Hope O'Shea (hopehasit) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2011-11-14 08:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | hope, wes |
Sunday - February 21st, 2009
Who: Hope and Wes
When: Night
Where: Wes' On Campus Apartment
What: Hope is in need of a place to stay.
Sunday meant back to reality which meant back to Danvers which meant back to the uncertainty of where she was going to go or what she was going to do with herself now. Obviously she was staying here. She was a vampire again therefore traveling would be difficult and she didn't want to simply leave because, well, Garret was here and she had things she needed to do here and take care of and there was a purpose for her presence here. Still, she couldn't go back to the house as much as she would have liked to. She couldn't be there with Blake there. And Garret's house was out of the question, both of them actually, as Mal and her could hardly stand to be in the same room together for more than a few minutes because of what they both were and she was fairly certain that Rorie hated her. So where did that leave her? On her own again, she supposed.
Hope had not been aware until she was sorting through some information regarding the on campus housing in an attempt to locate a permanent residence for the trio currently taking up her on campus apartment that Wesley had actually been staying on campus. She had completely forgotten that he even had an apartment on campus still until just then to be perfectly honest. But he did, and apparently he had been residing there for the better part of the week, recovering, no doubt, from the strain of the near two weeks prior when he had been one of the only people on campus who wasn't completely and utterly ill. And since she had nowhere else to go, as Blake was at the house with Godric and the Billings were still in her apartment, she decided that she would stop by and see how he was doing.
It was fairly late in the day by the time she knocked on the door, well after sundown since it had been dark before she and Garret had even been able to leave Boston. She was tired and a little hungover from the night before. It probably would have served her best to just go back to the infirmary and lay down but she needed someone familiar around right now. Granted she had spent the entire weekend with Garret, but that had been her taking care of him, and right now she wanted someone to just hug her and nearly squeeze the life out of her and who better to do that than Wesley? He was quite good at it after all.
~~~
The knock at the door woke Wesley with such a lurch that as he went to move and answer it, he toppled off the very edge of the bed where he'd been precariously lying. Dressed in his robe he'd been on top of the sheets, not caring to tuck himself in. With his ass hurting the healer got himself to his feet and padded to the front door, yawning in the process. Recovery from healing people was a horrific thing, mostly because it took a long time to get his energy back and also because he felt like a zombie for the better part of a week or so.
Rubbing his eyes Wesley opened the door, dischevelled and weary, but his eyes instantly lit up at his visitor. "Hey," he croaked, before coughing and stepping back as a welcome.
~~~
Wesley looked pretty much like Hope had anticipated, a mess. His hair was kind of all over the place and he looked tired as hell but he wore that goofy grin of his so well and it instantly made her feel better. Yes, the was the right place for her to come right now. Just looking at his goofy face made her feel infinitely better.
She stepped inside so that he could close the door and then almost immediately attacked him with a hug. It would be obvious to anyone from the way that she clung to him, even to Wesley who was not always the most perceptive man in the world, that she was upset. And if he had to ask why, he'd not been paying much attention. She was sure he could guess her reasoning correctly but she didn't care to talk about it, that much was for sure.
"Can I stay here tonight?" She asked the question with her face nuzzled against his neck.
~~~
Of course Wesley realised that Hope’s sudden need to hug the life out of him was something to do with the situation back home. He was dumb but he wasn’t that dumb. He knew people, as much as he liked to act ignorant. Holding her close Wesley sighed. She wasn’t the only one who’d needed a hug and she’d probably know it if her emotion thing was still intact.
“I’d love it if you did,” he answered softly. He really needed company. Not sparky, off the wall company, or worrying and fawning attention, or two lovers whom he adored but couldn’t handle so much right now. Hope was perfect for this. Breaking away slightly he looked at her. “You want me to make up my bed? I mean it’s kinda... I need to change sheets...”
~~~
Of course he wasn't dumb. If anyone could understand the need to be anywhere other than the BGH, it was probably Wesley. That was why he was here instead of there, after all. Or at least one could assume that, and know it if they were skilled the way that Hope was skilled.
