Hope O'Shea (hopehasit) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2009-05-20 10:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | blake, hope |
Monday 11/5/07
Who: Blake and Hope
Where: Blake's apartment
When: Monday Morning
What: Blake and Hope make a life altering decision.
After the exhausting few days which had been the weekend for Blake and Hope - in particular Sunday, where they had spent little time out of bed and wrapped around each other - Blake was finally waking up. Hope was passed out beside him, sleeping soundly. He watched her breathing for a few moments, studied her face. He considered stroking her hair but then thought against it. He didn't want her to wake up and realise this day wasn't as perfect as it would have been a week ago. There was no need for that.
Slipping out of bed, Blake checked the time. 7am. Hmm. He'd thought it was later. After wrapping his dresing gown around him he went to his computer, began checking his mail... a few moments passed when he realised something... he could imagine mornings like this. Waking up next to Hope, toddling over to see the day's news. It just seemed right somehow. Nice when he was with her. They were practically living together already, why would it be any different if they were to move places?
Blake spent an hour looking up apartments in Danvers - yes they could get the school ones but he felt Hope would appreciate a place she could change and make her own. Make feel like a home without it being tied to the job. A distance between her life and her work. It didn't necessarily have to be the same thing.
Having printed out about four prospective places (the ones that met the higher criteria) Blake then went off to make breakfast. It was half eight now, and he set about giving Hope a nice wake up call. She wouldn't have class for a while, and he wanted to make this morning special. Just a little. Just in case she happened to wake up and have horrible memories flooding back to her...
Bringing a tea tray into the bedroom, Blake set the large array of breakfast aside, just in her line of view. The printouts were hidden on his side. He then went to crawl over her, kissing along her arm and shoulder, up to her neck, stroking along her collarbone... a nice wake up call if ever there was one. "Morning, Hope... I've made you breakfast..." he whispered, punctuated with kisses to her cheek.
---
Hope had said a prayer before she fell asleep on Sunday night, not that she really prayed ever, but just in case, that Monday would never come. Monday, to her, represented a sharp thrust back into reality. Monday would be the day they had to talk, actually talk, and actually work through things. And she didn't want to. She wasn't ready. She wanted to avoid it as long as possible. She knew it was silly. She knew Monday would inevitably come and she would have to face it, head on, as best as she could.
Of course she had not anticipated that the morning would start with a kiss and the surprise of breakfast in bed. His lips roused her slowly, in more ways than one, a soft moan forming before her eyes finally began to flutter open and she smiled, her hand moving up to stroke down along his upper arm before entangling fingers in his hair to kiss him softly, deeply, and then pull away to peer into his eyes.
Words eluded her. There were many things she wanted to say, could have said, but didn't. Instead, her hand moved to trace fingers along the curve of his lips before she dropped her hand away and glanced over towards the tray. "What have you made me?" She was actually quite hungry. An all day sex-a-thon would do that to a person, apparently.
---
Blake hummed into her mouth, a smile on his face. Then she asked what he had made her and he leant away so she could sit up and fully appreciate what he had prepared. "Orange juice, toast, eggs, bacon, there's some cereal if you like... also hash browns and beans..." He'd gone full out on an English breakfast, basically, minus the fried toast because he wasn't sure if she'd like it.
"Whilst you enjoy... hopefully... enjoy that, I also have..." Blake reached for the papers on the opposite side, then settled himself beside her once the tray was on her lap. "Apartments. To rent. In Danvers.... was looking all morning these were the only ones that really stood out to me. I especially like this one, but of course we'd have to go and look ourselves and stuff..."
He wasn't going to point out the obvious. No doubt she'd do that herself.
---
Hope's stomach showed her appreciation for her by giving a slight rumble. She arched a brow looking slightly shocked and embarrassed as she glanced down. "Well, apparently I am quite hungry and it all sounds.... great." She leaned up to grab a piece of bacon off of the tray to munch on while he gathered whatever else it was he had brought for her.
"Apartments?" She asked, a brow arching slightly as she looked at him incredulously. And then he said that they would need to go look at them together, and the look turned into a smile. "You're.. Are you saying that... that you want to go with me?" There was no question that she would be going, moving, but there had been doubt about whether or not he would be as of yesterday morning. Apparently he had thought about it since then.
"Well when can we go? We should call and make appointments. Are any of them furnished?" The furniture in the apartments they were in now belonged to the school, so it would be easier to just find a place that already had everything they would need than to have to start from scratch to make a place into a home. And quicker. Really it was all about it being quicker more so than the easy part.
---
"Hope, what's the point of being here if you're not here with me?" he said honestly, and quite calmly. He had clearly thought this through, and though he wasn't going to mention him, he knew Ric wouldn't like it. That wasn't important though, like it had been yesterday. "I said I want to be with you. I can't be with you when you're miles away. So yes... I want to go with you."
