InsaneJournal

Exactly as she’d promised, Lara had found a boat for Isabela. While it wasn’t a sailing vessel from Earth or Thedas, nor was it particularly large, it was luxurious and most importantly it floated.

Lara was wearing a pair of shorts, and a tank top, and her feet dangled over the stern of the little yacht as she tossed a line and hoped for a bite. It was early, the sun barely risen, but she was wide awake. Waking up to Isabela curled against her back had made her need to get up and do something.

It was probably an understatement that Isabela kissed the ground on Risa when she’d first set foot on it. It also probably needed to be noted that she also probably kissed the deck of the ship that Lara had gotten. It wasn’t a ship Isabela was used to, but this was exactly what she’d needed. Open air, water, and a boat. Alcohol and sex would be good additions as well, but right now she was more focused on the first three.

When she’d found Lara wasn’t there when she’d woken up, Isabela was perhaps a bit disappointed but she didn’t let it show. She got up, adjusted her clothes and came out on deck as she was putting her bandana back on. She smiled upon seeing Lara fishing.

“There you are, attempting to catch breakfast? Or are you just fishing for the sake of fishing?”

“A little of both,”Lara said, glancing back over her shoulder and smiling at Isabela. She quickly looked back to what she was doing. It didn’t do to stare and she felt generally confused around Isabela. She wasn’t so naive as to not understand what the confusion was about, it was just a rare thing for her. And she knew Isabela liked her freedom, which was not something Lara could give her.

“Sea breeze feels good. And there are never any storms on this planet, which is … good.”

“Have you caught anything yet?” She asked. Once the bandana and her hair were as she wanted them, Isabela stretched her arms and her back. Taking a deep breath, she sighed it out happily. She was going to continue ignoring the fact that it was nice spending time like this with Lara.

“You have no idea how good the sea breeze feels. Kind of wish we could just keep sailing towards that horizon and not come back.” Isabela gazed out at that distant horizon rather fondly. It was a sight she hadn’t had in three years. It made her a little emotional.

Lara pointed at a bucket, which had two fish in it. She wasn’t sure what fish they were but the tricorder had said they were safe to eat. “I’ll show you how to work the grill they have on board. I don’t know how different it is from cooking where you’re from.

She looked back up at Isabela, catching the emotion on her face. “We can go a few days I suppose. As long as I get a chance to climb that mountain.”

“Most cooking is done over an open fire when you’re on dry land. On a ship, we have food that won’t go bad before we reach the next port.” Preserved food, things that wouldn’t rot, that sort of thing. She glanced at the fish in the bucket. She didn’t know what they were, but as long as they were edible she didn’t really care either.

“I wouldn’t dream of keeping you from climbing the mountain.” Isabela wasn’t a climber. She prefered her feet on the deck of a ship. But she’d definitely watch Lara climb a mountain.

“Sure you don’t want to climb with me?” Lara asked, getting to her feet. She bent over to pick up the bucket then put the rod back where she’d found it. She bumped past Isabela - besides the small galley there was an area in the deck that could have a grill rise up.

“I’m not really a climber. But I’ll watch you climb,” Isabela said with a smirk and a wink. When Lara bumped past her, she shivered a little, eyeing her up and down for a moment before she followed after her.

“That’s fair. I’ll have to impress you then.” Lara started heating up the grill, then got to the nitty gritty of cleaning the fish. This was something that relaxed her, strangely enough. It reminded her of days with Roth or Sam, when they were out hiking or camping. She’d clean the fish and Sam would make retching sounds.

“With my luck I’ll fall off.”

“With those muscles and that ass of yours, it won’t be too difficult to impress me,” she chirped. Isabela watched as Lara started cleaning the fish. The sight and the smell didn’t bother her in the slightest. Of course, it was kind of a normal thing for her to experience.

“If you fall, then I’ll just have to catch you.” Isabela moved up behind Lara, looking over her shoulder down at the fish. “You have quite the expert hand there.”

Deciding there was nothing innocent about what Isabela just said, Lara chose to ignore it. Giving Bela a reaction would only make things worse, and Lara had to surpress the urge to just do it anyway.

“If you think you can catch me, you’re welcome to try.”

Isabela noted how Lara ignored the comment about her hands and decided to up the ante. She leaned in a bit, pressing against Lara’s back a bit. “Even if I don’t catch you proper, I have padding for you to land on.” She had to put her ample bosom to use sometimes!

