Garret J. Foss (cant_touchthis) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-11-06 14:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | declan, garret |
Wednesday October 23rd 2019
Who: Declan and Garret
What: A forced conversation (and sexy times)
Where: First on the grounds, then inside
When: Late day
Rating: NSFW
It took about three minutes of looking at the computer and mulling it over before Garret decided to track Declan down outside and get some answers. Since when had he decided that he wanted to go home? Making a decision to move back to Ireland was huge, and Declan didn't make decisions like this on a whim. So what brought this about all of a sudden?
As Garret strode over the grounds, looking for the telltale pile of clothing that said Declan was shifted and getting his roots into the soil, he thought about if he had been neglecting his friend. It was likely- when Garret got caught up in himself, he tended to neglect things. People, mostly. Maybe Declan thought that he wouldn't really be missed when he left.
Finally, Garret spotted the tidy pile of clothing, and a few yards away he saw the very familiar dryad in his natural, arbor form. "So, I have to assume that Irish soil is somehow better than American soil, hmm?" he said, making his way over and settling himself at the base of Declan's trunk, resting his back against him. "That's got to be the reason you're abandoning me."
Declan had stripped, needing to get back to his bark, his usual self so that he could stop thinking about Garret. About how the man was continually hurting himself in the quest to see himself happy. How unhappy Declan was. He needed out of his head and taking an extended nap, buried in soil, was the best way for it right now.
What he hadn't expected was feeling a solid weight against his trunk and a familiar voice talking. Declan kept still. Maybe Garret would leave him to his misery if he didn't respond. Maybe.
---
When Garret wanted something, he got it. He just did. "No, it's okay," he said, ignoring the fact that Declan didn't even bother to swish his branches in response. "You don't have to tell me. I know that you don't love me properly. And... I know that I've been ignoring you a lot lately. And I'm..." Swallowing, Garret cleared his throat a little. He hated apologizing. It tasted bad in his throat. "I don't want you to leave. It's not my decision and I want to support you in anything you want to do, but I thought you should know that I don't want you to go back to Ireland."
---
Declan shifted, his leaves rustling slightly. Garret just didn't want him to leave because then there wouldn't be anyone sympathetic around. Dec knew his place and it was as a support, nothing else. He was destined to stay in the background unnoticed.
---
It was hard talking to a tree, but by now Garret had done it enough times that it didn't feel weird anymore. It almost felt natural. "Okay. Well I guess you're not feeling very talkative, since you came out here and turned into a tree on me." Since Declan couldn't talk as a tree, it made for a pretty one-sided conversation. But at least he usually tried to communicate somehow. Not today, though. A little rustle, but nothing really expressive. "I wish you'd talked to me about this sooner, though. You just sprang it on me, and you're my best friend. I thought we told each other everything. I didn't see this coming, though. I thought you were happy here." Pausing a little, Garret chewed his lip, running his fingertips over the top of one of Declan's protruding roots. "Is this about Keely? I mean are you... do you miss her? Is that it?"
---
Declan shook his head, his branches shifted and rustling with the movement. This wasn't about Keely. Never had been. Was Garret really so blind?
---
"No?" It had been a longshot, guessing about Keely, but he couldn't think of any other reason that Declan might just up and decide to go home. "Well I don't know what else to think. Unless you're trying to get away from me..." Laughing a little, Garret had intended it as a joke, but when he really thought about it, it was starting to seem more and more likely. Why else would he just spring it on him like this, and not even want to talk about it? Because he was mad at Garret. No, he thought to himself. The world doesn't revolve around you, idiot.
"I can't talk to you like this. I mean really talk to you. I can't force you to tell me what's going on, but... I wish you would. You don't usually keep stuff from me but I can't help but think that you're holding back." Patting the trunk, Garret got to his feet, and turned to face Declan. "I'm going to walk off into the woods over there. If you feel like telling me anything... ask the pines where I am."
---
Declan waited while Garret left, branches lowering, unable to hide the disappointment he felt in himself. When Garret was hidden by the trees, he shifted back, taking a few minutes to get dressed. He didn't even have to ask where Garret had gone. Local dryads were pushing their international friend towards the pathfinder. "Garret?"
---
Sometimes, Garret was certain that he could hear the trees whispering to him, telling him which way to go, or maybe they were scolding him for whatever reason. He didn't know what they were saying, of course, but it was mildly comforting to know that even nature wanted to communicate with him. It was easy to get lost in the trees today because he wanted to forget about the school right now. If Declan wasn't going to be there anymore, he wasn't sure he would like it as much.
