InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Hello again"

Lady Mary Crawley (ladycontrary) wrote in toboldlyrpg,
@ 2017-04-16 21:31:00

Entry tags:

! enterprise, ^ log, mary crawley | downton abbey, natasha romanoff | marvel comics

WHO: Mary Crawley and OTA
WHEN: 226404.16, late evening
WHERE: Observation deck
SUMMARY: Mary can't sleep
WARNINGS: Probably none

Her second conversation with Lucifer since sleeping with him had not gone how she had planned. She had hoped at that point that they might be able to make up and move on, but it seemed like that was going to be more difficult than she had expected. Mary was quite used to thinking that she had no feelings, even if she knew that was a lie that she told herself so that she didn't get hurt. And what do you know? She was hurt.

Not hurt over any sort of wanting to be with Lucifer. She didn't. But she still liked him quite a great deal, and it hurt her that sleeping with him had seemingly ruined their friendship. That was the last thing that she wanted. Were they really going to have this hangup now? She felt like such an idiot, like such a woman and that made her mad.

Him telling her to keep her distance had been what had upset her most. She had cried in her room after that before getting ready for bed and trying to sleep. It wasn't happening. After an hour of tossing and turning, she pulled on her kimono robe and left the suite to wander up to the observation deck.

It was one of the most beautiful places on the ship, with colorful swirls of nebula floating past. Mary found it relaxing and she hoped that it could be a place where she could sit and think for a while. She curled up on one of the couches and watched the cloud-like clusters of stars out the huge window. From here, she felt engulfed by it.

If she laid there long enough, she would probably fall asleep and be found by a very confused person at the end of the sleep cycle.

[ooc: feel free to find her still awake or having already fallen asleep.]

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Natasha.Mary

redledgerkiller
2017-04-16 10:04 pm UTC (link)

Natasha rarely slept. And when she did, all she had were nightmares. So, sleep for her was about three hours, tops. She was use to this pattern. So, with her lack of sleep she would venture out her room. Natasha really didn't have any shame in how she looked, but she also knew walking around in barely anything wouldn't go over well with certain people. So, she made sure to place her robe over her frame.

Bare feet brought her to the observation deck, as she came to look to the vast night sky. That is, until she found a sleeping woman on the floor. A brow had kinked up, as she knelled beside her and touched her shoulder lightly. A means to wake this one up. A light shake was given to help wake her up. "Hey.." She said as she noticed the women waking up.

"You fell asleep." She stated as she brought her hand back from the woman's shoulder.

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	ladycontrary 2017-04-16 10:13 pm UTC (link)
	Mary woke with a start, at first confused as to why she was out on the observation deck and not in her bed. Then she remembered and immediately felt embarrassed. "Oh..." She laughed slightly. "I can't believe I feel asleep out here. How foolish." Mary sat up and moved back onto the couch. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	redledgerkiller 2017-04-16 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	"It's not a bad place to fall asleep at." She replied as she came to move towards the large glass and look out to the stars and black skies all around them and this ship. "I'm Natasha." She replied as she glanced back towards the woman who now moved towards the couch to get a better seating. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ladycontrary 2017-04-18 06:18 pm UTC (link)
	"Mary," she replied, too groggy to respond with her title and full name. "Forgive me for the state I'm in." Her hair and clothing were mussed and she was still getting reaccustomed to the light on the deck. Mary rubbed at her cheek. "Do you often walk around at night?" (Reply to this) (Parent)

shovekirkwall
2017-04-17 07:44 pm UTC (link)

Marian knew she was still connected to her magic and the Fade somehow, if only because of her dreams. Nightmares plagued her dreamscape, recalling things she'd lived through in agonizing detail. It didn't help at all that she knew and had faced the demon who was responsible for it. In fact, it only reinforced the knowledge that a friend had been lost. Stroud could never have faced that thing alone. Things with Lucifer had only made it all worse.

