InsaneJournal

‘Trust me’ had been the words that came out of Tony’s mouth when he’d shown up at Bruce’s place with a bottle and some cups. There were snacks stuffed into his pockets, and a wide grin on his face, and he’d dragged Bruce through the ship without really saying anything more. He took them down a few turbolifts, a few back ways, and then had Bruce play lookout while he crawled around in some tubes to open some doors that, technically, he probably didn’t have access to.

About thirty minutes later they were standing in an area of the ship few people got to see. It was the emergency bridge, and people were usually only on it when they were A: bridge crew and B: in a state of emergency. Oh, and when the entire Saucer Section was missing. That was probably a thing. A thing he never wanted to actually witness ever.

Tony plopped down in one of the chairs, and toasted Bruce with his bottle. “See? I told you this would be awesome.”

As a teen, Bruce had never really been one for peer pressure. He'd had a drink or two, smoked a cigarette once before researching how it would someday destroy your body. But he'd been a good kid, overall. He was so focused on his schoolwork that he'd never really noticed any actual pressure.

With Tony, it was different. So many times he probably should have said no and yet went along with it because Tony asked. Multiple times he'd protested, but still kept following his friend. And maybe that was the point. Maybe he was just so grateful to have a friend after over a decade with no one in his life that he accepted almost anything Tony said or did.

“You're going to get us both fired. Or possibly killed. Or both. Or the whole ship killed.” But he also couldn't deny the view was amazing. So there was that.

"Aww, come oooon. Why would I get us killed? It's not like I'm gonna touch anything, I know better. I may have memorized the blueprints but that doesn't mean I know what all the buttons do." Tony replied, shrugging off most of Bruce's concerns. He opened the bottle and poured them both some alcohol, then started pulling snacks out of his pockets. "Look, I've got cake pops. And I had them replicate me some wasabi peas. And then they had trail mix at breakfast. It's like a picnic."

He even slid off the chair and parked himself on the floor, then organized the snacks into various piles on napkins. "A picnic in a highly restricted area. But no one goes here, most of the time. It's only for a few minutes. It'll be okay."

The look he shot his friend was one of fond exasperation. Tony may have been one of the smartest men Bruce had ever met, but sometimes he was an actual child. Still… The cake pops did look amazing. “This?” He began, taking a seat, even as he glanced in the direction they'd come from to make sure they hadn't been followed. “This is how I let you talk me into creating a murderbot.”

He accepted the cup with his drink, sniffing it carefully. “Do I want to know what this is?” It would be just like Tony to find them an alien liquor that would gradually turn them green. “Or maybe I should be asking where you got it, instead.” Then again, it was Tony. He could have set up a distillery in his room with maybe five minutes of research.

He had not, in fact, set up a distillery in his room, though the thought had become increasingly enticing. What with the way the liquor was always on lock before 6pm. He picked up the bottle and glanced at the label. "It's something blue, but not Romulan Ale. I got it on Yorktown from a human merchant, but I made sure to check that it wasn't lethal to us before I bought it. I mean, I like my life way too much even stuck in space to die from bad liquor choices."

"Plus," He added, as he lifted up his own glass and toasted Bruce with it, "That would look really ridiculous on a tombstone. Do they even have tombstones in space? Tony stop thinking about death. Okay. You got me. I'll stop. Let’s talk about lighter things. Like murder bots."

Because he couldn't help himself but be morbidly curious about the murder bot, even though the thought of creating one had put him underneath his computer console the other day, pretending to breathe into a paper bag.

“We'd make you a fancy memorial,” Bruce insisted. “We can't bury you. Probably just shove you out of an airlock and let you float around till you disintegrate.” Which was a thoroughly disgusting train of thought but it still didn't give him terrified chills the way the thought of Ultron did. It had been several weeks. His life had changed a great deal since then. One would think he'd be okay by then.

He wasn't.

Those people's faces still haunted him. The problem with sharing your body with someone was that, even when you weren't in the forefront, your conscious was still there. He knew his actions when the Other Guy was in charge and he was almost certain the opposite was true. The Hulk had gone out of his way to save Tony, after all. So he still could feel every ounce of damage the monster had caused. Though it hadn't entirely been his fault and he still couldn't quite believe the team had taken in the Maximoff girl.

“Ultron… He's a part of you, really. Not your best parts. You just wanted to help the world protect itself but instead…” Shrugging, he took a sip of the blue...stuff. It wasn't bad. Wasn't great, either. But tolerable.

Being tossed out an airlock was, to Tony, the kind of thing that happened to people who were naughty and broke all the Space Laws. He really hoped that didn't ever happen to him, and the idea of slowly disintegrating made him want to go back to hiding under a computer console. Instead, he decided to drink most of his glass and refill it while Bruce talked.

As self absorbed as he was, he could read people well enough to see that this was definitely not Bruce's favorite topic ever. He picked up a cake pop and handed it to his friend. "These purple ones are the best. There's only one of them, and see? I'm giving it to you to cheer you up."

