InsaneJournal

Pike had set up the Vulcan chess set in the sitting room of his quarters, pouring himself a glass of whiskey for the evening. He was looking forward to the evening. Since returning to the Enterprise, he'd been trying to get into a routine, covering overnight bridge shifts occasionally for Jim, collaborating with Command and Jim about the traveler situation, and working with Peggy and the TLO for those on board. Which now meant working on developing an educational curriculum. It wasn't quite the workload he was used to, but he was managing to adapt. He found that it was worth getting into his old habits - of which chess games with Spock had been one of them.

"Come in," he called, glancing up when the door chimed and he saw Spock. "Can I get you something to drink? Tea?"

"I would appreciate a cup of tea," Spock replied. "Thank you, Admiral."

It had been some time since he and Pike had sat down to a game of chess, namely because the Admiral had died some time ago. It was one of the more bizarre instances of the traveler situation that he was back, and part of the crew. Spock was not complaining, however, as he might have with other new residents of the Enterprise.

"I have quite missed our chess games," Spock confessed. There were few aboard the ship who would play against him more than once.

"Well, that definitely makes two of us," Pike said as he made Spock a cup of tea and brought it over to the couch for him. The game was already set up, but Pike took a sip of his whiskey and gave Spock a considering look.

"Spock… before we begin, I'm not sure I ever properly thanked you for what you did when I was dying.."

"Thanked me, Admiral?" Spock said, looking up at Pike confused. He accepted the cup of tea and continued to look at the other man with curiosity. It would not have been possible for Pike to have thanked him at the time, but he did not understand this profession of gratitude now.

"It was…" Pike found himself at a loss for words, something that didn't happen to him very often. As it was, he wasn't entirely what to do with the fact that he remembered dying and yet now was alive again. Which is why he tended to avoid the topic and focus on work.

"You managed to bring me comfort and peace in that difficult time. And for that I will be forever grateful."

"Then I suppose it would be customary to say you're welcome," Spock replied, somewhat surprised of how Pike remembered the gesture. It had the opposite effect on Spock, and he avoided thinking about that, or the time he had watched Kirk die.
Both of those instances had an emotional impact on him, and dwelling on them served no practical purpose. Still, this had him curious, enough to ask, "Admiral? How did that help?"

"Because in the end, in those last moments, there was fear. That wasn't how I wanted to go. Dr. Boyce would say I used up my nine lives by the time I was 40, but just because I've had plenty close calls with death didn't mean I was ready to die. There were certainly times after the Narada that I wanted to die… but there's nothing quite like knowing you're in your final moments."

It was a sobering conversation and Chris took a seat on the sofa, massaging his leg. "And Kirk was right… we played right into his hand."

He paused to take a drink of his whiskey before continuing. "What I'm trying to say is that everything I felt as I was dying - the fear, the pain, the anger, the sadness - having you there in the final moments and the connection, it…. It made me feel less alone in those final moments."

Spock hesitated for a moment, sipping at his tea as he considered Pike. "I am glad that you did not have to deal with those emotions alone, even as I hope to never feel them again."

Another pause. "I wish I had been able to be present when you were brought here. I imagine it would be fascinating to experience the emotions you felt as you awoke."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that. No one should have to bear the burden of that." There were things Spock had seen that Christopher would have preferred no one see, but it was probably best not to mention those.

And there was Spock's insatiable curiosity. "Disbelief. Confusion. Pain and fear. At least initially. I was confident I'd drawn my last breath."

"And yet here you are, very much alive," Spock stated, eyebrow raised. "For that alone, I am grateful." Glancing at the chess board, until now neglected, he moved his first pawn. "I would still appreciate it if Starfleet would find alternate accommodations for the rest of our new arrivals, however."

There were few topics that struck a nerve with the Vulcan, but this was one of them.

Pike couldn't help but smile. He had missed Spock's blunt honesty when the Enterprise had been out on its missions, even though it was frustrating at times. He had heard some of Spock's comments in meeting to command. "What is it particularly about their presence that bothers you?"

"I was told studying them properly would be invasive, but since travelers started arriving, we have not completed any actual missions," Spock replied. "The probability of this changing in the near future is close to nil."

The Enterprise had essentially become a far overqualified cruise ship, and that was a source of continuous frustration for Spock, who had remained on the Enterprise because of the missions Starfleet normally tasked them with.

