InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "And I'm rollin down the line"

i_shot_first (i_shot_first) wrote in toboldlyrpg,
@ 2017-04-05 16:50:00

Entry tags:

- deck five lounge, ^ log, han solo | star wars (legends), leia organa | star wars

Liquor, talking, and Awkwardness with My Not-Wife
Who: Han and Leia
What: Drinks and talking after Leia's canon update
When: Day of or after the update
Where: THe bar
Rating: I hope PG, but if it changes, I'll update.

Han sat sipping his drink while he waited for Leia to meet him for the talk they'd agreed on. He was still thinking a lot about how she'd seemed to him when they talked on the network. SOmehow, his counterpart had died, obviously, even though she had been unwilling to talk about it just yet. The whole thing just seemed unfair. Their lives had been chaotic, but somehow, the other version had been that much worse. It almost seemed as though little had changed from the younger days.

He'd been through a lot in his day back home, but it had been restricted to torture, kidnapping and that brief time in the Spice mines...he'd never come too close to death since the whole carbonite thing. He did know, though, how devastated his Leia would have been to lose him, and it was easy to see this Leia felt the same way.

He also kept thinking of how different their very family could have been, their very lives together. Despite the challenges of constant kidnap threats, angry imperials, and all the stuff Luke had dealt with as a Jedi, they'd made it through, had a family, and seemed only to be growing stronger. And yet, his counterpart and that Leia hadn't been so lucky.

He couldn't hope to understand all of what she'd been through, but he was still Han basically, and he was still going to be there for her any way he could.

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mirrorbright
2017-04-05 06:47 pm UTC (link)

When she agreed to a drink with Han, Leia hadn't accounted for how she would feel when she saw him. She walked into the Deck 5 Lounge and spotted him right away, but rather than go over to him immediately, she slipped along the edge of the room to the bar and ordered a shot of something - anything - strong. She held it in her hand, her fingertip running along the rim of the glass as she turned to look at him from across the room. Her heart felt too full, tight in her chest. She wasn't any good at relaxing or calming herself, much to her brother's dismay, so she did what was most natural to her: she threw the shot back, squared her shoulders, and practically marched over to wear Han was sitting.

The alcohol burned her throat and went straight to her head - maybe she shouldn't have asked for something quite so strong - but it did its job; Leia wasn't thinking of her husband's death when she saw this Han, here, in front of her.

"Han," she greeted, sitting opposite him. She couldn't help but touch his hand, briefly, where it was holding onto his own drink, just to make sure that he was real.

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i_shot_first
2017-04-07 02:39 pm UTC (link)

Leia didn't wast much time getting a drink, he saw. His Leia never was one for a lot of hard stuff, although she didn't mind having a drink with him at time, or at the social functions she had to attend. Usually, if things got rough, he was the more likely one to drink a little too much. At this point, though, he didn't blame Leia, based on what seemed to have happened.

He felt an all too familiar shiver run through him at the touch, and it made him realize just how much he already missed Leia, his Leia. He didn't expect that he'd lose too much control and do anything he'd regret, but his heart rate did pick up a little, involuntarily.

"Leia..." he replied. It was hard to know just want to say at a time like this...there wasn't anything that could magically fix things, that was for sure. And he didn't want to say what was obvious...she wasn't ok or doing too good. "I'm here" was all he could think of right now.

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mirrorbright
2017-04-07 02:47 pm UTC (link)

She folded her hands on the table to keep herself from reaching out to touch him again. Despite the fact that he looked like her husband, that they had some shared history, that he was Han, this man wasn't her husband. No matter how much she wished that he was. Leia lifted her head and met his gaze. "He died," she said in a dry tone. "That's what I remember." She remembered a lot of other things, Ben's turn, the massacre of Luke's younglings, the rise of Kylo Ren in the First Order, the destruction of the Hosnian system. "Among other things," she said, rolling her shoulders and sitting back in the stiff chair. She brought a hand up to rub it across her mouth.

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	i_shot_first 2017-04-07 03:40 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm sorry...I suspected it from what you said, but...it's still hard to hear. You've been through way too much..." He could tell there was more, but he didn't want to push it. "You don't have to talk about anything you aren't ready to or don't want to." he said. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mirrorbright
2017-04-07 03:45 pm UTC (link)

Leia started to shake her head. "No, it's - it's just part of something that didn't get talked about a lot," she admitted. She and Han saw each other so little, and when they did, their conversation always tended toward Ben, but outside of the two of them - and of Luke - and now Rey, there weren't many people who know that Ben was now Kylo Ren. She realized as she took in where they were - on some starship in a galaxy far, far from their own - that it didn't matter who knew. And this was Han.

"I thought he could bring our son home," she said quietly. It was her fault. She shouldn't have pushed Han to go off, gave him false hope that he'd be able to turn Ben back to the light. "I thought he'd be able to get through to Ben, but -" And she hated, beyond anything else, admitting this. "I was wrong. I wasn't there, but Chewie, and Rey -" And Finn. "They told me what happened." Now her tone changed, went detached, like she was giving a debrief or a mission report. "In all my worries, all my nightmares about it, I never imagined he'd kill his father."

