InsaneJournal

“So what’s going on with you and the catgirl?” Tony asked, getting right down to the knitty gritty. They were supposed to be playing 3-D chess, but they were stuck on his move. Also, Yang was unusually quiet and glum looking, and was working through those Strawberry Sunrises like someone who needed to drink their feelings.

He only knew a little bit about that. After all, he often drank every single emotion he had. Sometimes it took a lot of drinking to get there. ”Just asking ‘cause you haven’t said a single pun yet today. It’s a new Yang record.”

He finally decided to move a pawn, but he was pretty sure he had no idea how this game worked.

Yang thought she'd be pretty good at 3-D chess once she figured it out. She needed to understand three-dimensional fighting, so it made sense to her. A variety of tactics. Maybe she couldn't come up with a plan on the fly as fast as her sister, but no one could do anything as fast as her sister. That was kind of Ruby's thing.

"Uh." Yang stared at the board, stumped by both the move and the question. "Nothing? She was my partner, back at Beacon. They paired us off at the beginning of our first year. First person we laid eyes on, after being launched into the forest. Blake kind of picked me..."

She said that as though launching 17 year olds into the air was no big deal.

Tony thought it was pretty awesome that there was a school where launching kids into the forest was perfectly normal. "Did they use some kind of launch pad or shoot you out of rockets?"

He understood that they were from some kind of tv series, but didn't know the details. It was a shame though that this place they'd gone to school wasn't a real one. "But yeah no. Nope. Not buying it. Sure, partner probably means something else where you're from. You're telling me she picked you, that's a pretty big deal."

Taking up his drink, he added, "Your move. I think. If we're even playing this right."

“Launch pads. We had to come up with our own landing strategy on the fly, find a partner, collect a relic, all while fighting Grimm.” Yang stared hard at the chest board, rather than look at Tony during this conversation. She poked at one of her pieces. “Partner can mean a lot of things. I guess … it doesn’t matter.” Only it mattered.

"This school is awesome. Wishin' I'd gone there instead of MIT. Man I'd like to have seen those guys wet their pants when they told us we were being launched and had to develop our own strategy." Of course if he'd been launched off a launch pad as the tiny human he was when he'd attended college ... that was pre-Iron Man and he wouldn't have had a landing strategy either.

But that's okay, because he would have invented one, probably. That was a problem for AU Tony. "Sure, it can. It can mean gay people together, that's a huge definition right there. Then I guess there's ranks in a law firm, sure, but you're no lawyer. If you are, that's terrifying. Also, too young to be a lawyer. And I don't trust lawyers, half of them are super spies in disguise."

He snorted his nose at that. Legal had come clean with him and they were 'friends' now but he'd never forgive her for that. Not fully. "And what are Grimm besides fairy tales written by a couple of guys who turned everything dark and awful?"

“Dark and awful creatures drawn by negative emotions that kill and eat people,” Yang said. “We were in training to hunt them and protect people. Most of the world is really dangerous. Only where there are a lot of natural barriers are we able to have big cities with lots of technology.”

Yang wondered where Remnant would be if there’d been no Grimm to keep beating them down. She kept staring at the pieces, not really seeing them. “There’s a tournament and festival, every few years. To celebrate the end of a war like sixty years ago. My professors talked about it, how it turned into a war about self-determination and the right to creativity. We kind of fight each other in a tournament, I guess in a way so that we don’t actually really go to war again.”

Why she was talking about this, Yang couldn’t say, but it just kind of tumbled out. “My team made it to the finals, and I was picked for the 1v1. I still don’t know what happened, but … after I won, I saw him attack me, so I defended myself. But the rest of the world saw me attack him unprovoked. And then after that, someone manipulated so that our friend Pyrrha went up against our friend Penny. And Pyrrha’s thing is polarity. Magnetism. And we didn’t find out Penny was a… a robot until the fight was over and she was in pieces. And everyone was horrified. And the Grimm started coming, drawn to the city in huge numbers. And the White Fang, they’re terrorists, and they were attacking too and bringing in more Grimm and dropping them into the city.”

She finally moved her piece, in a way that pretty much meant she was going to lose, but she wasn’t focusing at all. “It was chaos. I found Weiss, and told her to go after my sister while I went looking for Blake. I found her, and there was this guy. He was hurting her. I saw red and…” She waved her right hand. “Next thing I know, I’m waking up, disarmed. My sister is unconscious from doing… something weird, Weiss’s dad is coming to take her away and Blake is just....She ran.”

Hand dropping to her lap, Yang leaned back. Her eyes had flashed red and then back to purple again, but she wasn’t really all that angry. “I was mad for awhile. Mostly at myself and the situation. My team was split up, my partner missing…and then I find her here, after I’d gone looking for my sister and my team.”

