Godric Witt (shy_vamp) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2009-05-28 18:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | blake, godric |
Wednesday, 11/14
Who: Blake and Godric
What: The First Time
Where: Godric's apartment
When: Wednesday night, around 7:30
Rating: NSFW
Drama drama drama. Godric was sitting cross-legged on the couch, bent over his laptop and shaking his head. For once the problems were not his own. Of course, that didn't mean he wasn't involved in them. Cissy was in a bit of a bind with Jonah, and Godric had wanted to help. Talking to Jonah had been unsuccessful, so he'd written the man an email. Cissy was tough to take, he knew, and it was only fair that Jonah understood it wasn't going to get any easier. She was totally worth the hassle, yes, but easy to handle she was not. So after talking to Cissy, then Jonah, then Cissy once again while writing an email, Godric was glad when she finally signed offline. He closed his computer, stretching. That was enough troubles for one night. Placing the computer on his coffee table, he got to his feet.
It was almost seven. He didn't have any paperwork to do (for once), didn't have anything else he was obligated to do. So after getting himself a glass of whiskey from the cabinet, Godric stretched out on his couch and turned on his DVD player. Moulin Rouge was still in the player. He shrugged, deciding that a fourth viewing in the past ten days probably wouldn't kill him. It made him think of Blake, and it was a movie that he could either watch or ignore. Win win. And he would never, never admit it aloud, but... the movie wasn't that bad.
---
Drama drama indeed. Having got off the phone with Hope not just two minutes before, Blake had every intention of going to Godric's place to talk. Just talk. Chat it through, find some common ground in this new arrangement and try and see it through. But he simply sat in his car, staring at Godric's apartment window, hands on the steering wheel as if he were preparing to drive as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
Maybe he should. Maybe he should just high tail it back to Hope and say Ric wasn't in. But this whole fear thing was moot. The two most important people in the world to him had put aside their ideals to come to a common agreement and Blake was benefiting from that agreement so what the hell did he need to run from?
He was at Ric's door a moment or two later, preparing to knock. When he did so he took a breath, exhaling only when he heard Ric's feet padding towards the door.
"Ello....." he said quietly, with a small timid smile on his face. Last time they'd spoken face to face Godric had slapped him one for looking at him in a more-than-friendly manner. Blake hoped that wouldn't be repeated.
---
Godric was happily zoning out, watching the nonsensical dance number on the movie onscreen. Right about now Blake would be singing along and trying to hide it. Godric smiled faintly. Thinking about Blake these days brought less of a panic into his chest and more of a smile to his face. He was smitten. It was awful. And nice.
He heard the footsteps up to his door before he heard the knock. Lifting his head, Godric listened a moment to see who it was. Georgie, maybe? He wouldn't be suprised. They had had a lovely evening together on Monday. He got off the couch, scratching his chest. Or wait, no. Maybe it was Cissy. She had said she was going to take a shower. Myabe she was planning on showering in his apartment. Grinning, he grabbed the doorknob. "Is 'I'm going to shower now' code for 'I'm going to invade your apa-" His voice faltered as the door opened fully. It wasn't Cissy at all. It was Blake. Probably the last person he'd expected to see. "Hi," he said, stunned. Blake was here. Was this good or not?
"Um... Come in," he said, stepping back to let Blake come in. His stomach was suddenly twisting itself in knots. He was nervous, and rightfully so. Was Blake coming here expecting... anything? They hadn't seen one another in a few days, and the last time it had been not so great.
---
Blake strolled through the door, hands in pockets, shoulders hunched nervously. He took a moment to look around Ric's apartment. It smelt of him. It was warm. The atmosphere was nice and the TV was.... playing Moulin Rouge in the corner. Blake perked up at that, a wide grin spreading across his face and he gestured to it.
"Have I converted you?" he asked, chuckling a bit. "I thought you'd fall for the sequins and pretty feathers. Either that or Ewan McGregor singing. Or everything..."
No Blake was not here expecting things. He expected tension but nothing more.
---
As Blake came into his apartment, Godric realized a moment too late that the movie was still playing. He slouched in defeat as Blake grinned at him. "No, you have not converted me," he protested. "I just... I was too lazy to change the disc." But that didn't explain why he had the disc to begin with, or what it was doing in player.
If Blake had been expecting tension, he was getting it. Godric was still standing near the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. "Erm... so... what brings you by?" It felt like there was something huge sitting between them, and if one of them just mentioned it then it would go away. But who had the guts to bring it up?
---
Seeing as Godric had asked why he was here, it transpired that Blake had to have the guts. "I thought we should.. talk. About the new... arrangement. Us. The elephant in the room basically, being that of the fact Hope wants us to sleep together and get it out of our systems... to have each other... I suppose...."
He took a breath, massaged the back of his neck, then glanced at Godric again. "Just wondered... how you felt about it... and why you agreed."
---
Oh, boy. So it was going to be one of those evenings. Shame, too. Godric had been enjoying not having to worry about himself tonight. He went over to the coffee table, grabbing his glass of whiskey and draining it. "Alright," he said, shuddering. Damn nasty brew. Blake deserved honesty, deserved straightforward answers. The decision had pretty much been made behind his back. "You want anything?" he asked, heading into the kitchen for another round. He didn't know if he could talk about this without lubricating the senses, so to speak. Godric took out another glass and filled them both with whiskey. He stayed behind the counter, taking another sip of drink.
"Why I agreed," he began, because that was as good a place to start as any. "Um... that's a tough one, actually." He took another drink to give himself a moment. "I just... I just wanted the agony to end," he said at last. "I wanted Hope not to be suspicious and hurt, and I wanted to stop feeling like any time I saw you we were cheating on her, and I wanted you to stop... looking like you do." He drank again, turning his back to Blake to put the alcohol back in the cabinet. "It seemed like the best way for you both to be happy."
---
Blake accepted the whiskey, sipping it. He did not want to get drunk nor did he want Godric to be pissed as a fart so he was keeping an eye on this alcohol intake. Whilst Godric spoke Blake nodded, chewing the inside of his cheek as he thought about Hope being, as he said, suspicious and hurt. No chance of that now, seeing as she'd spurred on this relationship. If that's what it was.
"What about you? What about your happiness? Are you just doing this so I don't officially cheat on Hope again?"
--
The knee-jerk reaction Godric was about to spit out went something along the lines of 'It's your relationship with Hope, I just want you both to be happy', but he stopped himself. That wasn't the question Blake asked, and it wasn't the answer he'd want. That was a teacher's answer, giving a response without actually answering anything. He needed to work on that. "No," he said quietly, keeping his back to Blake. Godric leaned against the counter, placing his palms on the surface behind him. "It was... more than that." God, this was hard. He really preferred to close up and not talk about things, especially not face to face. "I didn't want to do it," he confessed. "At first. It sounded like the worst idea I'd ever heard. I knew I was just going to mess this up, that it would end badly. But... I thought I should try. Maybe it would be okay. Better than okay. Maybe it would be great."