A little squeak came out of Lara’s mouth before she could stop it and for a half-second she leaned back against Isabela, before leaning forward again. “So they’re more than flotation devices?”

God, never let Isabela know about boobjobs.

Well, the one kind of boobjob she probably didn’t know existed anyway.

Isabela would probably have a field day with jokes about boobjobs if she learned about them. She smirked a bit when Lara did lean back against her for a brief moment. She liked that, and could certainly work with it. Lifting a hand, she brushed it against Lara’s shoulder and she stepped away from her, moving to lean against the counter next to Lara.

“Aren’t you the funny one?” She chuckled. “They have many uses, really. Flotation devices, pillows, the list goes on!”

Lara felt Isabela’s absence and swallowed hard. But she focused on the fish and getting them nice and grilled. “I’m going to regret asking, but what else is on this list?”

“Well, since you asked so nicely,” Isabela began with a grin, “there’s a lot that can be done with them during sex. People like hanging onto them, especially when in certain positions. They can be cushions as well when I’m ass over tits and face-down. They can be shock absorbers as well!”

Lara paused in the middle off flipping the fish to look at Isabela with far more shock than she’d expected. “I ah… was hoping for less sexual options? But how does that work when hands are otherwise occupied?”

“Please, you’re talking to me. 99% of what comes out of my mouth is sexual in nature.” Isabela chuckled. “You mean how does hanging onto them work? Getting hammered from behind, some like to grip my breasts for added sensations and whatnot.”

“I cannot believe I’m having this conversation,” Lara deadpanned. “And yet what did I expect?”

The fish was almost done, and if it went much longer it would over cook. She retrieved some plates and while it wouldn’t pass the inspection of Chopped judges, her plating would do.

Presenting Isabela with her plate, Lara pretended she wasn’t blushing. “Does it do anything for you, or is it just for them? Breasts are just sacks of fat.”

“Stick with me and you’ll have even more conversations you won’t believe you’re having,” Isabela grinned, wagging her eyebrows at Lara. Taking her plate, she noticed the blush and smirked a bit. “I could demonstrate on you and let you feel it for yourself, but you’d prob ably die on me and I can’t have that. Nipples are sensitive, so if they do anything with those, yes it does something for me. Otherwise, it’s just hands on me and I like that feeling, too.”

Lara’s face had reached a new stage of red, and she fumbled both her plate and her words. Once she’d recovered, she managed to cough out, “I’ll just have to explore that later.”

She immediately contemplated diving into the ocean.

“Please do,” Isabela practically purred. She gave Lara another wink. “Here, why don’t we eat on the bow of the ship. It’ll sport one of the best views ever.” She shifted the subject just so Lara could actually start breathing again, but also because she just wanted to sit and stare at the horizon and share it with Lara. “And it’s my opinion that you’ve never truly seen a sunrise or a sunset until you see them on the ocean.”

The horizon was better than Isabela staring at her. Lara reminded herself that she really should shut her down. But part of her didn’t want to. It was dangerous, that balance.

“You forget, I’ve seen both.” Lara followed Bela to the bow and sank to deck. “It’s best when shared with a friend.”

Isabela sat down, dangling her legs over the side of the yacht. She looked at Lara with a smile, then looked out at the horizon. “Yes, it is. Been several years since I had the chance to share one with a friend.” Then again, Isabela didn’t have many friends. She had plenty of friends, but that was entirely different. She looked at Lara out of the corner of her eye. She wouldn’t necessarily admit it, but it was nice to have company like this. And being out in the open air had gotten rid of her anxiety and claustrophobia completely. Isabela was truly free and fully herself right then and there.

Almost imperceptibly, Lara scooted closer to Isabela, until their hips touched. Maybe it was the trauma from the island, or the relative peace of the Enterprise, or a combination of both, but she’d been craving human contact. To feel human again, and not like she was only going through the motions the way others expected her to.

She’d forgotten what it was like to feel anything but numb, and Isabela seemed to help with that. “It’s a beautiful view.”

Smiling as she felt Lara’s hip touch against hers, she looked at her. “Indeed it is. I’ve missed it.” And she knew they wouldn’t be able to stay here forever, so she was going to soak up as much of the sight as she could. “I like these quiet moments, where it’s just you and the horizon and infinite possibilities of what the day may bring.”

“Maybe next world, we can find an actual sailing vessel,” Lara suggested. She closed her eyes, letting the sound of the sea and whatever passed for seagulls wash over her. She liked Isabela like this. It was a side of her she doubted many were allowed to see.