Hearing his name, Garret turned to look at Declan, glad to see him as a human for the moment. "Hey," he said softly, brushing hair off his forehead. "So."
---
Dec fluffed his hair with his hand. "Hi." He stood back a bit, not quite sure what to do now. It was painfully obvious that Garret didn't love him, so he couldn't find a reason to stay.
---
Shuffling a little in the leaves, Garret sniffed, waiting for Declan to speak but nothing came. "So you're really going to leave me, hm," he said after a moment. "I mean... I don't mean it like that, like I'm affecting your decision any. But, uhm... well I have to admit that I'm going to miss you like crazy and I really don't want you to leave me. Um, leave. At all." Declan's world, his decisions, had nothing to do with Garret. He could leave if he wanted and Garret couldn't- and shouldn't- say anything about it.
---
Declan sighed. "Tell me why I should stay, Garret?" He leaned back against an oak, dropping down to sit on the ground. "What's keeping me here?"
---
Why should he stay? Why should he go? Garret had been to Ireland, and it had been beautiful, but it wasn't here. It wasn't where Declan belonged. "I... I don't know," Garret admitted, moving to seat himself on the ground beside Declan. He wasn't a fan of sitting on the ground, but he wanted to be near Declan. "Because this is where you belong? I mean... you've been here ten years, why should you leave now?"
---
Declan dug his bare toes into the soil, trying to keep some connection with the earth so he could stay grounded. "Ye're doing a wonderful job answering my question with questions, Garret," he declared softly. "I've nothing to keep me here, not really. Few friends. No lover or partner. I'm easily replaced at my job." He shrugged.
---
Giving Declan a small nudge with his shoulder, Garret shot him a look. "Don't you dare say that," he scolded. "You're completely irreplaceable. People love you. You're good at your job, you're smart, and you always have a smile for someone even when they're being nasty to you. You've got a quality that's so rare to find in people. I don't know anyone else like you, and it would probably break my heart if you left."
---
"Probably," Declan muttered under his breath. Even now Garret would only toss him crumbs. "A job, not matter how much I may love it, doesna keep me warm at night, Garret. I've no' found that here. So maybe home is better."
---
"Well have you even tried?" Maybe he was being a little harsh, but Garret found himself feeling a little desperate. The way Declan was speaking made it sound like there was no reason for him to be here, and Garret was having a hard time finding arguments. "I haven't seen you with anyone in years, you've never even mentioned someone you find interesting... I mean when was the last date you had? Maybe you just need... I don't know. I'd help you. I know you're kinda shy but you're amazing, sapling. If you'd just put yourself out there..."
---
Biting his lip, Declan thought about the ways to handle this. It was easier to avoid the real reason when the internet was separating them. "The last date I had was with you. And you'd brought it up as a joke." He chewed on his lip some more. Garret told him to come clean, so maybe he should. Taking a deep breath, he slowly released it and turned to Garret. At that moment, everything he was thinking left his mind. He did the only thing he'd wanted to do for weeks.
Declan leaned forward and kissed Garret.
---
If the last date Declan had had was with Garret, that was just... depressing. He deserved someone wonderful, someone sweet and genuine and loyal like he was. Someone almost exactly the opposite of Garret. He smiled a little, about to speak, when suddenly Declan was looking at him in a certain way, an oddly familiar way, and then suddenly the space between them closed and Declan's lips were on his own. Jerking his head back slightly, Garret laughed a little, confused. "What are you-" And then, finally, it hit. Clarity hit like a slap in the face and Garret's eyes widened slightly. Why Declan stayed loyal even though Garret didn't deserve it, why there wasn't someone else in the dryad's life, why he was always so supportive but always seemed sad when Garret talked about his love life. It had always seemed like just a great friendship, unlike any Garret had ever had, but now... Now it had changed.
"H-how... how long have you...?"
---
Jerking away wasn't the reaction Declan wanted. It was expected, but not wanted. Sighing, he dropped back to the tree again, tucking his knees up for comfort and space. "Not sure." That was a lie. He just didn't want to admit how long it had been.
---
Swallowing, Garret leaned his own head back against the tree, looking up into the canopy. "Oh," he said quietly. After another moment of quiet, and thought, Garret had to ask what he usually wondered when someone decent took interest in him.
"Why?"
---
Declan sighed. "It doesna matter. I'll head back t' Eire tomorrow." He couldn't stay now. Not after having admitted his love and knowing Garret would still want Lloyd or Malakai or Rorie.
---
Sighing himself, Garret turned his head slightly to look at Declan. "So that's it? You keep this secret bottled up, and then when you finally tell me, you're going to leave me? Just like that?" Smirking a little, he brushed along Declan's arm with the back of his fingers. "You're sounding a lot like me."
