Lily Otter-Fishman (otterfish) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-06-03 14:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | fox, lily |
Saturday May 30th 2009
Who: Lily and Fox
What: Drinkin'
Where: Some dive bar
When: Evening
Rating: TBD
George Thorogood was playing tinnily on the shitty jukebox, blaring almost too loud to be coherent. It was giving Lily a headache, but then again, that could have been from all the whiskey. She didn't even like whiskey, but when you went to a honky-tonk bar with a loud jukebox playing terrible music, that was what you used to drown your sorrows. She wasn't entirely sure what she was trying to drown away, though. Finn was leaving, sure, but he was only going for a few months. He'd come back eventually. And Rez wasn't really gone gone, he was just with his new happy family and all his new babies and shit. And Lily didn't even have Lyle to fall back on because he had gone home to deal with his dad's death. Just another something to drink about.
There were seven shotglasses sitting at her table, and the waitress brought over another for her with a wary smile on her face. Lily nodded, tossed it back, and swallowed grimly. Her stomach had been empty to begin with, so already she could feel the heavy effects of the alcohol. The room suddenly spun on her, and she grabbed the table to stay upright, then rested her forehead onto it. This wouldn't be the first time she'd passed out in a bar, and it wouldn't be the last.
Fox had been in the bar for awhile, nursing a couple drinks while he watched the lone lady toss back more than a few. She looked vaguely familiar, but it wasn't until she scowled just right that he recognized her. Well, not her name but that she was from TJS. She didn't look like she wanted company, but it didn't hurt to ask. Grabbing a couple shots, he held one in each hand, sliding into the seat across from her and pushing one of the glasses over. "Here."
---
Lily was a scowler, that was for certain. In fact she was scowling right now, though it was hard to tell with her face down on the table. Feeling a slight shift as Fox sat down, she looked up at him, her eyes watery and bleary. Who the hell was this person sitting at her table? When she saw the glass being offered, though, that brought forth a weak smile. He was a friend. "Thanks," she mumbled, lifting her head up enough to sip it down. Grimmacing, she made a small noise of distaste. God she hated whiskey. "C'n I getcha anything?"
---
Fox nodded, sipping on his own. He'd grown up with the taste of whiskey in his mouth, so it was just fine for him, but it was obvious she didn't enjoy it. "Yeah. The secret to making you smile." Fox leaned on the table. "You're too pretty to scowl like a trucker."
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Staring at him a moment, just staring, Lily sized him up. And then she scoffed at him, heartily. "You can save your lines," she told him dully. "M'not gonna smile for you. If I had... any desire t'smile..." With an accompanying sweeping gesture on 'any', "I wouldn't be in some podunk bar drinkin' myself t'death."
---
"Fair enough," Fox nodded. "It was worth a shot anyways. So why don't you tell me what's got you in the dumps instead? Something from TJS?" Considering most things happened from the school, he figured it would be a good guess. Maybe she could get it through the whiskey that he was a friend from the school.
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With a drunk little chuckle, Lily shook her head. "Why don't you tell me what it is you're doin' here? Is it somethin' from TJS?"
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Fox shook his head. "Nope. I just come out here every once in awhile for a change of scenery." He finished off his whiskey, leaning back in his seat. "I'm Fox, by the way."
---
"I know who you are," she said, waving her hand at him dismissively. "I r'member you." She remembered from a while ago, he had been like Public Enemy Number One on the gossip chain. When he drumped Frankie it had been like he'd torn off a mask and revealed himself as Hitler. The ghosts had loved the entire ordeal, gossippy little things they were.
"So you just, you just, you just.... casually come in and drink every now and again? No reason or nothin', just... Just cuz?" Laying her arm on the table, and resting her head on her arm, Lily sighed. "That must be nice. That sounds reeeeeally nice. Calm, y'know? Easy."
---
"Oh." Right. Sometimes Fox forgot that pretty much everyone in the school knew who he was. Damned mess with Frankie really blew things up for him. Maybe it would be better if he just left. Granted Cassie, Kate and Maggie would probably be upset. But they'd be the only ones, really. No one else would care. "Yeah. Change of scenery's nice."
---
Sniffing, Lily nodded, falling quiet for a moment. She could appreciate needing to get away. Finn needed to get away, and so he was leaving her behind. She was in the way, and he needed space where she wasn't. Not just her, she knew, but everyone. Still, it stung to think that he didn't want her around. Finn had said she could go, if she wanted, but it wasn't the same as him wanting her there. And he obviously didn't.