The blue stuff was definitely only tolerable. Tony frowned at the bottle as he topped Bruce’s glass off. "So I had the best of intentions but like usual I screwed it all up and you guys ended up paying the consequences, sounds like. Also this does not encourage me to ever try the kids thing. Not that I've found anyone aboard I'd feel safe doing that with. Punky'd be a good mom in another lifetime, but I'm never sure of my footing with her. I'm not sure she's sure of her footing at any point ever."

No, it definitely wasn't Bruce's favorite topic. It was right up there with experiments gone very wrong and beautiful women he'd forced out of his life. That part was a bit different now, obviously. For the moment. Until Betty wised up and realized she was making a horrible mistake.

Because when Tony talked so casually about becoming a father, it broke his heart. It had been years since he could even let himself consider it. A wife, a child or two. A family to call his own. But he'd run a battery of tests, making himself into a human guinea pig. Nothing was viable. It probably never would be again.

“I helped,” Bruce said, firmly. Because it was true. He could have said no. It may have been Tony’s idea, but he had assisted. It was partially on him. Maybe that was the reason he'd pulled away from the team. Guilt. “It wasn't all on you and I won't have you blaming yourself. You wanted to save the world.” Maybe it hadn't turned out for the best. That wasn't all on Tony.

Bruce honestly had a hard time keeping track of Tony’s nicknames. “You can't just decide to have a baby just because,” he protested, rolling his eyes. “Promise you won't try and knock up the first available party and I'll let you have the purple cake pop. Pass me the wasabi peas.”

"I have never knocked up a person in my life, because when I was thirty or so I got that operation, and before that I made sure I was safe. Most of the time." Tony said, for a moment looking extremely serious. "Thinking that having one might be kind of cool isn't the same as deciding to have a baby just because. Look at me. Look at who I am. Look at my life."

Tony waved around the ship, even though that hadn't actually been the majority of his life, and then passed Bruce the wasabi peas. "I'm not gonna start now. I know I'm a maker of jokes, I joke about stuff, sure. Mainly it's just a means of deflecting because seriously no kid I ever had would be handled well. I can't even keep fish alive. We've had that talk. Still a nice daydream sometimes, that's all. The nice house, the kids, the wife that's actually good for me. Never gonna be a reality."

Bruce was the kind of guy Tony could talk straight with, which was nice. There were only a few people like that aboard at the moment. And he still deflected a lot with some of them. "But hey. I'll take the cake pop. And try not to put the blame entirely on myself for seemingly nearly destroying the world. Do you want to talk about how you and Nat ended up together? Is that safer?"

The look Bruce shot his friend was stern. “I don't want to hear that. You absolutely could be a great father if that's what you decided you wanted. Just not here and now.” Here and now was a starship, entire realities away from their world. Here and now was strange women they'd never met (except Natasha, and she wouldn't be co-parenting with Tony ever, thanks). In Bruce's eyes, it took a lot more than “here and now” to bring a baby into the world.

“So what you're saying is, the next time we dock, I need to find you an alien fish at an alien pet store?” Who was he kidding? If anyone was going to bring home an alien pet, it would be Tony. “We practice you keeping that alive and move on from there.”

Though then he nearly choked on one of the spicy little peas at Tony’s last comment. “We weren't… I mean, Nat and I didn't exactly…” Well, this was embarrassing. “We never really were together, so to speak!” He finally protested. “We just… Steve said she flirted. I guess I was flirting back, to be honest.” Months of working closely together to perfect the lullaby had led to lots of time together. Lots of very personal time. It could only be expected.

"I'm holding you to that," Tony mumbled, before Bruce could start protesting over the Nat thing. It sounded an awful lot like parents getting a kid a fish to teach them responsibility before letting them get a dog. But that was fair. Tony would be the first to admit that he was often a lot like a child. He could own up to that.

Then his eyebrows raised, and he squinted at his friend, "Okay because it sounds exactly like you two were more than friends, however far that ever went. You know she asked about you while we were on the station? Pretty sure she still cares and stuff. It almost sounded like she was lonely. Legal hardly ever voluntarily speaks to me, so that was pretty weird."

Great. Now he was going to have to actually find an alien fish. And learn how to care for one. And then probably sneak it on board. He really had been hanging out with Tony for too long. A younger Bruce would never have broken the rules or snuck around. “I'd rather have an alien cat, personally. Whatever the equivalent of an alien cat is.”

Despite himself, despite Natasha’s protests that she just wanted him to be happy, he felt the guilt loud and clear. “I...cared for her. I still do. I probably could have loved her if we'd been given the chance.” But there was, in the end, Betty to consider. “I think Nat is learning that she can have friends and still be a top agent. It's not something she's used to. Save Clint, of course.” That was a friendship none of them would even dream of stepping between. “Maybe she wouldn't be acting like this if he were here.”

"Yeah, maybe. I don't know, her motivations are like... how do you even guess those. When I first met her she was Natalie Rushman from the legal department, she'd been shadowing me for like, I don't even know because I don't keep track of what HR does. Maybe I should have been. And now we find out she's got the serum, or whatever? Too sneaky for me. Not here for it. But she was all sad that we weren't more together. And like - what are we gonna assemble for? Taco night?" Tony asked, shrugging his shoulder. He bit into the cake pop, and chewed for a few moments while his mind knocked various things around. Betty was definitely a consideration and Tony felt like she was a better choice, too. Better for Bruce in general. But then he'd always disliked the fact that Nat's job required her to lie.

