InsaneJournal

There was a faint beeping somewhere above his head as he slowly came to. James Barnes- no, Bucky, the voice in his head insisted- remained still, eyes closed. What was the last thing he remembered? He'd been traveling, trying to remember more about the life he had before. He remembered DC, the exhibit with his face plastered on the wall- at least, he was pretty sure that was his face. Things had been coming back to him, however slowly, and while he wasn't sure he was still Bucky Barnes, he was more Bucky these days than the Soldier.

There was movement in the room around him, voices speaking quietly, seeming to take a log of something. Vitals? Statistics? His eyes flew open, a hand grasping the wrist held nearest him tightly, and it took every ounce of his willpower not to start thrashing and flying into a rage. Everything seemed too bright, too white, too..

"Who are you?" he asked, trying to take in his surroundings. He was trying to remain calm, but his voice came out louder than he'd probably intended, more panicked. "Where am I? Are you HYDRA? I ain't letting them take me back, I swear, I'd rather d- somebody answer me-"

Peggy was still new to figuring out how to best acclimate new travelers to the new century and being on a space ship. So she was usually called as soon as someone arrived, and she dropped everything to get down to the med bay. When she arrived this time, she made it through the door and a few steps over to where two nurses were huddled next to a man whose voice had raised in a barrage of panicked questions. She brushed her hair out of her face and hurried over, nodding to a security officer stationed along the wall to let him know that she was fine right now, thank you, because the man wasn’t even on his feet yet.

As she got closer, her brow furrowed because he looked familiar, but she couldn’t quite place him. But at the word HYDRA, she stumble-stepped. She frowned.

Bucky nearly shoved the nurses over in his scramble to his feet when the doors opened again, and he stepped back, backing right to the wall. His gaze swept the room, blood rushing in his ears and he knew this was wrong, that this had to be some sort of set up. But it was nothing like anything he'd ever seen before, and he'd seen a hell of a lot in his time with HYDRA. At the sight of the new arrival, Bucky paused, something about the woman striking a chord.

"You- what the-" His hands came up, fingers pressing to his eyes. Name. What was her name? He knew her from Before. Shit. "Carter."

He remembered her smiling, the way she'd looked at Steve. The way Steve had looked back, the whole thing making something in Bucky's chest tighten, ache with something he didn't know how to describe at the time. "I don't know who set you up to this, but this isn't funny. You're not- this can't be real."

Peggy had met travelers from all different times and places but never before had someone whom she knew showed up. Someone who was meant to be dead, who had disappeared. Who - “Sergeant Barnes?” she snapped, her tone more harsh than she meant it to be. She chastised herself and shook her head, taking a deep breath. Her eyes went from his face - he looked terrified - to his stringy hair and down to his arm, which wasn’t an arm but silver - was that metal?

She stayed where she was but jutted her chin to the nurses to step aside. “This isn’t HYDRA,” she said in what she hoped now was a calmer tone.

"Like I'm suppose to just believe that," Bucky started, though his shoulders slumped a little as she snapped at him. "And I ain't a Sergeant anymore. Haven't been one in a long, long time. What is this place? How did I get here?"

A long time. Peggy was confused. She shook her head and tried to clear her mind. “I need you to relax,” she said, holding a hand out but not moving from her spot several feet away from him. “James,” she said, dropping the sergeant. “Bucky.”

She smiled lightly. “It’s a little unbelievable, honestly,” she continued. “But this is the future. The year 2264, to be precise. And we’re on a space ship.” Peggy held up a hand. “Bear with me, please. There is some kind of spacial rift pulling people here. I’ve been here about two weeks now.”

Bucky winced as she held out a hand, and he instinctively made to step back, but couldn't move any further into the wall. The future? Again? In space. He stared at her, trying to make sense of everything. "You've gotta be kidding me. I've seen some- no. Space? Really?"

Peggy nodded slowly. “Yes, really, space. And HYDRA’s not here. The war’s not here. We’re lightyears away from Earth.” She swallowed and glanced over across the room. “I can show you, if you’d like.” There was a small alcove off of the med bay that she was hopeful would turn into an office soon enough, and there was a window that looked out into space as they traveled through it. She found, personally, that seeing it with her own eyes had been only step one to understanding what was happening.”

"You swear it? That they're not here?" Bucky wanted to believe her. Somehow he knew that she wasn't one to lie, not about the important stuff. Sure, she'd worked undercover and things like that before, from what little he could recall, but he figured he'd probably have to trust somebody around here and she seemed to be the most likely. He hesitated a moment, but relaxed a little in his stance, though he was still pretty self conscious of his metal arm.

“I do. I promise they aren’t here. We’re centuries in the future, and HYDRA doesn’t exist here.” Peggy tried to work through everything she knew about Sergeant Barnes up until his death. He hadn’t looked like this or had a metal arm. No, she thought, those questions could come later. “This is the starship Enterprise,” she explained. “It’s part of Starfleet, which is an arm of the United Federation of Planets, a peacekeeping alliance and organization of many planets in the known universe. Starfleet is somewhat military, it’s true, but its mission is exploratory and scientific. You’re safe here.”

Bucky felt a little like they were trying a little too hard to convince him they were safe. But centuries into the future? How was that possible? He frowned a little bit. "So it's all bigger than earth. What- how..? I still don't understand."

