The moment Jared let go, as his body bucked and pulsed like a livewire in Evan's hands, Evan gasped and moaned. He fought against the urge to let his eyes close, because he wanted to see what was happening, he wanted to watch Jared react to his touch. It was amazingly intoxicating, more so than the alcohol Evan had consumed. Seeing Jared fly apart like that was by far the most exhilarating moment of Evan's life.
Evan would later realise he loved having that kind of control over Jared. It filled something deep inside him, a void he had always known was there, but had stoically ignored for years because he never thought he would be able to fill it. He never thought he'd find someone who would give him the space he needed to discover himself, to discover not only what he liked, but what was craved and what he was capable of.
His relationship with Zoe Murphy had been stopped before they got that far, and when that blew up in his face, Evan assumed he'd lost his one and only chance at true happiness. He had pinned so much hope on Zoe and his relationship with her that he'd felt like a part of hid died when it ended. He thought he'd never want to put himself out there like that again, not that anyone would want to get close to him like that. He was far too needy, too anxious and twitchy. He was a freak, and no one would be able to see past all his outward quirks, and even if they did, they wouldn't want to get near him. he was lonely and anxious and desperate, longing for love and acceptance, but too damaged to think it was possible.
But Jared wasn't just anyone. Jared knew what he was getting into with Evan. Jared knew Evan before his dad left, when Evan was just a typical little kid without a care in the world. Jared had been there when Evan's dad left, even if they hadn't been the best of friends, they had been friends. Everything changed the following summer, when Evan's mom sent him to Colorado to spend a week with his dad and there was a fire in the cockpit, necessitating an emergency landing. Evan had been alone, traveling with an escort because of his age, but alone for all that it really mattered. He'd been terrified. And when he'd been put on a new plane to complete the trip to Denver, he'd cried the entire way, and most of the week he was at his dad's. His dad worked all day, and his step mom made it clear from the moment they met that she didn't have any intent to love him or accept him. He was her husband's other son, and she wanted no part of it. He could still hear her voice, cold and hard and unwavering, telling him she was not going to act like a mother with him, so he better get his shit together and stop acting like a fucking baby.
His father had come home and sided with his wife, leaving eight year old Evan to deal with his growing anxiety on his own. And when time came to go home, he'd refused to get in the car to go to the airport. In the end, his dad had to call his mom to fly out to Colorado and take him home. He started school the day after he got home, without having time to recover from the trauma and as a result he never really recovered. He grew more and more anxious, more and more isolated as he developed an oppressive fear of something bad about to happen.
Jared had been one of the only people who could get past the walls Evan built around himself. Their friendship changed, especially as they moved out of elementary school and had fewer classes together, fewer chances to interact. But Jared had always been quick with the wit and punchy one liners that got a reaction out of Evan. By the time they reached senior year, the year Connor Murphy took his own life and gave Evan the stage to create a fantasy of friendship that made him feel whole for a time, Jared was the closest thing to a real friend Evan had.