That wasn't something he was prepared to get over any time soon, though he'd still have her back in battle where it counted. They were team mates after all, sometimes even friends. Just not the close kind. Maybe he could wish Nat happiness too, but not with Bruce.

"I mean, maybe you could have made it work. I don’t really know the circumstances but I feel like me and Pepper were always doomed. She wanted me to quit the superhero act, and that was never gonna be a thing for me. Betty's good for you. I'm super shipping it, I hope you two make it work. Like, sincerely. Also - space cats might be better. Don't they basically take care of themselves?"

This? This was why, even when he was being dragged into some hare-brained scheme or another, Tony Stark was his closest friend. For one, that rambling train of thought was a treat to follow in itself. And for the other, he looked out for him. “She's amazing, Tony,” he replied, regarding Betty. “She's hardly changed at all. Still the hardcore scientist with a girlish little giggle and those eyes…” And he sounded like a schoolboy with a crush. In some ways, he hasn't changed, either.

“We couldn't have made it work. I left. After everything with Ultron was settled, I apparently took off. On the run again after… Well. After.” On the list of subjects he didn't want to talk about, Africa was high on it. Not unless they were on a photo safari looking for elephants or something. “Pepper might have adjusted. Eventually. I like her, don't lose that.” Though he could understand. Tony needed to be true to himself. Becoming Iron Man, helping save people, it had really helped him come into his own. Why would he want to give that up? “You two are pretty happy when I come from. Though she'd definitely say no space cats.”

Listening to Bruce talk about Betty made Tony grin in one of those warm, genuine ways that precious few people in his life ever got treated to. But Bruce was being adorable, definitely like some teenager who was falling in love for the first time. He nodded while he devoured the rest of his cake pop, and then reached for a handful of peas. "Space cats? She wouldn't even let me have a space fish. We had a talk one time about pets and it kinda boiled down to. Tony, no. Tony, I'd end up taking care of it. Tony, you'd never let it in the lab and you know it. And like... I mean, she's not wrong. Good to know we're still doing well in your time, though."

Except that it suddenly made him feel guilty for all of his antics here on the ship. That made him frown a bit, "Kinda wishing I'd lived through all this so you two wouldn't have to carry all this weight yourselves. But I doubt Pep's ever gonna be gone from my life completely. She gets me, she runs my company, she was a good friend before we tried the relationship thing. Maybe if I can get my act together. Sometime after all of that stuff, anyway. Since... obviously still don't have it together at that point."

He paused, and added, "I don't know why but I've always wanted a pet crawdad. They're cool and really smart."

“I could see you with a dog,” Bruce amended, trying to give his friend a bit of a cheerup. The last several moments had gotten far too serious for sneaking illegally into emergency areas. “I mean, sure, I'd probably be the one walking it. Or you'd create a robot to do it. But a loyal little terrier that follows you around the lab. Makes press appearances look better.” Laughing, he shook his head a little. “Even the Other Guy would probably be all besotted with it.” It had taken a long time for him to accept his other half. A lot of that acceptance had been because of Tony.

Which did remind him. “Oh! One thing Natasha and I worked on...aside from the flirting thing, I mean. We found a way to bring me back. After… You know.” It felt odd that Tony didn't even know that much. He'd been so supportive and Bruce knew he still would be. But these things took time, especially with weird timelines to contend with. He was grateful Natasha was there and that she was after a point from where they'd learned that handy trick. He desperately hoped it was never needed. But there was always that chance.

“Crawdads have intelligence?” Okay, so that comment had taken him a minute to come back to. But it wasn't his fault. Tony had just made the world's most random statement, after all. Even a genius like Bruce was bound to have a hard time keeping up.

"Maybe I could even get one of those little bags to carry it around with me everywhere," Tony joked. The mental picture of a neurotic, adorable little terrier running around his lab after him, though, was too great. He grinned so wide that his eyes scrunched up, "I'd have to accessorize him of course. And you're right, he'd totally need a robot to walk him. Because I definitely wouldn't trust that to DUMM-E. You could take him around places, and we could have like. I don't know. Joint dog custody or something. Then we can let him out and use him as an Other Guy disarming tool. In case that other thing you worked out with Legal doesn't... work out."

He paused, mainly to catch a breath, but also to dig out some dried blueberries. "And yes, Crawdads are SUPER intelligent, you can even teach them tricks. But do you know how the thing works? Whatever it was you two worked out. I mean, I don't really think we need to worry about it up here."

Tony gave Bruce that look that he always gave his friend when he was being a hundred percent sincere, and clapped his hand over his heart. "I'm not worried, I can't state that enough. But just in case. You never know what crazy stuff is gonna happen out here."

It was true that the Other Guy could be persuaded to take over. What if he was sensitive to tribbles? This was a whole new environment for them both. Really, he was lucky He hadn't been the one to greet the team on arrival. But he felt pretty good. More in control. “I've been thinking about asking the crew… I mean, they know, don't they? They must know.” What if they didn't? What if they found out and found a way to get rid of him to save the ship? And maybe they were right to.

