Tuesday-April/7/09
Who: Candi and Jason What: Bridging the gap, slightly. Where: Candi's classroom/Jason's room When: After Lycan Lore class.
Jason had been avoiding classes the past week because he knew he looked like a wreck and he didn't want anyone to comment on them. But he went to one today. Lycan lore. The one Candi taught. He sat in the back of the class, knowing that she would smell him and that it was enough. When class was dismissed, he stayed in his chair. "I need to talk to you," he said softly.
Candi had smelt Jason through the entire class, and all she wanted to do was go down and hold him and tell him she would make it alright...but instead she taught about old legends of various packs. Once the class was over she immediately went over and locked the door and turned to look at him. "I know, I can smell it...feel it." She kicked off her high heels and walked over to him, bare feet always felt better. Candi sat in the desk next to his. "I know he's been hurting you...is he giving you nightmares too?" She asked softly.
Jason stared at the scratched wood surface of the cheap desk. "I've had three? four? dreams with him. I'm losing count. They bleed together but remain so vivid. Now, when I can sleep, I still have nightmares." He shivered slightly, his breath shuddering past his lips. "I need to stop sleeping."
Candi tightened her hands into fists and then let out a breath in frustration. "He's a master of manipulation in dreams, it's where he has the most power...because we all have to rest at some point. The sleep depravation, the pain, the fear...it's all to break you down so he can control you..." She stopped for a moment and then swept her hair out of her face. "He knows his mental power over you isn't very strong so he's doing this instead." Candi chewed on her lip and looked at Jason. "You can't stop sleeping Jason...you'd just get worse."
Jason shook his head, hating this feeling of being trapped, of having no recourse. "I can't sleep. When I sleep he's there, even when he's not. I can't track him because I can't smell him. He's beaten me, threatened Cassie." Of those, the greatest sin to Jason was threatening Cassie. He loved her and would rather take the silver chains than her endure anything at his hands.
Candi looked at him heartbroken and then got up and started to pace a little. "Of course he's threatened your girl, it's what he does, he finds the most important things in your life and threatens them one by one. And I'm sure you know he doesn't bluff." She licked her lips and glanced at Jason. "I know what he smells like, I still remember what he tastes like...I can find him anywhere." She said with distaste.
"Charlie wants me to break up with Cassie, and make her believe it." Jason still couldn't believe such a thing was suggested. Well, he could, but he couldn't do it! He couldn't break Cassie's heart, not to mention his own, to save her. At the last part, his eyes shot up to Candi. "Tell me," he demanded.
"I understand his logic but I don't think Cassie would believe it for a second she would figure it out." Candi raised an eyebrow at Jason and shook her head. "Calm down pup there's no way I'm going to tell you just so you can go rushing in there without a plan and get yourself killed! Maybe he wants you to so you will be a full vamp who he would probably have good control over." Candi didn't realize she had called him pup, but she was just so worried. "Be mad at me for it if you want, just add it to the list."
"Pretty much. She knows how I feel, so why would she suddenly believe a switch?" Hearing the admonishment, he growled low in his throat, dropping back into his seat. At the last part, he shook his head. "I can't continue blaming you for something that wasn't your fault." He'd seen in his dreams how her death and his birth had gone. She'd tried to protect him even while in labor. "But that doesn't mean I'm calling you 'mother' or forgiving you for the years in between."
Candi wasnt surprised by the growl, but she was surprised he dropped into the seat. She raised an eyebrow, again surprised by her son and then sighed. Well Rome wasn't built in a day right? "I'm not asking you to...and if you were physically in Wolf's clutches you might not forgive me, but you'd understand better." Candi played with her necklace as she thought. "I suppose you know Charlie and I are planning to go kill him."
"I'd heard. And I told Charlie to back out. It's not his deal." Jason liked Charlie and knew that more than one person would be upset that the well-liked vampire was taking this course. He wasn't likely to return.
Candi nodded and then sat up straighter. "I never asked him too and I've been trying to get him to change his mind...it's not his problem and he has people who love him." She frowned and then pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Wolf snapped my arm in a dream the other night, because he doesn't want me helping you. He wants me to tell you to go be a good puppy dog for him but I'd never do that Jason." She played with the small dreamcatchers hanging from her ears and then sighed. "I would rather go in alone, just risking myself." She left out the part where no one would care if she was gone.