Looking over Fox's face, and the slight change to it, Lily smiled a little. He wasn't putting on his act right now, wasn't trying to be flirty or coy. Something had crossed in his mind and made him lose his bravado. "Yer handsome," she told him, in case he hadn't already known.
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Fox had been staring at the table, but at the comment he pulled his up. "Thanks, but I'm not the good looking one here at the table." Sure it was a line, but it was an honest one. She was quite lovely, even through the alcohol.
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"Aaaaaannnnd it's gone now." Chuckling, Lily pulled herself upright, waving over the waitress for another round. The room was very spinny right now. "You're one of those... those... those guys. The ones that gotta be all... cheesy and... line-y and shit. I bet you got a practiced smile." Leaning forward, she pushed up the corners of his mouth with her fingers. "C'mon, c'mon.... show me the mirror smile! Th'one you practiced when you were twelve!"
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Fox laughed and pushed her hands away. She was funny when she was drunk. "Only if you tell me your name." He found it interesting that she only thought him handsome when he wasn't paying attention. Part of him wondered why.
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With a lopsided smirk, Lily tsked at Fox. "Can't," she said with a shrug. "Dunno for sure. I used t'be someone, but I wasn't real. Then I was real but the someone I was was.... for someone else. An' now that someone is gone, and the other someone's gone, and now I'm just... I dunno who I am anymore. If m'real or not."
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"Well that's interesting." And yet, not at all surprising. Weirder shit had happened at Tiberius. "Well, if you were going to name yourself, what would it be?"
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"I wouldn't." Swallowing, Lily took in a slow breath, feeling the threat of everything coming back up. Thankfully it subsided. "I wouldn't bother, cuz I don't matter all that much, when you get right to it. You know what I mean? No, no, you don't." Wrinkling her nose, she shook her head. "I bet you matter to people. Guys like you always... always got a flock of people who like you. Am I right? D'you have a flock of people?"
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Fox shook his head. "No. Don't have a flock of people. I'm usually a loner." Really, when it came down to it, he believed that everyone would be better off if he just left. Why would they care?
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"Liar." The word was spoken with contempt, but Lily was watching him closely. Maybe he wasn't lying. It didn't seem right, though, because handsome guys like that, guys who knew the right lines to say, always had people who loved them. People who envied them, looked up to them.
---
Fox snorted. "After all the shit went down with Frankie, I lost everyone I talked to except for two, and they haven't been around much. Cassie's been all over her boyfriend and dealing with her own shit while Kate's off doing fuck knows what." Fox shrugged. "When it comes down to it, I'm on my own. Same as always."
---
Resting her chin on the table, Lily nodded, understanding completely. "Likewise," she told him, flopping a hand onto his arm and patting it drunkly. "M'always alone. Six years alone, then six months in rehab alone, then...." Sighing softly, she closed her eyes for a moment. "But now I am again. All that stuff in the middle, when you think it's gonna change, and it doesn't change, does it? Cuz it always ends the same. An' it's always your fault too, all the time always. I could... I mean I could still be with him but it would just end, ten days from now, or a month... I'm not that person, y'know?" It made sense in her own head, this half conversation, so she assumed it made sense in his head as well.
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"You've been through a lot, huh?" Fox patted her arm in sympathy. He knew that feeling, though he hadn't been to rehab. "Exactly! I've no idea what I fuckin' did, but apparently it was wrong. And even when asking people, they either scoff or just tell me I should know already." Grumbling, he thumped back in his seat. "I know exactly what you mean."
---
"I know what you did," Lily told him somberly. "You were yourself. That's all. You were just you, and there's somethin' about YOU that's just so... goddamn... broken. And it's never gonna get fixed so no matter what, you'll always be wrong. No matter WHAT!" Pounding her fist on the table, the shot glasses shook with the vibrations.
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Fox nodded, then blinked. Wait, was she saying it was a bad thing for him to be himself? That no matter how hard he tried he could never do things right? Well shit. That was something to urge a man to drink. Raising his hand, he signalled for another round.
---
That realization in Fox's eyes, the dawning that regardless of intent, or effort, nobody would ever be satisfied, was all too familiar for Lily. She nodded knowingly as he ordered another round, not saying a word about it. They seemed to be in the same boat together, flawed and useless creatures. "My name's Lily," she said quietly. "But it didn't used to be. I usedta be a boy. Whole different thing, though." When the waitress came over Lily beamed at her, then took her shot and shuddered from the burn of it.
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Fox slammed his with ease, nodding his head for another for himself. Drunk sounded good right about now, and from the looks of things, he had a way to go to catch up with Lily. "I like it. But the earlier question stands. If you could name yourself, what would you choose?"