"I..." Tony's eyebrows had only raised higher and higher up as Yang had continued her story. Which was... one hell of a story. "Okay... so... Like literally disarmed, then."

That probably wasn't adequate enough of a reaction to everything that had gone down. Tony picked up one of his chess pieces and fiddled with it in his hand. "So like, the people we love? They kind of hurt us. They do it every day. Sometimes they leave us after we charge in to their rescue and lose an arm. Sometimes it's other stuff. Like for instance?"

He looked at her and shrugged one of his shoulders, "Pretty sure I'm going insane. Like, not here, here I'm- well no, I'm not fine. Okay. I can admit that. Less insane though than where I'm going, THERE, pretty sure. Why am I sure? Because apparently in my future I go so crazy that I build the equivalent of a murder robot that tries to death star the planet. So how did that happen, Tony? Why Yang I am glad you asked. You see... there were these aliens, kind of like your Grimm only from space. And they attacked New York City, which I happened to be living in. So we're fighting the space whales and the space aliens, and then an old friend of mine gets ME on the comms because why couldn't he pick Steve, the war hero? Steve doesn't fly."

"Though you'd think he would the way everyone fucking worships his ass." Tony grumbled. He fiddled with his chess piece a bit more, and then set it down. "Checkmate. I think. So right - And I guess Thor doesn't wear comms either. So I have to grab a nuclear missile and fly it up into space. That way it doesn't explode and like, I don't know, level the entire city and irradiate everyone. That's bad, in case you're curious. And of course my suit isn't sealed. No oxygen. Can't breathe. Falling to my death. Oh they caught me sure, my bestie totally saved my life. But after that? Yeah. Panic attacks right and left. Pepper tells me she's sleeping on the couch and acts like I'm ruining her life. My other best friend tells me to get it together and HE'S in the military. The one that caught me? Slept through my whole 'I'm having panic attacks and am not okay' story."

“Literally disarmed,” Yang agreed. She was far enough along in her healing for those kind of jokes. She wished she had some kind of drink that was stronger than orange juice. “So how are you handling being... Up here. In space. Where the bad things happened?”

It was a lot to take in, but she’d dumped a bomb on him so it was kind of fair. She reached over, putting her hand on his arm. “I get the panic attacks. The flash backs. Drop a dish and I’m seeing that jerk again. Was always afraid I’d see Blake again and I really would hate her. Your friends sound like jerks.”

She didn’t really know what a nuke was, but it sounded really, really bad.

"Nah, they're just - I'm always pulling shit. I haven't had my head together since the kidnapping, and that part happened first. Before that I was a playboy who took nothing seriously. Kinda did a lot of badly thought out or stupid stuff." Tony shrugged a shoulder. He didn't like where this conversation was going because it was suddenly leaning heavily in the 'bonding and sympathy direction', and he didn't want to be that guy that needed people.

But he probably needed people. People who understood, and weren't Counselor Troi. He frowned, "They didn't get that I was hurting. Or maybe they didn't get that it wasn't just some momentary 'Tony's off the rails again' kind of thing. I don't know. But it gets claustrophobic in crowds. Anytime things are pressing in around me that aren't the suit. Used to get IN the suit to help myself out, it was dark and cool and JARVIS's voice in my ear was like... I don't know. They blew my house up after that and I was stuck underwater and boom - right back there again. Oh boy. Here we go. Hold on."

He held up a finger and visualised the paper bag he'd been blowing into earlier that day. It didn't help as much as the paper bag or the actual medication did, but he couldn't just go walking around the ship with a bag in his hand all day. "Mainly I pretend to breathe into a bag. Sometimes I take some meds Bones gave me. But yeah. Every time I can't breathe? Stuck in space again. Every time I think of space? Can't breathe. Every time I'm in a situation I can't immediately escape from? Yup. No fun. But hey - she's here, your cat girl. Like, literally on the ship. And not running away from you? Where would she go. Nowhere, that's where. Especially if I don’t teach her how to sneak into places."

Tony was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and while Yang couldn’t fully understand what he was going through, she still understood. Because not everyone understood what she was going through. In fact, the only one that could was herself. But she, at least, had had someone who’d been there for her, patient and a little hard-assed when she’d needed it. She wanted Tony to feel like he wasn’t alone, and also maybe take the subject off of the thing making him panic. “Sometimes, I still feel my arm. Even when I’m wearing the replacement.”

"Well, they say that happens sometimes..." Tony mumbled, while shrugging his shoulder. He picked up some of the chess pieces and started re-arranging them back into their starter positions. He'd won the one they were playing, after all. And he needed something for his hands to do. "But like, that's gotta be weird, phantom hand on top of the real one. Do they argue with themselves about what your hand should be doing? How does that thing work, anyway?"