Jason licked his lips and decided she should know the truth. "Cassie and I are staying with Malakai Hardy, the hellhound. It didn't help. He still came." Taking a breath, he watched Candi for her reaction. "He used silver chains and a knife. Wesley had to come and reset the bones." Jason settled his hands on the desk, showing the faint scars from the silver around his wrists. "When you go, you're not going alone." The implication was there. He was going with her.
"With Mr. Hardy? That's probably a good place if he was here physically...but in his world it would just annoy him to smell hellhound all over you, irritated enough to do all that to you. " She chewed on her lip again and then looked at him. "Wolf is most likely in love with you, thinks you're the answer to all his problems. I've seen it before, being the only woman in his den he tended to forget I was there. The problem always was they would disappoint him and he would kill them." She raised an eyebrow at him and frowned at Jason. "You know I would argue with you over that pup, but I'm not going to right now...but probably later."
Jason blinked at that declaration. And blinked again. In love? With him? What the fuck? "Now that's just gross."
Candi had to keep herself from smiling because Jason's reaction was a little funny. "Wolf likes men, and you are exactly what he would like. Tall, athletic, good looking, blonde." She picked some lint off her pants and then shrugged. "It's probably a good reason why he's actually being nice to you and giving you so much time instead of just immediately trying to hurt your girlfriend."
"Dude, jerk needs to understand incest is a total turnoff. Not to mention dick." Jason dropped his gaze to give an exaggerated shudder. That explained a lot of the come on's he'd been getting. "He told me he wants me to protect the den."
Candi shrugged and tapped her nails against her knee. "Wolf doesn't care about that. He never touched me because hi girl, but he has touched all of his vampire children." She scrunched her nose and then nodded at Jason's statement. "Most likely, if he had you there to protect them during the day and to do his bidding during the day he would be right happy with himself. And it puts his den in a better position than one that only has humans."
Jason nodded. It made sense, but throwing all that at him plus the loving was just not cool. He finally just shook his head. "He wants me to agree. Threated to strip Cassie's skin from her if I didn't. But I don't think he'd believe me even if I agreed."
"Wolf won't care how sincere you are, as long as you are doing what he says...but I don't want you to do that. Because the first time he tries to touch you or kiss you, Jason you will lose it and he will slash your throat and if you survive he will kill Cassie or someone else you love just to teach you a lesson.." Candi was almost shaking, just the idea of Wolf hurting him was making her crack. She stood up and walked around for a second so she could pull together.
Whether or not she needed the moment, Jason could smell it, could feel it coursing through her. She cared so much, and he still didn't understand why. She wasn't there for years. Why get so upset at the thought he might die?
Candi would have tried to explain it if he asked, but it would be hard to explain the bond she felt. He was her child and even if she hadn't seen him every year she would be devastated at his passing. Before Candi turned back around she wiped at her eyes. "I just...I don't want him to lose it at you like that."
"If I'm not his, he can't lose it like that." Jason shrugged, trying to downplay it. "Right now, we need to focus more on getting sleep. Suggestions?"
"But he thinks you are so..." She bit her lip and then shrugged. "Sleep...right...I used to drug myself into such a deep sleep I couldn't dream...but I mean...that's a lot of drugs Jason..." She scraped her fang over her bottom lip and then sighed. "We need like a spell so you're not alone in your dreams...I mean Bastian's dreamcatchers are helping me I mean he can't hurt me but he can send bad dreams."
"Send bad dreams? I thought dreamcatchers were supposed to stop bad dreams from happening." Maybe that was what was happening to him? It kinda made sense. "I'm good to no one if I can't get restful sleep."
"They are but maybe...they can only catch so much and they are keeping him out for now...I don't know." She frowned and crossed her arms under her chest. "I know pup, I know." She wanted to charge into Wolf's den and rip his heart out of his chest but...she would most likely be dead before she got a foot near him. "Well Remington sat over me while I slept, and at the first unhappy face he woke me. Now I didn't get a full night's sleep but I got some."
"Cassie can't do that. She needs the sleep more than I do." And to be honest, the list was really short of people he'd trust to be able to wake him up like that. If the hellhound hadn't done so well, what could anyone else do?
Candi frowned and then shrugged slightly. "i would do it but I'm sure you don't trust me enough for that." She said softly and then uncrossed her arms.
