InsaneJournal

This entire situation was beyond crazy, but Isabela liked to think that she was adjusting to it. The technology was still a bit beyond her, but she was learning her way around the ship. Which is probably how she came to understand that the thing could be claustrophobic. Sure the ship was huge, far larger than anything Isabela had ever seen, but unless she was around the parts of the ship with windows, Isabela was having a difficult time handling it.

She’d found her quarters, but she didn’t spend much time there. It was too small for her liking, and she tended to feel a little panicky, so she tended to spend time in other parts of the ship. But this time, Isabela hadn’t been able to stave off some of the panic and anxiety.

Isabela was walking in one of the hallways trying to get to the observation deck, but she started to hyperventilate and feel a bit faint. She even felt as though some numbness was going through her body, starting in her legs. Isabela leaned heavily against the wall, intending to just take a moment or two to gather herself and move on. But the panic was a little too much for her to get a grip on it.

Lara had been in the gym working out. There was a climbing rig as well as weights, and she'd worked until she'd felt the good kind of exhaustion. While she wasn't claustrophobic, she had also been feeling antsy. Working out helped with that, and also smoothed some of her edges. She didn't want to nearly punch a poor ensign. Again.

This part of the ship was fairly empty this time of morning, but she saw someone leaning against a bulkhead. She could see the telltale signs of a panic, and moved around so she'd approach Isabela from a visible angle. She recognized her from the embarrassing conversation they'd had. She hadn't had the chance to show her some things yet, but she might have been procrastinating on that.

"Hello. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes and think of something that makes you content." It worked for Lara. Sometimes.

It had been a while since Isabela had felt a panic like this set in. While she’d been uneasy when she’d accompanied Hawke on that Deep Roads expedition that culminated in fighting that hugeass ancient rock monster, she’d managed to not go into a full on panic. Probably because there’d been darkspawn to fight, and one of her favorite things to do was looting bodies.

She saw Lara when she approached her, but wasn’t quite able to audibly respond. She was too busy trying to catch her breath, which wasn’t really working. So when Lara made her suggestion, she nodded a little before she closed her eyes and tried to think of the sea, of that distant horizon that came with it. It was a wide open space, one that she loved above all else. Isabela leaned a bit more heavily against the wall.

Lara put a hand on Isabela’s shoulder, squeezing lightly. She let her work through it, not asking any questions or otherwise putting the woman on the spot. God knows Lara would hate to have attention brought to her own trauma. It needed to remain buried, where it belonged.

Isabela’s breathing managed to regulate, but her chest was aching. After a minute or two, she managed to take a deeper breath and she opened her eyes, looking at Lara. “Thanks,” she said as she tried to get ahold of herself. “You don’t need to stick around if you don’t want to.” Isabela had her methods to cope. Of course, those tended to be any combination of drinking, having sex and fighting, but they did tend to work.

“Let me at least see you someplace,” Lara offered. “You look like you could use a drink, at any rate. Even if no one is manning the bar I could mix you something.”

She felt the strangest compunction to keep an eye on Isabela. And maybe get her talking. It might help with what had happened, even if she didn’t talk about exactly that.

“I could use several drinks, really.” Isabela responded as she took another slow, deep breath. Drinking would probably be the easiest way to calm down after that attack. “How do people stand being cooped up in this thing?” Just because the ship was huge didn’t mean that it didn’t feel like a sardine can. Which is precisely what it felt like to Isabela.

“I don’t really know. I’m used to being cooped up in a library. Or underground in a tomb.” Even if she really hated tombs sometimes. Lara moved closer and rubbed Isabela’s back. “But in both cases you can just go outside. Here… you don’t really have that option, unless you go to the holodeck.”

“I don’t like being cooped up.” It hadn’t always been that way, Isabela hadn’t suffered claustrophobia as a child. The event that brought it about happened when she’d been older. And it wasn’t one she forgot about despite wishing she could forget about it. “Varric told me about the holodeck. Still not completely certain how it does what it does, but I know I could go for being on the deck of my ship staring at the distant horizon of the ocean.”

“Want to skip that drink? Or maybe we could snatch a bottle on the way to the holodeck. I think I can figure it out well enough to give you a ship.”

“Maker, that’s music to my ears. Alcohol and a ship would do wonders right now.” The only thing that would make it better would be sex, but Isabela was still feeling a bit shaky and not herself yet. Best to not jump anyone’s bones just yet.

Lara’s bones weren’t exactly the easiest to jump, so that would be an uphill climb for Isabela. She nodded, smiling reassuringly. “Come on then. We’ll keep this little episode between us. No need ruining your reputation!”

She offered Bela her hand to help her straighten.