He gave her a smile, brushed a finger against her cheek lovingly, then sat up a bit. "Come on, enjoy your breakfast. I'll tell you about these... they're all furnished. I especially like this one..." he said, pointing to one which looked quite fancy but wasn't pricier than the rest. "But there's no reason we can't just go and see them all. We can probably arrange to see them any time, I can make some phone calls today. I'll need boxes for my stuff, I chucked them all out after I'd moved in here..."
---
Those words were like music to her ears because she felt the same way really. She didn't want to leave and leave him here, but she didn't want to stay either. She wanted him to go with her, but she wanted him to want to, not to feel like he had to, which was why she had stopped the conversation all together the last time around. And yes, it was a good thing that he didn't mention him or how he would feel about it. This had nothing to do with that man whatsoever.
"Right." She said, and then moved to where she could reach the food as he started talking about the places he had picked out. "I like that one too. Love the furniture, the colors on the walls. Oh! And there's a pool?" She asked, clearly getting rather excited about the prospect. "Maybe we can schedule the appointment early in the week. Then perhaps we'd be able to move in over the weekend." They'd be settled before the holiday then, have five days off straight to spend in their new home.
"Boxes are easy. They've plenty that come into the kitchens here."
---
Blake was so happy she liked the same place he did. When she was getting enthusiastic he nodded. "Yes, a pool. And a balcony, overlooking it. It's only half an hour's drive from the school, too so we wouldn't be far... oh and I'm buying a car. I thought it'd free us both up if we had seperate cars, you wouldn't be driving me everywhere, and we could come and go as we please. I know we want to be together but you being my personal chauffer is not really an ideal, so I'm going to look for one as soon as psosible."
Actually he was quite excited. Americans had BIG cars and he wanted a piece, he was giddy at the thought of looking around a prospective home and seeing the areas... "I'll ring them up after breakfast maybe we can get a viewing for this evening - and I'll check the kitchens for boxes."
---
"That would be so beautiful." Hope said, thinking about it with a smile upon her lips. They could have dinner parties, people over. They would be the perfect hosts. She could just imagine it now. And then he mentioned the drive and a car. "Oh yeah. Yes. A car would be a good idea. Maybe we can do that this week as well." She wouldn't want to have to drive him all over the place. She would, if she had to, but it would be much more convenient if they had two vehicles. "Does the place have a nice garage?" She didn't want to leave her Lotus parked just anywhere.
"Oh! And tomorrow. I'll be free the entire day if you want to do it then." She was scheduled for the infirmary, but she could always miss that easier than she could classes. "Are you going to eat?" She asked, her hand covering her mouth that was mostly full.
---
"I believe it has a garage... would be terrible if it didn't. You need to keep your motor safe. I dunno what car I'll get, but probably be a little more understated than yours." He offered her a smile. "It's a great place. Really. And we don't need to change it - well, unless you get the decorating bug. If we want it, that is... I'll arrange for a viewing tomorrow if we can get one, see if we can't see a few actually..."
It was only when his tummy rumbled that he realised he was quite hungry and he looked at her plate before answering. "Actually - I didn't make myself anything. So no. Not really..."
---
"There is nothing wrong with my car." Hope teased, and then smiled as she asked in a soft voice, "You're still just dying to drive it, aren't you?" She arched a brow slightly and then leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "You can drive it whenever you'd like." Hope shook her head softly. "I'm not really a decorator." Her own apartment had nothing of herself in it really. She had added a few touches here and there, but mostly it was of the scientific variety. "We'll make a day of it." She had no classes and neither did he, not on Tuesday, so really, it would be perfect.
A brow arched as Blake realized that he had not made anything for himself to eat. She laughed and shook her head. "Silly man." She teased. "Get up here and help me eat this then." He had brought her an insane amount of food anyway, more than she could possibly begin to eat, and she didn't mind sharing it with him.
---
"I am not dying to... well okay yes I'm dying to drive it. It feels great in that car, and I want nothing more to hurtle it down the freeway. But I will refrain - for now. I will get my own, safe vehicle. Maybe with a cool design, though..." And there off he was with his motorcar mind, thinking what he'd look good behind the wheel of. So many makes, so little time!
A day of it sounded perfect and he pressed a little kiss to her mouth. "It's a date. And if you want, I shall help relieve you from all your eating duties. It's the least I can do... what with me force feeding you toast..." And he grabbed a slice, shoving it into his mouth. It was good.. he hadn't eaten much yesterday and such sustenance was needed. He picked at the bits Hope left, or wasn't going to eat like a scavenger. But it was all good fun. "Can't wait for Tuesday.." he said, through a mouthful of hash brown.
