InsaneJournal

It was the rarest of rare things to be on a ship this large, with this much fresh food at its disposal. River was used to the life she’d lead on the Serenity, where regular meals were hard to come by. The last time she’d tasted fresh strawberries had actually been the day Shepherd Book had come aboard.

She’d ordered far more food than she could possibly have eaten all at once, but there was plenty to go around. River was of a mind to gorge herself on every delicious thing she could imagine, and so her breakfast tray was stocked with three different glasses of juice, a glass of milk, fresh fruits - including strawberries - all cut up in a kind of salad, pancakes, fresh eggs, and cheeses. She picked up an apple when they finally settled in, and grinned at Book, “Such a bounty of food, there’s plenty to share! It makes our old galley look sad, but I still miss it. And the sounds. This ship doesn’t make the same sounds.”

"She's quieter, this one. More humming, less thunking." Of course the mention of thunking made him think of Kaylee fondly. Book wasn't used to the variety and abundance of food, accustomed to the simple standards of stew and oatmeal at the monastery and the tinned food they'd on board Serenity. He still had simple tastes after all that.

He gave River a smile. She was still someone to protect to him, even though he knew she could probably kill everyone on this ship. He was glad to see her familiar face as well. "You're settling in okay? No one's been unkind to you, have they?"

"They haven't had time to be unkind," River replied, smiling at him. She picked up her butter knife and started carving off a piece of apple to eat. It was a habit she'd picked up from Zoe and Mal, but she liked the idea of carving the apple into smaller, bite sized pieces. "Some are curious... some know things about me. I don't mind. My roommate's quiet, but she's been through a lot. Her mind is loud to make up for it."

She paused and added, before popping a piece of apple in her mouth, "Shouldn't say things like that in front of others. Don't want to spook them again."

"You'll let me know though, won't you, child? If anyone speaks against you? We're guests here so we need to try to settle any problems with words. We don't have the Captain and the Serenity to just take us away."
Book was fiercely protective of River, and of all the Serenity's crew, but River was special and he didn't want to get either of them in a situation where the captain here might be tempted to drop them off on the nearest planet. In some ways, this ship reminded him of the alliance… which wasn't necessarily a good thing.

His breakfast was simple - oatmeal, some fruit, and black coffee - which tasted better than any he'd had in a long time. He took a long sip. "Best not to spook the others. But you don't need to mind your words around me. You can always say anything you want."

"I know." River replied, nodding her head. Though whether that was in response to being able to tell him anything at all, or the fact that no one else was going to be able to save them, was unclear. She looked thoughtful for a while as she worked on bits and pieces of the rest of her plate, more grazing than actually eating. She was pacing herself.

"But I don't think they'll just send us away, not at first. You're safe, you're needed, they need someone like you. I don't think they need me yet, I might be more than they could handle. Captain's a good man, though. Not Mal, but... good. They feel responsible for us. They don't know why we're here, but it's not our fault and they’re doing their best."

She glanced at Book, and nodded her head, "We're a symbol, we have to look out for each other. I don't think anyone will be mean, but if they are, I'll tell you. I missed you."

"I missed you too, River." Shepherd Book reached out and covered her smaller hand with his own, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Wasn't the same being on the ground without any of you about. Was where I needed to be, I'm sure, but wasn't the same without you."

Book trusted her assessment of the captain and the crew. He'd learned to not ask too many questions when it came to how River could do things. "They're doing a fine job so far. And as long as I'm here, I'll do what I can to keep you safe as well."

That was no idle promise, either. River has seen the Shepherd in action when he needed to be, and she knew there were secrets he hid away in his memories like precious stones. Things even she could never know. Which was good.

She glanced out the window at all the stars, and then nodded her head. "I don't think I could live on the ground anymore. Even a nice place like Haven. Not enough stars. I think Simon wanted to settle down somewhere, he never did take to all the adventures we'd get up to. I don't think he would now, though. Not with Kaylee, she likes being in the sky too much. The engines on the ground aren't as fun to work on."

Something felt like it was about to happen, but River wasn't sure what. It was as if the entire galaxy was holding its breath. She poked at her pancakes before finally picking up a fork to cut into them.

"I can't imagine Kaylee anywhere but that ship," Book said with a fond smiles. "Are there enough stars here for you? Have you learned their names yet?"

"Not these ones, no. They're always in motion, it's hard to tell. But there's enough! I need a star map for this sector, I thought I'd work on it after breakfast." They were far away from the system that they'd been in, and River held out a faint hope that they were back in the system that Earth-That-Was existed. It would be fascinating to get to visit that planet someday.

