he wasn’t sure what to think, but the pieces were starting to fall into place. They spelled out a truth he just didn’t want to face yet. That didn’t mean he’d ignore it, though.
Deciding they didn’t need to dwell on that topic, he was thankful when she started talking about the differences of home and this place. It was nice to hear that she was happy here and getting to study at a big school. Even as her guardian he knew that that was something she always wanted. “You think so?” he asked, slightly surprised by her last comment. “It just...it doesn’t feel right. I’m free here. I’m supposed to be in that cell. I can’t help but think that if I concede to living happily here, then I’m cheating myself.” He sighed, realizing he was only burdening her further with his depressing thoughts. It wasn’t what he wanted to do. “But I guess it’s a moot point. There’s no way back, is there?” His met hers almost pleadingly, hoping to hear that there was, in fact, some way home. It’s not that he wanted to leave her or everyone else he had met. Hell, he saw Mason here, alive and well. That was nothing short of a miracle. But he knew that he, himself, didn’t belong here.
“I don’t want you to think that I actively think you should cut her out.” Lissa added even though she could tell a change of conversation was the best direction, she just wanted to make sure she got the rest of her thought out, mostly so it didn’t come across as Lissa wanted to throw Tasha into a hole here. “She’s trying I think, but I’ll be the first to say that I’m not quick to be okay with it. I’m trying though.” She said with a soft smile. “I think we all are.” Lissa added.
“Dimitri.” Lissa said softly as she reached over and took one of his hands. “You do not deserve to be in a cage.” Her voice was filled with kindness, but it was stern. She wanted to get across that she meant her words. That she believed her words. “You have a lot of things to work on, and I wont pretend that it’ll be easy, but there is so much good in you, that I hope you let it win out.” Lissa said trying to be supportive of it.
“People do vanish sometimes and it appears as though go back home, but we don’t have control over that. I hope you don’t go home.” Lissa added. “I like having you around.” She meant that too. Lissa really enjoyed having Dimitri around for her, not just for Rose, although she strongly prefered it for Rose as well.
Lissa’s sudden prompt for Dimiri not to completely discount Tasha caught him by surprise. He regarded the Moroi in a studious way. She had a lot of cause to be upset with Tasha, but here she was, telling Dimitri to carefully look this from both sides. She certainly was the queen their people deserved. “I won’t do that,” he promised. “You and Christian are able to try with her, then I certainly can, too. But someone who did those things…” he trailed off with a slight shake of his head. He knew she could fill in the words that he couldn’t say. A matter like this wouldn’t be resolved for him in a day, or even a week.
When she took his hand, Dimitri suddenly stiffened at the contact. His muscles tensed slightly and his eyes shot to Lissa’s. He hadn’t had any actual human contact at all since his restoration unless you count immediately resting his head in her lap after the act, or the guardians shoving him into his cell. Her hand was warm and soft, full of energy and life. Dimitri took a small comfort in it. There was nothing romantic about the action, but she was someone who cared about him. It was a powerful thing. He was reminded once again that this girl did the impossible. She was his savior.
Unfortunately, her words weren’t ones that he could agree with. How could she? She only saw the tip of the iceberg of the monster he had become. She had no idea of the horrors he had committed. Only one person actually knew, but that was the very reason he had resigned himself to stay away from her. “I don’t know about that,” he said, his eyebrows coming together in thought. “I was locked away for a reason. It was justice.” True justice would have been his death, but he wasn’t going to bring that up to the girl who had saved him.
The idea that people could go back but not able to control it wasn’t good new to him. He frowned a little until she admitted that she liked having him here. Lissa was always friendly and good with people. Of course she’d rather him here. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze before letting go of it. “I’m glad to be around you, too.”
Nodding as he trailed off with his words, Lissa decided that letting that topic go was probably a safer option, or rather the needed one. There would be endless debates over Tasha and her motives, the why and the how. How she could be okay committing murder. How she could think any of it was a good idea. Lissa could never pinpoint exactly when Tasha had come up with the plan, but she knew it was a plan that would take time and planning. It wasn’t a spur of the moment event.
Lissa didn’t react as she could feel and see Dimitri start to stiffen. She knew that it might be startling but she also knew it was something he needed. She needed to remind him that people cared about him, that people still needed him. It was no secret that guardians usually liked to be useful. Lissa knew he’d be useful and needed, he was both things already, she just was hoping he’d come to realize it.
“You were locked away because it was something that people had never seen before.” Lissa said softly. “The unknown is scary, things that are new and untested, surprising are terrifying for a lot of people. With you coming back, that was something people have a hard time wrapping their heads around. That was why you were locked up. No other reason.” Lissa said with a little force behind her words marking she strongly believed what she was saying.
As he let go, she did as well, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable but she did want to slowly get him used to the fact that he was going. “Good.” Lissa said before flashing a light smile.