His fingers curled over the edge of the countertop. He couldn't turn to face Blake yet. "I wasn't lying when you messaged me on Monday." His voice was strained, quiet. "I meant it. All of it. I do... you know... what I said."
---
If he hadn't realised how hard this would be for Ric he might not have even considered asking a question. But despite him knowing it was a difficult question Blake needed to know the answer. He needed to know before he could commit himself to doing anything. Though it was annoying him that Ric insisted on having his back to him, he allowed him some space. Once Godric had finished though - with the reminder of Monday's big revelation now circulating Blake's mind he had to smile a little. Then, abandoning his drink, he walked over to Godric. Reached out a hand to touch his arm...
"I know..." he said softly, running it down so he could hold Godric's fingers. "And... I can't tell you how much it meant to me. I know it was a lot for you to do. Even bigger now I know what you were considering... I don't think you realise... how... needed it was, for me..."
Moving further to Ric's side, he tried to get him to meet his eyes. "Because you know... I feel the same way. Right?"
---
Godric let Blake take hold of his hand, but he couldn't face him, not yet. He turned his face away, biting the inside of his lip. He nodded, knowing that Blake felt the same, that he had for awhile now. But Godric was still adjusting to this. His fangs pressed hard into the skin in his mouth. He was trying to keep himself from crying, or keep himself from saying this was a mistake and just walking away from it all. He just needed to keep himself together, keep himself there. He squeezed Blake's fingers tightly. "Yeah," he finally managed to say.
"I'm still worried," he admitted, looking down at his feet now. It wasn't quite eye contact, but at least Blake could see his face now. "There are just a hundred things that could go wrong with this. Believe me, I've thought of them all." Blake would know he had, because Blake knew him well enough to know Godric was a worrier and an overthinker.
---
The way Ric's hand squeezed his fingers, the way Ric tensed... Blake knew that if Godric had a heartbeat it'd be hammering ten to the dozen right about now. In an effort to soothe him he stroked his skin, hoping his warmth would pass through Ric's cold veins, hoping to give him a nice sort of energy - the loving energy he was feeling right now in the vampire's presence.
"There are things to be worried about." This was classic Godric, but whilst Blake was well aware of Ric's overactive imagination in regards to tragic scenarios there was a bit of reality in each one that could damage this particular relationship. He was glad he could see him a bit better though... and as he spoke he didn't stop trying to coax Ric to meet his gaze. "Of course there are. But fear can hold you back too much sometimes." He paused. "They say relationships are a leap of faith.... maybe it's time you jumped?"
---
Blake was normally a calming presence, and while Godric could tell he was trying to soothe him, it wasn't working much. He was still scared to death. "I don't like jumping," he said plainly. "I can't stand not knowing where I'm gonna land, who I'm gonna drag down on the way." Holding Blake's hand tightly, Godric pulled him close to him, wrapping his arms around the skinny energy demon. "I'm trying," he said pitifully, resting his head on Blake's shoulder. He was trying. That was about the best he could offer.
"I told Georgie I loved her," he said softly. "Monday. Wanted to take it back the minute I said it. I'm sure it's all going to go wrong. And don't you do what you always do, roll your eyes and tell me I'm being irrational. I'm not being irrational. I'm being..." He smiled a little. "Human."
---
Blake had been about to argue but Godric did the one thing which could shut him up right then, which was hug him. At first he was so surprised he didn't respond, but he recovered quickly by snaking his arms around the bulkier man. He was attempting to be discreet in breathing in Ric's scent but it didn't really work. There was a point where he became putty in Ric's presence - he had now passed that point. Almost to the part where he zoned out completely and didn't focus on what Ric was saying.
He smiled when Ric said he'd told Georgie he loved her. She deserved that. But then he leaned his head against Godric's, sighing deeply. "You are human. You're just a bit different. And it probably is going to all go wrong anyway - so why the fuck not enjoy our trip to hell? Make the most out of this horrendous tragedy while we can instead of waste it.... because Ric, it's obscene how much I love this... it's ridiculous how much I like you like this... in my arms..."
---
Godric made a face that Blake could not see. "You're not very reassuring!" he accused. "I don't want it to go to hell. That doesn't sound like anything desireable." But he knew Blake was barely listening. The man was half gone, and Godrc could not keep the smile from his face. "You're useless as far as a listening ear," he teased. "The minute I look at you, you turn into pudding." It was flattering, though. The idea that someone was so affected by him... amazing.
Nudging Blake's face with his chin, Godric kissed the man, for the first time not feeling like a complete asshole for doing so. "Mmm," he hummed, closing his eyes. "This might be alright," he admitted. "Scary, but okay. I promised Hope I wouldn't disappear. I'm glad I didn't." He pressed his forehead against Blake's. "I think I'm ready for this." He meant this relationship, this time with Blake, the potential of what them being alone (with permission) meant... he was as ready as he was ever going to be.
---
"What's the point in trying to reassure you? All you do is argue back or counter it with another problem and radical scenario to prove a stupid point..." He said it all with a smile, one which he rested against the side of Ric's cheek. "But I am the best damn pudding you will ever get to sample and you know that..."
Godric's kiss shut him right up. He returned it eagerly, yet tenderly, and when Godric hummed Blake was sure he felt a thousand butterflies spin around his insides and flutter in his body. It was so nice... to kiss him without the notion that they were doing something wrong, something bad. That they were hurting people they loved, being bad for doing this. The people they loved knew. They were okay with this. To kiss Godric without horrendous guilt was... "Amazing..." Blake sighed, breathing out against his lips. "I'm ready too... I'm really ready to jump now..." And he was also very ready to snog Ric to death once more, but he wasn't going to force himself down his throat.
---
One by one, each part of Godric's brain was shutting down. Blake's mouth, his hands, had a way of cutting off every practical sense Godric had, firing up the most basic ones- scent, taste, touch. He kissed hard against Blake's mouth, his tongue delving past the other man's lips. His hands were firm on Blake's slim hips, pulling their bodies close together. He was already growing hard just kissing him, smelling him, touching him. A low moan vibrated in the back of his throat, one of Godric's hands sliding up Blake's back, his fingers winding themselves through his hair.
"I want it to be tonight," he whispered against Blake's mouth. "I want you tonight."