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i_shot_first
2017-04-09 03:06 pm UTC (link)

Han was very surprised by that one. His twin, being killed by his own son? The expression on his face was a mixture of sadness and worry for his own family. The kids seemed so normal now, but...what would his future bring? Would his kids resist the pull, or would one or more of them be lost? He didn't think he could handle that.

"It's not your fault...if he's anything like me, he probably couldn't do any less than to try and do whatever he could to save his son." he said. "I know I would." he said.

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mirrorbright
2017-04-09 04:24 pm UTC (link)

It was her fault, and she almost, by habit, started to argue with Han. She snapped her mouth shut before she told him something that might disappoint him or that she might regret. Han didn't think that Ben could be saved. It had been her that convinced him to go. Of course, she didn't know his mind, couldn't read his thoughts. Maybe he had been acting more realistic instead of having the hope that she had. And then what happened to that hope besides it being taken in a heartbeat away from her. "Well, whoever's fault it is, it happened. I lost both of them." She wished she'd thought to get another drink, but she hadn't wanted to drink anything else too quickly.

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i_shot_first
2017-04-10 05:13 pm UTC (link)

Han felt kind of helpless, really. He wanted to badly to comfort her, to help her through this, but he didn't know how. He was never good at handling grief, though he didn't know yet, show up in a few years when Chewie died.

"I feel so helpless...I mean, there's nothing I can say, nothing I can do. I want so much to do *something*, but I don't know what. It's so unfair...my family and I seem to come through things intact, and things go all to kriff for you."

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	mirrorbright 2017-04-11 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	Leia shook her head. "It's nothing I expect you to do about it," she told him bluntly. She motioned for a bartender to bring her a drink - she wasn't picky what it was - and leaned back in her seat, her gaze unfocused toward the table. "I find it interesting to think about where the difference was exactly, between the life you led and the life I led." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	i_shot_first 2017-04-12 04:12 pm UTC (link)
	"Well, if there's anything I can do, still let me know." he replied. He'd still gladly help if he could. He nodded in reply to her second comment. "Me too. Between our lives...between the other Han and me...the your Luke and ours." he said. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

mirrorbright
2017-04-12 04:49 pm UTC (link)

"I will, Han, thank you." Leia took her new drink from the bartender and sipped it slowly, considering for a moment what else she should say. "You've spoken with Rey," she said after a moment, glancing over at Han from over the rim of her glass. She cleared her throat, feeling her face get a little warm, though she hoped it was from the liquor and not because of anything else. "I think it's best if I just be up front with you about her, about - well, Rey's my daughter. Breha is her name. It's a long and complicated story -" Well, not that complicated but did Leia want to into it exactly? Not necessarily, though she'd answer anything that Han asked her. "She was kidnapped when she was young and it's - a miracle, really, that I've found her here."

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i_shot_first
2017-04-14 03:39 pm UTC (link)

Han told himself not to judge; he had no way of knowing every detail of the story back home. His Leia wouldn't cheat, he was sure of that. But who knew what had happened after his counterpart left? He looked a little surprised, but didn't say anything angry or judging to her, and definitely not right now.

"Does she know?" he asked. "You know, she does remind me a bit of Jaina. Maybe it's good that both of you were pulled in here, then." he said.

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	mirrorbright 2017-04-14 03:46 pm UTC (link)
	Leia nodded. "Yes, she knows. We've spoken about it already. She spent most of her life alone, not knowing where or who her family was, so I'm - very thankful that she can be here now." She looked over at Han, trying to determine how to interpret the surprise on his face. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_shot_first
2017-04-19 04:52 pm UTC (link)

Han tried to keep sincerity in his eyes despite the surprise. "I won't judge, I promise. You don't need that." he said. He nodded. "Maybe something good will come out of being stuck here, at least. And it's better for her to know...I managed all right growing up without mine, but sometimes, I still wish I'd know about more than just my cousin...and him I'd be fine not knowing about."

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	mirrorbright 2017-04-20 09:27 pm UTC (link)
	"Having Breha back is already good enough for me," Leia said quietly. She breathed out evenly and took a long, slow sip - gulp, really - of her drink. She reached out and gave his hand a pat. "I'm sure this is all a bit much for you to listen to me go on and on about. I'm sorry." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

i_shot_first
2017-04-21 03:27 pm UTC (link)

"It's all right" Han replied. "Right now, I can't really say I blame you. You're going through a lot." he said. "Honestly, it's hard to say who had it worse. I had to fight Palpatine for my youngest...he cloned himself. Kept jumping from body to body, but they weren't strong enough.He wanted our youngest. Luke was already fighting him...I just took the last shot. But I wasn't going to let him take Leia...my Leia...and my son." he said.

"Not to mention a few other run-ins...sometimes it seems like even on our side, we're lucky to be where we are now."

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mirrorbright
2017-04-21 04:29 pm UTC (link)

Palpatine. Now there was a name she hadn't heard in ages. She shook her head. "That sounds just as bad, really," she said. "I don't know. I guess I always thought that, after Endor, it would be - better. When we got married and had Ben, it felt like nothing could change us and then - well, the universe went to hell all over again." She finished her drink, her head pleasantly fuzzy. "After Ben - well, after he turned, there was little hope left. I did everything I could with the Resistance, but it felt like I was fighting the exact same fight I'd always been fighting. Just - alone this time. Luke was sith knows where and Han was -" How odd to be talking about Han to, well, Han. "I don't even know."

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