At their worst, Hawke would end up feeling haunted and unable to shake them, and times like these she ended up wandering the ship. The observation deck was a good place to get lost, all of those stars floating by. Usually at this hour the place was empty, and so when she entered and discovered Mary sitting there, she was caught off guard.

Hawke straightened out her own bathrobe and nervously ran a hand through her hair, then walked over, noting Mary was still awake. "Bad dreams?" she asked, lightly.

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	ladycontrary 2017-04-18 05:29 am UTC (link)
	Mary wasn't even sitting so much as she was curled in a ball on the couch in a very unladylike manner. She straightened up when she heard Hawke's voice, removing her feet from the couch so that the other woman could sit. "Not yet, considering that I couldn't get to sleep at all." Her hope had been that watching the swirling nebula would finally relax her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shovekirkwall
2017-04-18 08:45 pm UTC (link)

Hawke was usually the type to stand at the window and stare out, but she noticed Mary making the space for her and decided it would be rude not to get comfortable.

She curled up on the space provided, a little less lady like than Mary, though people from Thedas still liked to toss that label at her at times. "I have nights like those. Other nights my sleep ends up feverish and restless. I often come up here to clear my head... so I'm sorry if I'm disturbing you, actually. You probably wanted to be alone."

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	ladycontrary 2017-04-19 06:54 pm UTC (link)
	Mary shook her head and sighed. "No, it's quite alright. I haven't had much luck getting to sleep out here either. I've too many... thoughts swirling around my brain." Like just how much of a mistake it was the sleep with Lucifer, how much their friendship was ruined, what it said about her that she had jumped into bed with the devil himself... (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-20 12:03 am UTC (link)

"I've got a bit of that, myself..." Marian trailed off, and hugged her legs up to her chest. "Mainly my past catching up with me, most of the time. This time, a little bit of ship troubles too."

Lucifer had told her that he and Mary had slept together, and that things had been awkward since. Marian didn't know how to ask her if that was troubling her. It seemed like a very private matter, and she didn't want to be rude.

"I did a thing... well, I allowed myself to enjoy a thing, that I desperately needed, but I'm not sure the price was worth it."

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	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-20 08:19 pm UTC (link)
	She laughed a little a that, possibly due to being so exhausted but still unable to sleep. "Funny, that sounds very similar to what I did." Almost exactly. Mary didn't want to bring up Lucifer directly because she felt like she'd told too many people already. Soon the entire ship would know her business and she hated the idea of that. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-20 10:20 pm UTC (link)

"Of course it doesn't help that the man in question's personality resembles that of a prickly porcupine, constantly on guard to protect his rather squishy insides," Marian mused, chuckling a bit herself.

It was good to hear Mary laugh. Though the two of them came from very different worlds, Marian still remembered the talk they'd had when she'd first showed up. Both of them had been out of their element and there was common ground there. In a place like this, people with common ground had to stick together.

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	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-20 10:39 pm UTC (link)
	Mary eyed her rather warily. That description sounded like Lucifer, though she supposed it could be any number of men on board the ship. Would Mary be surprised if Lucifer had slept with Hawke? Not particularly. "I thought that all I wanted was sexual satisfaction. It turns out I was wrong." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-21 12:57 am UTC (link)

Hawke rested her chin on her knees, and then nodded it in place. Normally she'd have bothered to put on the charming facade of someone who was unperturbed by life, but late night chats like this were for other emotions. So instead, she let out a long sigh.

"It does tend to feel rather empty the next morning, sometimes. It was like that with another lover of mine, Fenris. Our first time together was incredibly emotionally charged - you think something like that's going to lead to something more. I think sometimes I'm a bit foolish because I keep repeating the same mistakes. I have a friend, Isabela, who romanticizes the idea of jumping from bed to bed, the freedom of whisking away the next morning with no strings attached. It sounds nice in theory but I think I fail at the execution of it."