---
If it was possible to whimper like a girl, Blake had just done it - the minute Godric pressed his tongue past Blake's lips, the combination of kissing and feeling what he was doing to the vampire, was enough to make him melt right then and there. There was no concealing that Blake felt exactly the same way; the moment he felt Godric's hardness he was quick to respond in kind, returning the kiss as he pushed his growing heat further against Ric. It felt good, so good to have him - even better when Ric's hands ran through his hair....
Godric's words made him shiver despite his brain protesting at first. 'I only just came to talk' it thought, but the words didn't connect to Blake's mouth. 'Honestly... just to talk...' Obviously tonight was going to be more than talking. And Blake was more than fine with that.
"Just tell me how and you'll have me," was Blake's breathy response, before his lips pressed against Godric's in a kiss full of need and hunger. One hand cupped Godric's face, stroking his cheek, the other firmly on his hip. There were no other words coming out of his mouth, just moans of pleasure humming against Godric's tongue and eventually his hands began to wander... not content with their positions he spread them all over Godric's back, wanting, needing to feel his body beneath his fingers.
---
He could have guessed that Blake was only here to talk. He had come in so shy, seeming to unsure. This was all still very new for both of them, and would probably have been best not to rush things. But one of the many, many worries Godric had about their situation was that Hope would suddenly change her mind and then it would all be gone. He had only just begun to accept that this was real, and this was okay. Losing it again would be harder than he could handle. So he was taking advantage, stealing his chance while it was still on the table.
Untangling himself from Blake's arms, Godric took the man's hands gently, pulling him along. He took him into the bedroom, somplace Blake had yet to be in his apartment. Apprehensive was the only word Godric could think to describe himself, but that wasn't right. This felt right, but horribly wrong, and he wanted it so much and was scared to death of it. Standing beside the bed now, Godric turned to Blake, his hands cupping just under the man's jaw. He looked into Blake's eyes, studying him. He could actually hear Blake's heart, feel his skin growing hot. Godric smiled lightly, pulling himself close and kissing Blake's mouth, gently at first. Still kissing him, Godric's hands wandered over Blake's body, slipping the blazer off his skinny shoulders. His fingers undid each button on the man's shirt, slowly, slipping inside every so often to feel the skin underneath. Blake's heart tapped against his fingertips. Blake's shirt fell to the floor with the jacket, landing with the faintest whisper. Godric's hands pressed flat against Blake's chest, sliding down to his waist. He loved how Blake dressed, proper on top and fifteen year old skater boy on bottom. His fingers slipped apart the button, hands snaking inside to rest on his hip bones. He could feel the heat radiating from Blake's erection, and it made him moan softly.
His mouth trailed off Blake's lips, kissing across his cheek, down his neck, over his shoulder. He smelled amazing, that smell that always drove Godric's senses wild. He was losing all concept of thought, knowing one thing and one thing alone- he wanted that body. "Oh, God," he moaned against Blake's neck. "Fuck, Blake... how do you do this to me?" He felt so hungry with Blake, needed to touch him, taste him, fuck him. "You're driving me fucking crazy... I want you. Inside me."
---
Blake wasn't the kind to push. He'd have been happy standing there in the kitchen kissing, hands exploring each other's bodies and generally memorizing each other's touch. But Godric clearly wanted more, and whilst it scared Blake to think of it he was ready for this. When Godric lead him towards the bedroom the action wasn't without it's anticipation. Every inch closer towards Godric's room brought a higher wave of excitement, adrenalne. They were really going to do this. They both wanted it, admitted it, and now the time had come.
Godric's room was what Blake had pictured - which was strange because until now everything about Godric had surprised him. How much he wanted Blake, how much he cared about him, the way his apartment looked when he wasn't busy, the way it smelt when he had been... his musings were cut short as was his appreciation of his new surroundings as he was soon kissing Godric, returning every embrace, and feeling his clothes being stripped from his body. He hummed slightly, feeling his muscles tense. He was so hot that the chilliness of the room gave him goosebumps. On top of that, he had one hot fuck undressing him and it only made Blake want to rip all the clothes off him and throw him on the bed but that's not what they were here for. They were here to take things slow.. .within reason.
Seeing as Godric was behind on the clothing front, Blake took advantage of the break between their mouths to stroke underneath Ric's shirt. He'd not felt his skin before, not noticed the lack of a pulse but it didn't matter - it all paled in comparison to the feel of Ric's soft skin against his fingers, the strands of hairs, the muscles... fuck Blake was practically straining against his jeans at the thought. If that wasn't enough Godric uttered the most delicious sentence in the history of the world and Blake moaned slightly, nails scratching down Ric's chest.
"There's something I want to do first..." he whispered, dipping down to kiss his neck, shrug off Ric's shirt... he let it fall on top of his own discarded clothing as he paid attention to Ric's neck. Trailing a line down to his collarbone, then over his chest, Blake bent his knees and continued his line of butterfly kisses down Ric's stomach. He paused with his mouth just over his bellybutton - lips lingering on the skin - whilst his hands worked at pulling down Ric's pyjama pants. He needed this to happen. He wanted this. Just like Ric was driven insane by Blake, Blake was driven by the memory of Ric's mouth. He wanted to reciprocate, felt he'd missed out on this... and he wanted to taste him more than ever.
Releasing Godric's erection, Blake took it in his hand, stroked him once, then without even a tease he took him greedily in his mouth.
---
It had been awhile since Godric had been with someone, frankly, alive. There had been Adora, yes, but that had been a little less personal. He had't taken enough time to appreciate, to feel every sensation, hear every breath. It was as though he and Blake were inside a bubble, everything else locked out. All he could focus on was Blake's hands on his skin, his breath against his mouth, the warm wetness of his kiss, the fingernails on his chest, the quietness of his words... wait, what had he just said?
"You..." he began, trying to catch Blake's eye. What on Earth did he mean by that? It didn't take long for him to figure it out, however. He watched Blake lower himself down Godric's body, stomach muscles flinching under the man's mouth. It felt like a trail of fire was being burned into his skin. "Fuck," he whispered, swallowing hard. The anticipation was killing him. Finally Blake's mouth was around him, impossibly hot and wet. He let out a long, low moan in response. It felt a lot different than he'd expected it to, different than he remembered. Georgie's mouth had been warm enough, but nothing like this. It felt like lava.
Godric curled his fingers in Blake's hair, tugging it lightly. Blake was certainly not the most skilled oral lover Godric had ever had, but what he lacked in experience he more than made up for in enthusiasm. He didn't even know what to do with himself, he felt so delirious and aroused and completely lost within himself. This was the first time a man had been involved, the first time love had been involved. There was so much emotion and passion building inside his chest Godric would swear he could feel his heart beating.