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"I dunnae," she mumbled, slurring like a professional drunk. "I kinna... kinna like Lily acuz Jon pick'd it, an' th' only reason ahm around is cuz he wished for me. Ssssoooo it seems like it fits. An' I don' wanna be F'shr anymore cuz he's pathetic, an' I was never happy anyway. Right! Y'know what ahm sayin."
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Fox grinned like an idiot, hearing the sudden change as Lily spoke like an official drunk. "So you think you should be Lily because that's what someone else named you? I'm asking you to name yourself."
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Whining a little, Lily shook her head. "I don't wanna nameme," she groaned, squishing the end of the sentence. "I don' even like me. An' I think... I think it fits too well, y'know? Lil-e. Liiiiiillllleeeeeeee. Otter." Giggling to herself at the absurdity, the look of amusement suddenly turning to a look of worry. "Uh-oh," she said tightly, groping at the table to get to her feet. "I think I'm gonna barf."
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"Can you make it to the restroom?" Geez. Did she not know how to hold her liquor? Fox pulled the table closer to him so she could get out easier, but not far enough that she'd lose her balance.
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is available
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Swallowing hard, Lily nodded, growling softly to herself. "This was so much easier when I was a guy!" she shouted at nobody in particular, cursing her female body. Drinking had felt like nothing when she was a guy. Hell, she could have killed the entire bottle and only swayed a little when she walked. Of course, that had been in her glory days, when she'd been high or drunk for days on end. But still! The indignity of it all.
Pushing open the bathroom door, Lily paused a moment, sucking in a deep breath and instantly regretting it. The place was awful. "Oh God, I thought men were disgusting," she groaned, turning away and trying not to ponder too hard on what that large brown puddle on the floor had been. So instead, she headed to the front door, thinking that fresh air was probably all she needed.
---
Fox tossed down enough bills to cover their table and followed Lily as she walked outside. "Hey, I know it's a dumb question, but are you okay?" He stepped close, staying back and off to the side just in case she decided to hurl.
---
The cool air was nice, and Lily drank it in through her nostrils deeply. Yes, this was good. Better. Leaning against the wall of the bar, her head flopped over to look at Fox. "I lef' my credit card at the bar," she said with a small giggle. "My tab. Should go git that... but I don' wanna go back in there. D'you know how gross women are? Like... ugh." Feeling her stomach lurch again, she closed her eyes. "Ugh."
---
Fox chuckled. "I'll go get it for you. Just...wait here." After a quick glance to make sure she was mostly upright, he sauntered back in the bar. A quick explanation to the barkeep earned him Lily's credit card and a receipt. Given the circumstances, they weren't going to make her sign, but it was charged now. Fox came back out. "All done. Need a lift home?"
---
As soon as Fox was gone, Lily groaned to herself. Wow, she was really looking hot tonight. Maybe Fox was leaving her here, slipping out the back door never to be seen again. She wouldn't blame him. But then he did come back. "Heeeeeey," she smiled. "No Imma... walk? I guess? I dunno. S'ok." Pushing herself off the wall, she started off to the parking lot, though it was pretty obvious she wasn't sure where to go from this place.
---
Fox shook his head and grabbed his bike. If she was walking, he sure as hell was going to walk with her as he pushed his bike. "Cool. I'll walk with you." He didn't care about the destination and was silent as they went.
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He had a bike? Looking over at him, Lily smiled softly, trying not to look very impressed. "You're gonna walk your bike the whole way? What for?"
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Fox shrugged. "Why not? It's a nice night. You're nice company." And part of the reason was he wanted to make sure she got someplace safe without passing out along the way.
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Giving Fox the fish eye, Lily scoffed. "Nice company?" she echoed. "All I've done is drink an' babble at you. An' not even about you, which is what most people wanna hear 'bout." Pausing, she purser her lips, checking him out carefully. "Want me t'tell you about you?"
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He shrugged again, realizing this was going to be a common occurance with Lily. "Doesn't bother me any. I don't really mind babbling." Blinking, Fox turned his head to look at her for a moment. "Nothing much to tell. I'm an asshole, raised by an alcoholic asshole. Oh, and a womanizer. That about covers it."
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Nodding, like maybe she was considering his words, after a moment Lily stuck out her tongue. "You're completely full of shit," she told him flatly. "I mean... I totally agree that you're an asshole, but not why you think you are. It's not cuz you're... whassa word? Oh! Cuz you're a "loner", and you're all... drifter...y..." Air quotes were used, along with a proper frown and eyeroll. "It's obvious from jus' lookin at you that you're not some... cava... cav... cavalier! That's it. Cavalier douche! You're not. Not. But yooouuuu....... think that's what it is!! An' it isn't!"