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Mary and Hawke

ladycontrary
2017-04-21 05:37 pm UTC (link)

Mary nodded along, understanding exactly what she was saying. "I think I have failed at that too, though this was my first experience trying it. The last time I had sex out of wedlock, I was being courted by the man at least. It still meant much more to him than it did to me, but he did not try to make me feel guilty afterwards." She sighed and focused on the window for a moment before speaking again, her voice quiet. "And he was willing to hold me."

Lucifer had held her a little bit because he knew she liked it, but he'd generally resisted her desire to cuddle after their sex in favor of gloating about the fact that he'd gotten her into bed in the first place.

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Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-21 05:57 pm UTC (link)

"He didn't even hold you? What a lout," Marian said, her face scrunching into a frown. Her own night with Lucifer had gone a bit differently, but if there'd been any cuddles to be had, they'd both silently agreed never to admit it. Still, the lack of it taking place on Mary's end bothered Hawke on a very basic level. "Perfect gentleman he is not. Especially if he's gone and guilted you afterwards."

Hawke knew very well what kind of place her own issues with Lucifer would be if she confronted him on his treatment of Mary, but she wanted to find him and punch him in the face repeatedly now. "Fenris... did hold me. But then when I awoke the next morning I found him dressed and ready to leave. He decided then that what we'd done had emotionally compromised him and he was loathe to do it again. Or even stick out a relationship with me. But he never guilted me. He didn't even leave town or stop following me around on errands. He just... sat there, behind me, fighting along my side, watching my back like a black shadow with a rain cloud over his head."

Hawke frowned, "At the time it was insufferable, but now I think that's almost preferable to the way things with Lucifer have turned out." And then she darted her eyes off to the side, because the name was out there now.

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Mary and Hawke

ladycontrary
2017-04-21 06:13 pm UTC (link)

"Well, he did," Mary admitted, "for a little while. Then he grew tired of it. He seems to think I have grown 'attached' to him simply because I wished to discuss what had happened between us. He'd like to make me the problem, but I know that I am not."

She listened to Hawke speak about the man from her home, relaxing into the couch as she told her story. When Lucifer's name came up, Mary was alert again. So she had been right.

"You also slept with Lucifer? I wonder if it was before or after I did. Not that it matters, really."

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Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-21 06:52 pm UTC (link)

"Oh I definitely don't think you are," Hawke agreed, with a sad smile and a nod. But yes, it was better that they both knew what was going on. Lucifer had been an asshole to Mary as far as Marian was concerned, and while she thought she better understood his motivations towards her, he'd been an ass to her as well.

"I did... and I'll admit that he did come to me to tell me that he'd slept with you, too. Only I didn't want to just... that's not really a way to start a conversation. And I wasn't sure that's what was troubling you. But he's been an arse, and now I'm beginning to wonder if he's... pulling a Fenris. He came to me a few days ago seemingly worried I'd be upset about you and then wondering why it was we hadn't spoken since. I didn't know how to tell him I was trying to avoid making things emotionally complicated between us, and in the process of trying to lighten the mood he decided to accuse me of playing games with him."

She paused, and then added, "I think we struck a nerve, both of us. But that's his problem, not ours."

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Re: Mary and Hawke

ladycontrary
2017-04-21 07:40 pm UTC (link)

"I think you're right," Mary agreed. "I've had a lot of time to think about this. This is about him and his detective. He feels guilty and he wishes to pass it on to us."

It was unfair. Mary also felt like he'd goaded her into sleeping with him and was now acting like it was nothing. It was obviously something to a woman like her. When she really thought about it, it made her angry.

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Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-21 09:47 pm UTC (link)

"It would definitely make sense. He mentioned her - well, he did more than mention. It's clear that she's a large part of his previous life. He probably does feel guilty." Hawke said, nodding her head.

She thought back to that night, and the fact that he'd called her over there just to explain the situation with Chloe. Neither of them could have predicted where that lead, and thinking about it just made her chest ache. She winced, "I tried to pretend it meant nothing, mainly for his sake, though a little for mine. I wish I could say that was true. But it isn't, and now it's eating away at me. But I really do want to punch him. The way he's handled it all is infuriating."

