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It almost always is. It's like um, that bit in Alice in Wonderland - how long is forever, sometimes it's only a few seconds, or something. That's how the stories always are.
Oh, gosh, um. I- I don't know, I, it's not that I wouldn't want help ordinarily, I've been getting books and books and books at home and lots of meditation, and I have deeply wanted to be around people for like years now. But I.. would have to look into whatever might be suggested, we don't know how our magics interact and I wouldn't want anything to backfire.