No. He couldn't be thinking like that. That got him into trouble. Took him to that dark place he'd fought so hard to get out of.

“If there were a room, a safe space to let Him out now and then, He'd be easier to work with.” He understood what Tony was asking. How the Lullaby worked. Why it worked. And sometimes Bruce asked himself the same thing. “I think it's repetition,really. We call it the Lullaby. Something soothing, something the Other Guy can focus on.” And even now Bruce could admit Natasha had a sultry, soothing voice.

The crew definitely had to know, at least some of them. Tony knew the reason why that was, and while he tried to mentally wrap his head around the way in which to tell his friend this information, his eyebrows rose up into his hairline. He nodded his head, the expression on his face unchanged, as Bruce explained how the Lullaby worked. Then his eyes darted off to the side, and he poured himself more to drink.

Tony's mouth opened, then it shut, then it opened again, "So they- OKay I don't know how to tell you this because me and delicate matters aren't really. You know. I'm not subtle. I'm sitting in the Lounge one night talking to this woman that I know from a television show I watched in our universe. And she tells me that in hers there's movies about us."

He knocked back half of his drink while making a gesture at Bruce to indicate he had more to say, then continued. "I haven't watched them but she said they were pretty well done. Then I go and look it up and the movies are based on comics? Of us? But only loosely, like they’re two different universes. Then I get to talking to this kid from a universe like ours where there's a Tony like me only I'm his mentor, and I'm pretty sure he's from those. So like - yeah. They probably know about you. Do you need a minute? Take a minute. Have some blueberries."

Bruce couldn't help it. He started laughing. And yes, he did take a handful of blueberries, because it was Tony and he pretty much did whatever his friend suggested. But he couldn't help laughing. “I assume you mean Peter Parker?” That much, at least, he'd figured out on his own. “We've met. We're friends in his world. Took me having no clue who he was surprisingly well.”

The rest he'd have to think on. Initially, sure, it was hilarious. Overall, though? “I guess I'm not that surprised, really. I mean… You have an army of robots. I survived a mass amount of gamma radiation at the price of a green monster. We've got friends in their nineties who look younger than us.” Finally, he relaxed. He exhaled and grinned, shaking his head. “We're on the Starship Enterprise, Tony. If all that can be possible, of course we're comic book characters. And frankly, Batman, I'm the better Bruce here.” Even if Tony was way more like Bruce Wayne than he was.

Still, he chewed a few blueberries thoughtfully. “But that would have been hundreds of years ago, for the crew. Surely we didn't make that much of an impact. Not even Steve could be that important.” Which took them back to square one. Did he mention it? If nothing else, McCoy needed to know. Needed to learn what was lingering in his lab.

"Star Trek's been on TV for decades and none of us are forgetting the older series, right? And Cap was famous in our day even though he started out ninety years back. I mean my dad never shut up about him. It's probably narcissistic as fuck but I'm me and I'm thinking at least some of us are gonna become legends at some point. It's not like we forgot about George Washington or Zorro or anything." Tony shrugged a shoulder. He was glad that Bruce was taking this so well, but really was there any other way to take it? As big a nerd as the two of them were, it all just had to make sense.

"And... yeah. You ARE the better Bruce. I'd take you over the goddamned batman any day. That guy has issues. And what's with the voice? Everyone knows he's Batman. But yeah, Peter, I'm apparently a mentor of his and gave him a place to live at my tower or something. Told him I'd be more than happy to be his friend, even though I guess for a while we were fighting. Something about superhero registration. Still, if you're worried, we could tell Bones about it."

He shrugged again, then put on his more serious face as he picked up another cake pop. "I'm not sure what any of us could do if your greener side came out to play, aside from get Legal to sing to you. But if she's not around, I guess they should make a game plan. If they have one, we need to know what it is. We can help them fine tune it. But I don't need them thinking up some wild scheme like injecting you into space. I need my science bro. Plus that would only piss him off."

He couldn't help it. Though he knew why it needed to be discussed, Bruce couldn't resist the cold chill down his spine at the turn the subject had taken. What, exactly, would happen? The Hulk didn't take kindly to being pushed around, but Bruce also didn't want his new friends (or the old ones, for that matter) in any danger. “The force that brings us all here… It really should have chosen someone else. Me being here isn't safe for anyone.” Not even for him.

Still. Maybe if he stepped up. Made it obvious it wasn't what he wanted, either. Had Tony to help him. “Had we started working on Veronica, when you came from? This isn't really the place for something like her, but if we have a game plan ready to go, maybe ours will trump theirs. Whatever theirs might be.” He didn't want to be ejected into space, floating around until they ran out of oxygen. For all his testing he was pretty sure even the Other Guy couldn't survive that. Then again, his physiology was entirely different.

Suddenly, the cake pops and blueberries and Tony’s other various snacks didn't look appealing in the slightest. In fact, he was feeling a bit nauseous. An entire city in Africa still weighed heavily on his mind. “I wonder if the superhero registration Peter mentioned is the Accords Nat was talking about.” It was sad when a divide between the Avengers was the easier topic for him.

