InsaneJournal

WHO: Illya Kuryakin and Rogue
WHEN: 2265.01.15
WHERE: His room
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: Illya and Rogue talk about the events of the previous day and the conversation that he had with Gaby. Complete gdoc.
WARNINGS: None.


In all honesty, a part of Rogue was wishing right now that they were anywhere but stuck on the Enterprise. Talking about the scientists showing up had reminded her that she had nowhere to run, and that she was essentially trapped on something of a very fancy prison. She’d had a few moments of panic in her room, one hand clutching her PADD as she reminded herself that even if Colonel Wraith did arrive on the Enterprise, she could easily get a phaser and kill him. Seeing Illya’s words about doing the same was a comfort, and the thought of him facing off and killing Wraith did a lot to calm her down, to the point that she had eventually been able to leave her quarters and head for his.

As she reached the door, she pushed aside the mental distractions and shifted her thoughts instead to what Gaby had told her, and what Illya had said. She had questions, of course, and she felt a little more nervous than she probably had any actual right to be, but at least Rogue had headed towards Illya instead of away. Running had been her MO for too long before she’d arrived on the Enterprise, and she felt like now she was doing better in that area, at least.

Pressing the pad outside his door to ping him and let him know she was there, she absently twisted her bracelet with one hand, eyes focused on the door as she waited, determined to try to put aside her insecurities and just spend some time with him.

Illya had screwed up massively, something that he was very aware of. What had followed was a series of painful conversations, and he knew that he had one more to take care of. He sighed deeply before letting Rogue into the suite.

He wrapped his arms around her once she was inside, glad to be holding her again. Leaning down, he laid a kiss on her lips, then brushed his fingers through her hair. “Hello, malen'kiy,” he said softly.

The nice thing about Illya being such a giant was that any time he held her, Rogue felt safe and warm. When she found herself immediately tugged into his arms, the remaining tension in her shoulders melted away and she lifted her own arms to return the embrace. She smiled at the kiss and returned it lightly, then let her smile warm more while she met his gaze.

“Medved,” she replied teasingly, before moving onto her toes so she could nuzzle his chin with her nose. “I know you were in the brig for just a night, but you’re acting like you haven’t seen me in weeks. Not that I’m complainin’, of course.”

“A night without being able to touch you was very long,” he said, pushing a piece of her hair behind her ear. After giving her another kiss, he motioned for her to follow him. “Come. I have made borscht. Would you like to try some?”

He had originally made it because Solo was sick with headaches, but it had ended up being more of an apology gift since he had been such an ass.
She smiled again at his words - because if there was one thing a girl who couldn’t touch people grew attached to, it was sweet words, and even with the magical jewelry she still appreciated them very much - and followed him towards his bedroom.

“Yeah, you mentioned that once, right? I’d love to try it. Like I said before, I’ll try anything once, and you already know I’m a fan of different kinds of foods.” Illya hadn’t yet made anything she didn’t like, after all.

Illya brought her over to the small table they had in what served as a kitchen. It really was a replicator with a stove and refrigerator. Not much, but he’d been able to make all of the ingredients and then make the borscht. He pulled out two bowls and began to spoon some of it out of the large pot he was keeping it in. “It has a bitter taste to it, but hopefully you will like it,” he said. “If not, I will not be offended.” Illya was pretty aware that it wasn’t for everyone, as much as he went on about how good it was.

Rogue lightly dropped into one of the chairs and watched him with interest - mainly because she liked just watching him do things. “I’m sure I will,” she replied, giving him a smile. Once he brought the bowls over, she dipped a spoon in and ate a little, pausing after the first taste to take a moment to consider it, absolutely for his benefit. Grinning over after she swallowed, Rogue dipped her spoon in again.

“It’s pretty good. Not sure what I was expecting, but I like it.”

Illya thought he looked awkward doing most things since he was so tall. His limbs seemed too long, which was why he hated running or dancing. “Good,” he replied to her assessment of the borscht. He sat down next to her and began eating his own bowl of soup. “Do not do anything that will get you sent the brig. It was very boring, and being stunned was not fun either.” It mostly felt like his whole body had gone numb and he was slowly coming out of it. His hand had tingled for a good two hours.

She gave a faint chuckle at that. “Don’t worry, I’m not planning on it.” Since he was beside her, she set down her spoon and snagged his hand to see for herself that he was okay, brushing her fingertips across his knuckles. “You doin’ okay? I know you punched Napoleon, but punches can tend to hurt - or at least they do when we’re training and I try to hit you.”

There was a slight pain when Rogue ran her fingers over the bruises on his knuckles, though nothing that he wouldn’t get through. Illya had been through a lot worse injuries before, after all. “I am fine,” he replied. His pride and his emotions were far more bruised than his hand. Illya reached to take her hand in his, turning hers over on the table and putting his on top of it. “That is because I am made like a brick wall,” he teased a faint smile on his face.