---
Hope couldn't help but to laugh at that. Most men wanted to drive her car the first time they saw it. No one ever had though. The only person that had ever been behind the wheel of her baby was herself. But she would let Blake drive it. He wouldn't wreck it. She trusted him that much still at least which was a good sign, a very good sign. She laughed again when he spoke of a safe car, finding it funny that he would be the one to pick out the family automobile whereas she was the one with the sport's car. It was normally the other way around. "We'll do that tomorrow too." Car shopping and apartment hunting. It almost seemed like nothing had changed.
"Be my guest." She said, then added in a teasing tone, "You made enough to feed me and three other people anyway." And he really, really had. Hope watched him as he stuffed his face with toast and then with hash browns, a smile forming upon her lips before she leaned in to press a soft kiss against his lips."I love you." She whispered against his lips and then pulled away. "And I am really glad that we are still a we." And she was. She didn't know what she would have done with herself had they not worked things.
They were gong to have to actually talk about things again sometime or another. As nice as it was to just focus on making plans, there was still a real conversation to be had. And maybe now was the time to do it, while they were both receptive, both in a good mood, a good place. "So I know that, when we first started seeing one another and you were also seeing Adora that I was very open to that and I was okay with that and... Well I just want you to know that..." She sighed. What was the best way to word this? "Well I don't really want to share you. I didn't then and I sure don't now but... like I said before, I just want honesty and..." She glanced over at him. "Can we just both promise to always be honest with one another about everything and move on from there?"
---
Blake attacked her breakfast with fevour, scoffing everything he could without leaving her with no options. He smiled into her kiss, his eyes going dreamy for a moment. But he knew the moment couldn't last long - the ethereal dream of make-up couldn't last forever and reality would have to be faced. She was being so honest and Blake owed her his own honesty.
"I agree, and I promise. I really promise... and.." He took a breath, wiping his mouth and figuring out how to word this. "I just want to... tell you... what I feel. If we're being honest I may as well start now." And he fixed her with a very nervous look.
"Hope I don't want to share you either. And I don't - want to be shared. I said I'm yours, and I mean it. What happened with Ric was a mistake - a big, dumb, stupid mistake. You want the truth, well... I'm not going to deny that I wanted him. I was overtaken by desire and lust, and I can make all the excuses in the world but it won't matter. The main thing is in that moment I wanted him. I don't know why. But it was definitely not worth it... at all. It wasn't worth risking my relationship with you, not worth hurting you... me and Ric are friends first above all else. Despite any... underlying attraction under there we'll get over it in time. I still value his friendship. I know he's sorry what he did to you, and I know I'm... going to be trying to make up for it and make it right for years because nothing can tell you how sorry I am. But I value you more than anything, Hope. Much more than the way I treated you shows... sorry doesn't even cover my sheer remorse for making you feel... like you weren't enough, betrayed.... I just... I'll be kicking myself every day for it. But I want to do anything to make it up to you. And I want to share my life with you. That's for definite and will not change."
He wasn't sure whether she'd allow him to kiss her, so despite him leaning in to do so he paused slightly. "I swear, whatever I'm thinking, however personal, I will tell you. No secrets. And I'd like you to do the same."
---
As nice as it was to stay right where they are in this little world where none of what they were avoiding dealing with had even happened, it couldn't last forever. It was likely to crumble if they didn't just go ahead and break it themselves and she would much prefer to just get it over and done with than to sit around and wait for it to all fall apart. She was glad that he seemed willing to do the same.
Hope listened to what he had to say, her lips pursed into a bit of a frown as he spoke about Ric but it wasn't like they could face the issue head on without having to bring him into it. He really was the issue, after all. "I'm not ready to just forgive him." She informed Blake. "I am.. beyond pissed off at him. And I have every right to be so.. please don't try to push me in that direction. It will happen when it happens, if it ever does." She wouldn't want to hate his friend forever and a day, but she wanted to be angry right now and get over it naturally. She wouldn't tolerate Blake pleading his case, not that he was right now, but she wanted him to be forewarned.
As for the rest of it, yes, she had felt like maybe she wasn't enough. Logically, she knew it had nothing to do with that but it was hard not to feel that way when something like what had happened happened. She was doing her best to cope with that, however, and she would continue to do so. It wasn't his job to convince her, it was her job to believe it.
"I promise." Hope replied, a soft smile gracing her lips as she closed the distance between the two and pressed her lips into that kiss. "And if we're starting now.." She began, a slow smile forming upon her lips as she broke away from the kiss just slightly. "I have to tell you that I am... beyond excited about us moving in together and I cannot wait to wake up next to you and to come home to you every single day."