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Mary and Hawke

ladycontrary
2017-04-22 03:05 pm UTC (link)

"He's in love with her," Mary said simply. "That was his excuse for not wanting to sleep with me earlier, apparently. Now it appears he's decided that their relationship is hopeless, so he's going to sleep with whomever he wants. There's nothing to say that she cannot arrive here. Look at Kate and her husband." It was entirely possible. Maybe that was what he was really worried about.

A smile crossed her lips when Hawke mentioned punching Lucifer. "If you decide to do it, may I be there to watch?"

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Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-22 07:18 pm UTC (link)

That was the worry for a lot of them, and it was certainly a worry of Marian's. The idea that one Chloe Decker would show up here, or that Lucifer would be sent away. Or that Fenris would make an appearance and complicate things further. Even the idea of her being sent back was just a little too much to deal with. Hawke nodded her head in agreement with Mary, though, because she'd gone right to the heart of it.

Those thoughts were dark and impossible and the things that were keeping her awake at night. She shook them off and instead tried to picture punching Lucifer in front of Mary. That made her grin. "Perhaps I can get him in the mess hall some morning. Splash his coffee all over him in the process."

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	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-22 07:30 pm UTC (link)
	Mary rested her head against her knees. She didn't worry so much about Matthew showing up, because he was dead. If she really thought about it though, that was always a possibility. She laughed slightly. "Oh that sounds lovely." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary and Hawke shovekirkwall 2017-04-22 07:39 pm UTC (link)
	"He always hates it when his clothes get all mussed. Coffee makes stains that are hard to get out, he might even have to replicate new." Hawke liked this idea, though she wondered how much trouble that would get her in. "They might put me in the brig for it, but I suppose it would be worth it." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-23 07:38 am UTC (link)
	"For a punch? Probably not. Besides, it's not as if he can die." Not that Mary wanted him dead, but that bit of information was still annoying. She smiled at Hawke. "Thank you for sitting down and talking to me. I feel better that someone understands so... literally." Since she had slept with Lucifer too, Hawke might be the only one who could truly understand. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

Mary and Hawke

shovekirkwall
2017-04-23 05:31 pm UTC (link)

It was incredibly annoying to Hawke, too, in some ways. The part where she couldn't even bruise him. There'd be no point in punching the man unless it really did involve splashing something all over him. That would be the only way it would have any impact. But at least she couldn't ever accidentally harm him with her magic.

Hawke returned the smile, and nodded her head. "I think it was just as much for my benefit as yours, honestly. The whole thing has been haunting me and it really is good to get your perspective on it. I may even be able to sleep tonight."

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	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-24 11:35 pm UTC (link)
	"Good," Mary said. "I'm glad to hear that. I think I might as well." The fact that he had told her to keep her distance from him still bothered her, but she would make her peace with it eventually. Mary stood up. "Shall we go back to our rooms?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary and Hawke shovekirkwall 2017-04-25 12:03 am UTC (link)
	"Why don't we just sit here for a while? The view still does have a calming influence and I'm not quite ready to head back, myself." Marian was comfortable where she was at the moment, and the nearby company meant she was more likely to stay that way. Though if Mary decided to head back to a nice soft bed, she could hardly blame her. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary and Hawke ladycontrary 2017-04-25 12:15 am UTC (link)
	Mary thought about that for a moment and then sat down again. "Alright, if you do not mind having my company," she said. Sleep would probably still be a while coming for her, so she could sit for a little while longer. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	Mary and Hawke shovekirkwall 2017-04-25 12:28 am UTC (link)
	"I don't mind at all," Marian replied, smiling. In some ways, sitting there in the dark together, she was reminded of nights she'd sit up with her sister. It was a welcome feeling, and a steadying influence in general. (Reply to this) (Parent)