"Mouth... fucking... hot... shit, Blake..." The pressure of his tongue, the slick warmth of his lips... at this rate their evening would be done far too soon after it had begun.
---
No Blake was not experienced and he feared he was doing everything wrong - but surely it wasn't rocket science. Men had simple organs, simple pleasures, desires. Blake hoped that he at least was delivering some of this to a satisfactory level for Godric's sake, but he needn't have worried. The moans coming from the vampire above him were music to Blake's ears and he hummed around Ric's shaft. It wasn't too weird - the scent of Ric's body was enough to stop Blake's mind from wandering to possibly damaging pastures, the sheer desire in him overtaking any worries.
One thing was bad about this though - if Godric was about to come, which Blake suspected he was, then it would take some heat out of this moment. The temptation to carry on and taste him was great, but he didn't want this to end right now. With a last, long stroke from his mouth he stopped, licking his lips before he made his way to stand. This time he met Godric's gaze, brown eyes deeper than before. He stroked his fingers through Ric's hair, tugged on it lightly, then allowed a devious, dirty, completely wicked smile to cross his lips.
"You taste of pure fucking sex," he whispered to him, his tone suddenly different. His voice had lowered in need and a primal need to mate, but he was willing to play a little right now. Kissing Godric slowly, the smile remained on his face. "Do you still want me inside you?" he asked him, eyes fluttering open to fix him in a fierce gaze. There was small concern behind them, a flicker which showed Godric he was genuinely needing confirmation.
---
Oh, Blake was doing fine. More than fine. Godric was moaning and biting his lip and trying as hard as he could not to thrust his hips into Blake's mouth. He didn't want to push, didn't want to be demanding. But Blake was making him fucking crazy. When Blake finally removed his mouth, so close to Godric's orgasm, he cried out in a low, frustrated growl. Blake was on his feet again, and Godric attacked his with his mouth, kissing him hard. Ugh, that mouth... But Blake was tugging on his hair and looking into his eyes, and Godric felt helpless. Helpless! When the fuck did this happen? He was always in control, hated feeling without it. But Blake was giving him the most sinful gaze, his eyes speaking volumes of sex, and Godric felt his knees get weak. At the sound of Blake's voice, he let out a small whimper. Who was this guy in front of him, acting this way? Not the Blake he knew. Godric's hands held onto Blake's shoulders, his arms wrapped tightly around him. This Blake was confident, and smooth, and radiating sex... and so fucking attractive Godric couldn't even form words. Blake's kiss was so much softer than his words were, tender and sweet.
He couldn't answer Blake, couldn't get his mouth to form the words. He felt so small, and desperate. He wanted Blake, really wanted him, in an entirely different way than before. He wanted to be dominated, to give up the endless control he always needed. Nodding, Godric managed a small, meek sigh of agreement. He couldn't look away from Blake's eyes, how dark and sexy and intense they were. How confident they were. He sat down on the bed beside him, not really able to hold himself up anymore. Godric ran his hands over Blake's arms, feeling their smoothness. They were suprisingly strong, arms that were forceful and gentle. It made Godric feel safe. He trusted Blake, more than he trusted most anyone. So he was ready to submit to him.
---
Blake had a tendency to switch - maybe it was a coping mechanism or something but when he was aroused he was certainly different, dominant - unless he was in a submissive mood. Right now he wanted a battle, a meeting of both men, but Godric appeared to be humbled with Blake's behaviour which only incited the fire within him. Godric was agreeing to go into the unknown and let Blake be his guide, so to speak. Despite him only doing this once, that was one more time than Godric had experienced and Blake wanted to perform well.
He was suddenly nervous, his heart hammering faster. The look in Ric's eyes, undeniable trust, was enough to melt him into putty. It wasn't a good idea to give in to that though, the two of them being melting messes wouldn't make for a memorable evening. When Godric sat, running his hands up Blake's arms, Blake placed one knee on the bed, near Godric's side, and dipped down to kiss him. Gradually, taking it slow, he leant Godric backwards so he was lying flat on the bed. He positioned his body, just taking his time in kissing, feeling Ric beneath him. He'd sensed a changed in Godric that was slightly odd - Blake had never imagined him to be submissive or willing to let someone else take control. Not like this, to this extent... to know he was the person to do this change though...
"Godric.." he whispered, the dark tone and arrogance from before having dissipated, and began talking between kisses, "promise me something... promise me you'll tell me if you don't... like it... if I'm hurting you, if you want to stop, if it's too much... I want this to be perfect... for you..."
---
Laying back onto the bed, letting Blake kiss him, Godric could almost feel the smooth confidence slipping away. He looked up at Blake, concerned a little. Had he said something wrong? Blake wasn't stopping, so probably not. But still... something was different. It didn't take long for him to absorb the energy from Blake, figure out that he was nervous as fuck. Godric ran his hands over Blake's back, almost reassuring him. He didn't have to be nervous because Godric wanted this, was absolutely sure.
Putting a hand under Blake's chin, he forced him to meet his eyes. "Don't worry," he said sternly, his voice soft. "You're not going to hurt me. Blake, just being with you... because it's you... that already makes it perfect." He held eye contact a moment longer, so Blake would know he meant it. Then he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth. "I love you," he whispered, barely making a sound. It had been hard to say, but slipped out into the air and couldn't be taken back. He held Blake close, his hands roaming over his body, pushing down his jeans. He wanted to see Blake naked, really see him, not just get fuzzy glances under streetlight.
---
Whatever Blake had expected it wasn't what Godric told him next. Even in a situation like this, he found Ric being the teacher, giving him reassurance when it should have been the other way around. The words Ric chose to use, though, the way he said them... at a moment like this it was so personal and so touching that Blake felt his insides twirl around. His eyes smiled down at Ric whilst his mouth fell open in a little surprise, unable to form any communication at all. It didn't matter though. He returned the kiss, expecting to continue.... I love you met his ears and he stalled once more, eyes widening. Nothing prepared him for the rush which suddenly flooded through him and for a scary moment he thought he'd start crying and ruin the whole thing. His gaze did become watery though, and his confidence rose.
"I love you," he whispered in reply, his lips brushing Ric's before he kissed him again. Jeans were a hindrance and he gladly helped in their removal, managing to shift down his boxers at the same time. Stupid trifling material, another layer between them which needed to be erased. More than ever he wanted to feel skin on skin, Godric's exposed body against his own. Fuck...
"Off..." he muttered, tugging at the pyjama bottoms in frustration.