She nodded when he said he was fine, but that didn’t stop her from pressing a light kiss to his fingers before he took her hand, and she grinned, linking her fingers with his on the table. “True enough - you’re all solid muscle.” Leaning into Illya a bit, she nuzzled his shoulder with her cheek and grinned again. “Luckily, I like that about you.” Her free hand snagged her spoon and she started in on the meal again while letting her other hand stay caught beneath his, content to enjoy the touch.

“There are many things that I like about you,” Illya replied. That just made what they had to talk about all that much harder, even if he knew that he couldn’t keep his and Gaby’s conversation a secret from her. Illya took a deep breath. “There is something that you need to know, Marian. A conversation that Gaby and I had when I was in the brig.”

She faltered, just a little, when he mentioned talking to Gaby - she’d never gotten around to asking her twin how she’d known Illya was in the brig, having just assumed she’d seen what happened and that was how she knew. But now, it seemed there was more to the story, and her eyes dropped to her bowl as she tried to pretend that it didn’t worry her.

“Okay - what’d y’all talk about?”

He exhaled slowly before he began speaking. “You know that I got sent to the brig because I punched Solo, and that I punched him because he said that he and Gaby have been seeing each other. It upset me very much because… there are feelings that I have for Gaby that were never resolved.”

Illya knew that was a fairly obvious revelation. According to Solo, most people could tell if they spent time around the two of them. “It… hurt me to think of her with Solo. She and I spoke. Both of us are very happy with our partners and would not do anything to hurt that.” He reached out and tilted Rogue’s chin up. “I care about you, very much. Even if you look like Gaby, you are a different person from her. I like you for the person that you are. There is no chance of she and I being together, but I wanted you to know what we spoke about. I could not keep that from you.” Having it come out later would probably end up causing a lot more problems than if he was just upfront about it.

Honestly, she couldn’t say she was surprised. She’d picked up on that before they’d ever even kissed the first time, which was why back then she’d made sure he knew exactly who he was kissing. But they hadn’t talked about it since then, and especially not after Gaby arrived, though he hadn’t ever done anything to make her doubt his feelings - until this altercation in the mess hall.

Marian met his gaze almost reluctantly, a hint of nervousness in her eyes, but it faded as he continued. “I...appreciate you telling me about all that. But if - I mean, if something happened, like say Solo disappeared tomorrow and she suddenly wanted to be with you...where would I stand then?” Mostly it was her own deeper insecurities coming to bare - particularly since sometimes she even wondered if they’d be as close as they were if she hadn’t found some way to negate her powers or gain some semblance of control over them. Hell, if anything she’d probably still be a virgin.

Illya shook his head. That was a hypothetical situation and honestly if he dwelled too much in the hypothetical it could drive them both mad. “I think that is assuming a lot. I could ask you the same thing though. I know you had someone back home. What would become of us if he were to arrive here?”
It probably would have been difficult for the two of them to have a real relationship if Rogue had not been able to control her powers and Illya could not touch her. Intimacy was a part of any relationship.

“I like to think we’d still be together. That was months ago,” she said, giving a soft sigh before she shook her head. “He’d want me to move on, to be happy - especially in a place like this, with no guarantee I’d ever see him again. And he’d be glad that I am, if he showed up suddenly.” Rogue squeezed his hand softly, though saying it herself had actually made her feel better about her place in this relationship.

“You are happy, right? Here, with me?” He said he liked her, but that didn’t mean that he was wholly happy right now.

“I am very happy with you,” Illya replied, brushing his fingers over her jaw. “Do not ever doubt that.” Tilting her chin up, he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. “I would have you hear about our conversation from me though, as I would not want you to think I was keeping something from you.” He felt like it was very important to be honest with her.

She relaxed at the kiss, returning it softly, then gave him a nod. “I won’t. And I appreciate you telling me. I’m just glad everything’s okay between you and your friends...assuming it is?” Rogue let go of her spoon to brush her fingers through his hair slowly, enjoying being able to touch him without fear. “I’d hate to know there was a problem with y’all. None of us have many friends here, and I care about them, too.”

“Yes,” he said with a nod. “I apologized and I think it has been worked out. “I could not lose them as friends. They are all I have besides you.” Illya held her close to him, burying his face in her hair and breathing in her scent. “I missed holding you, even if I was only in the brig for a day.”

“I get the feeling. Aside from y’all, all I’ve got is Kitty.” She let him pull her in, and slid her own arms around him, smiling a little against his shoulder. A moment later, she made it easier for both of them by moving onto his lap so that they could hold each other easier.

“So did I. Worst part of the day is when you’re on duty and I have to make sure I don’t try and hunt you down,” she told him, lifting her head to chuckle a bit.

“We should make the most of tonight, you know. Does this borscht stuff head up well?”

He gave her a sly grin as he wrapped his arms around her. “Oh, yes, it can stay good for a while. That is why I made a large pot.” Illya slid his fingers through her hair again. “If you are not hungry right now, we can reheat later.”

“I can wait,” she assured him, tilting her head with his hand a bit before leaning in to kiss him again. There were too many feelings for her to even let them all out right now, and Rogue wasn’t sure she fully understood them, but what mattered right now was just that they were together.