Charlotte Edwards (sorry__charlie) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2012-01-21 11:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | charlie e, riley |
Friday - March 27th, 2009
Who: Charlie, Riley and Mara
When: Afternoon
Where: Car then home
What: Riley comes to get Charlie and Charlie gets up the nerve to see her daughter.
Charlie was ready to go. She liked Remy. Staying with him was nice but, still, this wasn't her home and she was ready to go home. Her clothes that she had been wearing the day that she had taken off were in a grocery bag, clean and folded, but she was still wearing a pair of Remy's plaid sleep pants and a t-shirt. They were comfortable and she had promised to get them back to him. She was bundled up in her coat and waiting outside of the building for him to get there, her nose slightly red from sneezing over the last couple of days, a tissue in hand. She smiled when she saw Riley turn into the parking lot, running over to the curb to meet the car and climb inside. She leaned across the front to press a soft, brief kiss to his lips and then sat back and hooked her seatbelt.
~~~
Riley was appreciative of his brother's help but it was time for Charlie to come home. Probably no one would agree but it would make Riley and Charlie happy so he was going to get her. He let Lauren know he would be back when it was time for her to leave and he drove to his brother's. Riley smiled when he saw Charlie running towards the car and happily took the kiss even though she was sick and smiled at her. "Ready to go home babe?" He said as he pulled away from the curb and started back to the house.
~~~
It probably was a bad idea for her to go back to Riley's house already, but three nights away from home was enough. She wanted to get back in her bed, her room, her space, wanted to know that he was just down the hall if she needed him. There was just no place like home. "Mmhmm," Charlie replied with a simple nod then relaxed back into the seat, feeling like a weight had been lifted, and it had. She was very relieved that he still wanted her around. She wouldn't know what to do with herself otherwise.
~~~
There had been some time where Riley had been considering what to do; should he keep Charlie with him or let her go. He wanted to believe that being with him was the best place for her but he wasn't always sure, and her stabbing Fox had been a loud wake up call. But he was willing to give this one more try, Charlie was sorry for what she did, maybe it even scared her a little. "I'm sure Remy has an opinion about you coming home, and I'm sure he will let me know tomorrow." Riley said with a smirk.
~~~
Charlie glanced at Riley, thinking about it for a moment before she replied, "He probably does." She paused, considering it for a moment before she said, "But that's just because he cares about you. And me, too, I guess." He treated her like she mattered anyway, like she really was a part of his family and maybe she was. Mara was his niece, after all, and charlie was her mother even if she thought she did a bad job of it. "So Mara has a stomach bug?" She asked, trying to sound casual, but she was trying to work up to it, to talk more about her and think more about her so that maybe she could get up the nerve to be around her.
~~~
Riley nodded and bit his lip. "I know he cares about us...but sometimes for me anyways he's hard to take. He disproves of everything I am so it's hard even though I know he loves me." He cleared his throat and then glanced at her when she mentioned Mara. "Yea, little munchkin came into my room at like two am and was really upset because her stomach hurt. So we laid there for awhile, watching lion king because it's her favorite and then she started being sick. She fell back asleep around four, and she was better today."
~~~
"He just... worries about you and.... I guess he doesn't understand you." Charlie gave a small shrug of her shoulders. His relationship with Remy was really none of her business and she didn't plan on butting into it. She loved Riley, but he had faults. And there were a lot of things that Remy disapproved of that she couldn't fault him for but... When push came to shove, she'd always have Riley's back. "I like Little Mermaid better," Charlie remarked. "Or Beauty and the Beast." She chewed her lower lip for a moment before she asked what was really on her mind. "Did she ask where I was or.. did she know I was gone?"
~~~
"He thinks I'm a fuck up and he expects me to do it again, I know...and I don't blame him or anyone that thinks it...not really. It just hurts a lot more when certain people think it." He focused on the road and then smiled at Charlie's choices. "You like the princess ones, She likes the animal ones best I think but of the princess ones, Little Mermaid is her favorite." Riley glanced at her as he pulled onto his road and then smiled slightly. "She knew you were gone, she didn't know why but she was sad. She likes being able to feel you in the house."
~~~
"Well, history does have a habit of repeating itself." Mean, perhaps, but not less true. Riley fell into destructive patterns time and time again and expected something different to come of it. But he didn't need her or anyone else to tell him that. He was aware. He just didn't really know how to stop it. "Maybe I just secretly wanna be a princess," Charlie cast a grin in his direction. She worried her bottom lip with her teeth for a few minutes before she spoke again. "Do you think maybe she feels better enough that I could... maybe see her today?"
