Godric Witt (shy_vamp) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-04-30 23:46:00 |
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Entry tags: | blake, godric, ric, wes, wesley |
Wednesday May 13th 2009
Who: Blake, Godric and Wesley
What: Intervention
Where: The BGH
When: Afternoon
Rating: R for language
Note: Chat Aimscene
Coming home, Godric felt pretty damn decent. Another power swap had gone down the night before, but he hadn't been affected so sunlight and food were still on the table for him. Which kicked ass. Tonight, he was gonna take Blake out for Indian food, as spicy as they could handle it. Coming in through the garage (patting his almost finished car), Godric dropped his laptop bag in the middle of the floor and sauntered into the living room. "Hello, love," he grinned at his lovely man. "Good day?"
Blake:
Blake was nervous and Wesley didn't make anything better by saying his 'assurances' that the worst they could hope for was Ric going on a bender. He was clearly jittery as he was cleaning up when dear Godric arrived back. Blake jumped a little but shot him a smile. "Hello... yes, uneventful. Take a seat?"
Godric:
With a smirk, Godric came up behind Blake, wrapping both arms around his waist and playfully biting the back of his neck. "Wanna sit with me?" he murmured softly, oblivious to (or perhaps ignoring) any other presence in the house. "Naked?"
Blake:
Ugh. Trust this damn fine vampire to get all sexy when Blake truly wanted to get sexy with him. The witchdemon leant back into his arms, savouring the feel of him. Sometimes he didn't this was so bad. Sometimes. "I would. I really would.... but I have something to talk about with you."
Godric:
Chuckling breathily, Godric's hands tugged Blake's shirt untucked, then ran up over his stomach, fingers splayed out over the soft, warm skin. "Go ahead," he breathed hotly against Blake's ear, tongue darting out teasingly. "Talk. I'm listening."
Blake:
Blake shivered but strength won out and he spun around, grasping Ric's hands in his and staring at him seriously. "I mean it, Godric. Please, sit down...."
Godric:
This was unexpected. Raising an eyebrow, Godic chuckled a little at Blake's sternness. "Okay," he said, shrugging a little and taking a seat on the couch. Blake was usually really easy to distract, especially when Godric used his mouth. This must actually be important. "Are you breaking up with me?" he aked with a grin, settling back and crossing his arms over his chest. "No, wait... are you pregnant? That's it, isn't it? You're having my baby."
Wesley:
"It's mine, actually." Wesley appeared from the kitchen holding a juice, a blood and a water for the three of them before he grinned at Godric, going to sit down opposite the vampire and Blake. "We were gonna tell you sooner but... man it had to come out you know?"
Godric:
Nodding his head, Godric chuckled again. "I'm not surprised. I knew it was only a matter of time before you started shacking up with one another. The tension was unbearable."
Blake:
Annoyed but somehat relieved to have company Blake allowed the little interaction with a small chuckle before he turned to Godric. "I hope you realise that I love you deeply, Godric. Joking aside you mean the world to me, you know that right?"
Godric:
This was something Godric had missed about Wes. It was harder to have fun with him when he thought too hard about him and Hope, and the future, and what they were doing to one another in the present. This was better, though. He liked playing with Wesley.
The way Blake was talking, though... something was going on. Something real was going on. "Okay..." he said, the smirk on his lips fading. "I know that. What's going on?"
Wesley:
Wesley enjoyed having fun too but something had to be done. Blake was going into pieces, Wesley knew that he didn't truly have his friend back if there wasn't a glimmer of murder in those eyes. Clearing his throat he took the glance from the demon to know that he needed to be the one to start this. "We've noticed a change in you. Not just me and Blake but Hope as well... she would have been here but I told her it wasn't necessary, and it won't be if you listen to us."
Godric:
Now Wesley was taking over? God, this was bad. Was his mother dead or something? A slight glimmer of worry flashed in his brain, but soon it dispelled. This was just about how he had been acting differently, which was something they had been nagging about for weeks now. And it made him laugh, a small, bubbling laugh that fell from his lips. "Really? We're going to talk about this again?"
Blake:
"Yes, we are." Blake was very stern in this regard and he set Godric with a look he hadn't used since they first got together. It was the sort of no nonsense tone he'd been lacking recently and he couldn't let emotion cloud his judgement. "I know you think it's fine, but you're difference is causing people to worry. You can't just go from rigid in your ways, do a 180 and then be like... the equivalent David Cassidy on acid. Are you taking something to help you?"