---
"Aye. That's it," he agreed. "I canna stand by and watch ye fall in love again with three men. It hurt too much the first time, and the second. I canna do it again."
---
"Declan..." What was there to say, though? Declan was probably right in wanting to get away from it. He was a sweet, wonderful man, and Garret knew that he could never be good enough for him. "I don't know what to say now. I wish I could be enough for you, that I could... give you what you want." Looking down at his hands, Garret wanted to touch Declan, to comfort him, to do something more than just sit there and apologize and feel like the worst person alive. "I know you wouldn't want to share someone, y'know, like... like how I am. And I don't blame you."
---
Declan licked his lips. "Garret. I've known ye for years now. I've loved you for a long time. Do ye not think I'd know you, and what I'd be getting into if I were to be with you?" This was why Dec hadn't wanted to tell Garret. Even though he claimed to want to know, he really didn't. Because there was nothing that could be done.
---
Knowing how someone was, and accepting it, were very different things. People had said before that they were fine with Garret, and how things worked, but when push came to shove they weren't as okay with it as they'd told him. It didn't end well after that realization. But Declan never said something he didn't mean.
"You really mean that?" he asked slowly. "I mean... you really think you'd be okay with... just... how I am?"
---
Declan shrugged. "I'd be jealous a bit, aye, but I know ye, Garret. I've loved ye for years. Why would that change now that ye know?" He turned his head, resting it on his arms as he looked uncertainly at his friend. Could Garret even be called that anymore? Or had Declan ruined everything?
---
Picking at the leaves on the ground, Garret shivered slightly, the chilled air seeming to suddenly hit him. Never had he ever thought that Declan would think of him in that way. It had always been very clear that they were friends, sometimes sexual partners but never anything more than that. Garret had never let himself see Declan as anything more. "People tend to change their minds," he said quietly. "No one's ever true to their word." Slowly, his hand inching along the ground, Garret touched Declan's bare foot, just above his dirt covered toes. "Except you. You never tell me anything you don't mean. Never have... and I don't think you ever would."
---
Declan wiggled his toes and shifted just a bit closer into Garret, sharing body heat and trying to take as much attention from this man as he could. He didn't want to lose Garret, but he would take what memories he could. "I wouldna lie to you without good reason."
---
"I know." Few people in the world were like Declan. Most people were shrouded in secrecy and lies, deceit. Not Declan. Garret had always loved that about him. "I never thought you'd ever look at me like that, to be honest. I kinda thought you were too good for me." He still thought that, but Garret was more of an opportunist than he was a martyr. And if Declan would even consider being with him, would see him as someone that could possibly make him even remotely happy...
His hand moved higher on Declan's leg as his body shifted closer, turning more to face the dryad. "I've always thought of you like that, you know. But I knew you didn't... well, at least I thought you didn't return the sentiment."
---
Declan frowned, trying to ignore the hand on his leg. Garret didn't mean that. He was a brilliant smoothtalker. The Irishman had seen it in effect more than once, so it was a little hard to believe it now. "Why wouldn't I?"
---
"Why would you?" Shifting even closer, Garret licked his lips, releasing a soft breath. "You're so... you're so much better than I am. You're a good person." The thought of this happening, of Declan wanting this like he had wanted it before so many times, was only just now starting to sink in. This could happen, if he wanted it. How could Declan want him? "Are you really sure about this, Declan?"
---
"Too long a conversation t'have outdoors, Garret love," he murmured. "But suffice to say you're a good person, too. Ye've fallen into the trap of letting people believe what they would of you, rather than seeing the best." He licked his lips and shrugged. "I'm not so sure of anything right now."
---
No one else saw Garret like Declan did. He wasn't so sure that there was a "best" side to him, but Declan was steadfast in his belief that Garret had goodness in him. "Maybe we should go inside," he murmured huskily, looking into Declan's eyes. "Get warmer."
---
"Aye. Probably." Declan wasn't sure any longer where he stood with Garret. Now that he'd come clean, what was he to do? Should he still leave? Should he stay? He rose silently to his feet, moving back to the clearing to gather his shoes and socks. "Where to?"
---
Smiling as he followed Declan, Garret couldn't help but laugh a little to himself. Despite how long they'd known one another, it seemed that Declan could never lose some of his naive charm. Coming up behind Declan, Garret wrapped his arms around the other's waist, holding him close and pressing a kiss to the side of his neck. "My place," he murmured playfully.
