InsaneJournal

Luke was fully aware that he'd frustrated Leia earlier, but the conversation with this alternate Han didn't really seem like the place to start an in depth on Rey.

The young woman fascinated him. She sparked with energy, physical and Force-ful. She clearly had no love for Kylo Ren (although Luke had to admit, no matter what he told Leia, he would find it very difficult to ever forgive his nephew for what he'd done). She also had more enthusiasm than he'd ever seen as a student. Her natural ability and sensitivity was incredible, and he was genuinely looking forward to helping her find her potential.

But, Leia has questions first and, quite frankly, so did he. After he'd found some dinner, we walked to the cabin next to his and knocked.

Leia knew Luke had arrived before he made his presence known. It had been some time since she let her guard down Luke this and opened up to the Force. But he was her brother and she had always been better about it around him, even if she insisted she wouldn't let him train her. She was a politician, a radicalist, maybe, not a Jedi.

She opened the door and motioned for him to come in, then returned to where she had been sitting, an untouched glass of whiskey on the table beside her. "I hope you don't turn around and leave just because you decide I'm not in any better of a mood," Leia said dryly.

Luke shook his head and took the seat across from her. "I just didn't want to go down that womp rat hole on that post from Han, that's all. And I think this is better to do in person anyway." He nodded to her glass. "Will you take a drinking buddy?"

She gestured to the glass. "Be my guest," she said. She had taken one sip before setting it down, her tongue bitter with its unfamiliarity. She missed Han's whiskey, and a glance at her PADD had made her push the alcohol aside.

"So what did you find out from Rey?" Leia asked, getting straight to the point and not wanting to think about Han. Oddly, thinking about Rey, though she knew Rey had a history with Han in their future, didn't make her think of her husband, whether the one she knew or the alternate one here. Maybe that was because thinking of Rey have Leia a worrying sort of hope that she was Breha, and Breha's connection to Han was only through Leia, and a prickly subject at best.

Luke took the glass, letting a long sip flow down his throat. It wasn't especially smooth, but he welcomed it anyway. "Her Force sensitivity is unlike anything I've ever seen. The lightsaber did really call to her. She let me hold it and I could tell the weapon had no loyalty to me anymore. It was a strange feeling. Her visions were much like my first—dark, preying on her fear, judging how well she handled the pressure. And they were all focused on herself and our family."

He swallowed, pausing for another drink. "I probed as gently as I could and I—I think it's safe to say she's Breha."

The air stopped somewhere in Leia's throat, almost choking her. How many years ago was it that she had been alerted that her daughter had been kidnapped? How many years had it weighed on her, not knowing if she was dead or alive or alone? Leia had had to put it out of her mind, otherwise the pain and the guilt would have consumed her in a dangerous way. The only way for her to cope was to tell herself that it was punishment that Breha was taken, punishment for her betraying Han and giving in to a way out of her own demons and loneliness. Maybe that was melodramatic, but it didn't change the fact that Leia had done those things and then lost her daughter.

She shook her head and cleared her mind as best as she could. She breathed out evenly and looked at her brother with a pained expression. "I know it," she whispered. "I didn't want to believe it, but ..."

"I know," he said with a nod, taking another drink. "Leia, I hate to ask, but I don't know the whole story. I know who Breha is, I know how and why it happened, but then what? She was abandoned on Jakku and when she told me about her vision memory of that moment, I could feel her heart breaking. What actually happened?"

Leia sat back and spread her hands out on the table, taking a deep breath. Her fingers clenched a little before relaxing. "What happened when exactly?" she asked. Han had taken her pregnancy remarkably well for someone who could do the simple math to know the baby wasn't his. He didn't abandon her, though she expected him to. Not even when Breha was kidnapped.

"Han was off planet, I don't know where. I had meetings and the Senate was in session. Breha was young enough that she was still minded by caretakers during the day. I was commed just before dusk that she was missing from our apartments. That's ... there's not much else besides that," she said. They had put out the call, searched far and wide, Leia was willing to pay any ransom asked for, but it never was. For too long of a horrifying moment, the thought of which still made her sick with guilt, she had confronted Kes about it. Of course he had had nothing to do with it.

Luke nodded, spinning his glass on the countertop. "Okay. Just—the way you talked about it to me it was hard to tell if the official story was the actual story or not. But maybe that was just general guilt."

He leaned back and took in his sister. He could see the pain, the regret, the fear. He wished he knew how to help, but in reality, he had next to no control on his own emotions, and that was part of the reason he'd stayed in hiding for so long. "I guess the next question is—do you want to tell her?"

Did it matter what the official story was versus what actually happened? Leia shook her head, her thoughts and memories jumbled together, blurred.

When she spoke again, her voice was barely audible and hoarse. "I hate that everything surrounding her sometimes is overwrought with guilt," she admitted. Guilt that she'd strayed. Guilt that she hadn't protected her daughter. Guilt that she had other people, her husband included, lie for her. Guilt that she couldn't find Breha and had determined that she never would.

A moment and then Leia nodded at her brother. "Yes," she said, "I want to tell her."

Luke smiled and nodded. "Good. I think she'd like to know. Be genuinely pleased, in fact." It was a guess, of course. And she would have lots of questions. But she didn't carry the same resentment that Ben did, the same darkness. She was brightness and hope, and he couldn't imagine that changing. "And I'll help however I can."

Leia breathed out again, so hard she almost laughed with it. "If we had to, I'm sure this ship has the technology to tell us for sure," she said, though she had a feeling it wouldn't come to that. If Rey was as strong in the Force as Luke said, even untrained as she was, as Leia, really, was, that might be enough.

"I don't think that's necessary, Leia. Reaching out to her, understanding her feelings was far too easy for her to not be family. I think it's up to you to decide what should be next steps." He finished off his drink but kept spinning the glass on the tabletop.

Leia watched the glass spin for a moment as she considered his words and then looked at her brother. "Stop that," she said quietly. "You're making me dizzy." A half smile and a shrug.

"I'm going to talk to her," she said. "You're right. She will have a sense of it too, I'm assuming. I just - I can't keep quiet about it." Even if it brings up a lot of questions by Rey, more feelings of guilt for Leia, and more complications with whoever the hell this Han was.

Luke pulled his hand away from the glass and left it alone. "Good. And you shouldn't. And I'll be here if you need me."

Leia was quiet for a moment before lifting her gaze and looking at her brother. She had always felt their connection, and she was glad it was just as strong here. She reached out and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Luke."