Luckily for Lara, Isabela wasn’t in the mindset of shamelessly flirting with anyone. She just needed to forget where she was, even if she was glad she wasn’t in Kirkwall and thus didn’t have to deal with the consequences of what she’d done. She could pretend that everything was fine and no one hated her. Well okay, she knew everyone hated her but she could forget that part for a while.

Okay Varric didn’t hate her, but she still probably needed to actually talk with him about all of what went down with the Qunari. Though she would put that off as long as possible. Isabela didn’t do serious talks because they made it seem like she cared. Which she absolutely did not.

“Thank you, I certainly don’t need it getting out.” Isabela took Lara’s hand and straightened herself. Her hand was rough and calloused, both from years of using weapons and from working on a ship.

Isabela cared. Lara could peg her for that, eventually, though she obviously didn’t know her well enough. “It’s our little secret.”

Lara winked, then led the way to the lounge. Once there, she sweet talked the person behind the bar for one of the bottles, then waggled it at Isabela. “Come on. It’s on another deck, but we’re still sober enough for the turbolift.

Isabela wasn’t the only one that needed a drink.

She followed along, trying to pull herself together and not let anyone think something was wrong. She gave Lara a little smile as she waggled the bottle at her. “Maker, I’m never going to get used to how people get from deck to deck.”

Seriously, stairs were perfectly fine methods of transportation. Except, apparently, on this ship.

“We could use a jefferies tube,” Lara realized that wouldn’t mean anything to Isabela, so she clarified. “There are ways to access each deck through… hidden passages, basically, with ladders. They’re for maintenance, mostly.”

The door swished open as Lara thought that it was probably off limits to use the tubes if they weren’t crewmembers. That probably wouldn’t stop either of them, if she was honest.

She stopped at the holodeck, and thought a moment before programming it. This involved a bunch of tapping on the buttons.

“I’m not sure what kind of ships you’re used to, but I assume it’s some kind of wooden sailing vessel and not powered by steam or clad in steel. Or made out of steel.”

The door opened, revealing a blue sky, and the scent, sound and feel of the sea. The deck was wooden. Men shouted orders, wood creaked, and the fabric of the sails flapped in the wind. “HMS Endeavor. 32 yards long, three masts and over 3300 square yards of sail. Famous for a voyage of exploration that traveled over 50,000 kilometers, across two oceans and numerous seas. She sailed about 230 years before I was born or roughly 500 years before this Enterprise. I could have picked a sailing vessel named Enterprise, I suppose...”

“Hidden passages you say?” That got Isabela’s attention, and something she’d probably look into at a later date when she was feeling better. This ship could have a lot of hidden gems on it that Isabela would need to flush out. Perhaps there were even literal gems that she could pluck out as well.

Isabela nodded a bit. “Yes, wooden ship with sails is what I’m used to.” She watched as Lara punched the various buttons, and while it was beyond her current understanding of how things worked, it was oddly fascinating to watch someone punching the buttons. Though her train of thought was completely derailed when the door opened and the familiar scent of the sea and a blue sky greeted them.

“Andraste’s tits this thing is magic,” she commented, stepping onto the deck. She looked around, watching the men running around. She gazed up at one of the masts. “This is home.” Isabela declared as she closed her eyes and took a slow, deep breath. Some of the anxiety she’d been feeling started to dissipate a bit.

“It kind of is,” Lara said, smiling. She hesitated before following Isabela on board. “I was on a wooden ship once, when I was little. A very old one still kept up and in good condition for hundreds of years. Last time I was at sea was on my guardian’s ship. A big hulking metal thing called Endurance. We… wrecked.”

The motion of the ship was familiar, and Lara took some deep breaths. They weren’t going to wreck on the holodeck, but she hadn’t expected that to be a trigger either.

“Do you think you can sketch your ship? Or your dream ship? I might be able to ask someone to recreate it. Or give it a shot, myself.” She gripped the edge of the boat, then turned and leaned against it. It was easier to watch Isabela take in the ship, and that helped Lara herself relax.

Being on the deck of this ship did help Isabela forget that they were actually on a giant sardine can of a space ship. She stood there, eyes closed, as she breathed deeply and let the swaying of the ship calm her. Though hearing about Lara’s shipwreck, she opened her eyes and looked over at her.

“I understand. I’ve been in a couple shipwrecks myself. The last one, I lost pretty much my entire crew, most of whom I’d known for over ten years.” Isabela really did lament the loss of her crew. It was her fault they were dead, and she’d have to live with that for the rest of her life.