Peggy rubbed the side of her neck. “I still don’t understand the how or the why either, unfortunately. But it’s my reality - and yours now too - and I’m muddling my way through it as well as I can.” She smiled a little bit. “And I’ll do anything I can to make you more comfortable.”

Bucky watched her for a long moment, then nodded again. "I- yeah, I suppose that's all we can really do." He was quiet for another moment, glancing to the nurses, then looked back to Peggy. "I think- there's maybe some things I should tell you. Just..in case."

That surprised her, but she nodded at him. “You can tell me anything you need to, Bucky,” she said carefully. “Why don’t we go find a comfortable place to sit and I’ll see about getting you a room assignment and your network and ID and everything and while I do that, you can tell me anything you want to tell me.” She smiled at him and gestured over to a section of the medical bay that was quiet, where she could take out her PADD and start the process of getting him settled.

Bucky knew there was a chance they'd lock him up for good, but he knew he had to start somewhere. At least he had some memory of Peggy, of everything she'd done for Steve and the Howling Commandos during the war- if he could trust anyone here, it would be her. He nodded a little as she smiled, moving to take a seat where she gestured to. "So, um. As you can see, I'm not really the guy you probably remember. When I fell- HYDRA found me, took me, and turned me into their plaything. It's- well. Long story short, it wasn't fun, they made me do a bunch of stuff I don't like to think about, and it was seventy years of doing what they wanted or being put on ice. Things..well, things happened and I got away, but it's still not all..I mean. I know how to take apart and reassemble dozens of types of weapons and I can still hardly remember my own mother's face. There's nightmares and a lot of stuff I don't react well to, and I just- I'm trying, but there are still some mornings I wake up and don't remember where I am or how to speak English."

As someone who prided herself on being able to take care of more than one task at the same time, Peggy found it remarkably difficult to do so now as she listened to Bucky speak. With her PADD in her lap, his profile open, she lost focus on it and instead watched his face as he spoke. “You were brainwashed,” she said quietly, her eyes narrow. “I’d heard rumors about what HYDRA was doing, and there had been a few developments since the war, but nothing like what you’re describing.

She pressed her lips into a thin line for a moment, her gaze flickering over into the rest of the medical bay. “I don’t know if it would work, or if you’d want to, but I’m sure Dr. McCoy and his staff here might be able to help. Or - do you know - is there something that means one day is different than another for you? Do you think that’s something that might be missing from here?” She hoped so, though she knew she would also do anything that she could to help him, now that he was here.

"Yeah. Brainwashed." Bucky swallowed heavily, shaking his head. "I- maybe. I don't know- I don't even know what all they did to me. Cut me open, gave me this arm, made me forget everything about who I was, everyone I ever cared about. There's a trigger- a series of words, set to switch me back, but I don't know that I remember them, not until they start saying it. But unless HYDRA shows up, I don't think anyone here is gonna know what they are. I just- I don't wanna be that again? But I don't really know how to be anything else. Not yet…"

Peggy met his eyes. “Then let’s think of this as a fresh start for you, Sergeant Barnes,” she said with a twitch of the corner of her mouth. “I’ve been treating it as such, so you should too.” She bent over the PADD and tapped in a few things with her fingertips, still trying to get used to using something as futuristic and high-tech as this and not a typewriter. “You get a new start to figure out who you are. How does that sound?” And she would make sure she monitored for new arrivals with a HYDRA connection as well. Just to be on the safe side.

That was it? Bucky blinked in surprise, but nodded. The rank still didn't sit quite right, but he wasn't going to correct her again. "Yes, ma'am," he agreed, fidgeting a little again in his seat. "And- Peggy? Thank you."

“You’re welcome,” she said. She took a PADD from the stack and handed it to him. “As long as you don’t get into any trouble here,” Peggy said, “then there’s nothing to worry about, all right? All the ship’s rules and regulations are here. Just - steer clear of doing anything wrong, and you’ll be fine.” She didn’t understand everything he was talking about, though she knew how bad HYDRA was. He was confused and in shock, which she could understand considering he woke up here, but as far as she could tell, he wasn’t going to start hurting anyone. He hadn’t yet, and he would have had ample opportunity to. Her heart thumped a bit and she swallowed. “There’s also a ship’s map and your room assignment.” She glanced down. “What luck - the two of us are next door to each other. So if you need anything … you know where to find me. Would you like me to show you around or do you need a minute?”

Bucky hesitated for a moment, taking the PADD and looking down at the map and room assignment. "I'll try not to," he promised. "I think I need a minute. But soon, maybe- maybe you could show me around. Just- can you- if things go south for me, would you- just take me out? Please?"

“Of course,” Peggy said. “Take all the time you need. No one will bother you here in the med bay.” She smiled and then it turned into a frown at his next request. Her eyebrow arched. “I hope you're not asking what I think you're asking me,” she said. “Because there won't be any need for that to happen here.” Her tone took on one she hadn't used in a while, not since the war (though sometimes it had slipped out while around Howard).

"I-" Bucky gaped a moment. He'd forgotten that tone, but it knocked a few memories back into place as she used it. He nodded. "No, ma'am. I suppose you're right."

“Good,” Peggy said with a firm nod. “We're on the same page.” She gestured for him to relax. “If you need anything, please holler. I'll be around.”

His cheeks flushed, but he nodded, sinking into his seat. "I will. Thank you, Peggy."