InsaneJournal

Leia knew well enough from her own experience that Christopher wasn’t ‘fine,’ and while she didn’t want to anger him by interrupting any kind of holo he had with Starfleet command, she also didn’t buy into the fact that he didn’t want her around at all. She waited until enough time had passed, in her opinion, that his conversation with them would be over before making her way to his quarters. She carried her PADD with her and nodded, smiling tightly at any crewmen and officers she passed on her way, presenting herself more like a general than a woman going to see the man she had been casually sleeping with.

She pressed the pad outside of his quarters to alert him to her presence and then stood there, shoulders squared, looking down at her PADD as though going over a report before some kind of official meeting with someone. If there was one thing Leia had learned in her decades of both political and military work, it was not to let anyone think you didn’t belong or didn’t have an important reason for being exactly where you are. She waited, none too patiently, for him to respond.

Christopher's hair showed the signs of having run his hands through it a few too many times as he poured himself a scotch. It was barely noon, but he'd been on his feet since 1400 yesterday and he just wanted a drink and a nap before dealing with anything else. The chime of the door was an unwelcome intrusion. He set the glass of single malt aside, sighed heavily and straightened his uniform, preparing himself for whatever needed his attention.

"Come in!" he called, voice gruffer than usual.

Leia let the door slide open and then stepped in, barely, in case there was an immediate need for her to turn on her heel and leave. The door slid shut behind her though, a good thing rather than letting anyone walking past see her hovering in the entryway to Admiral Pike’s quarters. “How did your holo go?” she asked, getting straight to the point. She’d know immediately if she ought to leave or if she could tempt him with some of her relaxation techniques.

"Fucking command," he muttered. "Looking like multiple days of briefings and medical exams before they make a full determination."

He relaxed slightly when he realized it was just Leia and not a starfleet officer requesting his assistance. He reached for the scotch and took a long sip. "Can I get you a drink?" She was here, he might as well be hospitable though he didn't really want company.

She crossed her arms over her chest and nodded. “That’s not as bad as it could have been,” she said. She flicked her gaze over to the scotch and almost commented that it was a little early in the day before she remembered that he’d taken an overnight shift. It was easy, she recalled, to get standard hours all mixed up when it came to varying shifts.

“No, thank you,” she said. Followed by a command: “Sit down, Chris. I assume you have nowhere to be until your next shift on the bridge, and you need to sleep before then.” Before he could respond, she gestured to a chair, not the sofa, and set her PADD down on the desk. “And don’t argue that you have work to do. Even admirals need their sleep,” she said.

"No, I suppose they could have decided to ground me already, but they know if they did that, Kirk and I would probably take evasive action." Pike knew if Starfleet tried to do anything to him, Kirk wouldn't take it sitting down. Which was a stupid thing to do for Kirk, but it warmed his heart.

He drank the scotch too quickly and poured another, sipping it as he paced the room. "I'll be fine. Still have plenty of time." After all, he was used to functioning on four to six hours of sleep.

She filed it away, the little tidbit of information about Captain Kirk. What Pike was saying sounded a lot like some of the rebellious missions she took on in her day. Hell, the entire Resistance itself was formed because Leia didn’t like what the New Republic was doing. Or, more specifically, what it wasn’t doing.

“Sit,” she said again, adjusting herself to look like the general that was used to commanding her troops. She didn’t care of Pike didn’t like it; she wasn’t going to back down about this. Leia looked over at him, breathing in deeply, calming herself which, in turn, sent a ripple of calmness into the air around her, extending by proximity to him as well.

He decided in that moment that she would have made a great ally - or opponent - had she been in Starfleet. Christopher hesitated a moment longer before taking a seat at his desk and automatically reaching for his PADD.

He rubbed at the crease in his forehead as he let out a sigh, feeling that odd calmness. "What even?" he asked in confusion.

Leia stepped behind him and reached first for his scotch, which she took from him and set out of reach, and then his PADD, which she also set out of reach, despite his objection, which she knew wasn’t far behind. “I told you,” she said quietly, “I can help you relax. It’s one of the few things I let my brother really teach me, honestly. I didn’t need any of his other Jedi tricks, but the chance to meditate and relax when everything around me is gone to hell?” A slight flicker of laughter coated her tone. “Yes, please.”

She set a hand on his shoulder, her fingers slipping against the side of his neck gently. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the energy inside of her and around the both of them, allowing it to flow from her to him. She flattened a hand against his back, her palm pressed between his shoulder blades. “I could have used this when I was in the senate the first time, but that was long before I knew anything about myself, really.”

Christopher made noises of protest when she took his scotch and his PADD. "And I told you, already, I'm fine." He'd become used to the tension in his back and shoulders. It came with the job. And if some days were harder than others, so be it.

His hand went up to cover hers on his neck, not sure if he wanted to pull it away or not. "Leia…"
“Ssh,” she said. “I don’t believe you when you say you’re fine.” Because how many times had she used those exact same words, to Han, to Luke, to Poe, to - everyone - and never mean it. Had she ever meant those words when she said them? She didn’t think so.