She could spend entire days just memorizing every chart for every system this ship would ever fly to, if she got her hands on the data. It was a good thought, since she didn't think they'd let her pilot the ship. Something else to keep her mind busy. "The nebula we're near is pretty, though, all those colors. So much black where we're from, you forget there can be colors."

"Sounds like a lovely idea. I was thinking I might go ask-"

Shepherd's words were interrupted as the entire ship shook, coffee sloshing out of the mug as Shepherd stumbled off the chair onto the floor.

"River! Are you alright?"

This was the event that the entire galaxy around them seemed to be holding its breath over, but River didn't realise it herself until after it had come. Her breakfast sloshed around, juice and milk spilling out of their glasses, and her first thought was to save her tray.

She swayed in place and then fell to her knees, her hand snapping out to grab hold of their food. "No... This is bigger than I thought, I- Yes, I think I'm okay?"

The shaking stopped, and the lights flickered momentarily. River let go of their trays and tried to block out the hundreds of voices crying out in panic all around the ship. "There's bruises and bumps, people are trapped, there's too many. Are you okay? Did you hit your head?"

Her knees were slightly bruised, but it was minor. It wasn't nearly as bad as some of the pain other people were in. "Please be okay..."

He felt a little sore as he got to his knees and then to his feet, bracing himself on the table. "Bigger than you thought?" he asked in confusion. "I'm alright, River. Are you?" The way she talked worried him and his first concern was to keep her safe. And calm.

"Something was coming, but I didn't know the whole ship would shake," River tried to explain. Shepherd's voice was a good point to focus on. It was clear and gentle and safe, and she tried to push everything else out. Her hands went up, like she was physically dashing the rest of the ship away, for all the good it would do her.

"I don't know. I'm not hurt, it's just a lot." Keeping calm was definitely better. "Make me a stone," She whispered. Back on Miranda, that had helped. Stones couldn't feel other people's emotions or hear things they shouldn't.

"It is a lot. Just focus on me." Shepherd put his hands on River's shoulders, squeezing gently and trying to focus her attention on him. "I can't make you a stone, child, but I need you to focus on me… not on the ship okay. We need to keep each other safe, okay?"

River closed her eyes and nodded her head. "You can't make me a stone, but you're like a stone." Especially standing behind her like that. Shepherd was grounded in his faith and stood by it even when he was afraid. Right now when most of the ship was in a panic, he was right beside her. Calm, and mainly worried about her.

She focused on that feeling. "Should we... pray?"

"I'll be your stone if you need me to be." The red alert rang through the ship and Book listened with one ear to the message while keeping his hands on her shoulders. At least there was space here on the observation deck. And a good view.

"We could. Didn't think you were one for praying, but I'm happy to, if you'd like me to."

"You said it wasn't about being right or wrong or broken or fixed. Just about belief. You believe, and there's so much in the 'verse we can't explain." River said, still focusing on his voice, and his presence. It was already working. The other voices, the other people and their emotions, were slowly starting to fade off into the background. "Praying can't hurt. It can only really help."

Especially since they couldn't be sure what had happened, yet. "There's no certainty, nothing's stable right now, but faith can be."

"It is. Come now, let's have a seat." Shepherd urged her towards the floor, imagining she'd be more comfortable sitting on the floor. He settled down cross legged on the floor, keeping a hand on her arm.

"Have you ever prayed before, child? It's a bit like meditating. Clearing the mind and then focusing on breath. Being thankful for all that we have and asking for what we need."

Just as it was with learning how to pilot a ship, River could have picked the details of prayer right out of Shepherd's head. But that felt like an invasion of privacy, and she liked it better, hearing these things aloud.

That's what two good ears were for, she figured. River sunk gracefully to the floor, crossing her legs quickly, and placing her hands on her knees. "I don't think I ever got much chance to do either." Maybe she could have done with more prayer, though. Even if the concept of Faith was still new.

"Teach me how?" She asked, as she closed her eyes.

Shepherd took her hands in his. "You've the chance to do many things now, I imagine."

His voice was deep and soothing as he continued. "Focus on what's constant. On what you believe in. Think of the universe, the stars. Trust in the constancy of the universe that has existed before us and will exist after us."

He took a deep breath. "Holy one, we come from stardust and will return to stardust. You are infinite, beyond comprehension. In this vast universe, we ask for strength in this uncertain time. Keep us and everyone aboard this vessel safe and calm. Help us to help each other and remind us of our inherent goodness."