---
Godric couldn't help but smile at Blake fondly. The man was so unsure of himself, seemed almost afraid of the effect he had on people. Strangely, Godric could relate, though he knew sex was something he was good at. He always had been. He noticed Blake's watery eyes, and had expected him to start crying. And that would've been okay. That was Blake, that was the way he reacted to things, and Godric knew it by now. He kind of liked it. Blake felt things totally, and Godric was jealous of that. He would have loved to feel half as much as Blake could, to be able to be so open like that.
He chuckled a little when Blake started tugging at his bottoms, and Godric lifted his hips to acquiesce. Now they were both naked, both on even ground. Godric ran an appreciative hand down Blake's smooth body, down his shoulder, over his hip, down his thigh. It had such a pleasing line to it, such fluidity. He didn't say what he was thinking, that Blake was fucking beautiful, because he knew that would definitely lead to waterworks. But his eyes made it very clear he was thinking it.
Moving backward onto the bed, he pulled Blake with him, so neither of their feet would be touching the floor. He pulled Blake down on top of him, pressing their bodies together. He could feel Blake's heart, beating for them both. Godric pressed a kiss to Blake's ear. "Bedside table drawer," he whispered.
---
Blake couldn't even think of what those eyes were telling him, for he was far too distracted by the way Ric's body looked. The man was named well - God was certainly true to his form. Such bulk and muscle and strength... he was beautiful, in a classic renaissance way, but also in a fucking sexy goddamnit way too. The combination made him pretty much irresistible and Blake was far too weak to resist him at all anyway.
Bedside table drawer... got it. Blake smirked, then pressed a long, needy kiss to Ric's lips before he reached out a hand. He scrambled just a little, reaching over to pull it open. Fingers darted around before he found what he was looking for... first the bottle, which was dropped onto the bed and near to Godric's hand, then a circular wrapper which would be needed tonight. Despite them not being able to catch anything nasty, it was probably an unspoken agreement that they must use a condom.
Blake knelt up, knees either side of Ric, applying lube to his hand. He stroked his length, moistening his skin, breathing out. He was so hard, and seeing Ric watch him - fuck. He tore the condom wrapper with his teeth, unravelling it and placing it over himself. He was so sensitive to touch, he was eager to be inside Godric and fill him but there was something else to do first. He brought his legs between Ric's thighs, gently nudging for him to spread them. "Little by little..." he said as an explanation - then with one finger of his lubed hand, he reached down and slid it gently into Godric.
---
Godric had decided on saturday that he was going to go through with this arrangement. Then of course he had panicked. Then Sunday night he'd gone out and bought the necessary accessories for the act. Then he'd panicked again. He was glad he's made himself go, though, because he didn't even want to think about where they would be right now if they had been unprepared.
He watched Blake intently, actually enjoying that for once, he was doing something new. He knew that Blake found his sordid past a little fascinating, and he knew that there was hardly anything under the sun he hadn't done. But this was new, and he felt... virginal. He hadn't been a virgin in over a century. His stomach was filled with butterflies, both apprehensive ones and eager ones. Watching Blake be so sure of himself, watching him touch himself and know what to do... if Godric had been breathing he would have long stopped by now. As Blake moved between his thighs, Godric lifted his arms, resting his hands on either side of his head. He was trying to relax, calm down, not be tense. He accomadated as much as Blake needed to, focusing his eyes on a spot on the ceiling. He was ready. He hoped.
It wasn't a bad feeling, exactly, just... invasive. Didn't quite hurt. He focused on the sensation, trying to decide if he liked it or not. At the moment it was just strange.
---
Godric wasn't ready - yet. There was still a little way to go, some way to stretch - Blake pressed in another two fingers, feeling the insides of Ric with his mouth open in a silent gasp at the sensation, before he realised he might be ready now. Didn't stop him from doing one last curl of his fingertips within Godric before drawing them out.
Now it was time. Now he could give in to everything he'd been wanting with Godric, he could be with him, be intimate with him, share these moments with him... Bringing himself forward he pressed the head of his erection to Godric, biting down on his lip. He'd never been as nervous in his life - the first time with a man was when he was drunk and they were both fooling around with no real consequence. It was just exploration - this was with a man Blake actually, physically loved, and who loved him back. There was real emotion here, making this mean even more.
Swallowing down any fear he had, Blake slid himself inside without further hesitation. His eyes fluttered closed, hands steadying himself by gripping Godric's hips but he eventually settled his heartrate down. He'd been about to explode, the heat radiating off him... Godric was tight, but cold, and a shock to the system... the knowledge that they were finally doing this...
"Fuck, Godric..." he whimpered, eyes closed as he drank in this sensation before he opened them to view the man beneath him.
---
He was grateful that Blake knew what to do, because Godric did not. He was grateful for many reasons. He knew all the medical reasons why what Blake was doing felt good, he knew all about prostate stimulation and nerve endings and all that. But none of it explained how overwhelmed he felt, how the touch of Blake inside him ignited all his senses. He almost protested when Blake withdrew his fingers, but immediately his disappointment was replaced with nervous excitement. So this was it. This was the moment everything was building toward.
Blake was a sizeable chap, so to say that Godric wasn't bracing himself for a world of hurt would have been a bald faced lie. But it was better than he expected. Painful, yes, but not blindingly so. His hands moved down from near his head to beside Blake's knees, fingers gripping the sheets. A soft groan escaped his lips. He was grateful that Blake paused a moment, letting him get accustomed to it. Godric looked up at Blake, reaching a hand up to pull him down, to get him closer. He wrapped his fingers around the back of Blake's neck. "It's okay," he assured Blake, knowing that he would worry. "I'm okay." He curled up and kissed Blake's mouth, his fangs scraping his lips.
After a moment, when his body had adjusted, it didn't feel so bad. It felt... nice. Good. His fingers dug into Blake's skin, and he let out a small moan. "Okay," he murmured, implying Blake could continue, could start moving. He'd never felt so vulnerable in his entire life. Well, once. The day he was turned. He's been lying there dying, totally helpless, drinking from his mother because he feared for his life. Now he was beneath Blake, totally exposed and vulnerable, and he was scared beyond belief. It was for a totally different reason, though. Back then he had been scared that his life was changing forever. Now he was certain his life was changing forever, but he trusted Blake, and that scared the hell out of him. But he wasn't going to shy away from it.
He kissed Blake again, more passionately than he had been before. "Fuck me," he demanded, his voice low and husky.
---
Godric was okay. He was fine, he was okay. Didn't make Blake's breathing any easier, that was for sure, but he was relieved to hear that nothing damaging had happened, mentally or physically. He kissed Godric in this new position, bent over him like he would a female lover - but somehow this was a little... poignant. The need felt slightly greater, the tension between them at a higher place than at any point Blake had been with a woman. It was probably the scent of Godric - his essence - his complete being and personality which made Blake feel like this. And he really loved it.
