InsaneJournal

Five was unhappy here. Of course, that wasn’t really a surprise since he was kind of unhappy everywhere. He wore his battle scars in his missing eye, his limp, and the scars that disfigured an otherwise unremarkable face, but the worst wounds he had were mental. Something had broken in his mind after he’d killed Eight, and he wasn’t sure it was something that could ever be fixed. He was just...not himself anymore. He was shattered, and everything seemed twisted and wrong. It wasn’t a good feeling, knowing that you really were a bad person.

He was heading down the hallway to the lounge when he saw the guy that he’d talked to on the network; the guy who was guilty like him. He stopped for a second, then took a step closer and waved.

“Hey.”

***

He probably should have been more wary about this place. With Coulson being here, with Simmons and with Skye….or Daisy. He was slowly getting used to the name change though how much she’d changed from that girl on the Bus still gave him pause sometimes.

He’d decided not to hide who he was from the ship. The things he’d done would come to light eventually anyway so why not here. Perhaps by some irony, the kid he’d been discussing exactly that with waved to him from further down the hall. He’d betrayed people, killed people.

And he looked broken.

“Hey, Five right?”

***

“Yeah,” he said, looking up at the guy. “Ward?” He wasn’t necessarily proud that this was the guy on the ship he seemed to have the most in common with, but there was also something nice about having someone understand him. And this guy did, better than most of the goodie-two-shoes people here.

“I was going to get a drink,” he said. He liked that he was old enough to drink here. He wasn’t back home. “Wanna join me?”

***

“That’s right” he confirmed. It was pretty weird, knowing what they had in common. But Daisy had suggested he branch out and get to know people, and maybe he could help the kid. Maybe he could do some good.

And so getting a drink sounded like a plan. He didn’t consider if Five was old enough, it didn’t bother him either way, he’d drunk before 21. And Five had been through a lot.

“A drink sounds good. You know your way round this place yet?”

***

“I’ve wandered a bit,” he said with a shrug. “Found the bars of our cage. The places they won’t let us go.” Other people could blind themselves to the truth, but the fact was that this was a prison like any other. It was just a nice gilded one.

“I know my way to the lounge, though.”

It was one of the places he liked hanging out. Drinks dulled the pain of his physical injuries, and sometimes dulled his mind a little too.

***

“A fr...someone I know suggested we could find jobs here, a way to get back on track. I don’t know how true that might be or if this is a gilded cage. They already told command I was someone to keep an eye on but I don’t blame them. They have every reason to hate me.”

He nodded, letting Five leave the way to the lounge.

“It’s not gonna be easy. But you're not trying to hide yourself, or deny the things you’ve done. That will mean something. It’s possible these people actually believe in second chances” he said. “Or, I’m desperately hoping so, That’s up for debate.”

***
“Jobs,” Five scowled. He might have been a little bit on the lazy side. That wasn’t to say that he wouldn’t work...but he didn’t really like the idea of his work going to help the people who had trapped him here. “Yeah, I guess that’s something.”

They reached the lounge, ordered drinks, and Five found them a table a bit away from the others so that they wouldn’t be overheard.

“What did you do?” He asked. They’d spoken vaguely on the network, but neither of them had divulged any details. Probably something that was best left for face to face.


***

“Double agent.” he said simply. “I was working for one side pretending to be the other, got close to them, really close to them but in the end, I had my orders.” It was more complicated than that. A lot.more complicated but it was enough to start out with.

“That organization came out of the shadows, we had to make our choice and I did some things I’m not proud of. People died.”

He took a drink, this wasn’t something he talked about. He didn’t deny it but he didn’t volunteer it either.

“You?”

***

Five took a long drink before telling his story. He didn’t like to tell it, and hadn’t actually ever had to back home.

“Well, my planet was destroyed when I was four. We fled to earth, blah blah blah. Anyway, stuff happens and I find myself alone on the streets of Miami. The ones who destroyed my planet find me and tell me if I join with them against my people they’ll let me live.”

He shrugged.

“So yeah, I joined with them, then found the rest of my people, pretending to be one of them. And I killed one of them and betrayed the rest.”

***

Interesting. He’d made a choice, a dangerous choice but the only one he thought he had. Whether that was right or wrong it sure as hell wasn’t for him to judge.

“You made a call. I get it. That’s all life is, choices. I betrayed the first people in my life to ever feel like a family and you did what you had to to survive. I’m not going to judge that. But what is it you want to do here? You want a job, you want to get on with things here, you can.”

***

“I don’t know what I want to do. I’ve never been given a choice. Everyone’s always decided for me, ever since I was four years old.”

There was anger in his voice, anger at never having been allowed to make his own decisions. He’d always been a pawn in someone else’s game.

“I don’t even know why I can do, outside of my Legacies. That’s all that ever mattered.”

***

Now that he understood.

