Garret J. Foss (cant_touchthis) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-10-29 20:39:00 |
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Entry tags: | declan, garret |
Monday Morning October 21st 2019
Who: Declan and Garret
What: A bed being invaded
Where: Declan's apartment
When: Midnight
Rating: PG
It was probably midnight, maybe later, when Garret climbed out of bed and padded his way out into the hallway, unable to sleep. He gave Pais enough water and food to last the night, though he neglected to put on a tee shirt before leaving the apartment. He didn't know how long he'd be gone, so he didn't bother bringing anything with him. He didn't even bother with shoes. Life was weighing heavily enough on his mind to keep him warm enough in the chilly night.
He phased through the familiar door, like he had thousands of times before, never knocking and rarely with prior notice. Not that he thought Declan would mind. Declan never minded, not even in the middle of the night, not even when Garret just talked to him and ran on a marathon of words, his lips never stopping as he worked through a problem. Not even, hopefully, as he climbed into bed beside the sleeping dryad (thankfully not a tree this evening) and forced his way into the other's arms, forehead resting on Declan's chest.
Declan could hear the whispers from his houseplants even while he slept, the warning that there was someone in his home, thankfully someone familiar since they weren't kicking up a fuss. He shifted and grumbled softly as he woke up, stifling a yawn with his hand as he made room for Garret. "Hey there, love," he mumbled sleepily.
---
Declan was perfect in the way he was, always quiet and accepting and he never told Garret to leave. Never. Nuzzling into the other's body, Garret put an arm around him, and sighed. "I don't mean to wake you," he lied, and they both knew it was a lie. "I can't sleep. Thinking. You ever just... think too much? Just never stop thinking?"
---
"I know," Declan sighed, accepting the lie with the sweet intention it'd been given. "I've had me moments." He stretched slightly, wrapping his arms around Garret and tugging him closer. "Ye wanna talk about it?"
---
In truth, no, Garret didn't want to talk about it. He just wanted Declan to magically be inside his head and know all the thoughts in there, so he wouldn't have to say them out loud, so he wouldn't have to hear his own insecure, selfish stupidness in words. He didn't want there to be anything to talk about. But he had crawled into the dryad's bed in the middle of the night because he couldn't stop thinking about it. Maybe letting the words pass his lips would get them out of his head. "I think I'm going to leave them," he whispered after a long moment's pause. "All of them. I've sworn off relationships for ten years and now I remember why, and I'm just, I'm watching it fall apart and the worst of it is that they don't even know it. And I don't know if this makes me the most selfish man alive, or just the worst overall."
---
Declan took a deep breath and released it slowly, trying to wake up fully because Garret needed his attention. Stroking his friend's back, he listened patiently, waiting for Garret to get it all out. Surely he had more to say if this was what was bothering him all evening.
---
There was more quiet, and breathing, before Garret finally scoffed. "Lloyd is leaving me," he admitted finally. The heart of the matter. "He used to have a way he looked at me, kind of a... loving longing, like he would always be glad to see me, like he always wanted to be around me. But he's found someone else, some... young guy that is apparently just too damn perfect." Another scoff, this time laced with scorn and derision. "I don't want to lose him. I don't want him to move on, find someone else, to ignore me like he does now, to lose that look on his face. I don't want to lose my Dragon. So I thought to myself that I could change, I'll leave Rorie and Mal and just be with Lloyd and do babies and marriage and family and all that but... I mean really who am I kidding? I'm not that guy. But it made me think, about if I could do it, about leaving Rorie and leaving Mal and I took a step back and really looked at how things are, and... I don't think it's right. I mean I don't think it's what I really want."
---
"What is it that you think you want?" Declan's heart ached for his friend. Someone who was so good at his core, caring and with noble intentions didn't deserve this. Okay, granted a lot of what Garret tried to do didn't work out well, but Declan knew that Garret was still a good and decent man. He wanted to help his friend.
---
Shifting slightly in Declan's arms, Garret sighed. "I want to be happy with what I have. But I'm not. I never am. I always mess it up and change my mind and hurt everyone around me, and I rush into everything. Even when I go slow, I'm rushing." Declan made the best sounding board because he rarely talked, but he always asked questions. He didn't try to fix things before he knew what was happening.