~~~
Riley frowned and nodded. "Yeah it does but, I'm seeing a doctor regularly again, I do better with that kind of help and Mara keeps me from fucking up too badly...I want to actually be a decent guy Charlie, I don't want to be that guy who slept with patients and got high all the time ever again." Riley had come so far from that, he did not want to go there again. He laughed when she said she wanted to be a princess. "You're my princess Charlie." He said as he turned into the driveway. Riley was surprised by her request but he nodded. "Yeah I think you could see her."
~~~
"I know," Charlie replied simply and softly. If anyone knew what Riley wanted to be, what he was capable of being, it was her. He'd made mistakes, and maybe she was one of them, but he owned up to it unlike most men did. He was trying. She hoped that he would never stop no matter how many times he failed. She smiled, then the smile turned into a smirk as she asked, "That why you kept me locked away in your tower?" Biting her lower lip again she asked, "You don't think I'll give her my cold, do you? I don't wanna make her sick again."
~~~
Riley smiled at her as he turned the car off and undid his seatbelt before reaching over and hugging her. "I love you." He said softly and kissed her lightly, because he so did not want that cold. "Come on lets get inside and get you into your own pj's, some soup and then some little mermaid with Mara, whose probably a little sleepy." He laughed at her tower comment and then shrugged. "Maybe I just didn't want to share you." He kissed the end of her nose and then shook his head. "No you won't, don't worry about it."
~~~
The hug made her smile, closing her eyes and clinging at him for a long moment. She didn't say it back. She felt it, yes, but she just... she didn't want to say it just then so she didn't. Instead she just smiled as he pulled away and then rolled her eyes. "Well that's just too damn bad. I am meant to be shared and enjoyed by... all or something." She smirked. Maybe she was using the cold as an excuse because she was starting to get cold feet now, but she wouldn't back down. She'd already said it. And as she climbed out of the car and headed toward the house, she was mentally prepping for it. She just.. had to push back any negative thoughts and think only happy ones, that's all. Just happy thoughts.
~~~
Riley held her for as long as she needed, he didn't need her to say it back, he knew it by now. He snorted at her words and shook his head. "Yeah yeah." He said as he got out of the car and then headed to the house, he could feel her nerves but he said nothing. He was surprised she wasn't backing down about Mara, maybe this time she would actually see her. He could feel her nerves but he said nothing,
~~~
"I'm gonna go change first," Charlie said once they were inside the house and she quickly moved up the stairs to head to her room, the door closed fast behind her. She closed her eyes and focused on her breathing befoer she moved away from the door and went to find her own pajamas to put on, putting Remy's in her clothes hamper. Her clean clothes she had brought home were put on the foot of the bed and she stood there for a long moment, debating whether she wanted to just climb in her bed and hide or if she wanted to actually walk down that hallway. After a moment, she headed for the door. Today was the day. And the walk down the hall to Mara's room was fucking long as hell.
~~~
Riley went into the kitchen and heated up some soup for Charlie, and got a watered down gatorade for Mara and a bottle of juice for himself. He poured the soup into a wide travel mug so it would stay warm and it was easier to eat and then headed up the hall with the spoon in his pocket. He smiled at Charlie when he saw her in the hall and held the soup out to her. "Are you ready? Do you want me to go in first?" He asked softly.
~~~
Charlie was about halfway down the hallway when Riley appeared as well and she looked at him with an expression that spoke volumes about her current anxiety level. "No," she replied quickly. "Maybe." It might not be a bad idea if he did. "Or... no. Can I just... have a minute?" She moved to lean against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment. "It seems so silly to be so scared but..." She smiled and pushed herself off the wall. "I'm okay. I can do this. But... you go first so... I mean ask her if it's okay with her and if it's not then... well.." Hopefully that would not be the case.
~~~
Riley smiled encouragingly at her, he knew she was nervous as hell. "You can have a minute if you need it. Of course." He said softly and then nodded when she told him to go in first. "I will ask her but I already know the answer." He headed into the room and there was some quiet murmuring and suddenly Mara was calling her from the bedroom.
"Mommy!" Riley leaned out the door and smirked at her.
"I think that means come in." He laughed.
~~~
Charlie came so close to turning and walking back down the hallway to her room in the few seconds that passed between the time Riley walked into the room and the minute she heard her little girl's voice, Riley's head poking out of the door soon after. She smiled, anxiety and relief both clearly written upon her features and then she headed inside.
"Hey," she said softly when she saw Mara. "Wow, you've gotten so big." Charlie exhaled a laugh, not sure if she was supposed to like.. hug her or go sit on her bed or what she was supposed to do now. She felt awkward and uncertain but oddly happy at the same time, like she could cry right now but it would be good tears, not bad ones.
~~~
Riley knew she was relieved but he also knew what Mara's reaction had been, and it had taken a very serious dad face to keep her in the bed. He watched quietly as Charlie came in the room, he sipped his juice and tried to ignore the fact he wanted to tear up, just a little.