Leia turned her hand over and laced her fingers through his when he reached up in protest. She curled the fingers against his back in slightly, breathing out through her nose. “It’s okay to take five minutes and breathe, Chris,” she said softly.

It was simultaneously reassuring and frustrating, the way she saw through the bullshit. They were indeed too alike in someways. "No, it's not that.. I mean, I am. It's just…"

He sighed, unsure of how to explain this. He pulled away from her touch and turned to face her, to make sure he could see her. "I have some issues with touch.."

Leia let her hands fall to her sides as she looked at him. She wouldn’t have guessed that, seeing as how they certainly did a lot of touching when they were in bed together. But she knew well enough that that was different. She folded her hands against her stomach and nodded. “All right,” she said, not asking him to elaborate. If he wanted to, he could. If he didn’t, she would respect that. She thought about her own issues with physical contact, borne out of her torture on the first Death Star, brought to light again after the few days she spent nearly naked and exposed in Jabba’s palace on Tatooine.

He wanted to explain, but now wasn't the time, not when he was this tense and frustrated. "It's… complicated." Which was an understatement, to be sure and one that Leia probably knew. "The… incident.. I.. don't do well being held down… Or with things on my neck or being put in my mouth."

Leia met his eyes and nodded. “Noted,” she said. “I don’t like needles, anything wrapped around my neck, or shimmersilk against my skin,” she said, in an effort to let him know she understood, in some way. “I don’t have to touch your neck. Or - touch you at all, though I’m better at this when there’s a physical conduit.” She pressed her lips together and breathed in deeply. “Or I don’t have to try and help at all. I don’t know, maybe you like feeling on edge and stressed all the time.” She tilted her head to the side, almost smiling, at the tease, just to lighten the air between them a little.

"Noted." Perhaps this was a discussion they should have had before falling into bed together, but that wasn't their style. He didn't want her help, didn't want anyone's help. He just wanted to be left alone. "It's better if I can see you. If you don't want to trigger any combat reflexes."

He offered a half-smile with his words although her last words had his eyebrow arching. "With a mouth like that, I get the feeling you weren't very good at taking orders."

“I’ve always prefered giving orders than taking them,” she said. She held her hands out to him, palms up, and gestured for him to put his hands over hers. “I’ll remember never to sneak up on you from behind,” Leia said. “And I’ll never ask to be the big spoon.” At that, she did smile.

"Why am I not surprised?"

He hesitated, unsure of what exactly she was proposing. It had been strange before.. And not just because of her hand on his neck. He sank back into the chair. His leg and back ached and he needed sleep, but he was too worked up to sleep. He reached for the scotch and took a long slow sip.

"You know, I know another way to relax." The cocky captain's smile spread over his lips as he raised an eyebrow at her.

She wet her lips, a blush slipped across her cheek. “A fleeting and superficial way to relax. An hour after climax and you’ll be just as anxious and stressed as you were before.” She wiggled her fingers at him. “We can do that too.” One more time, if he refused, she’d stop. But she hoped that he wouldn’t because she truly thought he could use this.

He was going to make a comment about the need for more sex, but was too tired at the moment. He let out a sigh and set the scotch aside, putting his hands on top of hers.

"Alright, we'll give this a shot.."

Her smile grew. “Good. Now, I want you to relax, be quiet, and try and clear your mind.” If he was anything like her, and she knew that he was, she knew that his mind was full of any number of worries and thoughts and what-ifs and next steps. All of it all at once, at any given time.

Leia curled her fingers up against his palms and closed her eyes, concentrating on pulling the energy around them into her, expelling it out in a light burst, allowing the Force to calm them both down, take their tension and transfer it from them to the air around them, where it could disperse.

It was a strange feeling and one he wasn't entire comfortable with but it did ease the tension. He closed his eyes as his shoulders relaxed slightly. "This makes me was a hot tub. You have those where you're from? A good scotch, a hot tub, some nice music.. Maybe a massage.."

She peeked at him, holding her own concentration as she eased the tension from them both. “A hot tub?” she echoed. “Like a hot spring? We had some hot springs in the moments on Al -” Her concentration broke as her focus shifted to her past. “On the planet I grew up on,” she finished. She slid her hands away from his and looked at him.

"Sort of. With jets and the like. Therapeutic but also enjoyable. Used to have one at the ranch. Nice after a hard days work."

He raised his eyebrow when she changed her words, but didn't push her. It wasn't his place. They both had their secrets, their issues. "You know, if you don't need to be anywhere, we could try another relaxation technique."

She didn’t say that it had been so long since she had a place like a hot tub or hot springs to relax. Perhaps back on Hosnian Prime, when she was still in the Senate, when she had a luxurious bathtub and barely any time to enjoy it. “I don’t have anywhere to be right now,” she said. She glanced over her shoulder back towards his bedroom. “Seems like you have a one-track mind, Admiral.”

"Can you blame me?" He quipped with a smile before running a hand over his hair. "You don't need to stay, Leia. I'm probably going to crash." Which translated to he would probably stay up reading his PADD until he needed to sleep. Or he'd just power through with coffee and sleep after the next shift. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Or we could just watch some vids?"