"I can't be the faithful family man Lloyd wants. Rorie has... he's not the same person anymore. I don't know if I'm ever going to look at him like an equal, and not as someone I need to protect because that's who I fell in love with. He's a father now, a provider, and I'm... it's just different. And not in a way I like. And Mal, well it..." With a soft groan, Garret shook his head. "Just, Mal."
---
"What about Mal?" Declan kept up his gentle strokes, but he wanted to hear Garret work through this. Everytime it came to talking about the hound, Garret shrugged it off and ignored it. That wasn't healthy. If there was something bothering him, he needed to put it into words.
---
It was hard to put Mal into words, and Garret knew that Declan didn't truly understand him. But he didn't want to invade Declan's bed, wake him from his sleep and then refuse to answer questions. "He's three thousand years old and he can't... he doesn't understand emotion very well. It's hard to talk to him and make him understand. Plus, he bites me. I don't think we've ever had sex where he doesn't leave a mark. It's... I don't know. I'm not a chew toy, am I? But that's how he shows affection. So I can't complain much."
---
"Have you talked to him about it? I'm sure he's more human than he wants to admit." Declan bit his lip lightly for a moment. "Maybe he's overcompensating. Trying to prove to himself that he's more one than the other."
---
Sullenly, Garret had to admit "No. I haven't said anything." It felt stupid to complain about it. After all, Mal was a hellhound, they didn't tend to fall in love. But this one had, and Garret should have felt lucky enough for that, not tedious that that love left him with scars.
---
"Maybe you should." Dec kissed Garret's temple, unable to help the display of affection. "What is it that ye want from yer hound?"
---
"I don't think he can give me what I want," Garret admitted quietly. "But it's not his fault. I don't know what I want. It's not him, it's not any of them. It's me. I can't sit still with anything. So I think that I need to just... go back to what I did before. Nothing serious, no relationships. Not drag people down with me. Figure out what I want, what I really want... maybe fix whatever's wrong with me. It's got to be something, doesn't it? Most people by this age know what they want, they've got things figured out. But I'm nowhere close, I think."
---
Declan shook his head. "It's not with ye. Ye've had a lot of changes in the past several years. Finding out ye canna die being one of them. That changes a man, to learn ye're practically immortal. Ye're practically a teenager in those terms." Dec shifted so he could look at his friend better. "Would ye expect a fifteen year old to know what he wanted?"
---
Aye Declan, even the optimist. Garret couldn't help but smirk. "I'm not fifteen, Dec," he said gently. "I'm fifty. No matter how old I may ever be, that doesn't make me young now. I'm still a grown man acting like an imbecile. But... I think I'm handling it decently. I'm taking a step back before we all get in too deep. Making decisions instead of just charging ahead. Thinking about consequences." Granted, some moodiness and insecurity would go along with it, but he was still working toward maturity.
---
"Fifty or not, ye're still sexy." Yup. Waking Declan up in the middle of the night was not the best way for him to keep his mouth shut about things he shouldn't say. "But aye, ye're handling this well. Just..doona forget to talk to those involved. They are adults, too, and should understand."
---
Growling a little, Garret rolled his eyes. "Aww, do I have to?" Of course he did. He had always hated Rorie and Mal making decisions without him, he hated Lloyd holding things in. It was only fair. "Fine. I will. Because you're right, I should. You're always right." With a small chuckle and a kiss on Declan's chin, Garret ran a hand down Dec's back. "Or I'll just run away with you and we'll elope and disappear into the rainforest or something together and be insanely happy, hmm?" With a sneaky grin he grabbed Declan's ass, squeezing firmly and then patting it playfully.
---
Well Garret seemed to be feeling better. He was all flirty again. Declan turned his head into the pillow to stifle a yawn, his accent coming out thicker from lack of sleep. "Aye, ye must, lad. As for running away, I doona do so well in the rainforest. Me bark protests." He curled closer into Garret, nuzzling his face into his friend's throat. Mmm. Smelled good and was comfortable. Perfect.
---
Laughing, Garret shifted himself to accomodate Declan, wrapping both arms around him. "Why do you have to ruin all my plans?" he teased. "Thank you, though, sapling. You're probably the best friend I've ever known. You've never complicated things and I really, really like that about you."
---
Ouch. Friend zone. Figures Garret wouldn't see him as anything but that. It was a good thing his face was buried in Garret and it was dark so he couldn't see the momentary flash of pain cross his features. That, or the way his stomach tightened. "Aye. What are friends for?"