Isabela moved over to the railing, looking down at the water. “I’m a pretty shit artist. About all I can draw are stick people. It’s probably a miracle that I’m literate. Not everyone is in my world.” At least her mother had given her that much. “I can, however, describe it in detail. She was the best thing I had, and now she’s gone.”

“I’m sorry. Only four of us made it out of the Endurance. The rest of the crew drowned, or were murdered, and Roth was killed protecting me. He was the one who raised me after my parents disappeared. It came down to me to protect the rest of us after he was gone.” Lara could understand that guilt. It was her idea to keep going after funding had dried up. Sam might have been the one to find that new funding, but if Lara hadn’t been so insistent…Maybe Roth would be alive. Maybe Alex would be alive. Maybe her and Sam and the others wouldn’t have been so traumatized.

Maybe she wouldn’t feel like a monster.

“Then I’ll sketch it for you.” Lara held up her fingers and wriggled them. “I’m an explorer, and part of that is sketching what I find to study later. We have ways to record images in a little box, but sometimes you have to do it the old fashioned way.”

“I’m sorry. It’s never easy surviving a wreck, especially if you land in a place with hostile inhabitants.” Or, you know, the hostile people were the ones that helped cause the wreck and they just followed you from there. Isabela drew in a breath, leaning her elbows on the railing, looking out at the horizon before she looked back at Lara.

“Thank you, I would appreciate that. It’s been a couple years since I’ve seen my ship. She was good to me, much better than she was to my husband.” Isabela shook her head. She turned to face Lara, leaning on one elbow. “You must have some stories from your adventures.”

“I’ll tell you about it in detail sometime. When I’m a little less sober.” At that, Lara opened the bottle and took a long swig. “I have some good ones. Trips to distant lands with my friend, hikes through ancient ruins. My first discovery when I was eight. The wreck though, that was supposed to be my grandest adventure. It turned out to be a nightmare. But even then I discovered some wondrous things.”

She offered the bottle to Isabela. “You took over from him?”

“That seems to go for much of life. Things can be both complete shit and still have a bright spot or two amongst them.” For Isabela, the bright spots tended to be treasure and whatever other loot she could get her hands on.

Taking the bottle, Isabela took a long swig from it, savoring the taste of the alcohol for a few moments. “Yes. He died and I got the ship. Best thing to ever happen to me, really.” There wasn’t a ton in her life that Isabela could say was good, she tended to just drift from place to place and not put roots down anywhere except on her ship.

“He sounds like a right arse.” Lara wasn’t really probing for information, but she could guess a few things from what Isabela was saying. “So then you sailed around, pirating things? Pirates have a romantic mythology in my world, but it wasn’t really as romantic as stories make them out to be. They tended to be a lot more tolerant and welcoming of differences, though.”

She wasn’t judgy. Not like she might have been not too long ago. Life wasn’t predictable. And messy.

“He didn’t beat me, that’s the best thing I can say about him.” Which...wasn’t saying a whole lot. Isabela chuckled softly. “Pirating things, sometimes doing jobs for others in hauling cargo and such.” No matter what anyone tried to say, people weren’t cargo. Even though setting those people free had landed Isabela in the hot water she’d been in that ultimately had landed her in Kirkwall, she would do it again.

And again, she didn’t broadcast the fact she cared about people.

“I’ve sailed to many parts of my world. Even gained the title Queen of the Eastern Seas. I’m also a duellist, and I pride myself on my fighting style.” She held the bottle out to Lara.

Taking the bottle, Lara let that hang in the air for a few moments. It definitely didn’t sound glamorous. If she didn’t already know her history, she might have had her dreams dashed. One swig, then two, and she spoke. “A Queen are you? I’m technically a countess, but I don’t like it. I’m not much of a duelist though, my fighting style can be best described as brutally pummeling things until they stop moving.”

“A queen in name only. I don’t hold sway over anyone other than my crew. And, well, most of them are dead.” Isabela sighed softly, then turned her attention back to Lara. “A countess? So you’re a noble then.” It figured. Lara was way out of her league, but it wouldn’t stop Isabela from at least trying to bed her. But the whole being a virgin thing would greatly complicate that. Lara probably wouldn’t want her first time being with a slattern like Isabela, or so Isabela thought.

“Sometimes pummeling things until they stop moving is what it takes. And as long as it works, it works.”

“Accident of birth, really. Most of my inheritance was locked up at my request. I wanted to…” she waved her hand. “I wanted to find my own way. I even worked my way through University, slinging drinks.”

She took another sip and offered it back to Isabela. “Being raised by Roth probably helped. He wanted me self-sufficient. We spent a lot of time out doors camping and hunting.”

She didn’t know why she was defending herself. But she’d never much liked the noble part of her bloodline. She’d never thought it mattered, or that there was anything wrong with Isabela’s life style. It wasn’t like she’d ever slut shamed Sam.

