Evan was pretty sure he'd never made the kinds of sounds he was making now, ever before in his life. He felt like a completely different person, completely new and reinvented, and it would have made his head hurt if he thought too much on it. Thankfully, he was too caught up in the physical sensation, the act of kissing and pressing himself against Jared, and it was all so incredible that his thoughts were jumbled, incomplete, and off track all together.
Jared's hand in his hair, tugging at his scalp, felt like jagged streaks of lightning surging through him. He felt it way deeper than just the surface, he felt it all the way to his core, to the very center of his being. And he wanted more, cried out in desperation, hungry for more, more, more.
What it was exactly that he wanted, he wasn't sure. He'd never considered this before. He'd been with Zoe Murphy for a short time, but that had been different. He would have done anything, anything at all, to get close to the Murphys. They had filled a void in him that his mother never could, and he'd latched onto it like a babe to his mother's teats. It had been superficial at best, his relationship with Zoe. He didn't even like girls.
Now, though, here with Jared, he was where he wanted to be, where he needed to be. And when Jared pulled back and cleared his throat, Evan felt like the walls were going to come crashing down on him. He'd made a mistake. This was wrong, all wrong.
But Jared was only asking to turn off the light. Evan's brow furrowed at the question. "Why...why would you want to?" Evan asked him, his eyes going soft with concern. Was he ashamed of his body? That didn't make sense to Evan. Jared might not be toned like a football player, but surely he'd noticed Evan didn't care for sports. And where Jared might have a little extra weight, Evan fell short. He had just as much reason to want the light off, but he didn't want it off.
"I want..." he stopped, shook his head. it wasn't his usual stammering, though. It was more that he needed a stronger word to convey what he wanted to say. "I need to see your face."