---
Declan was always there, listening and giving perfect advice and always knowing just what to say. "You're perfect, you know that? I think if I could be anyone in the world, you know, switch lives for a day, I'd pick you. Simple, uncomplicated, sweet, soft, pretty, amazing you." Stroking his fingers in Declan's hair, Garret pressed a kiss on his forehead. "I'm so jealous of you sometimes. Did you know that?"
---
Everything Garret said, while sweet, was like a kick to the stomach. Alright, Declan got the point. He was a great friend. Didn't need to rub it in. Still, he didn't want to ruin what they had, so he kept silent. "Ye'd be bored being me. Why would ye be jealous?"
---
"I'm jealous because you've got yourself together. I love that you can just... look at something and see the simplest solution, that you just seem to know what to say, what to do. I love that you're genuine. I know that I can say the right things at the right times but it never holds the same weight as when you say it. It never runs as deep." Declan didn't lie, and he didn't deceive, and he didn't hold back. He just was who he was and Garret had no clue how to be anything but what other people wanted to see. "I'm jealous because you're a real person, and when you finally fall in love with someone, they're going to be so damn lucky to have you."
---
"Oh." What else was he supposed to say to that? Garret was sweet, giving Declan more credit than he was due. He wasn't all that and a bucket of feathers (was that the right phrase?) and he certainly wasn't always honest. Like now. He had things to say, but he wouldn't. Declan wouldn't spoil what Garret had come to cherish. He wasn't that selfish.
---
"Oh?" Pulling back slightly, Garret held that familiar, half cocky and half sneaky smile on his lips. "That's all I get? No snarky comeback, no patented Declan zinger? I have to admit I'm a little disappointed. You're usually so good at putting me in my place when I start spouting flowery words."
---
Damn. Declan had forgotten that part. At least he had a ready excuse. "It's the middle of the night. My snark is turned off," he yawned. "I could always kick you out of bed. You steal the covers anyways."
---
"Nooooo," Garret whined, wrapping a leg around Declan's waist to keep him close by. "Don't kick me out. I'm warm and comfortable and I promise not to steal the covers. I promise. You can keep the covers, hell you can have my pants if you want them, just don't kick me out."
---
Declan snorted. "I've been in yer pants, if ye remember. Why would I want the material?" He scooted back a bit in the bed, giving Garret more room so he wasn't practically on the edge. "Fine. Ye can stay. But if ye steal, it's the couch for ye, aye?"
---
He knew Declan wouldn't kick him out. He never did. Still, Garret purred happily when Declan made room for him, and he took advantage of it, scooting even closer and getting his body as close to Declan's as possible. "What I steal your heart?" he asked with the fakest innocence possible. "Is that allowed?"
---
He's just teasing, he's just teasing, Declan had to remind himself. That wasn't fair! Still, two could play the game. "What if ye already have?" He made sure there was just enough flirt in his voice that Garret could ignore the honesty.
---
In the ten years that had passed, Declan had become a fair opponent in these little banters. He had surely come a long way since they'd first met. "I'd ask if you want it back, first," Garret replied smoothly, letting his leg slide down Declan's, tangling up in the other's legs. "That's just polite. And if so, then I'd give it back. Buuuut..." Purring, and nipping Declan's earlobe, Garret ground softly against him, his fingers splaying over Dec's back and drawing their chests together. "If you don't want it back, I suppose I'd have to make it worth giving away, hmm?"
---
Declan had come a long way, but he still wasn't his best in the middle of the night, and certainly not when the topic was falling in love with Garret. "Ye wouldna need me with so many others at yer feet." Declan needed to stop this before he opened his mouth and said something he'd regret in the morning. Like admitting how he really felt. Another yawn caught him by surprise and he snuggled into Garret and the pillow. "Tease later, sleep now?"
---
Pouting a little, Garret did nonetheless concede to Declan's request. It was the middle of the night, after all. "Okay, sapling. Go back to sleep, and I'll try not to hog all the covers." Moving his hands to a more chaste location, he kissed Declan on the forehead, letting his lips linger a moment. "Love you, baby. And thanks for being the best." Garret wasn't tired, but he would keep still at least until Declan fell asleep. He didn't want to come wake him up and then just vanish on the guy. Plus, Declan always smelled good, and it was comforting when he was troubled. Declan was the best comfort in the world.