Oh boy. Tony still had the cake pop in his hand, but he hadn't taken a bite of it. To him, the subject of the big guy wasn't as big a deal. He didn't hate the Hulk, he respected what the big guy was capable of. But Tony hadn't lived through some of the stuff that Bruce had lived through, and he realised that the shift in mood meant he'd gone and stepped in it. Or something. Maybe a foot belonged in his mouth instead of a cake pop, at any rate.

He cringed a bit, "I uhm... Yeah, maybe shouldn't have gone there. I only talk about this stuff 'cause I care. Admitting that I care. But I think we were working on something before I ended up here, things in their initial stages. Maybe that's Veronica. But look."

This wasn't comfy. He put the cake pop down, and folded his hands together. "Bruce, I get that we're men of science and that it's hard for men of science to believe in a higher power or whatever. But obviously something chose us to be here, for whatever purpose. We should probably worry about why that is. Why us. But you're here. I needed you here, maybe it's my fault. You don't get to sit there and hate yourself for shit that's not your fault. I'm not having it. Okay? So - right, let's talk about this thing Peter called 'Civil War'. I guess where he comes from they wanted the superheros to take their masks off and sign up with their real names. Lots of us ended up on either side of the road on it. I was pro-registration but I'm Tony Stark, I don't have anything to hide. And apparently comics me is all about transparency, too. What's these Accords?"

It helped. Not that he'd say as much out loud. Getting emotional probably wouldn't be in his best interest. But knowing Tony was on his side was definitely helpful. Just knowing he was there, the way he'd always been, helped soothe his frayed nerves. And he had Nat, complete with her willingness to help him. Both sides of him. And, for better or for worse, he had Betty. The people he trusted had seen both sides of him and were still willing to be there. And that was huge.

Pun not intended. “I guess I can forgive you. For needing me and all.”

“The Accords sound like that. Nat says Ross - because some idiot made that man Secretary of State - wanted us all to sign. Thor and I weren't there but the others were torn. You were pro-Accords. Steve was apparently very much against them. It sounds exactly like what Peter is talking about.” So there was a link between their comics and their films. And why, exactly, did they have comics and films? As much as he'd love to pretend he was ready to accept that, it was still weird.

Tony had no answer for why, other than that some people some where were obviously getting entertainment out of the screwed up story that was their real lives. But he also liked being famous. He liked the idea that somewhere, someone still thought he was a legend. That they all were. "I know a lot of stuff I do isn't really forgivable but I hope that at least is," He said, with a smirk.

It quickly faded in the wake of the rest of the news, though, because now they were back to more serious things. Like the Avengers splitting up over something that was still looking like kind of his fault. "That's a great idea for Secretary of State right there. He's never been big on the super heroes, but I guess that's why you'd want a guy like that in charge. But it does, yeah. Sounds exactly like it actually. Kind of sucks that you weren't there for that but I can't see you being into the idea of signing something along those lines anyway."

“Oh, he was into ‘superheroes’. He just prefers ones he can create and control.” It actually took him a few seconds to control the rage he felt bubbling inside of him. Thaddeus Ross would never be the Other Guy’s favorite subject. Not that he was Bruce's favorite, either, but one of them had a bit more control. “You'd think after Harlem, no one would ever give that man power again.” He visibly shuddered. “And to think he was very nearly my father-in-law.” Which was a thoroughly disgusting thought. Betty was so different from her father it was almost scary. Like she went against the laws of genetics somehow.

He had thought about the signings a lot since Natasha had mentioned them. Shrugging, he reached for a cake pop. No reason to risk wasting them. “I would never support anything that man proposed. Nor would I allow him, or any other government body, control the Hulk. Not like He'd let them control Him anyway.” The very idea was laughable. Telling the huge angry being when He could and could not attack. Sure. Good luck with that one.

“To be honest, I'd love to see them try and tell Thor he had to sign some agreement controlling when he could help others. Can you see his face?” The King of Asgard under question by basic bureaucracy? Not likely.

"I mean I can picture it, and it's kind of hilarious and also dashingly handsome, because Thor always is." Tony said, tilting his head off to one side. He recalled the talk he and Sauron had about guys on the list, and Thor would have been on it. Assuming that he was aboard, which he wasn't.

"But no, I get what you're saying. No one's telling the Hulk what to do anyway, I mean he is literally the 'I do what I want' Meme. And when you put it that way, it's got implications that like - I mean I stopped some amazing science breakthroughs right at my doorstep because they could be too easily weaponized. So... I'm just sitting over here trying to figure out why I thought this was a good idea at all. And then people actually agreed with me, which is... weird. Totally weird." Tony said, while picking his own cake pop back up again. He bit nearly half of the thing off and started chewing, while mentally debating if he should talk to Nat about these Accords or not. Did he really want to know? It sounded bad enough without the details, really.

“Your raging man crush on Thor is a little disturbing, you know?” The words were teasing, though. Anything that might maybe get Tony to smile. This conversation somehow kept fluctuating between hilarious and devastating. Bruce would have preferred the former but then, who else could he really talk about the latter with? “Maybe I should tell Loki. Now he makes up the ‘I do what I want’ meme.” Though Bruce hadn't actually talked to the man yet. Maybe he never really would.