Godric:
Oho, here came the serious voice. Godric tried his best to hide the smirk he was wearing, but it was hard. This was just such a ridiculous conversation to be having. Shaking his head, Godric paused a moment before responding. "Who is it exactly that's worrying? I mean you two, obviously, or else you wouldn't be going on about this, but who else? Hope?" Snorting, he rolled his eyes. "Basically, it's people who want me to carry on their burdens for them. Those are the people who don't like this. Wesley, who needs me to pick him up again when he fucks up his life, Hope who needs to walk all over me so that there can be one reliable male in her life, and you. And you don't make sense because you always hated how I let people walk all over me. And now I'm not, and now you have a problem so... I dunno, maybe you did like it. Maybe you got off on it." Shrugging again, Godric leaned forward to swipe Wesley's juice from the table and took a drink.
Wesley:
"Why did you do it, then?" said Wesley, tilting his head. There was no denying that Godric had taken something so he read it as official. "You cared about all these people, if you didn't want to feel as burdened with their issues then why not tell them that's how it was? You sure as hell didn't do it for Peyton, or Lyle, or when you ran out to kill whoever it was who shot you five dozen times, or when Ikon needed a place to bring the kids, or when someone else and someone else and someone else... why now? What made you snap and think that hey, I don't like who I am, I wanna get fucked up high and be a total asshole to the people I'm supposed to be friends to? Because what you did, Godric, was be a friend. Nothing more and no less. I didn't ask you to take me in and let me live with you. You invited me. So you took on the role and now you want to check out?"
Godric:
Frowning, Godric narrowed his eyes at Wesley over the rim of the glass. "I'm not high on anything," he said stonily. "I'm not on drugs and I'm not drunk. I didn't 'snap'. I'm just... tired. I'm tired of taking on everyone else's problems. So I'm not anymore. And if that makes me an asshole, then fine. I'm an asshole. And what kind of friend are you to sit here and confront me, to tell me that something has to be wrong with me because I don't feel like being everyone's stepping stone? What the hell kind of friendship is that?"
Setting the glass back on the table, Godric rose to his feet. "Where was this... this... intervention when I was killing myself solving everyone else's problems? Where was the worry when I didn't sleep for seven damn years straight because all I do is think, think about people and their problems and how to help them and how to accomodate for them even though they're all horrible, selfish little pricks?? Where was THAT intervention?? But no. It's only when I'm being selfish that it's a problem. It's only when I inconvenience you fuckers for a change. I like having you around. Live here forever if you like. Fine. But why don't you be my friend and solve all your own goddamn problems for a change?"
Blake:
"Godric..." Blake knew this must seem accusatory and didn't want it to be in the slightest, so he stood too, not wanting to reach out just yet. "This is not because you are being a bad man. This is not because we all want you to solve things for other people. You know better than most how often I told you that you couldn't be everyone's Superman, but I didn't think you'd need to turn to this! You're callous, you change opinions in the blink of an eye, you openly do not give a shit. There are lines on these sort of things and you've crossed them... I would love for you to be free of the burdens you place on yourself - because your friends only come to you when they need you, but you still offer to move mountains for them. That's not being weak, that's being outstanding but of course it's tiring. There are other ways for you to feel less obligated, there's delegation, there's sharing things. There's letting others help, too, even though you don't think they're strong enough. Me for example."
Blake shrugged then, not knowing what else to say. "You were right about the other day, I stopped singing because I realised what I'd been missing. I'd been missing the fact that your energies are... not the same. They're not Ric. It's as if some ghost has come in and settled within you and is using you to make you feel good.... "
Godric:
Biting the inside of his lip to keep himself from snapping at Blake, Godric drew in a long, long breath, then exhaled evenly. "For fuck's sake," he muttered to himself, crossing his arms and shifting his weight onto one hip. Blake didn't get it. But then, how could he? After another moment of quiet, he shook his head. "Fine. You're right. I've gone off the deep end and I need to come back. I'll work on it, ask you for help. Okay?"
Blake:
The relief in Blake's face said everything he couldn't, but he wouldn't cry, despite his brown eyes burning with an all too familiar sting. He was sure the other men would be able to feel the rush and pang of emotion but it was best dulled down. "Thank you," he said earnestly, Though Godric's hands were hidden by his chest Blake placed his fingers on the normally-a-vampire's arms and pressed forward to give him a lingering kiss on the cheek. He thought he felt Ric there a moment. "Just - thank you."
Godric:
There was a small pang in Godric's chest at seeing that look on Blake's face. So much trust was there, relief and love and hope in those bright brown eyes. Blake just wanted to be happy and have Godric be happy as well. And Godric had just lied to his face.
Smiling softly, Godric stole a small kiss to Blake's lips. "Sure," he said quietly. "I want to take you out for dinner. Let me get changed, and then we can go?"
Wesley:
"Just a minute." Wesley walked up to him and stood as close as he could without getting between them, knowing the kind of ruse that Godric was trying to play here. He'd done it himself so many times and he knew 'I'll ask for help' doubly translated as 'I will cover this up better'. "I'm gonna be watching you, smoky. You say you're gonna ask for help then you better well do it. If I don't find any improvement - and I mean any - in the next week, I will tell Blake to chop your dick off and you won't know when it's gonna happen."