“All of us are accidents of birth. We don’t choose what we are born into. It’s what we do with it that matters. The fact that you want to find your own way and work your way through life and not use your family’s money proves you’ve got conviction. That’s more than pretty much every noble I’ve ever crossed paths with. Most of them are selfish arseholes that would sooner step on the poor than help them.” Isabela rolled her eyes.

She took the bottle, taking a couple swigs from it. “At least you were raised by someone who loved you. Not everyone has that luxury.” And Isabela’s mother had set her on this path, teaching her that love didn’t matter. Only money mattered. Or in Isabela’s case, treasure.

Lara snorted. “Rather direct my money to charity, when I get a chance. Or help uncover mysteries of the ancient world.”

She didn’t know if Isabela cared about that sort of thing beyond ‘shiny treasure’ but it was important to Lara. Discover the past to prepare for the future. It was the entire point of her life. “Tough love, but… I’m sorry you didn’t have that.”

She folded her arms over herself. “After the island, I’ve only got one person left.” Joslin and Jonah were close, but they weren’t family like Sam. “You’ve got Varric here, at least. That’s something.”

Isabela was indifferent on digging up history. Sure she’d be more invested if that involved buried treasure. But as far as history went? She could take it or leave it. She knew her country’s history with the Qunari, but it was difficult not to with the Qunari basically taking over the northern part of the country.

“It is what it is,” Isabela said, shrugging one shoulder. Of course, it bothered her way more than she tended to let on. It didn’t matter if it was going on fifteen years later, Isabela would forever hate her mother for what she did. And it was her mother that initially set her on the path towards being what she was today. She didn’t put much stock in love or the like because that had never been there. Her mother had been all about the money.

“It is, though we’re from two different times in our world. I don’t understand how he doesn’t hate me, but that’s something he and I have to talk about.” Eventually. Or never if Isabela had her way. “So, tell me about your world. What’s it like?” And a subject change because Isabela didn’t need to get into any of her issues right now. The panic attack was bad enough for Lara to see.

"You seem pleasant enough company. And obviously whatever happened wasn't enough to make him hate you."

Lara offered Isabela a smile. "I've discovered found family is far better than blood family." She was still angry at her father, at everything that had happened with him, and the stain on the family name that she had to live with.

He'd been right about some mysteries of the world though, and she still needed to reconcile that with her anger at him.

She caught that subject change, but went with it. Isabela was on edge, and the whole point of this was to dull that edge a little. "It's a few centuries behind this one. We have space stations, and visited the moon. We've sent robots... kind of like golems, I suppose, to nearby planets and to explore other parts of our solar system. We have flying vehicles, including airships, but the airships aren't really common or all that useful. there was a time 80 years before I was born where they were common and looked like they'd be the future, but it didn't work out. Our seaships are all mostly made of metal, powered by engines that burn oil or special rocks. Some are gigantic. As large as... some castles, I suppose."

Lara wasn't about to try to explain nuclear energy just now. "We have cities that cover thousands of square kilometers, with buildings 1000 meters or more in height, all made of glass and steel. People drive horseless carriages. But we're also polluting the environment, poisoning the water and the air. The technology warms the atmosphere, which makes storms stronger and more deadly, and the sea levels rise. Wars are much worse now, with weapons that can kill millions in an instant.”

Her eyes hardened. “A woman with a gun can kill a hundred people in a minute. We do everything we can to avoid that. But there’s a lot of art and music, and cultures around the world share ideas. Borders are ceasing to exist, though there are still tensions between nations. My best friend is half Japanese, who were my peoples’ enemies 70 years ago, and we’re strong allies with a nation formed from colonies that used to be ours two hundred years ago. Everything is global now, and there’s a struggle between accepting that change while retaining individual identity."

It should have been. That was Isabela’s silent reply. Because really, everyone should hate her for what happened. Kirkwall had gone up in flames, literally, and people died all because Isabela had decided to be selfish and save her own ass by running away with the Tome of Koslun instead of actually giving it back to Qunari.

The fact that she came back, in Isabela’s mind, didn’t negate any of that.

Though she listened as Lara talked about her world, and she tried to envision it, though a lot of what Lara said was virtually meaningless, but she rolled with it. “You are able to travel among the stars?” Isabela asked, eyeing Lara. “Well, I should not be surprised considering the giant ship we’re on currently, but still. You have the ability to travel beyond your world. That’s completely mindblowing.”