“Same” he said simply. “But here’s the thing. Those things still happened and those people got hurt, I know it's...I know people don’t see what got us there but it doesn’t change that we have to work twice as hard for half as much. It is what it is.”

That being said, maybe he could really help the kid out. Being here was going to be tough for him.

“Okay so, few questions, is there anyone here from your world, anyone you hurt? And tell me about these Legacies? What are they?

***

“Yeah,” Five said, understanding that perfectly. It felt good to have someone understand.

He shook his head. “No, there’s nobody here from my world. I’m the only one.” He was glad about that. At least he wouldn’t have to be fighting their words about him along with everything else. He wouldn't have a chance if John or Seven or Nine was here.

“My Legacies...they’re abilities. I’m telekinetic.” He flicked his wrist and all the silverware and glasses rose from the table. After giving Ward a chance to observe what he’d done, he put them gently back on the table. “I can also fly. Really fast and really high when I want to. And there’s my externa.” He’d have to show him that one.

He grabbed a spoon from the table, holding it tightly in his fist. In seconds, his skin matched the spoon, silver and metallic.

***

Well. That was...a lot.

He watched the kid use his powers, the telekinesis and something that reminded him way too much of Carl Creel. His mind immediately went to what Hydra would have done to Five and it wasn't a pretty picture. People in a lot of worlds were scared of what was different but that’s one thing he’d give this place. It really wasn’t.

“So why did you tell me you weren’t good at anything? Cause looking at this I’d say you are.”

He wondered had someone told Five he was worthless, or weak? Had someone broken his spirit. Or had he simply been stuck with no other option than to do what he had done.

“You can have a place here. You can make a difference. If you want to.”

***

“This?” He said with disgust, dropping the spoon and letting his skin return to normal, “This is nothing. It doesn’t mean anything. The others? They all have Legacies too. And they’re a team. They work together. Trust each other. I’m not a part of that. I’m not a part of the Mog team, either. They promised me a place but they don’t trust me either.”

He shrugged. His spirit had been more than broken, it had been shattered. He’d killed his only friend, his mentor in order to prove himself to the Mogs, and then he’d killed Eight by accident in a fit of rage against Nine. Nine, who thought he was so much better than Five was.

Killing Eight had been the final straw. Something in his mind had broken forever and he knew it could never be completely fixed.

***

“It’s something. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. I get it, I get knowing things go on without you. I know how it feels knowing they trust each other and you’ve ruined any chance of that. But you need to work out are you going to wallow in that? Are you going to let that define you or are you going to make something of yourself.” he asked.

He was willing to help him. But he knew how dangerous that could be. How he’d been taught to be strong was nothing he would ever wish on anyone.

“What do you want out of your time here? Be honest or this is a pointless waste of both our times.”

***

“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “I’ve never thought of my life beyond the War. Everything I was ever taught was geared toward that, by one side or the other.”

He shrugged, wracking his brain to give Ward an honest answer.

“I guess I want to be happy. Or at least content. Not to be so alone. Or maybe just not be so broken,”

He didn’t even know if that was possible, but it was the truth. The end to all his pain was what he wanted most,

***

“It's hard to find purpose. When everything you know is focused on one goal. When that stops, it's painful. Physically painful. I just wanted it all to stop”

He sighed, it had gotten so messy.

“I tried to make it up to everyone I hurt...they didn't want it. I was… I am, kinda lost. I wish I had all the answers. I don't. But I know you need a focus. Something good. Something you can work on. Be it a job, being more social. Something. Does that make sense.”

***

“Yeah,” Five said with a sigh. It did make sense. It was pretty much exactly what he’d been thinking himself, that he needed something to make give his life, well, meaning. He needed an anchor, something that gave him a purpose here whether people liked him or not.

“I guess I could try to get a job.”

He just wasn’t quite sure what he could do. Or what they’d let him do.

***

“That’s a start. That’s something to build from. I’ve been where you are and I didn’t make the right call. Maybe you can.” he told Five.

There were options for him, he was alone here, no one from his world. There was a lot he could do with those powers he had. He just had to earn their trust.

“I’ll help you, okay? Anything I can do to make all this easier. Because it won’t be simple. I can promise you that but I have to believe it will be worth it.”

***

“Nothing’s simple,” Five said. He understood that. Life was hard and complicated, and so was everything in it. That was one thing he didn’t have to be warned about.

“Thanks,” he said, looking down at his drink. He really did appreciate it, even if he wasn’t all that great at being grateful. “Can't promise I’ll be the best student you’ve ever had, but I’ll try.”

***

“Don’t…don’t say student. It’s not anything I’m teaching you. I’m no better, believe me. I’ll just be there if you need advice or anything.”

He couldn’t be a teacher. He wasn’t going to treat this kid like John had him. He wasn’t going to repeat history with a scared angry kid needing help.

“For now though, we drink. For what we’re trying to do, we need a few more of these each.”

***