Blake began to move slowly, inching inwards and barely remembering to continue gathering oxygen. His chest was tight, his stomach in knots. He was so close already just from the lead up to this that the glorious sensation of being inside Ric was a danger of becoming too much but he would not ruin this moment. To help him, he drew on his strengths, his energies... pushed forwards, enjoying and both despairing at how incredible this was. It was almost too good to be true and he hadn't even got to the best part... the part he was building up to gradually with every shallow thrust he began to try within him. His ass clenched and he tried to be as smooth as possible, and as gentle... but after Godric practically devoured Blake's mouth in a fierce kiss, then uttered that sweet command - who was Blake not to oblige?
Increasing in confidence, Blake also increased the pressure and depth of his strokes. His hips rolled smoothly as he began to pace evenly inside of Godric, arms shuddering as he tried to hold his weight. His breaths were sharp, his moans almost continuous, lips barely an inch from Godric's mouth. As the desire in him rose, so did the need, and he was building up the speed of his thrusts. It wasn't too much so that it was messy, but enough so that he could fuck Godric and still take the deeper pleasure from it at the same time. Watching Godric's face beneath him was a pleasure in itself, one heightened when Blake thought of the fact he was in control. He was the one fucking Ric. And again the wicked smirk crossed his face, briefly, to be replaced by that of sheer euphoria as he felt his shaft hit the hilt of Godric.
---
Normally, Godric was all too aware of how his partner was feeling, what they were doing, how they were breathing. Tonight he couldn't, though. Tonight there were too many new sensations to focus on, too much going on. He looked up at Blake, watching his face, feeding off his energies. He felt Blake moving inside him, slowly, carefully. He had never felt this way before. Things were happening to him, just happening, and he didn't have to make them happen. Even when he was on the bottom with a woman, he needed to move his hips, hold her upright, pretty much do everything. But Blake was the one in control right now. It was so strange not being in control.
As Blake moved faster within him, Godric closed his eyes, his muscles tensing. He pressed his forehead against Blake's, listening to him breathe. He could feel Blake pulsing through him, his energy, his lust, his sex. Blake seemed to fill him up like rainwater, consuming him totally. Now that he was used to the sensation, used to the invasion, it was starting to feel good. Really good. Fucking incredible. "God," he groaned, his fingers raking down Blake's back. He wanted to pull Blake deep inside him, hold him forever, consume him. "Mmm, yes, don't stop," he begged, clinging to Blake as though his life depended on it.
Godric arched his back against Blake, tension building low in his belly. He pulled Bake closer, kissing his mouth hard. His tongue dove into Blake's mouth, tasting him. He moaned loudly, his lips vibrating. "Fuck," he whispered desperately, running his hands through his lover's hair. His lover. Oh, fuck, just thinking it sent a chill down his spine. The sound of Blake's breath in his ear, the extreme heat of his body, the slick sweat on his skin, the hardness Godric felt inside him... Blake's smooth stomach rubbing against his own erection... he was practically melting against the man. "Oh, Blake," Godric moaned, kissing his face, his neck, his shoulder, anywhere his mouth could reach. "You feel so fucking incredible, fuck, shit, oh, God..."
---
Blake could barely control himself. A sheen was covering his skin from his perspiration, mouth open and gasping for air with a constant stream of moans falling from deep within his throat. It was inexplainable what Godric was doing to him, almost like someone had attached a delirium-inducing drug to his veins. That's what Godric was - a drug, an overwhelming force beneath him. The fact that it was Ric Blake was having sex with, making love to, fucking, all those things (but in particular the last part as it felt so hot to say it in his head...) It just made him feel powerful. He was fucking Ric. Godric Witt. The most incredible man Blake had ever...
"Fucking hell I love you," Blake shuddered, burying his face in Godric's neck and nipping at his skin. Animal instinct was about to take over and he wanted to make this tender moment last. He brought his eyes to gaze into his, kissed him, groaning. Godric was too incredible not to touch, he amplified everything by ten.
But Blake still wanted more. His thrusts began to roll harder, deeper... he was in Godric to the hilt, completely inside him and filling him up. Even the slightest movement of his hips now would send pulses down both their spines. Blake didn't pull out again - this was nice, needed, shallow thrusts doing what his long, needy strokes had done before. But Godric had said to fuck him before now - and Blake had only just been getting started. He wrapped a hand around Godric's shaft, tight and forceful. "Tell me what I'm doing to you," he said, the deep and lustful voice back once again. "Tell me how much you love this."
---
It was the sheer intensity, the despertion in the 'I love you' that came from Blake's mouth that made Godric believe it. He whimpered loudly, closing his eyes. Two people had said it this week, two people had meant it, and it was almost too much to stand. He didn't think he could take it anymore. His whole body was on fire, sensitive, tingling. It was impossible to believe he was here with Blake- Blake, his best friend, a man he had initially thought wouldn't even like him. The man who'd make him angry and frustrated and aroused and guilty. His life was so entangled with Blake now he didn't think they could ever be seperated. It had been stupid to think he could walk away.
Now Blake was moving faster, harder, almost painfully so. Almost. Godric could take a lot of hurt, enjoyed it. Blake's teeth on his neck, the pounding thrust of his hips, the length of his hardness deep inside him... Blake's powerful hand around him, stroking him, coaxing his climax... that lusty voice that you wouldn't even believe the man was capable of. Godric couldn't even believe how forceful how Blake sounded, it was so incredibly arousing. He didn't think he could actually talk, form full sentences. Godric swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. "You... you're... fuck, so good," he panted. "I've never... can't think... you're so..." He looked up into Blake's eyes, their deep darkness penetrating him. "Fuck, Blake, you're so fucking good, God, I've never felt like this before, never been so helpless. Fuck, shit, don't stop, please, just don't stop..." His hands were shaking so hard as he grabbed Blake's shoulders, ran them down his arms. There was such power in those arms. He didn't know how much more of this he could stand, there were so many emotions and sensations coursing through him. If this went on too much longer he'd pass out.
---
Good job that Blake was close then. If he hadn't been before, the words Godric uttered were too sweet and music to Blake's ears to ignore the sheer fire which they drew from him. Those little affirmations, Ric telling him not to stop made it almost impossible to Blake to maintain his strength, the rhythmn and pace he'd kept in Godric's body.
And yet he didn't want it to end. Not yet. Not whilst Godric was still wanting. Blake's strokes of Ric's shaft increased, his breathlessness almost making him delirious. "Please, Ric..." he whispered, almost moaned against him. "I need you to... I want to do it together, not before... I need you to reach it, I want you to come..." Blake presed his lips to Ric's in a whisper of a kiss, barely there. His body was slicker than before and Godric's body almost felt like it had a temperature when he pressed against him. "Take pleasure from me..."