“Tell me something. On this world, the weather will always be like this. Would you rather the unpredictable, or the safe?”

“Something with a proper sail would be wonderful. This ship’s way out of my league for sailing.” Besides, she’d like to have to hoist a sail and make other appropriate pirate and sailing jokes and sexual innuendos on top of it all. And Lara was right, very few people ever saw Isabela like this. She had many layers, and she was letting Lara in deeper than most people ever got the chance to be.

“Unpredictable. Half the fun of sailing is when the weather takes a sudden turn and you have to react. I’ve never felt more alive than when I’ve held a sail in place during high winds and lightning and rain pelting me.”

“You would be into a ship with a tall mast,” Lara deadpanned. Absently, she placed her hand on Isabela’s knee. “I don’t know how I’d react in a storm. If I’d face it, or if I’d let the wreck freeze me.”

“You have no idea,” she retorted with a smirk. The hand on her knee was a surprise, but she liked it and didn’t call attention to it, afraid that it would make Lara pull her hand back. “That’s understandable. It’d probably take time to get to the point of facing it, but I think that’s true for everyone and the various problems we have. For the most part, anyway.” Some problems never went away no matter how much they were faced. Such as Isabela’s clau strophobia.

Apparently, Isabela hadn’t gotten the tall mast innuendo or had ignored it and Lara wasn’t sure which was more surprising. “Maybe I should try to face it on the holodeck sometime.”Would that really work, knowing she was actually safe? Or would it be just enough to help give her that last push she needed to get over it.

“It couldn’t hurt. If you want to try it and not be alone, I’ll be there with you.” She offered. Isabela wasn’t really the definition of moral support, but she could give support when she wanted to. And this was one of those times. “Besides, it’s easier to face something scary when you aren’t alone, yes?” She gave Lara a reassuring smile and set a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it.

“I’m used to being alone for the scary. I was the one that was saving everyone else. Wading into the battle, killing hundreds.... It was easier alone. It was hard enough to survive on my own, let alone with someone tagging along.”

She leaned against Isabela.

“I understand. Though just because you’re used to being alone doesn’t mean you have to be alone all the time. Especially when you aren’t alone here.” Isabela slid an arm around Lara’s shoulders when she leaned against her. She gave Lara a little squeeze, showing her that she was there for her if she wanted.

“Why do I think that’s advice you yourself need to listen to?”Lara turned her head towards Isabela, smiling knowingly. “I was that girl who was always reading and studying. My friend dragged me out to party. I don’t know if I could ever go clubbing again, but I can appreciate spending time with people now.”

“I know I’m not alone. And believe me, I’ve asked for help of my friends a lot. I’m just not one who admits the whole truth of a situation until we’re in the middle of it.” Isabela was shocked that Hawke hadn’t punched her yet for some of the shit she’d gotten her into. She was also fairly certain that Sparkle Fingers wanted to hit her with a lightning bolt or something. “Sounds like you had a good friend. Everyone needs to get out and enjoy other people now and then. Reading is all well and good, but you miss what’s going on in the world around you if you only read and study.” Spoken like a true adventurer.

“I got her back by reeling her in from her most crazy exploits.” Lara nudged Isabela’s arm with her elbow. “And something tells me I need to keep a leash on you.”

Okay that came out wrong.

“Ohh, you’re into that, are you? Well, I’d be game for giving that a go. So long as it was you that was holding my leash,” Isabela retorted with a wink. She wasn’t going to let that one get past without comment.

Without a word, Lara got to her feet, peeled her top and shorts off, and dove into the water. It was safer that way, and it was a shock of… not cold at all, bugger.

She surfaced, pushing her hair back and treading water as she looked at Isabela.

Isabela just wordlessly stared as Lara peeled off her top and shorts and dove into the water. When Lara surfaced and looked up at her, she chuckled a bit. “Well, that’s one way to get out of a conversation. Or did you need a cold shock to your system because you were getting too hot sitting next to me?”

“I’ll let you guess at that,” Lara retorted, before climbing back out of the water and wringing out her hair. She padded past Isabela in search of a towel, already regretting getting her knickers wet.

There was a joke in that thought and it was entirely Isabela’s fault.

Isabela laughed a bit, shaking her head a little. “Do you need a hand drying off? I’d say I could help you, but I’d rather just make you wetter.” She wasn’t pulling her punches there as she gazed at Lara walking off to find a towel.