---
Declan closed his eyes at the kiss, wanting to lean back into that embrace. "Won't your boyfriend get jealous?" He knew Pais wouldn't care, but he needed to poke at Garret a bit, put some distance between them in case this was all just a big joke.
---
Purring softly, Garret held Declan tighter, and kissed his skin again. "He might," he admitted, splaying his fingers over the other's stomach. "But he'll get over it. Or we can go to your place, if you'd like."
---
Declan licked his lips. "You're teasing me now, aren't ye?" He stepped forward, getting out of Garret's grasp so he could think. And to protect himself. Loving Garret was much different from loving Keely.
---
Surprised, Garret let his arms drop when Declan stepped away instead of keeping hold of him. Was he doing something wrong? Wasn't this what Declan wanted? "I... no, of course not," he said softly. "Why would you think I'd do that to you? I was... isn't this what you wanted?"
---
Declan turned, biting his lip. "Aye. 'Tis. But I've wanted it, wanted you so long, that I canna help but think this is a dream. A cruel joke me mind is playing on me." He held his shoes awkwardly, tapping them against his thigh from nerves.
---
Slowly, Garret's trademark smirk crept over his lips, and he stepped closer to Declan, backing him up against the nearest tree. "Oh aye?" he asked teasingly, his hands resting on the other's waist as he brought his body close, until their chests were touching. "Does it still feel like a dream now?"
---
Declan backed up, feeling the bark through his shirt, Garret pressed to his front. "I've realistic dreams."
---
Sighing softly, the end tinged with a growl, Garret gripped tighter to Declan's waist. "Do you want me to kiss you right now? Or do you want me to walk away?"
---
Given the option, Declan took the decision from Garret. The dryad dropped his shoes and quickly threaded his hands through Garret's thick hair, tugging his mouth down for a full kiss. Not that peck from before. Declan wanted to know this was no dream.
---
It was a sudden move, and a rough kiss, and Garret gasped hard in surprise. The noise quickly melted into a soft, deep groan, his body pressing against Declan's. This sure wasn't a dream, and it was probably the last thing he'd expected to happen today. But he had thought about this hundreds, if not thousands of times, in all the time he'd known Declan.
---
Declan groaned with Garret. This was perfect. Bloody perfect. Right now, he didn't care if this was a dream or not. If he could have Garret for even a little while, he would take it. The memory itself would sustain him for decades.
Declan kissed with all the experience he'd gathered in the ten years he'd known Garret. So he still wasn't an expert, but he was far from the quaking, blundering novice he'd once been.
---
Everyone else in Garret's life melted away, the focus only on those Irish lips pressing hard against his own. There had been so many nights filled with this exact moment, though it only existed in Garret's mind. Reality was so much better. "Declan," he whispered, his hands finding their way beneath the soft fabric of the dryad's shirt, fingertips running over the smooth skin. "Come home with me?"
---
Declan whimpered. "Always. Ye know this." He licked over Garret's lip, not wanting the kiss to end. Every time in his drea when the kiss ended, he woke up. He didn't want to leave this, this interlude with Garret.
---
Shaking his head slightly, Garret drew back enough to look Declan in the face, to meet his eyes. "No," he whispered seriously. "I didn't." Any time Garret would flirt with Declan, tease him, suggest, he was shot down. He had always assumed that it was because Declan only saw him as a friend, no more. But now he knew that it was because Declan didn't want to get too close to him, to get hurt. He didn't blame him.
---
Declan never thought that Garret would be serious and follow through on those offers. Or lose respect for him. "I would. Anytime ye ask, I've wanted t'say aye."
---
If it hadn't been daylight still, and if they weren't on school grounds, Garret would have pulled Declan down to the ground and had his way with him right then and there. Instead, he kissed him again, quick but forceful, then took Declan by the hand and started walking toward the staff apartment building. The shoes could sit out for a while. There were more important matters on hand.
---
What shoes? Declan laced his fingers with Garret and followed along, taking the time to really stare at the man's ass. Mother Earth, he really wanted to run his tongue over it, bite and taste it. He didn't even realize they'd reached the staff apartments until he had to go upstairs.
---
The closer they came to Garret's apartment, the harder his heart pounded. Hopefully this was becoming more real for Declan, but for Garret it was seeming more and more like a dream. How could he be walking to his apartment with Declan, hand in hand, just waiting to be inside the doors before all lusty hell would break loose? He'd never thought this would happen with Declan.
Reaching through the door to unlock it, Garret pulled it open and stepped inside, pulling Declan in with him. The door close gently, so as not to slam and disturb the rest of the floor. And then his lips immediately found Declan's again, claiming that mouth for his own.