Then the mention of war and something called a gun and Isabela turned to leaned her back against the railing. “War must be a universal thing across all worlds. Mine almost seems to be a never-ending progression of war and strife.” Of course, Tevinter had started it ages before. Both with the magisters tainting the Black City and with the whole Imperium thing. Now it seemed to be an ebb and flow of Blights and Qunari raids and other general strife between countries.

Lara had tried to simplify things as best she could, but without a visual aid it wasn’t perfect. “No, we can’t. Not… really. We can go into space, but not very far. Imagine this planet is a city. We can go to the forests around the city, but not for very long. We can even visit a small town a mile away. But we’ve never sent a person to the next city over, but we sent automated devices that sent us back images and information. And we can’t send one to another star. The nearest country, so to speak. It’s too far away, it would take thousands of years for a one way trip. This ship is as far beyond my time as mine is ahead of yours.”

She hesitated then put her hand on Isabela’s back. “That’s my world too. The century before mine was near constant warfare and the current one isn’t looking much better.”

Lara rested her hand on the railing. There was a scar there, and more on her bare arms. She’d been too tired to bother hiding them, and she hadn’t asked if the Enterprise could get rid of them. She wasn’t sure she wanted to. They were a part of who she was now.

“Roth taught me to shoot. A gun uses a kind of powder to propel a small projectile. In my time they’re accurate, fire so quickly it makes Bianca seem slow. I’ve been shot a few times. Shot a lot of people on that island to survive.”

She pushed the sleeve of her shoulder up to show Isabela the healed over bullet wound.

“That’s kind of crazy. Travel between worlds like that was not a thing. Well, except for the thing we call the Fade, but that’s pretty much a place only mages can go into.” It made Isabela a little uneasy to think about. She didn’t mind mages, had no problem with them, but she tended to be unsettled about the whole concept of the Fade. She would fight whatever demons and abominations happened, but she tended to like not being in places where the Veil was thin.

Isabela smiled a bit at the touch from Lara. She noticed the scars, but she didn’t bring them up. After all, she was used to seeing people with scars. Isabela had her own share of them, they just weren’t all that numerous as compared to some.

As Lara showed her the old wound, Isabela leaned closer to get a better look at it. “It’s so little, but I imagine it’s painful. Doesn’t look like it makes a hole that much larger than some piercings.” Which was something she knew quite a bit about considering how many piercings she had. “Though it’s hard to imagine something making Bianca look slow. Bianca is quite the marvel, and I always feel better with her in action.”

"The fade sounds like the sort of mystery my father would have searched for. Or what I found after we wrecked on that island. Supernatural and magic are not a thing on my world. Or not supposed to be, anyway."

Lara rubbed her shoulder. "It feels like burning, and hits you with enough force to make you stop and fall over. This one went all the way through. A little lower and in my chest and it would have hit my heart."

Maybe a demonstration, though Lara was loathe to change the program to a shooting range just yet. "Honestly it didn't hurt as bad as falling on bar of metal."

“Somehow I don’t think he would’ve liked to pursue that. The last humans that physically entered the Fade turned the Golden City black and brought about the first darkspawn and caused Blights to happen. Also demons live in the Fade. It gets messy. Especially when the demons possess mages.” Isabela shuddered. “Bloody abominations. Though at least you can hear those coming a mile away.”

Isabela frowned a bit, thinking about that a bit more. “I’m glad that you survived. Though these...guns, as you call them. Maybe they aren’t so different from something in my world. The Qunari have this...I don’t know what to call it. I’ve never seen it up close and they’re very protective of the knowledge about it. But their ships spit fire and thunder. I had one of their dreadnaughts on my ass once. It’s not fun being on the receiving end of a fuck up the ass like that.”

"He might have anyway. A Croft family conceit, the pursuit of knowledge at any cost. It got him killed, even if he was the one that ... " Lara shook her head, remembering the sound of that gunshot.

"That sounds like them. Canons and gun powder. I'd give you a history of the advancements in the technology but it's not really relevant. It was discovered far to the East and used mostly to make fireworks. Pretty explosions of light and sparks for celebrations. Naturally, the West immediately put the concept into weapons." Though black powder had been weaponized even in the east, it hadn't been that big a thing until the Europeans.

Lara wrinkled her nose. "I'm not sure I'd enjoy that much, myself." Either getting shot at by canons, or a fuck up the ass. She'd experienced the first one and that was bad enough.

“I’m sorry.” Having watched Hawke go through losing her mother the way she had, Isabela knew that the loss of a parent could be difficult to handle. It wasn’t in Isabela’s case, but she was a special case.

“Huh, interesting. There have been people who have tried to steal the Qunari thunder or even bargain for it. The dwarves especially seem interested in it. Probably for mining purposes as they are heavily into mining.” The explosion would probably help open tunnels in the Deep Roads. Or collapse them. Which she definitely wasn’t going to think about because claustrophobia.