“Careful, you’re playing with fire,” Lara warned, but she didn’t sound entirely upset at the matter. She eyed the liquor cabinet. A little liquid courage wasn’t a bad idea right now, but she closed her eyes and sighed. “And I’m leading you on.”

“I’m not afraid to play with fire. Sure there are times where you get burned, but there are times when you don’t.” Even if Isabela preferred not getting burned. She had attachment issues, which tended to be woven into her self-esteem issues and also with how she’d been raised. Isabela got up and walked after Lara. “What, you’re saying you’re not interested at all? Because I’m pretty sure you’re definitely interested.”

“I’m saying that what you want and what I want…” Lara turned around, and Isabela was suddenly too close, but she didn’t back away. “What I want might not be entirely the same thing.”

She sounded just a little breathy.

“And what is it that you want?” Somehow, the possibility of Lara wanting a relationship was nowhere on Isabela’s mind currently. At least not consciously. Isabela didn’t think in terms of relationships. Tended to be safer that way.

“I’m not like Sam. I can’t just.. Hop into bed with someone without an emotional commitment. No matter how much I might… want to.” Which was the first real admission she wanted to. At the very least she wanted to kiss her right this moment.

Lara’s response confirmed what Varric had said about her. And it was definitely something that Isabela was not prepared for. Underneath it all, Isabela did want Lara in a more than just casual sex way, but she knew she was trash and that Lara deserved better than her. So she was going to do what she always did, and that was run away from the feelings and bury them in alcohol, sex and treasure hunts. She did her best to keep a poker face on, but there was a momentary crack before she steeled herself.

“Ah, well, I’d only break your heart. I’m not built for relationships.” Which was a lie. She could have one if she’d let herself, but she refused to give herself a chance.

Lara didn't entirely believe her. She brushed her fingers down Isabela's cheek. "That might be a worry for me. Or are you more worried about your heart?"

She closed her eyes briefly at Lara’s touch to her cheek. “It’s a worry for you. My heart is irrelevant.” It wasn’t, but Isabela preferred to believe it was. “So really, I’m saving you trouble and pain later on.”

This was a bad idea. A really, really bad one and Lara was normally not the kind of person to make this kind of bad decision, but that didn’t stop her from pulling Isabela in and kissing her.

Her previous kisses could be counted on one hand and had always been very, very drunk ones with Amanda or Sam.

Alright, Isabela had not expected the kiss. It took her a moment to process what was happening, but before her brain could kick back in, she kissed Lara back. She had been wanting to kiss her pretty much since they’d first met. But now there was something else there that Isabela refused to feel because she knew it wouldn’t lead anywhere good.

Finally, after several moments, Isabela broke the kiss, eyeing Lara. “Love and emotional commitment aren’t for me.” She forced herself to take a step back, while also keeping her emotions close to her chest and hiding them as she always did.

Though her kiss had told a very different story, that she wanted Lara.

Lara pulled in closer to Isabela, the kiss making her dizzy. This was much better than a drunken, depressed type of kiss and when it was over it was over too soon. She was still trying to process exactly what had happened and how Isabela had responded. The only thing she was certain of was that Isabela was only telling a half truth. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

It was hard to think with Lara being so close to her, but Isabela wasn’t giving in. She was sticking to her guns on getting out of this before things got messy. Besides, Lara deserved someone worlds better than her. “It’s fine. I do plenty of things I shouldn’t.”

“I’m learning to let loose a little,” Lara offered, finally pulling away from Isabela, though with great reluctance. “I think you’ve been a good influence.”

Best to just pretend that hadn’t happened, even though her body was screaming and buzzing.

Isabela let out a self-deprecating laugh. “Me? A good influence? Certainly not. I’m a very bad influence and everyone knows it.” No one had ever said that she was a good influence before. No doubt Varric would laugh himself to death at hearing that.

“There are different kinds of good influences, you know.” Lara leaned against the railing and gave Isabela a smile. “Sometimes you have to be bad to be good.”

“Considering it’s gotten you to let loose a little, I’ll accept that,” she said with a smile. Though Isabela was going to be very careful now. She was in dangerous territory and it would just be easier if she backed off now.

Lara should back off too, but found herself conflicted on the matter. But she knew Isabela wasn’t a one-person kind of woman, and she was. She just hoped they could still be friends. “It’s a victory.”

The thing was that Isabela could be a one-person kind of woman, but she just refused to let herself be. Besides, she was of the opinion that Lara could do way, way better than her in that department. “Well, at least I won something. Doesn’t happen very often.”