"You wish to study the travelers?" Chris asked, raising an eyebrow. It would be invasive, that much was true, but with Spock's intellect, it was possible such a study might lead them to some answers and that was, in Pike's opinion, worth the risk.

"It does prevent us from normal operations, especially since many of them would want to participate and that's a headache in and of itself, but it should still be able to do some deep space research even with the travelers aboard."

"I wish to put their presence aboard this ship to some measure of practical value," Spock answered. "It seems as though we should be traveling to the nebula if we're going to continue to house these travelers," he added. "However, I have repeatedly voiced my opinions and they are not shared with those at Headquarters."

Raising one brow as he did when he was amused in spite of himself, he continued, "I will continue to voice those opinions, as I'm no doubt you are aware." Spock could be quite stubborn and Admiral Pike had witnessed that first hand on more than one occasion.

"You want to take the Federation's flagship and the best crew in the fleet towards a nebula which is correlated with a rupture in time and space? And what if the Enterprise were to end up in some alternate universe. I understand the reluctance of Command to risk this ship and her crew like that," Pike countered, well aware of Spock's stubbornness on issues.

"However, if you wish to conduct experiments on the travelers, I'm willing to undergo whatever you design and there might be other travelers as well who share my views."

"It's only logical that we study the source of these anomalies in space and time rather than accept them as commonplace without regard to the questions of how and why they have arrived here as so many have been willing to do," Spock replied without hesitation.

"There are always risks, Admiral, which is why proper precautions are taken to the best of our abilities. I also don't suggest we fly right into it, but surely we ought to do something proactive."

Pike's willingness to participate in experiments was useful, however and Spock acknowledged that. "Perhaps if I draft a voluntary program I might be met with less resistance."

"And you believe that we can do better research from here than starfleet can do from their research stations planetside." Chris considered the proposition as he moved one of his pieces on the board. He'd heard Spock's arguments when they were at HQ, but he'd been preoccupied with Boyce's exhaustive medical exams and the bullshit hoops he'd had to jump through. "You may have a point to that. If you write up a research proposal - with reasons for why these experiments would be better performed near the nebula, I'll back it in my next comm with Command."

Of course, if they did find out what was causing all this, there was a chance that it would end.. And what did that mean for Pike? Would he stop existing? Go back to nothingness?

"Thank you, Admiral," Spock replied, glancing at the board and then making his next move. "From a practical standpoint, signing up for extensive time in space should be a choice. I believe most of these travelers would be better suited at Yorktown or another base. Headquarters, perhaps."

Considering the board only three moves in, he added, "While I do appreciate those who have arrived and found ways to occupy themselves, some of them come from far inferior times where science and technology were not as advanced and while they wish to work, we could spend years training them just to bring them up to speed."

And then they could disappear without warning.

"I agree with you. Deep space isn't suited for everyone and the enterprise isn't a transport ship. And the fact that they're here involuntarily… Complicates things a bit."

Pike contemplated the chess board before taking a sip of whiskey. "Well it seems I'll be teaching again to help bring them up to speed. Seems I can't escape the academy."

He gave Spock a look. "But you realize I'm one of them. If we discover what's causing this, if we fix it.. or if we decide travelers shouldn't be on the enterprise, that would affect me too.."

"That is an uncertainty, Admiral," Spock replied. "However, if we can understand what is happening, we may be able to control what is happening or at least give people a proper choice. And as to belonging on the Enterprise, there are few who most certainly have a claim to that as you."

He awaited Pike's move and added, "After all, we need someone to teach this unlikely batch of students and I am in no hurry to volunteer myself."

"You did teach at the Academy," Chris said with a smile as he made his move, so far holding his own against Spock in the game, but knowing it probably wouldn't last. "Although I imagine it's somewhat frustrating for you."
He swirled the whiskey around in his glass. "I don't have a right to this ship anymore, Spock. I may think i do, and I may still consider the Enterprise my ship, but she's not. She belongs to Jim and I died, Spock. I had thirty good years in the fleet. But I agree, we need to find out the cause of this... "

"First we need Starfleet to agree and grant us permission, so I daresay you have plenty of time before you need to worry about that, Admiral. Your time right now is probably better spent deciding how you'll avoid all but certain defeat in this game."

Spock moved his bishop out and scanned the board, calculating possibilities and probabilities in his head. He was grateful Pike had invited him over, as there were few better ways to relax than over a game of chess.