Godric:
As hard as Wes looked, Godric looked back. He knew Wes wouldn't buy it. Hell, he'd been surprised that Blake bought it. But then again, Blake wanted things to be fine again, and he probably would have believed anything good. "What kind of improvement are you looking for?" he asked, a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "Consistancy? Or, are you looking for me to become a doormat again? Help me out here, Wesley." And then, with plenty of sarcasm, "I'm asking for your help. Friend."
Blake:
Blake shifted back, looking between the two of them. His eyes narrowed at them both. A seed of doubt had perhaps been placed that Godric's plea had been sincere. "See. This is what I mean, Godric. You're being nasty, because you feel backed into a corner, but nobody's trying to do that. Nobody's asking you to be a doormat. Maybe I should be the one to judge, seeing as I can feel your insides.... Wesley, just... how about that dinner, Godric, yes? You don't need to change let's just leave it at that."
Godric:
Ignoring Blake, at least with his gaze, Godric stepped closer to Wes. "No, I'd really like to hear this. If I'm going to lose my cock over it at some undetermined point in the future, I want to know exactly what it is I'm improving on. What don't you like about me now, hm? That I fight back, or that I don't care about peoples' stupid, selfish problems, or that I'm less accomodating? I would really like to know."
Blake:
Wesley smirked as his 'friend' stepped up to him, meeting his gaze with an unwavering, steely one of his own. "I wanna see the spring in Blake's step again. I wanna hear him sing his sweet little songs in the shower, making up lyrics about love and shit. I wanna see Hope confident in the fact she has her sire's love back, a guide in case she gets lost, someone who can say it'll all be ok if things go wrong whilst secretly thinking 'well I was right' but not saying it. That's what you're improving on. I couldn't give a damn if you tossed me out the window, but what I know is those two people, important people in my life and yours, are not completely happy and the common denominator is you. Friend. Improve on that."
Godric:
With an acidic, mirthless chuckle, Godric set Wes with a hard look. "So... you want me to make other people happy? That's what you're telling me to do? Shocking. Really. I'm shocked. I'm shocked how my improvement revolves around other people, and what I can do for them. It's brilliant, really. You pouring guilt over it like hot fudge on ice cream, drowning it to make it look better than it is." Stepping away, Godric's expression grew darker. "You want Blake to get a spring in his step? Tell him to make up his fucking mind about what he's really looking for. You want Hope to know her sire still loves her? Tell her to STOP FUCKING MY BEST FRIEND! Maybe it shouldn't be my job to make them happy! Maybe they should do it their own damn selves for a change!"
Wesley:
Wesley was prepared to fight him, was prepared to shout back and almost did but seeing Blake shake his head, tears now freely running down his cheeks, the healer stopped and went on in a calmer vein. "But I'm not your best friend, am I? This, trying to get you to see sense, best friends don't do that. Psh. Love shouldn't be given and taken away on who Hope chooses to fuck or be in a relationship with. And I'm sure, given a choice, Blake would rather have the person who clams up at the moment of trying to speak his mind than this. This isn't what anybody wanted, is it what you did though? Is this making you happy, seeing Blake cry? Is having the acceptance from all the people who you didn't and don't love, enough to lose the people who once made your life so important? Because it's going to, if you carry on, and when you crash down there won't be a safety net of the people you've drawn to you and who owe you so fucking much"
Godric:
"Oh for fuck's sake!" Throwing his hands up, Godric pushed his way past Wes, practically throwing himself down into a chair. "Yeah. I love making him cry. Always have. And I love how you seem to know what's best for everyone except yourself. I love how you've suddenly got real preachy and annoying. I love how you have this idiotic notion that I owe Hope anything. Because I don't. She comes in and out of my world on any whim she chooses and that's fine, whatever, I don't care. But what I love the most, I think, is how fucking clueless every damn one of you is. All of you. Your heads are so far up your own asses you don't see anything, and you know what? I like you better that way."
Wesley:
"Sooo... because we've noticed you're gone into grade 1 dickhead you don't like it?" Wesley had to ask it because that's basically what it was. "We've missed so much but why can't we possibly miss the fact that the friend we loved and treasured is behaving like I was before I got landed in jail, gosh darnit aren't we killjoys?"
Godric:
"I'm not on fucking drugs!" Godric snapped. "What is it with you? I'm not on drugs, I'm not high, I'm not anything. I haven't let you down yet, I haven't cheated on Blake, I'm not shunning Hope, I haven't done anything except actually say what I think. And I'm very sorry if you don't like it, but you've never shut up a day in your life so when you do maybe I'll start."