"You need the sleep yourself." Jason didn't know if he trusted her for it or not. She obviously cared, but she couldn't watch him. Wolf was after her, too. At the thought, he scoffed. Once again, wolves versus coyotes.
"I sleep during the day." She said with a smile but she knew he would never let her take care of him like that. "Full moon this week...I can still feel it coming...like I'm going to shift." She said with a small smile and then picked up some papers on the floor. Candi wasn't totally changing the subject, it just happened to cross her mind.
Jason nodded, already starting to twitch from being seated for so long. "Yeah. I know. Thursday. I can feel it." He looked forward to it. The shift. Being free. He could shift sooner, but it meant he was likely to stay coyote until the full passed and that was just too dangerous.
"I have to be careful, sometimes my beast tries to get out and...well it's not a pretty sight." She said with a frown and then threw the paper in the recycling bin. "I actually remember your first shift...you were so scared." She said and then paled under her expensive fake tan."Sorry."
Jason nodded understanding, up until she mentioned his first shift. That was too much. He quickly rose to his feet, walking to the front of the room intending to leave.
"Jason I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said that it just slipped out...please don't be angry." Candi was not used to begging someone to do anything and all she seemed to do was beg for Jason's attention, his understanding, his forgiveness even if she didn't say the words.
Jason halted at the door, not turning around. Cassie was continually asking him why he didn't give Candi a chance. It was mostly because she'd had her chance in his mind. He didn't know if he could give her another, but he didn't leave yet.
Candi bit her lip but stayed where she was.'I'm so sorry Jason, I shouldn't say things like that to you, I know you don't...like it." She said softly and then turned around and headed for her desk, her heart hurting as badly as it always did when she spoke to Jason, it was just this time he was close enough to know she was hurting.
"I don't..." Jason chewed on his lower lip, releasing it and finally turning around. "I don't know how to handle what you tell me. In my memory you weren't there and still you tell me exactly what happened. It's a little freaky."
Candi turned around when Jason spoke and then bit her own lip. "I know and I try not to say anything to you...I understand that it must freak you out, and I'm sorry for that." She said as she let her fingers run over one of the desks.
"I'm not gonna forgive you overnight. I don't know if I can at any point," Jason said, completely honest. "You being here now shows me what I never had. What I didn't know I wanted, and I resent you for that." Okay, so he wasn't exactly being nice, but they each needed to know where they stood before anything could be built on it. And right now, their foundation was shit.
"I didn't think you would." She said softly and then nodded at what he said. "I can understand that, it makes sense." Candi said as she walked a little closer. "Being near you is painful for me, guilt runs rampant through me, even though I had no choices back then. I see you and I wish for everything to be different. If I had that option I would do that, but I don't." She walked over and stood in front of Jason. "I don't expect your forgiveness pup, but I hope for your understanding." Candi needed to tell him how she felt as well, they needed a starting point.
Jason held steady while she walked over, nodding slowly. "I can't promise I will, but I can promise I'll try." He also didn't say that understanding would be quick. He was on edge in so many ways right now, any rash decision would be a bad one. "I'm gonna go see if I can sleep for a couple hours."
Candi smiled at him when he spoke and then nodded. "That's all I can ask of you." She said softly and then bit her lip. "Make sure you're not alone in the house when you sleep...someone needs to wake you if you start to dream badly."
Jason shrugged. "Cassie's in class and I don't know where Mr. Hardy is." He'd basically kicked Cassie out of the room since he hadn't been hurt again just yet. "I'll probably be okay."
Candi raised an eyebrow at him and frowned. "You'll probably be okay? That's not good enough Jason, I'm sorry." She said as she crossed her arms again.
Jason sighed, leaning back against the wall. "I've gotta sleep at some point. May as well do it in the daylight, right?"
"I know you need to sleep, but you can't go to sleep without someone there to watch out for you." Candi wanted to go with him and protect him, but Jason was a full grown man who made his own decisions, she could only argue with him so far.
Jason growled this time, rolling his eyes heavenward to ask for patience. This sounded just like a conversation he'd had with Cassie. "Fuck. What if I slept on the sofa in the lounge? That public enough for you?"
Candi shrugged slightly. "I don't trust them enough to take care of you, so public enough yes but not safe enough. As much as you are going to bitch, come to my apartment and take a nap while I do some marking."