She blushed at that. “It’s been a while since I heard that kind of compliment,” she admitted without thinking. But she reached for him, leaning down to kiss him softly. “I can stay. Come on, let’s go get relaxed together.”

He returned the kiss, tempted to just pull her into his lap, but he was too old for that. He got to his feet, leaning heavily on his cane. "Vids or something else? I could show you some of my favs."

He wasn't a horny teenager, after all. He had self control and would be content to just spend time with her.

She slipped her hand into his free one and brushed her shoulder against his. “Vids are fine,” she said. “As long as I can get off my feet for a bit, I’ll do anything you want.”

He chuckled, making his way to the bedroom and settling down on the bed before stretching his legs out. "Careful giving me a blank check like that."

Leia followed him, sitting on the edge of the bed to remove her boots and then slip her jacket off her arms. She joined him a moment later, turning in against him rather than laying completely side by side. “Why? Should I be worried about just what kind of vids you’re suggesting we watch?” she asked, looking at him with a grin.

"Your statement wasn't limited to vids, you said you'd do anything I want." Joking with her, he could push everything out of his mind for awhile. Starfleet. Earth. The briefings that were awaiting him. There was no doubt about it in his mind that they would be more like interrogations than briefings. Phil. They hadn't exchanged more than a few official messages since Pike had arrived. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillow.

"My CMO used to make me martinis in my quarters after a hard mission. To help me relax."

“I’m afraid I don’t know how to make a martini,” she said. “So you’d be very disappointed if you asked me to.” She turned her cheek into her pillow and looked at him. Tentatively, she moved a hand over onto his stomach. “Maybe we ought to just take a nap. I’ve found that the older I get, the more I don’t mind sleeping in the middle of the day.” Sometimes, sleeping in the middle of the day meant she didn’t have any nightmares. She could get used to that.

He chuckled. "I have the utmost confidence you could learn to do anything you put your mind to." His hand reached up to play with a loose strand of her hair while his other hand found hers on his stomach and squeezed - seeking reassurance and something more. "Besides, your drink making skills aren't what attracted me to you."

Chris didn't like often being reminded of his age, but it was different with Leia. They were in the same boat, though Leia seemed to be handling it better than he was.

She squeezed his hand back and pressed her nose into shoulder. “No? Can I be selfish for a moment and ask what it was that attracted you to me?” She could think of many things that made him attractive to her. His rank, his command, the way he held himself, his looks, of course. Leia allowed herself just this moment, this slight lack of confidence, because sometimes she looked back over the last decade and wondered when it was that she lost all of this with her husband.

Chris lifted his head, opening his eyes and raising an eyebrow. It didn't seem in character for her, but he could humor her. He brushed his lips against her forehead. "Your confidence. Your no bullshit meter. Your sass. Your hair. Your laugh…"

He brought her hand up to his lips and pressed a kiss to it. "That thing you do with your tongue."

“Mmn and I like your reaction to that thing I do with my tongue,” she replied, opening her hand up to brush her knuckles against his jaw. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ve been a general for so long that this is a nice reminder that I’m also a woman. And even women like me like to hear handsome men tick off their reasons for taking us to bed.” She sat up a bit and leaned over to kiss him slowly. “I vote let’s forget about the vids and just enjoy each other.”

Chris' neck heated up at that comment as he kissed her hand again. "Also, you don't take my shit. Which is an added benefit. Are you saying you want me to call you Princess more often?"

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, thumb stroking her cheek as he deepened the kiss. "I might be amenable to that request for this afternoon. Although someone told me I'll just be stressed again in an hour, so I'm not sure it's in my best interests."

She tried not to react to the nickname princess, and filed it away as she pushed the memories of Han calling her it out of her mind. “I prefer you calling me general, admiral,” she murmured, leaning into the kiss and sliding herself against him. She pulled back and laughed, deep and throaty, when he tossed her words right back at her. “Well, then maybe we’ll just have to do it all over again in an hour, hmn?”

"General it is, then," Chris said with a smile, pulling her down for a kiss and settling his hand on the small of her back. He laughed at her comment, poking at her side. "I think you've mistaken me for the Captain. It'll take me a lot longer than an hour."

She laughed again and shook her head, leaning into him. “You know, I think that’s a relief, because last time you wore me out and I thought I could sleep for days.”

Christopher chuckled as his hand slid under her shirt. "You don't need to stroke my ego, Leia, but I appreciate the thought. And I thought we agreed no bullshit with each other?"

She laughed, her stomach rising and falling at his touch. “I'm not bullshitting you at all,” she insisted. “I'm an old lady, Christopher,” she told him. “You absolutely wore me out.” Leia reached out to settle a hand on his hip, shifting to smile over at him.

"I'm no spring chicken, either. But if you're still too tired from last week, we can take that nap." He closed his eyes and pretended to snore, knowing how ridiculous he sounded.

She couldn’t help but give him a light smack on the side before tugging him toward her. “We can nap later,” she insisted, sliding a leg over his and kissing him slowly. “We’re clearly both going to need it.”