Blake:
Dejected and thoroughly disheartened to what he'd been before Blake stood in a numb state whilst the two friends exchanged insults. He didn't watch their faces, he didn't need to: the energy which wasn't Godric was angry, confused and battling internally, dulled by something. Wesly was irate, passionate, snapping like he didn't give a shit but Blake could feel his energies spiking with desperation, maybe to have his friend back. Godric had been a big rock in Wesley's life, It was probably hard to have it crumbling. "I'm going for a walk," he said quietly, walking over to the coat rail. "You two can shout all you like but you're not actually saying anything. Whatever you're on Godric, whether you call it drugs or self-improvement, get off it. Wesley, he's not going to back down so leave it. Either way I've had enough of this fucking charade."
Godric:
Blake's small, quiet voice, his soft and humble words, twisted like a knife in Godirc's chest. He growled at himself, softly, running his hands through his hair. It didn't matter what he did, nothing helped. Nothing. Nothing ever truly made Blake happy. He wanted a version of Godric that didn't exist. "You know what? Good. Go. Just go, go walk, get out of here and be unhappy and dwell on this shitty relationship you're in now. And how you miss the old me, the one who put that exact look on your face." He pointed at Blake, at his face, as though Blake could see his own expression. "You have no idea! Every fucking day it was that, ALL the time, and now you're telling me that you miss it, that it was better?!? Jesus Christ, Blake, is it any wonder I'm-" Stopping himself, growling again, Godric got to his feet and threw one of the couch pillows across the room. "Fine. Just fine."
Blake:
Blake didn't miss the way Godric had to catch himself but he pointed at himself. "You didn't put that expression on my face, I DID! I was the one who was unhappy because I couldn't let go of a stupid ideal I'd had in my head and appreciate the amazing, far-better things that were happening to me, like YOU! I didn't expect to fall in love with someone so complex, deep and emotional, such an old soul with so much love to give the world. I had a stupid fucking idiot idea that you should change when I loved you for EVERY SINGLE inch that you were, that you ARE. What was the point in that, wishing to change someone I loved entirely? Nothing! And here you are now, saying you did it for me?! Well call me Dr Fucking Frankenstein then because I created a stranger, foreign creature compared to the way you were before, You can throw it in my face all you like...
i REGRET - there, I said it, I REGRET asking you to change and placing all those expectancies on you, because I just want my Ric back! And you can tell him we can run to an Island somewhere, isolated from pressures of other people, we can go to the fucking moon, I just want him. So you throw all the cushions you like. I'm still walking." It had been hard talking through that hard pressure in his chest, his throat in severe pain because he refused to let his voice crack or to recognise the fact his eyes were no longer able to focus for the water streaming from them. He stormed from the house, with an intention then of not returning for at least 24 hours. Somewhere, he thought how proud Roger would have been that he didn't blow the fusebox.
Godric:
Watching Blake walk out like that, hearing the door shut, knowing that he should go running after him but knowing that he wasn't going to... Godric snorted, shaking his head. It was fine. He would go upstairs, drink more potion, and he wouldn't care anymore. And he'd be fine. And if Blake never came back then he'd still be fine. It would be fine. "Fine," he said dully.
Wesley:
Wesley watched it all wishing he knew how to help in this personal moment, but it was all personal. Godric should go after him. He almost thought he was going to at one point, but he remained seated. Wesley stared at him for a long moment, then decided it was best he just go too. "You need help," he said simply. "Because even a lesser man than what you are would go running after him right now. That's all I'm saying. You need help." He gestured at the glasses on the table. "You can probably finish those off. I've got some Skyrim to complete." With that, he was walking upstairs.
Godric:
Godric laughed once, shortly, as Wesley walked away. Part of this actually was sort of funny, in an ironic way. "You think you've got this idea of what's going on," he called after his friend. "And you don't. And I'm wondering now if you ever did. Because the things you say... I just don't think you ever had any idea."
Wesley:
Wesley stopped half way up the staircase. "Maybe it's cause you didn't let anyone have any idea, and still don't. Cause you sprout all this bullshit but you still don't give a reason for why you kept on saying yes for when you wanted to say no, and why you still feel we don't understand something if you believe you've already explained it. Maybe you're just fucked up, Godric. Play X-box. It's good." With that he gave him a friendly, Western=esque gun click before he headed into his room.
Godric:
Giving the finger to Wesley's back, Godric huffed a sigh. "Maybe I'll just say 'fuck you' to everyone, move back on campus and be left the hell alone." The more he thought about it, the better that sounded. No more Wesley, no more Hope, no more letting Blake down. Just books and quiet. So after finishing off the drinks that Wes had left out, and leaving the glasses on the table, Godric headed up to his office to pack up a bag and get out of this damn house.