Isabela had to laugh a bit. “Being fucked up the ass isn’t always terrible, but I’m not a fan of it. There’s far better ways to feel pleasure than through having something hard shoved up your backside.”

"Mining is a common use for the powder too. There's a very long and not-so-good history about that." Lara still had her hand on Isabela's back, which was a bit unusual for her but she'd also been around Sam for years. Her friend had rubbed off on her. Just not in a way some small part of her had wanted.

She choked on air. It was bad enough there was no safe place to look at Isabela besides her face. Where were her pants? Why did those boots go on for kilometer and that cleavage go on forever?

She sounded strained. "I can't say I'm interested in that either."

“I could never be a miner. I’d always fear the cave would collapse on top of me.” That was one reason why one would never get Isabela in the Deep Roads if she could help it. All that rock over one’s head was certainly not healthy!

She leaned into Lara’s hand on her back and looked at her as she choked. Definitely a virgin there. She had to grin at the strain in Lara’s voice.

“Are you alright? I don’t want you to choke and die on me. That would ruin the fun of seeing how red I could make you turn.” Because if Lara was choking on air, Isabela could definitely make her turn red with sex talk.

“That’s always a danger, especially with lax safety laws.”

Lara cleared her throat, a slight flush crossing her cheeks and rising at her ears. “Is that a game you like to play? Make your new friends blush?”

“It’s a game I like to play with everyone, friend or otherwise.” Isabela grinned. She shifted a bit, sticking her chest out a bit to test the waters as it were. “Besides, you’re very cute when you blush.”

Lara couldn’t help it, her eyes dipping very briefly before returning to Isabela’s eyes. It didn’t help that Bela had a couple of inches on her. Her tone was dry, but she might have smiled. A little. “I feel so special.”

Unlike certain people Isabela knew who had amazingly muscular arms, Lara did have a sense of humor.

Isabela saw where Lara’s gaze went, albeit briefly, but it was something! And she would most definitely work with that. And she could also work with Lara having a sense of humor. “That’s the spirit! And you should feel special, sweet thing.” And there was the first nickname. Isabela needed to find the right one to call Lara.

The nickname went over Lara’s head. It just sounded like something Isabela would use for anyone, even if it sounded particularly nice in her voice and accent. Lara felt suddenly confused.

“I’m not your first sweet thing.” Lara stepped away from the railing, pacing around Isabela. “I’ve seen how this works.”

“It’s true, I’ve been with more people than I can really count. And yet you don’t seem to mind. If you did, you wouldn’t want to be around me.” Isabela said, watching Lara pace around her. “Though I find it’s far better if you don’t think about it. Otherwise things get confusing and sometimes ugly. No one needs anymore confusion or ugliness in their lives.”

"Its not my place to tell you what to do with your body," Lara pointed out stubbornly. "Though I'd recommend looking into modern contraception and protection against disease. They have... potions that can keep you from getting pregnant for years."

She wasn't going to give Isabela the safe sex talk. Best to let the poor Doctor Mccoy do that one. She'd love to watch that, actually.

Lara stopped pacing, wondering at a strange sensation in her chest. She dismissed it. "Every lover is special, in the time you have them?"

“Perhaps I’ll look into those.” Though that would be for another time when she felt up to learning more things about this time period and safe sex practices.

“Of course! I may not do strings, but I still have some sort of investment in the person. Usually lust, but I don’t just sleep with anyone either. I have standards. While I have slept with prostitutes, I far prefer having an actual connection of some sort to whomever I’ll sleep with. Including when I sleep with more than one at once.” It had been a while since Isabela had slept with more than one person at a time. And oh, she had rather enjoyed the Hero of Ferelden.

Lara once again thought Sam and Isabela would get along like crazy. She coughed again, dropping her hands to her side and then clasping them behind her back. She supposed if Isabela was distracted, this was worth the embarrassment. “You’re rather free-spirited, aren’t you.”

There were a lot of people that Isabela could get along with very well. She had to smile, noting Lara’s cough. “You have only seen the beginning of just how free spirited I can be.” She winked at Lara. “I enjoy doing whatever I please in life. Sex is one of the things I very much enjoy. Besides, life is too short to deny yourself things you both like and want. I prefer to have fun in my life.”

“How do I get myself into these things?” Lara asked. It was a rhetorical question, and she nodded at Isabela. “You have a better outlook on life than a lot of people. I have a different idea of fun. But Sam used to drag me out dancing and partying all the time. She thought I spent too much time in the library.”

She eyed Isabela, realizing she may have armed the woman with ammunition.