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Fox chuckled, more than amused by Lily at the moment. "So I'm an asshole because I'm a drifter, but I'm not an asshole because I'm a douche?"
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He was so not getting this. "No," she told him, hands on hips. "You're not an asshole cuz of either of those things. That's just what you think. You think that you're like... a bad boy. An' I betcha that that's what girls think, too. Like you're the Unconquerable Rebel, and girls like wet themselves thinking that they could be The One who tames you. I mean jeez, you have a motorcycle, you're like total cliche." Patting the bike, Lily stumbled a few steps, paused, and took a deep breath. "M'okay. Though I was gonna puke but.... no, think I'm good. Pretty sure."
---
Fox blinked. Sure he knew he was a written cliche, but stereotypes existed for a reason. He liked his life. Mostly. There wasn't much reason for him to change. "Okay, so then why am I an asshole?"
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"You... you sir, are an asshole, because you're not an asshole. But you act like one. You live up to the cliche and it's like... sad, y'know? But maybe you don't know it. Maybe, you have no idea that you're not really some bad boy jerkoff who uses girls an' doesn't care about 'em." Looking over at him, Lily cocked her head slightly. "So you know that yet?"
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Fox's walk slowed and finally stopped. "Well fuck me." How the hell did she see through him like glass when nearly everyone else didn't give two shits? "There's some things about me that are legit. The bikes and the booze are two of 'em," he argued, trying to defend his life.
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Lily had always been able to read people well, sometimes eerily so. Staying on the fringe of life offered a very clear perspective of what was really going on. "Oh please," she said flatly, resting her elbows on the seat of the bike and looking up at him. "The bike's cuz you never made a connection with anybody so you gotta keep movin', and the booze is cuz... well same reason anyone drinks. Cuz it numbs shit." Reaching out (and missing a few times), Lily patted his arm. "S'ok. You're jus' some other kinda cliche now."
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Fox grabbed her hand, holding it to his arm. "So then what're you?" Part of his found it funny that he found an almost kindred spirit in her though they were just a random run in at the bar. It was....nice to feel like he had a new friend. Someone who 'got' him.
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His hands were warm, a little rough but not intolerably so. "Me?" the question surprised her, and Lily had to think about it a minute. She wasn't all that great with insight on herself. "Imma cliche too, I guess. M'just not sure which one."
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Fox smiled, the corners of his mouth just turning up. "Probably the one where you're looking for love in all the wrong places. You're doing so much to be accepted, that you've changed yourself entirely only to be pushed aside again. Meanwhile, if you found that solid backbone that just mouthed off to me and hung onto it, you'd be a lot happier."
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Chuckling, Lily shook her head. "No, that's not it. It's the one where... where you have everything you ever wanted, an' you just ruin it. Not sure why, but you just can't... you just can't. Can't be happy, can't figure out how to be normal..." Trailing off, she sniffled softly, her eyes tearing up. "I'm a ruiner. That's my cliche."
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Fox reached out and tweaked her nose. "Nope. Not allowed to say that about my friends. You're just misguided." Leaning forward, he pressed a friendly kiss to her forehead. "We'll fix it," he said encouragingly. "C'mon. Let's get you somewhere before you fall down."
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Laughing dryly, Lily shook her head. "You don't want me as a friend," she told him quietly. "I ruin friendships. An' I mess things up. You shoulda left me at the bar to drown in whiskey." Standing upright, she swung a leg over the bike, planting herself on it then looking up at him expectantly. "Let's do something stupid."
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"Too late," Fox grinned. "I already decided. You're my friend now." Childish? Yes, but if it made her smile it would be worth it. "Stupid? Like teaching a drunk woman to drive a motorcycle stupid?"
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"Like let's go to Canada stupid." Patting the seat, she waited (fairly impatiently) for him to get on. "Like ride to Atlantic City and get married stupid. Like... like steal a car stupid."
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"Canada, sure. Married and car? No thanks. Got my bike and I like being single." Hopping on in front of her, he started the engine. "Hang on."
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"Your bike is lame," she told him, though when it started up she jumped a little. Louder than she'd thought, and it vibrated hard beneath her butt. Wrapping her arms around his chest, she grabbed onto him tightly, her fingers splaying over his chest and stomach. Not bad.
---
"Tell me that in twenty miles when you're all wet," he tossed back. Fox pulled out into the empty street, driving with no clear destination in mind. Just the way he liked it.