He chewed thoughtfully for a moment before it hit him. “Ultron. You still felt guilty about Ultron. If you'd been regulated, you might not have let yourself go through with it.” It seemed a fair assumption. Though Tony did make a great point. “Our government does have a tendency to take a great invention and weaponize it to the point of ruin.” His expression was a little sheepish. Bruce himself was a prime example of that. Trying to replicate and improve on the invention that had created Steve in his current form and look where it had gotten him.

Tony sighed, "You start with an idea..." He said, quoting himself from some earlier point in his life. Not MUCH earlier, but the recent things he'd lived through were just exactly an example of where good ideas and the best of intentions lead.

His mind looped back around to the subject of Loki, and though earlier in the month he'd had panic fits over the guy being aboard, this mention made him smile. "Yeah, I hear the Other Guy slammed him around and called him puny. I think if you ever do end up talking to him you should lead with that, if only so we can see if he pisses his pants with fear. Because let’s face it, making a god piss himself is funny."

A tiny smirk crossed Bruce's face. “I sincerely doubt a Loki who hasn't even met me yet is going to be overly concerned about the Other Guy. Or even believe me when I say it.” He did like knowing they were defended if it came to it. Sometimes it sucked, knowing he couldn't have a basic fight without Him fighting back. But sometimes it was, essentially, awesome.

“None of it matters now, though, Tony. Here and now. We're not back home.” Nat was the only one of them who knew details about the in-fighting. No one knew where he was. None of those things were a comfort to him. But they had to be. There wasn't anything else they could do. “I wonder… We could do some research. See if these...comics, if they exist in this world. Even archived somewhere.” It was odd thinking of spending a shore leave studying up on their history. Especially when he could be dragging Betty around to see all the sights again.

But maybe it would give them all some peace of mind. “And if they don't, then I really do need to come clean with the staff here.”

"Oh I know the comics exist, because I looked them up," Tony admitted, though he didn't look entirely enthusiastic about it. "There are... like... tons. Too many to really read all in one night, even if you're me. And the plotlines don't match up, they twist and turn and get, frankly, ridiculous in spots. There's scans of them you can find. But I'd need a gigantic whiteboard and a week to make any sense of everything that goes on in them."

He popped a few blueberries in his mouth, and made a series of faces while he chewed on them. "I think the movies are too, but I didn't look for them. Didn't want to know, you know? Root said they picked the perfect guy to represent me and I'm sure he's handsome enough, but it's not like anyone can really replace me." And if his life was really just a movie and the movies weren't just representations of actual events... well he didn't think he was ready to really think about that. Not fully, not even knowing everything he could about the multiverse theory.

"So the real question is - have they seen them. Any of them. And I have no clue. Kirk doesn't seem like the comic book type. I bet he spent his teenage years causing trouble and chasing skirts, and it's not like you can expect Spock to be up on anything besides classic literature." Though it would be insanely funny if they learned that Spock was an 'Ancient Earth Comic Book' geek.

For a moment, Bruce really did have to just sit and stare at Tony. Of course he wouldn't have been able to contain his curiosity. Of course he would have looked up every bit of info he could find about them. And he wouldn't be surprised if the man hadn't begun reading the vast archive.

But that was more than he wanted to deal with. “Spock wouldn't. He couldn't. Though what if… No.” The idea was too odd. “Scotty, maybe. No, Chekov. He's really young in this timeline, maybe he used them to help him learn English.” That was a much easier train of thought to deal with than the possibility that, on learning what he was, Kirk would leave him at the nearest planet. Habitable or not.

“Besides,” he amended, sipping at his drink, “of course movie you is going to look like you. Wouldn't he? Dammit, Tony, this is too confusing. Why do you do these things?”

"Hey - you asked questions, I'm not about to go lying to you. Remember like... I don't what was it twenty minutes ago now? Where I talked about how much I dislike liars? You were gonna find out at some point, when someone on the crew accidentally made a reference, or you started talking to Peter more, or hell - anyone else that's here from another time that also has comics. It was just a matter of time. Thinking - better you learn from me. Then we can get through it together." Tony said, while shrugging one of his shoulders. Maybe he'd learned a lot from the events that had gone on with The Mandarin, but he was still sometimes unabashedly a dick. In all the well meaning ways.

"I could see Chekov reading them." He added, after taking a few seconds to chew on a wasabi pea. "You don't have to think about it right now. I know you've got a gigantic genius science brain in there, but just don't think. Go all zen with me. We can pick up yoga or something. It sounds boring and like we’d have to pick up eating weird things like wheat germ and chia seeds, but the flexibility is always a good benefit?"

“Just don't make me wear yoga pants,” Bruce replied with a laugh. It was a ridiculous concept and yet he felt a lot better for it. “Remember when we first met? You asked how I was keeping it together? Yoga was one of your options.” Which wasn't too far from the truth. Meditation was absolutely still a part of Bruce’s daily routine. In fact, he credited it with his current relationship with the being who lived inside of him.