“You get yourself into these things by knowing the best people.” Isabela responded. She well knew it was rhetorical question, but she still felt like offering an answer. “There is a time and a place for being in a library, but I’m definitely more the type to party. Not much of a dancer, though.” Even though Isabela could dance she didn’t broadcast that skill. Though she did tuck that information about Lara away for later use.

With hips like that? Lara almost asked, before chiding herself for such a thing. She folded her arms, moving back to the railing as the ship hit a patch of rough seas. She lost her balance and flailed into Isabela.

Isabela didn’t stumble much, quickly shifting her feet and center of gravity so she wasn’t thrown to the deck. She’d had a lot of experience in keeping her feet during such things. And she caught Lara, arms going around her partially out of reflex and partially out of ensuring Lara didn’t bounce off her and fall to the deck.

“Well, hello there,” she greeted with a charming smile as she gazed at Lara.

"I usually have better balance than this," Lara murmured, looking up at Isabela. Alarm bells were ringing in her head. "Thanks. For catching me."

The holodeck might have safeties but they wouldn't prevent splinters or a dislocated shoulder.

“You’re welcome, happy to catch you. Falling is not fun when the ship is hitting rough seas, let me tell you.” It had taken Isabela a while to get used to that after her mother had first given her away. She’d faceplanted on the deck several times before she began to learn how to keep her balance.

“You’d think I’d remember that.” Lara was still trapped in Isabela’s arms, a fact which shouldn’t be all that alarming but was actually very alarming. She wasn’t all that comfortable with people hitting on her, though she was letting Isabela do more than she would some other people.

Maybe after feeling like a murderous monster, she liked that it made her feel human.

“It can take a while to regain your sea legs, don’t get yourself too upset about it.” Isabela thought that if she ever got another ship, it would take her a little bit to get used to the sea again after being on dry land for so long. “Let yourself be fluid, not rigid, and it’ll be easier. Move with the ship, not against it.” Isabela said, moving her hands to Lara’s shoulders and helping her stand back up. She kept the contact until she was sure Lara wasn’t going to faceplant again.

Though she may have positioned herself so that her cleavage would catch Lara if that were to happen.

She was glad no one that knew her was on board. She wouldn’t hear the end of it. Lara kept her eyes very pointedly on Isabela, then leaned against the railing so she wouldn’t have another slip like that. She felt tense, and her skin warm. It was a different kind of tension than she’d been feeling lately - Isabela wasn’t the only one feeling cooped up. It was finally started to get to Lara, this feeling of being trapped. IT still didn’t explain what was going on in her chest. “Thanks. I never minded the sea but I’m better at climbing a mountain.”

This was definitely not where Isabela thought she’d end up after how her day had started. But she was feeling better. “You’re welcome. I never quite got the hang of climbing. Though come here, you should see something.” She beckoned for Lara to follow her to the bow of the ship where they had a completely unobstructed view of the sea and the distant horizon. Isabela drew in a slow, deep breath and let it out in a pleased sigh.

“Now that is what I live for. That distant horizon.” It was a view that helped further calm her down.

Following Isabela, Lara admired her free spirit and the obvious ease with which she walked the deck. This was home to her, as much as some places might be home to Lara. She could respect that.

“Endless wonder, and who knows what you’ll find on the other side of that horizon,” Lara replied.

“Precisely. Nothing but freedom and the lure of adventure and reward.” Isabela leaned her elbows on the railing, sticking her ass out, though she wasn’t actually trying to make her ass a focal point, it was just the stance she took. “What do you see when you look at the horizon?”

Lara turned her gaze back to the ocean. “Adventure. Discovery. Darkness. All of the above, intertwined.” She couldn’t extract the darkness from the adventure, not after the island. But it hadn’t killed her thirst for knowledge and adventure. It had just made her more open minded. And paranoid.

Dolphins danced in front of the bow, and in the distance a large whale breached the surface and Lara smiled.

Isabela looked over at Lara. There was darkness in all corners of her world, but Isabela tried to look past it some of the time. Seeing the smile on Lara’s face brought one to Isabela’s face. “A lovely smile,” she complimented before she looked back out at the water, seeing the dolphins and the whale.

Lara ducked her head, eyes falling to the ocean as a wind picked up and blew her ponytail around. She sounded subdued, almost shy. “Thank you. I think. Yours is lovely too.”

“Thank you.” Isabela smiled, eyeing Lara again. She could certainly work with this. “So, Lara. What’s your favorite thing to do? Or hit me with a top five if you can’t choose just one.” Why yes she was trying to get to know Lara better.