He snapped his fingers and pointed at Yang's mechanical arm, "We don't have prosthetics like any of that, I mean it's slick as hell. Not that it's cool that you need it, not cool you lost an arm, but the arm itself is a thing of beauty."

“Ironwood sent it to me. It’s Atlas tech. They can do all kinds of things. Not everyone is that lucky, but I think he felt a little guilty about Beacon. He was supposed to be there to protect us. Ironwood is half made of metal too, at least that’s what they said. A real tin man. Or an iron man.” Yang turned her hand over, stretching her fingers. “I learned how to maintain it. Keep it working. When to oil it. It gets power from my body. Isn’t that cool?”

Yang smiled. “Like a battery. And I can feel. Kind of. Not the same way with a real hand, but I can sense pressure and warmth and I can almost imagine what it feels like to hold Blake’s hand.”

Talking to Tony made her feel raw, but it was almost the good kind of raw. Things she’d needed to say out loud, but couldn’t tell to anyone who knew her.

"Real tin man as opposed to... an Iron Man who only wears a suit which is technically actually made out of titanium alloy," Tony remarked, rolling his eyes a bit. Though in actuality, there was no way for Yang to know that Tony actually went by that name, since she came from a completely different world. So probably, his annoyance at her remark was completely unwarranted. "But you didn't know I was Iron Man. So that's fair. Okay. So your guy let you down and bonus: you get a cool arm that lets you feel Blake's Hand."

He pulled some dried blueberries out of his pocket, and popped one into his mouth, then added, "Which of course wouldn't matter unless you wanted to be holding her hand a lot."

“Halfsies anyway,” Yang agreed. She frowned, shrinking back a little. “Sorry. Yeah, I didn’t know. Bet it’s a really spiffy suit.”

Which sounded like better than talking about Blake, but her blush gave her away. “I guess so. Ever care about someone in that way that you don’t wanna mess it up?”

Tony's eyebrows raised a bit, and he held up a blueberry between his fingers before tossing it at Yang's mouth. "Uh... I mean, sure. Kind of. For a while I think we can all agree that I only mainly cared about myself. No one's surprised. You grow up the way I did and you figure - only one looking out for you is you, so ride or die."

He shrugged a shoulder and tapped his chest, where the arc reactor used to be. "I took a bomb to the chest, lots of shrapnel. Kidnapping, that was fun, and we had to keep a battery powered electromagnet in here for a while to keep it all out of my heart. Which was like... change of heart, literally. And I started caring about this girl, Pepper. She'd started out as my assistant and was basically one of two people I could actually trust with... most things.”

“So yeah. I didn't want to mess her up. But I did, plenty of times. Think if I ever get back there I'm just gonna break up with her. Because I'm a mess. Look, don't listen to me. I'm like... old. Way old. Hard to change, and I don't think she and I really work. Like for instance, she hates the superhero gig. And I already told you about how she thinks my flashbacks are an annoyance, so I'm not really digging the lack of respect for my issues, either." Which was odd, Tony thought. Because that was a clear instance of him realising that for once he was the one that deserved better, and that was rare.

Yang caught the blueberry, chewing it and swallowing as she tried to process what Tony was saying. In a lot of ways he reminded her of Uncle Qrow, only less of an alcoholic. “If she can’t respect your PTSD, she’s not the one for you. That’s a part of you. That’s not going away. You can make it better but it’s never going away.”

"I mean - I don't talk about it, so that's on me. But she should know. By the time I ended up here I'd been kidnapped a few times and nearly died a few times more than that. It's gonna be a thing. What pisses me off more is actually Rhodey. He's like... army, man. If I was under his command he’d have been tossing me at a counselor by now." Tony sighed. He didn't want to talk about this anymore, it made him feel vulnerable and a little bit like a whiner. "I'm not whining. But you're right. I think... we're not good. I can't give it up. Sure can't be old Tony. I tried, it was a disaster. So... Maybe I'll hook her up with my bodyguard. I think he's sweet on her anyway."

He tossed her another blueberry, then pointed at her, "Your problems are still right here on the ship. So stop dodging, you artful dodger you. You and Blake are a thing, whether you're saying so or not. So like... I think you need to say so."

Yang decided to be a decider. Or to at least try something a little different and a little new. “There’s thats singing thing right? Maybe I’ll pick something romantic. See how she reacts.”

"There you go. That's a decision. You're gonna sing some romantic power ballad at the singing thing. Also, wishing you luck before hand because by the end of the night I'm pretty sure I won't even be capable of getting back to my room. Let alone remembering how people's romantic conquests went." He said, then motioned back towards the chess board. "Okay. Round TWO: Fight!"

And then he picked up a pawn and moved it. Hopefully this round would go a lot more smoothly.