---
It was no question that Godric was taking pleasure from Blake. The demon's energy was seeping through the vampire's skin, sparking his nerves. Godric gasped as the strokes on his shaft were quickened, as Blake's voice swam through his head, begging him to come. He didn't think he could have prevented it if he wanted to. He pulled Blake close, close as he could with the man's hands still between them. He needed Blake as close as he could be, have their hearts almost touching. "Tell me you love me," he whispered, not even realizing the words were coming out until they actually came out. He hadn't wanted to say it, didn't want to need it. But as soon as Blake said it, he came, hard. His fingers curled into Blake's skin, holding him tightly. "Fuck," he whispered, his head swimming.
His body convulsed for a few moments, clenching to Blake as tightly as he could. He didn't think it would ever end, just keep on going, wave after wave of intensity. But it did end, eventually, and he collapsed on the bed, exhausted. His vision was fuzzy, and he wasn't aware of anything around him. It was like lying in a fog, alone. Except he was so warm. He hadn't been warm in so long.
---
If Blake had been in his right mind he'd have analysed that request - he'd have turned in over in his thoughts, mused on it, asked himself why did Ric need this? But he didn't. He accepted Ric needed to hear it, and he wanted to say it. With a final few thrusts and his lungs hurting from the chore of heavy breathing, Blake pressed his lips against Godric's cheek. His fingers searched for Godric's hand and he entwined them together, clinging on to him. "I love you, Godric..." he whispered, taking his time in saying it.
Feeling Godric convulse and pulse beneath him in his orgasm Blake's eyes opened to watch him. Fuck he was sexy, fuck he really was enjoying this - fuck he as moaning because of him... Blake's expression creased and his eyes once again closed as his stomach tightened and he came hard into Godric. He yelled strangled cries, squeezed Ric's hand, continued to stroke his length as he released. There was no way he could think straight - when the intensity stopped, the orgasm having flooded over him, Blake dropped himself onto Ric. He was exhausted. He was out of breath. And completely, utterly drained...
"Oh fuck, Ric..." he shuddered, practically curling into his arms as he tried to recompose himself. "Oh fuck..."
---
As the fog started to clear, and Godric became more aware of his surroundings, he realized Blake's weight was pressing down on him, making him warm. The man's body was so hot, almost burning. Reaching a shaky hand up, he stroked Blake's hair, breathing in his scent. Blake smelled a lot different after sex. He smelled more intense, but also more subdued. It was a strange combination. Blake's heart was still pounding hard, his lungs still drawing in deep breaths against Godric's chest.
Godric wrapped an arm around Blake, rubbing his back. He kissed the top of his head, staying quiet. He didn't want to ruin this moment, didn't want to kill it with his logic and sense and worries. And Godric knew as soon as he opened his mouth he would start worrying and trying to make sense of it. So he didn't say anything.
---
Godric's arm was nice, comforting. What Blake needed, as was the little touch of affection and kiss on the top of his head. The silence was nice to enjoy. To go from business, the hecticness of sex to the nice, lulling aftermeath. And with Ric. That was a special part.
"I... you're incredible, Godric," he muttered finally, quietly and as if he was afraid to disturb the quiet. Godric might not want to talk just yet. He might even have been asleep, there was no way for Blake to tell. "That was..." Blake leant up, looked at him. He was finally calming down, and some strength was coming back to him. "I'm glad you said yes..."
---
Godric smiled at the compliment, touching the side of Blake's face. He didn't feel he'd actually done anything to warrant the compliment, that Blake had been the source of excellence. He looked down at the man, smiling softly. He was glad he said yes too, because he couldn't imagine life now without having had this experience with Blake. But he wasn't going to tell him that. Things had already gone too far, or at least further than Godric had expected. Hope had wanted this to be a flushing of their systems, had hoped this would be all there was to it. It didn't seem that was likely.
"I didn't do anything," he said at last. "You were the one taking charge, making the first moves... you knew what to do." He ran a finger down Blake's cheek. "You were incredible," he said. "You were forceful and gentle and assertive and incredibly sexy." Godric slid his hands under Blake's arms, pulling him closer to his face. "I have never in my life, never... felt like that. Never expected to with a man. And you are, Blake." He stroked a stray hair off Blake's forehead. "You are an incredible man. I know you don't think so. I know you call yourself a 'long streak of nothing', and you can't believe what anyone sees in you. But you are so..." He couldn't think of the right word, the right thing to say. "Wonderful," he finally said. "Just wonderful."
---
No it was definitely not just getting this out of their systems. They'd crossed that line quite a bit before they'd even got to this point. Blake had every intention of doing this with Godric again, made every promise that he would be with Ric as fairly as he was with Hope. He'd divide his time. He'd apply as much love and devotion to both... because he really couldn't see it any other way.
What Godric said made Blake retreat inside, feel humble and just that slight bit emotional. His eyes were smiling though his mouth was not... he was just trying not to ruin this and cry. "I know you think I'm more experienced in this than you. But before it wasn't... it didn't mean this much. You just being here made it all the more special. You are special, to me - you... I don't know how to explain it, Ric, but whilst that should have felt weird and carnal and odd and all those things it felt the most natural thing in the world and - well it scares me a little. But it thrills me too."
Managing to smile fondly at him now, he stroked Godric's face slightly. "I know you get scared of affection, you don't like it. You don't feel like you deserve it and you think you're losing a part of yourself by admitting any feelings... but I do love you Ric. And I think you're the most beautiful man I've ever met."
---
It was safe to say that Blake knew Godric pretty well. While he recounted how he felt, what that evening meant to Blake, it was a hundred times obvious on Godric's face that the more he heard, the happier and more uneasy he was getting. He didn't say anything, just listened to Blake, worry and joy in his eyes. It was one thing to care about someone. It was quite another to have those feelings reciprocated. Blake understood him well, almost too well, because just when Godric was thinking that he didn't deserve this kind of affection from Blake, Blake was calling him on it. He blushed a little, turning his face away. He wanted to deny it, tell Blake he was crazy. Instead he said "Thank you." Wesley had told him he needed to learn to take compliments. And how in the hell was Blake supposed to believe anything Godric said if he couldn't return the favor?
Godric stroked Blake's hair, not looking at him yet. This was a lot of emotion going on tonight, a lot more than he was used to. "I almost... almost was going to do this and leave." He didn't know why he needed to tell Blake this. Maybe to shatter his image of how good Godric really was. Though this information wouldn't really come as a suprise to Blake, since he knew his best friend so well. "I thought it'd be easier on everyone, mostly Hope... if I just told you this was one time. That we did it, and I didn't want to do it again. Then you couldn't be mad at me for walking away, and you couldn't be mad at you for not trying..." His voice trailed off. "But that's pretty obviously not the case," he admitted.