“Wheat germ isn't that bad. Also, space smoothies. That fruit salad we get at breakfast sometimes mixed with yogurt.” Okay. Fine. They'd never be fitness gurus. For one, he didn't have Steve's metabolism. The supersoldier could eat a few thousand calories and not show it. Bruce wouldn't be so lucky, he was sure. And he wasn't getting any younger, either.

The idea did make him laugh, though. “I want to see Betty's face when I tell her I can't explore the ship with her because I have yoga lessons with Tony.” Shaking his head, he gave a sheepish grin. “If she stays with me after that, I'd be an idiot not to find a ring on the next planet we dock at.”

"You'd be an idiot not to, anyway," Tony pointed out, with a grin. He liked all of Bruce's parts equally, but this side of him was still adorable. "Your entire face lights up when you mention her, you know. It's super cute. Have I mentioned that yet? Anyway, space smoothies are way better than drinking chlorophyll for months. That sucked, and trying to stay healthy after that sucked worse. Fruit and yogurt all blended up together? That's a party. We can swing that. Plus, Yoga. I'm thinking - that's a thing now. We're gonna do Yoga together. Wait til Nat hears, we might even get her to laugh."

The tips of his ears burned red. “Bit early for that, don't you think?” Yet his mind drifted to a previous ring. One he'd bought and carried with him, waiting for the time to be right. It was long gone, sold to buy his way out of the country. The thought made him a bit sick. Tony’s comment about him being cute, however, did not. That just made him blush. “Shut up.”

Yoga with Tony and Nat. If Clint could see that he'd never stop laughing. “I think she already has us beat in flexibility. And most other things fitness related.” This was not the “Avengers Assemble” he thought they were prepared for. “Are we dragging Steve and Barnes into this, too? Did you want to invite Loki?”

"What? No. Nat isn't invited either, I just thought it'd be hysterical to tell her we were doing it. See if her face changes at all from that stupid all knowing smirk she's always wearing. That woman needs a good laugh. All russians do." Tony said, while scrunching his face up again. He didn't even want to think about having to watch Steve outdo him at Yoga while his scruffy little friend watched.

"This isn't an Avengers thing, it's a Science Bros thing. And Loki isn't invited to our reindeer games. Like. Ever. I extended an olive branch because it's like. This is a large ship, but I don't know if you've noticed, it's not getting any bigger. Kind of getting smaller."

Definitely getting smaller. Even smaller the more new people showed up.

"But it's not early, no. When you know, you know, right?" He asked, while staring at Bruce like he was awaiting the answer on baited breath.

Oh, of course, how could he have been so ridiculous? Bruce couldn't help laughing, shaking his head as he did. “We're not telling her because she'd want to critique poses or posture or...whatever else is involved in yoga.”

Olive branches sounded good in theory. But he couldn't help wondering if this was another one of those Tony ideas that backfired. What happened when they put trust in the man and he stabbed them all in the back? And the Other Guy didn't do betrayal well. Then Bruce's nightmare would come to life. Not his favorite thought.

No. Betty. Betty was definitely his favorite thought. “How would that even work?” He wondered out loud. “Ship weddings? Or do you wait till the next docking point? Did Castle and Kate end up moving in together?” As far as Bruce could tell, they didn't get much say in their room assignments. Was that different for married couples? “Besides,” he amended, trying to get his mind off of the very real possibility, “she and I have a fairly big hurdle to get over.”

"Ship Captains totally have the authority to marry people, I've seen it on Star Trek all the time," Tony confirmed, with a nod of his head. But that second question, he had no idea. It was possible that Kate and Castle really didn't have a chance to move in with each other, and that was just... weird. Definitely strange, right? Though if it was him he'd probably be happy he got to keep his 'bachelor pad'.

"Well, I mean... true. Not wrong. But still, it's a good thought for future times, if we're still stuck here. Better than thinking about other stuff while hiding under a computer console and pretending to breathe into a paper bag." Which he'd just said aloud. He blinked a few times and then asked, "Did you hear something?"

Maybe it was time to go.

That was true. And being married by Captain Kirk might actually be their little nerd dream come true. It was something to consider, Tony wasn't wrong about that. But he still thought maybe easing back into dating first might be the smartest way to go. They could take their time. There was no rush. Now that they had each other back and all. And they'd get through that other not-so-little issue, too.

And then he heard it. “Tony… What's going on?” No, he hadn't heard anything. Not in the ‘someone was coming and they were going to get busted’ way. But in the ‘his closest friend had maybe just admitted more than he'd intended’ way.

"Uh, nothing. Nothing's going on. I just thought I heard a thing. A noise, like people were creeping in the jeffries tubes." Tony pointed in the general direction of the tubes, which... there were more than one set of anyway, so his hand ended up circling around a bit. "Like, security. Time to go?"

He looked at Bruce, though, and could tell that his friend was not going to let this go. Bruce was definitely the opposite of Queen Elsa in this department. Well actually he was a lot like Queen Elsa, except for this particular part. And Tony could feel his lungs starting to constrict, like the room was suddenly too small and he couldn't breathe, because there was no escaping this now that it was out there. "Can we just... lets relax about this."

“I'm entirely relaxed,” he pointed out. “You, on the other hand... “ If he really believed Tony had heard someone coming, he'd have been the first to hightail it out of there. But he didn't. Something was going on and his friend very clearly needed help.