---
Blake understood her anger but at the same time he knew he'd have to tread eggshells with this one. "I'm not asking you to excuse him. You've every right to be pissed off at him, you'd be weird if you weren't. I'm not pushing. See? No pushing..." he raised his hands as if he were backing away from her. He wanted her to see that he was letting her take charge here, and rightly so, but then she leant forward and kissed him. Once again the tingly feeling came back.
"Well.. in line with such honesty, I have to tell you then that I am very excited. But also very nervous - in all my years of relationships I've never wanted to move in with anyone... don't know whether you'll get sick of me after a week, so I'm just hoping that my living habits are good enough for a Queen like you..." He kissed her again, the word Queen reminding him of Ric and his nickname for Hope - Queen Klutz. He smiled, looking at her. "Maybe we can make you your own mini lab where you can retreat if you're sick of me..."
---
Hope was sure that eventually, maybe, she'd be able to be in the same room with Ric without wanting to injure him severely, but for right now, she needed her space, needed to be able to hold onto that anger. It made her feel better. And, honestly, the more pissed off she was at Ric, the less she thought about how pissed off she should be at Blake, not that she wasn't still angry at him, or hurt by him, she was just making every effort to move beyond that.
"I am hardly a Queen, Blake." Hope laughed, shaking her head softly at the thought of that comment. "Have you not seen my apartment? Did you not notice that it's a disaster? I just hope that you don't get tired of my stuff laying all around the place. And I don't need a mini-lab, I've one here if I have to get away."
As for the nickname, she would take offense if she knew about it simply because it wasn't her fault that she was so clumsy. That happened when you'd suffered from a brain injury the way that she had. It would have only given her more fuel to dislike Ric were she to be informed that that was what he liked to call her.
---
"You are a Queen in my eyes," Blake told her honestly, and pressed a small kiss to her lips. "The fact your apartment is a mess only shows me you need a few slaves at your beck and all to make it into a palace. And I won't mind your stuff around - it'll just remind me I'm living with you, my wonderful Hopey... but don't think you can't tidy up now and then, I'm watching you."
He gave her a smile, then shoved some more toast into his mouth. He pulled away and scrambled off the bed, picking up his clothes ready to get dressed again. It was nearing time to get ready and go, so he may as well make a head start. He felt a little better. They had a long way to go until they reached unlimited bliss like before but maybe it was a good wake up call for Hope at least that Blake wasn't as perfect as he seemed. He could mess up, he was not always intelligent... he wasn't wonderful all the time. She could have possibly figured it out in a less... hurtful way but still...
"I'm going to wash... if that's okay..." he asked her, gesturing towards the bathroom.
---
"Which must be why you require glasses." Hope teased, and then laughed as he went on about her needing slaves at her beck and call. "And I suppose you think you're the right fit for the job, then?" She asked, and then laughed softly. "I tidy up plenty, thanks." Usually she only cleaned when she was upset or stressed out, like the other morning. Thinking about that made her frown a little but she quickly pushed that to the back of her mind and brought her focus back around to the now instead of the then.
Neither of them were perfect. They were both guaranteed to muck up from time to time. Yes, it would have been nice to have that lesson taught in a less... nearly cataclysmic way, but at least they were plowing through it. That said a lot about how much either one of them meant to the other. They were going to make it. There was just no other possibility than that.
"Ugh. Why'd you have to remind me?" It was Monday. They both had to work today. She'd rather just lay in bed all day long again if she had her way about it. "Fine. Go wash up. But you have to give me at least one proper kiss before you go even if I do have morning breath." She teased him with a smile, and then leaned up, puckering up her lips.
---
Blake gave a small grin. Kisses he could do, and he didn't even mind the morning breath - not that she really had any. She was too paranoid. Holding on to his dressing gown so it didn't droop, Blake scurried back to her and giggled at her puckerings before he pressed a little kiss against her lips. "You'll get a better one when I'm clean again - so you can dirty me up again."
Still, the temptation was there. He placed another, deeper kiss to her mouth before he smiled at her, stroked her cheek and walked to the bathroom, disrobing as he went.
---
Blake really was too cute. She loved him so much. It almost made her tear up a little because the thought crossed her mind that she could have very well never had another moment like this with him.That was just.. unacceptable. She couldn't imagine her life without him in it. He had become such an integral part of her life in such a short period of time and... Well there was no changing it now. She just hoped that they would be able to work through all of this.
The second kiss, which was deeper, left her wanting more, a hand moving up to touch his chest briefly before he pulled away and she licked her lips. She watched him for a moment, then glanced at the clock, and then she smirked. "Wait for me!" She said, and pushed herself up to her feet, trailing not far behind him into the bathroom.
"Mind sharing your hot water with me?" She asked, slipping out of her pajamas as she spoke, her eyes sparkling mischievously. They had just enough time before classes began for the both of them. May as well take advantage.