“It’ll have to be a top five, otherwise I’ll just sound really boring,” Lara replied, her smile starting to widen. It was too dangerous to actually sit on the railing, but she did keep leaning on it. “I’ll put research as one. I love the smell of old books, or the feel of an artifact in my hand or digging in the dirt to find a piece of ancient pottery. Climbing and hiking, being in the wilderness far from civilization. Firing a bow. That’s three isn’t it?”

Deciding that was three, Lara continued. “I loved clubs. Or used to. Sam would take me to them. Imagine hundreds of people in a room, all dancing and sweaty and rubbing up against one another while music played all around them. I never thought I’d be into it, but she always managed to convince me. Now though… I don’t think I could handle the noise, or that many people around me.”

That was four.

Well, Isabela hadn’t quite expected to get Lara talking quite that much, but she was happy to hear it. “So in other words, you like getting your hands dirty?” It was a loaded question, of course, because it was Isabela. She could turn any conversation into one about sex. “Though the sound of all those people getting sweaty and rubbing up against each other sounds very appealing to me.”

“I do love getting my hands dirty,” Lara admitted, just kind of going with it. “And I knew you’d like that part. I suppose it’s a bit like sex, only less messy. Honestly, the way some people liked to dance with each other it was probably close enough.”

She looked like that part wasn’t that appealing to her. “I preferred to dance alone, or with Sam. Usually I danced with her a bit then got a drink at a bar to watch people. Sometimes I ended up going home alone because she found someone to shag in the bathroom or something.”

“Too bad there’s nothing like that in my world. I’d definitely want to check it out.” Which of course she would. Though if they happened to dock anywhere that had a club, Isabela would be all over that in a heartbeat. “Going home alone isn’t so fun, though hooking up with people isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Though Sam does sound like someone that I’d get along with quite well.”

“I can have the holodeck make a club.” Lara wasn’t sure how well she’d do in the club, but she’d give it a try. “Though that’s probably not the same.”

Lara folded her arms, her smile a mixture of fondness over her friend, and some unidentifiable emotion. “She’s a free spirit too.”

“Perhaps another time. I need the horizon right now.” Even if the club was tempting, Isabela wanted to enjoy the feeling of the endless horizon and being free. As much as she liked rubbing against people, the club might feel claustrophobic to her right now. Better to do that on a good day.

“You miss her,” Isabela commented. She supposed that went for anyone separated from friends for a prolonged period of time. “How long have you been on this ship, if I may ask?” She hadn’t gotten around to asking Varric that yet. But she would.

“I do. She was the reason I survived after the wreck. Every time I thought it would get too hard, every time I thought about giving up, or when I was dangling above some chasms or being shot at my insane men, I thought ‘I can’t die, I have to save Sam.’ And the others, of course. But mostly Sam.” Lara realized that sounded a little crazy, and was glad for the subject change. “I’ve been on board three weeks. There are others who’ve been on board since the beginning of the year. 8 or 9 months.”

“Sometimes I wonder what it’s like having a friendship like that. Then I realize that I’m just a shallow, selfish person and move on.” Which was a lie. Sure, Isabela seemed to be shallow and selfish on the surface, and to some degree she was both, but she was far more than that. She still refused to give herself credit for being a decent human being underneath everything. She embraced the whole lying, thieving snake thing.

“Eight or nine months? Maker, that’s a long time to be on this thing.” Though right now, Isabela was more than happy to not be around Kirkwall or Hawke. She didn’t want to deal with any of that crap.

Lara turned her eyes to Isabela, looking at her and maybe a little bit into her. “You’ve a low opinion of yourself. I think there’s more to you than meets the eye.” Anyone who was that self-deprecating was probably better than they thought they were.

“I hope the ship stops planetside more often than not.”

“No there really isn’t. I really am this shallow.” It was easier to subscribe to that, than to admit to the low opinion of herself. Because Isabela did have a very low opinion of herself. “You and me both,” she responded, gazing out at the ocean again. Isabela knew she wouldn’t be able to take being cooped up on this ship for prolonged periods of time.

The melancholy was catching. Lara stepped next to Isabela and while she didn’t put an arm around her or anything like that, she did lean in just a little, as though offering her shoulder. They barely knew each other, but Lara felt drawn to her. Like they were kindred spirits, or at least damaged in similar ways.

When Lara leaned in, Isabela eyed her out of the corner of her eye. It was certainly an odd thing. Isabela wasn’t one to just lay her heart, or her burdens, bare. Nor was she one who really had these sorts of moments with people, but she didn’t turn it down. “Thanks for stopping and helping me. And for showing me this. I needed this.” And she’d needed the company.

"It's... any time," Lara replied. "I think I needed this too.".