He didn't want to force him to talk. He really didn't. But… “Look. You make me talk to you when something's wrong. When I'm getting pretty down on myself. For god's sake, Tony, let me do the same. Let me try and help.” Sometimes Tony was the only one who could get him to talk. It was only fair for him to reciprocate when he could.

"Okay. Alright. Okay. That's fair." Tony said, and took a big gulp for air. Breathing, that was the key. Deep breaths, like into a paper bag. His brain was running through a talk he'd had once with Harley back in... wherever it was he'd crash landed. He forgot. There'd been a lot of snow and a lot of crap to deal with and the bigger issue was that he probably needed medication. He hated medication, but he probably needed it.

"So sometimes I get this - I'm gonna just - You ever feel like you're suffocating and it's even worse because you happen to have carried a gigantic nuke up into space where your suit wasn't designed to go so you run out of air and suffocate there and then fall to your death only your best buddy saves you thanks best buddy but then every single time after that it's like-" And Tony stopped rambling at that point, instead making a series of hand gestures that no one was designed to interpret.

Bruce listened patiently. Having a friend, having someone who listened to him, was still new. But listening to others, oh, that he was good at. Ages of being on the outside looking in meant he knew how to listen. Which meant he was probably more qualified than most to interpret those peculiar hand gestures.

Finally, Tony’s voice drifted off and he smiled sympathetically. “Actually, yeah. I do know that feeling. It's just when it's at its worst for me, He takes over.” And that was a negative for just about everyone. “You've lived through some really horrible stuff, you know? And you're a hero for it, but that doesn't make it easier to deal with.” They saw a lot in their line of work. They did a lot, too. He knew Natasha still suffered trying to erase the work of the Red Room. He knew without question he hadn't had a sound sleep in about a decade. It stood to reason that Tony and the others would be in the same position.

“Have you talked to McCoy at all? I'm sure with all the medical advances, especially with all Starfleet has seen lately, there has to be something that could help you.”

"Well that's-" Tony had closed his eyes at one point so that he could picture himself somewhere else. Possibly in a place where there was no Space at all, somewhere he felt safe. Like Bruce's office over in the Avenger's tower. He was right, though. Bruce was right. They probably all had their problems. "Kind of feel like an asshole now for just having some mild panic attacks. But that's pretty big motivation to kick this thing's ass."

If it had been up to him, no one would have ever found out about this. No one else, anyway. Pepper's reaction has mainly been to remind him how big of a pain in the ass he was to be in love with. It was saying something when a 10 year old you just met could be more supportive than your own girlfriend. But now that Bruce knew, at least he knew he wasn't alone. "Good talk. Think I'm good now. And I mean. No. No, why would I? It's not that big a deal. I think we should still talk to him about you though, maybe they can try something we just didn't have access to."

Bruce rolled his eyes at the desperate attempt at changing the subject. “First of all, you're not an asshole. I mean, sometimes you are, but not for this. Not at all. Panic attacks aren't something to scoff at.” That squeezing in your chest, the rush in your head, and then the inability to breathe?

“Secondly, there's no shame in talking about it. Troi is here now, too. She's a counselor, this is what she does. Let her help.” The look he gave Tony was stern. Yet that trademark compassion was in his eyes. “I'll make you a deal. You talk to...someone. Anyone about all this. I'll talk to the staff. Admit what's going on with me. See if they have any ideas.”

And then if he got banished from the ship, he could just blame Tony. He liked that idea.

"FFFfff." It was the internationally recognized sound of Tony trying to make light of something that was actually probably a big deal. Not that Bruce didn't already know it, and obviously his friend wasn't going to be dropping the subject anytime soon. Plus, at least someone who actually knew him was finally aware that he had a problem, which was... huge. Maybe he liked it. He wasn't sure.

He held out his hand, so that they could shake on it. "Alright. I'll talk to Bones. Maybe he can help. At least he'll be aware, since... that's probably something I should have declared on the 'working in high pressure areas' form. But you better talk to someone too. And not in that self-defeating 'you'll all probably hate me and punt me off the ship' way, but in like... a science 'here are the facts let’s solve problems' way. Deal?"

Bruce wanted to brush off the ridiculous request. But then, maybe he was right. Not that he'd say that out loud. Tony was impossible when proven right about things.

Still, he accepted the outreached hand. “Yeah. Fine. I'll bring it up to them. But if they kick me off, you have to be the one to tell Betty. And I'm warning you, she's scary when she wants to be.” It was something to consider, though. The idea that maybe, in this new scientific age, there might be something he hadn't seen before. Some cure looming in front of him.

"Hey, I faced Loki and the Space Whales - that would be an amazing band name." Tony blinked a few times at the tangent he'd just went off on, then got back on track and shook his head. "I can face an angry Betty. But I won't have to, because it's all gonna work out. Though on that note, we should probably get going before either of us loses our nerve."

And with that said, he started picking up the remains of their impromptu picnic. Because if he didn't go right then to talk to Bones, he knew he never would. And he didn't want to be a liar or break a promise he'd made to his buddy.