Mara grinned wide at her mother and shoved a stuffed animal out of the way so she could sit next to her. "Sit mommy." She said as she was reaching for her. "Daddy says I can't get up because I was sick so you have to come here so I can hug you."
~~~
"Okay," Charlie breathed out the word. She had to refrain from rushing too quickly over to the bed, feeling slightly unsteady on her feet as she walked. She climbed onto the bed beside Mara, and then she took a deep breath before she hugged her, cradling her tightly against her for the first time in years. She closed her eyes, feeling the burning of tears behind her eyes. She still smelled exactly the same. She was still just as warm. She was bigger now but still the same and... God, she had missed her.
~~~
Mara practically climbed onto her mother and hugged her tight. She started to babbling almost immediately about everything and nothing. She had missed her mother as much as Charlie has missed her.
Riley watched the two of them together and sipped his juice, he was having a hard time believing that Charlie had finally found the strength to see their daughter, but he was incredibly proud of her.
~~~
Charlie wasn't sure where she had found the strength to do it either, but she thought that maybe talking to Remy about her own mother had had a bit to do with it. It had got her to thinking about how her mother leaving her had affected her as a child and, even if Riley was a far better father than what she was left with, she wouldn't do to Mara what her mother had done to her. She couldn't.
She shifted to where she was sitting on the bed, simultaneously pulling Mara up to where she was still sitting against her but she could actually see her beautiful little face. Riley was on the other side of her and she reached a hand over to grab hold of his own. Mara was talking about preschool and the teachers and the other kids and all the stuff she'd learned and Charlie was giving her her full attention, nodding and commenting on what she was saying ever now and then as she rubbed a hand up and down her back, watching her in a near state of awe.
~~~
Riley took Charlie's hand and came closer to the bed, eventually sitting on the edge as the two girls talked to each other. He smiled at them both as he looked back and forth between them. He wasn't going to step into their conversation he would let them bring him in when they wanted.
Mara stopped talking for a moment and then grinned up at her mother and reached up and touched her cheek. "You're so pretty mommy." She hugged her again and then just stayed there, not talking just leaning against Charlie, a small yawn escaping her.
~~~
When Mara stopped talking, Charlie got nervous that maybe she had done something wrong. But then she smiled as that little hand touched her face. "And you are beautiful, Mara," Charlie replied, and then she cradled her to her again. She noticed the small yawn and she rocked her slightly. "You can sleep if you're tired. I'll still be here when you wake up. I won't go anywhere, I promise."
~~~
Mara looked up at her mom and smiled sleepily at her. "Thank you." She said softly. "You'll be here? Pinky swear?" She asked as she held up her little hand for Charlie to hook fingers with.
Riley bit his lip and smiled at them both and then squeezed Charlie's hand to let her know that he thought she was doing a great job.
~~~
Charlie smiled and then moved her hand to hook her pinky with Mara's own. "Pinky swear." She even sealed it with a kiss to her forehead before she closed her eyes. God, she'd missed her, missed this. It had been forever since she'd held her and, for the longest time she didn't think she ever would again. But now she was and... it was surprisingly okay.
"Get over here, daddy," Charlie said and then shifted to make room for Riley. "Lay down with us."
~~~
Mara's face lit up when Charlie, pinky swore and then yawned big before cuddling into her so she could fall asleep.
Riley laughed when Charlie told him to come lay with them and he did it in a second. He set his juice on the nightstand and then cuddled in the bed with his girls on the other side of Mara, wrapping his arm over the both of them. "This...is amazing." He murmured as he kissed the top of Mara's head. "I never thought we would do this...it's kinda awesome." He smiled at Charlie. "I'm so proud of you." He whispered as Mara slept.
~~~
Charlie exhaled a small laugh as Riley spoke, admitting in a soft voice, "Neither did I." She'd wanted it, thought about it, imagined it happening someday but... she never really thought that they would ever be able to get to this point. She smiled when he spoke again. "We're gonna be okay, Riley." They had to be. There was no other option, no other choice. Somehow they would figure it all out.
~~~
He smiled at Charlie and nodded slightly at her words. "I hope you're right babe, this is too good to mess it up." He reached up and tucked Charlie's hair behind her ear with a soft smile. "One day at a time right?" Riley knew Charlie could do this, but she had to just live in the moment and not over think it.
~~~
Charlie nodded her head, shifting Mara's weight just a bit so that she could nuzzle her face against her hair. She was so beautiful, so sweet, so absolutely perfect. She closed her eyes and then hummed contentedly. "I'm never gonna move from this spot," she remarked, a smile curling her lips. "Never, ever." And then she sighed before she added, "Or at least not until we have our nap." She exhaled a soft laugh and then yawned her own self. "Will you stay with us?"