Blinking gold eyes at her in a steady stare, it occurred to him that he was challenging an alpha. Granted, a dead one, but the heart and the mind of an alpha was there still. And he was her blood, so challenge he would. "Tell me why I should."
Candi's own eyes went gold as she stared at him and she let a growl trickle from her throat. "Let's start with, because I asked you to and we both know you will be safer with me than by yourself." Candi didn't want to do this with her son, but if he had grown up with her it would have happened anyways...but that would have been a different situation.
Standing up a little straighter, his own eyes went gold. "Not enough for me. Not when he can use you to get to me. Both of us in the same place? That's tempting for him." Jason shook his head, never once dropping his gaze. She needed a better reason.
"I won't be sleeping." She said not budging. "He can't do a damn thing to me while I'm awake and he's in his fucking caverns." She stepped closer to Jason, into his personal space, if they were all they had of their pack she was his alpha and he needed to obey her...fuck that was not going to help their mother and son relationship. "This is the best choice for you to get some sleep pup, only Cassie would take care of you as well as I could, because as much as you don't want to admit it you need taking care of right now."
Jason was an alpha in his own right, possibly more so than Candi because he still had a pulse. "It is the best time for be to sleep and you're wasting it arguing with me. I don't need someone watching me." It wouldn't do for an alpha to admit weakness, that much he'd learned from his pack.
Candi knew damn well her son was an alpha, she knew it while she carried him, and she was proud of it. She would have raised him to be a leader, like she had been, not a lesser member of the pack. "I am not trying to arguing with you, but you are being unreasonable, like most males. He could come into your dream and if no one is there how are you going to wake up?" She said calmly, her eyes still gold and locked on his. "He could do anything he wanted to you Jason, you need to sleep where someone is there to wake you. And it's not weakness you stubborn pup to accept help."
Jason growled softly. She wasn't going to accept no for an answer, and he was too far on the edge to argue with her about it. He wanted to snap, yell and howl but it would accomplish nothing except burning energy he didn't have. "Fine. But I'm not going to your apartment." That would have to be the compromise. She could watch him, but not in her territory.
Candi flashed him a grin, eyes changing back to bright blue. She had gotten what she wanted, Candi was going to watch over her baby. "Fine but I'm not going to the hellhound's place...that's just a bad idea." She slid the stack of papers into her bag and then turned to face Jason. "Your dorm room than?" Candi asked with a slight smile.
Jason hesitated, taking a moment to force himself to relax. The dorm was smaller than any of the other places, but it was his territory. Maybe she'd respect that and just leave him be. Giving a nod, he led the way out the door, no longer trusting himself to talk. He'd either say something he regretted or pass out. Both were likely and he'd rather pass out on his bed.
Candi knew Jason wasn't all that happy about it, but she was. So she walked with him to his dorm room. Obviously she knew where it was already, since she had broken in and left him the journal. She was sometimes surprised that Jason never asked her about his father, he didn't even seem curious. She waited patiently for him to open the door so they could go in.
Unlocking the door, Jason tossed his keys on the desk, kicking off his shoes and immediately dropping onto the bed. With everything that had been going on, he hadn't thought to ask her. Sleep and protecting Cassie were what filled his thoughts. There wasn't room for anything else.
Candi walked into, which looked the same as it did on his birthday and settled herself on the computer chair and pulled her papers out of her bag. She tied her hair back and then started to go through them, eyes looking over at Jason more than at the papers. This thing with Wolf needed to end, one way or another.
Jason couldn't bring himself to turn his back to her, knowing that it was a challenge, but facing her was so awkward to. He compromised, laying on his back to sleep. Jason closed his eyes, ears twitching at each small move she made.
Candi was doing her best to not make any noise, the only noise she made was the occasional sound of paper being turned over. She frowned at him and then set all her papers down and just waited for him to fall asleep, almost tempted to sing the song she used to sing to him when he wouldn't settle in her belly...but she thought better of it.
Jason closed his eyes, deliberately slowing his breathing to try and force himself to sleep. It was so hard knowing she was there, but eventually his mind caved to his body's demands and he slept, albeit fitfully.
Candi waited a little bit longer before going back to her papers, humming the song softly to herself as she had many times when she was feeling uncertain.