---
Though Ric was right, and Blake had expected some sort of running away from Godric, to have it explained to him... it was disappointing. That Ric would even consider doing so was of course in his nature, but it was nevertheless sad and Blake looked slightly, but not entirely, hurt. "Yeah. I'm glad it's not. Because I have every intention doing this again. If I wasn't so spent I'd do it right now. But Godric..."
Now came the hard part. "I never want you to run away from me. If I feel you're ever pushing me away, for whatever reason, I will slap you so hard you won't know what day it is. I won't give up. Because you have me now. You wanted me, you've got me... so has Hope. Don't bother worrying yourself mental over this. Enjoy it. Because I'm going to." He stroked a line along Ric's chest, kissing the skin. "It's not often you get what you want, but it's hardly ever that you get what you desire most of all... I think we're lucky."
---
'Lucky' couldn't even begin to describe what they were. It was so unlikely that they could end up like this. Godric couldn't help but smile when Blake said he'd do it again, though his smile was quickly erased by what came next. "I never said I wanted you," he said, looking up, turning his face as far from Blake as it could go. "At least... I didn't out loud. I mean I did, I do. But I would've..." He didn't need to say it. They both knew he would have walked. "Blake I'm gonna push you away," he said plainly. There was no sense lying about it. "And you have every right to hit me for it, but... I have to worry. I have to worry that you're taking too much of this than there is to take. I don't know how this is working, you, me... her... but it's not..." He chose his words carefully. "I don't think you and I are a couple."
This was a strange conversation, not the kind of pillow talk they should be having right now. But maybe they needed it. "I didn't agree to this with the expectation that I'd get a.. well... lover." He was going to say 'boyfriend', but his mouth refused to spit that out. "I did it to make you happy. Because I wanted to have you, physically. I didn't expect emotion with it. I don't think... well I don't know... if she's willing to share you that much. I never saw it as all of us, just... you and her. And me kind of stuck on, like an afterthought."
---
Ouch. That was Blake's first thought when Godric corrected him on the 'wanting' front and he inwardly recoiled. Physically he was still glued to the man, didn't want to move, but his emotional state took a good step backwards. Maybe Godric was trying to explain, yeah, and every time he did a low point he went on so Blake didn't feel bad. But as he continued talking, it only just got worse.
So sex... that was it then. That's all Ric had wanted. That's all Blake's mind could focus on right now anyway. "You're more than an afterthought," he told him, trying to hide the well of emotion that was in his voice but he trembled and gave it away. He couldn't do this. He couldn't lie here listening to Godric's confessions and reasonings because he couldn't make sense of them right now. His mind wasn't ready to handle it. He was hardly rational in the first place - Godric should have known Blake was a one to be lead by emotion, and now was one of those times. Shifting a little Blake peeled himself from Godric's body and sat up beside him, hunched slightly. His arms rested on his knees as he stared out infront of him. A long pause....
"You said you loved me," Blake said softly, delicately. He couldn't look at him, just hugged himself. He needed to protect himself right now. "What other possible expectation could you have had of this agreement?"
Bad idea. Bad bad bad bad.... as Blake got off the bed, he bent down to grab his jeans - and only his jeans. "I'm using your shower." He told Ric, then exited the room.
---
Blake would never, could never, understand how to detach. Godric knew how, he was damn good at it. So he could tell Blake he loved him, could mean it, and still never expect anything to come of it. Godric let Blake go, let him get into the shower. Blake needed to shower before he left anyway. Godric had promised Hope that he wouldn't send her boy home dirty. Sitting up alone in the bed, Godric scoffed a little. Her boy. Maybe that was the problem here. He could only see Blake as Hope's, as an attachment to her. And he had been okay with that. But Blake wasn't okay with that. Blake had wide eyed ideals of him and Godric, falling in love, being together. Godric was more realistic. He didn't think Hope would allow that, regardless of how well she thought she could handle this situation, or how much she wanted Blake to be happy. Godric was okay with being second, but Blake was moving him up to a pedestal he didn't think he was ready for.
Pulling his pajama bottoms back on, Godric went into the kitchen to wait for Blake to come out. He wasn't going to let him leave angry, though eventually he would have to leave. Godric sipped the whiskey they'd left out, thinking. Thinking how he could explain this, how he could deal with this. He needed to ask Blake what he wanted from this arrangement. They should have talked more first. Sex always complicated things.
---
Blake was in the shower for around twenty minutes. He wasn't even washing. He just let the water fall over his head and shoulders whilst he rested his crown against the wall, eyes closed. This hadn't been what he wanted. If Ric had done this just to make Blake happy or even to satisfy a need - that wasn't acceptible. Nor was the notion that Blake expected more than he'd got. They were not fuck buddies. That wasn't a term Blake was fond of, nor did it fit them. Nor were they friends with benefits - so if they weren't that, and weren't lovers as Ric had said, then what the fuck were they? He didn't have an ideal of it all being rosy and daisies and having Hope the doting wife whilst he went out to bone his best friend. But there had to be something better, easier to deal with than just... the coldness.
When he returned to the living room he was dressed. His hair was sopping wet and hanging around his face, and he looked dischevelled but at least it was something. Glancing at Ric in the kitchen he gestured to the door. "I'm gonna go. Probably see you tomorrow in halls or... something."
---
Seeing Blake emerge from the bathroom, looking like he did... it was impossible for Godric's heart to stay in one piece. He looked a right mess, and it was Godric's fault, as it usually was. He knew he was a cold man, he always had been. He'd been raised to be cold, and living as a vampire was cold, and his frostiness was only going to hurt people. But there was no fucking way he was letting Blake leave here.
Moving faster than a normal human should, Godric was at the front door, leaning against it. If he could keep Blake away from it, great. If he could keep Blake from exiting from it, just as good. "I can't let you leave," he said. "Not like this. Not again. You always leave me angry and hurt, I'm tired of that." He ran a hand through his hair, doing his best to keep looking at Blake. It was hard, though, since the man looked so... defeated. "I know it's my fault. I know that this isn't what you tak about after you... with someone you..." God damnit, he couldn't even say the words. Someone you just had sex with. Love. Care about. Say something, anything, stop leaving him hanging! He swallowed. "I think I need to know exactly what you want, Blake. From me, from this. And yeah, you've got to spell it out for me. Talk to me like I'm a child. I just... I need to know what I'm dealing with."