A smile formed upon her lips when he gave her the answer she wanted and she exhaled a sigh before she pulled back from the hug and said simply, "Thanks." At the mention of needing clean sheets, she arched a brow slightly before shaking her head. "I don't even wanna know. That sounds good though. Need help?" If he was doing it for her benefi, the least she could do was offer some assistance.
~~~
Wes knew that look and he raised his brows. "Not that!" he protested, giving her a gentle nudge in mock horror. "No... just cause I've like been coughing and rolling around all sweaty. Not got enough energy to do it myself, anyway." He laughed and nodded, moving her into the bedroom. Any other scenario....
"I wouldn't mind help. I get in a fucking mess. I like get lost in the covers and can't get out, it's really stupid."
~~~
Hope giggled, the sound quite melodic and her cheeks flushing slightly. "Well! I mean you're the one who said it like you'd been all... doing something nasty in there." She grinned. "I've seen the sheets that come off of your bed. You've a very active imagination, apparently." She couldn't stop giggling as she followed him down the hallway to the bedroom.
"Go get the clean set," she instructed. Men. They couldn't do anything for themselves. She started stripping the present linens off of the bed so it'd be ready when he got back, scolding herself in the back of her mind for not thinking to go grab something clean to sleep in tonight.
"Hey Wes," She called out to him as he was off tracking down the clean sheets. "Do you have a shirt or something I can borrow to sleep in? I didn't think to go get anything before coming by."
~~~
"I did not, I..." But Wes couldn't finish that sentence because he was too busy blushing and trying to ignore Hope's comments. He'd almost forgotten they'd been living together but he hadn't thought she'd... notice that
Obeying her instructions like a good little healer Wesley went to the linen closet and dragged out some sheets. He wasn't entirely incompetant.because he'd lived on his own for years and when he'd wanted to be fresh for Roger he'd managed just fine! But remembering some stuff was hard, especially in his dozy state.
As Hope mentioned a clean shirt to wear Wes poked his head back around the door, panicking slightly. Did he have any clean shirts? "Uh... check the closet...? I'm sure there's some stuff in there." He normally wore nothing to bed but he made a mental note to find some fresh boxers.
~~~
She hadn't really noticed. She was only teasing. But he was a man and men had urges and she was fairly certain that he was no exception to that rule. She took a stab in the dark and it landed, that's all.
And no, perhaps he wasn't entirely helpless, but it had been a while since he had been on his own, right? And living in Ric's house was sort of like living in a hotel. Things got done whether you got around to doing them or not. It was actually sort of odd the way that that worked. It was like Rick had little house elves running around that no one ever saw or something. Perhaps it was some bit of magic that the oh so perfect Blake had conjured up. Ugh.
Sheets off, Hope trudged over to shove them all in a hamper before moving to check the closet as instructed. There were not a lot of options hanging in there but she manged to find a clean button up that would do just fine. "I'm changing," she announced as a warning for him not to enter prior to stripping off her clothes and slipping into the shirt. Good thing he was a bit tall and she was a bit short. It came down just to mid-thigh, just enough to cover her ass.
~~~
Chez Gay was an incredible place where sheets were washed and cleaned without Wes even moving a muscle. He suspected Godric did it in the middle of the night by hypnotism or something. He doubted Will would do it. Maybe Blake... but it had continued even in his absence. Unless Wes did it sleepwalking.
Seeing as Wes mostly wore t-shirt it was probably slim pickin's. Stopping at her word, Wes was just behind the door as she changed. He was going to be good. He wasn't going to peek. But then curiosity got the better of him as usual and he stepped back, peeking through the crack in the door. He could only see the curves of her body, nothing personal, but still the feeling was a strong thought of "Why the fuck did Blake give her up?"
~~~
"Done," Hope called out once she was clothed again, folding up the clothes she had worn over to the apartment so she'd have something to wear tomorrow. Ugh. Tomorrow. She didn't want to think about that yet. Tomorrow she would have to figure out a game plan. Tomorrow she would have to figure out where to go from here. Tonight all she wanted to do was get some much needed sleep and maybe some cuddles. Rumor had it that Wesley was good at that.
Heading back over to the bed to wait for Wes to come in with the sheets, she had him toss her the bottom sheet once he'd arrived. She then proceeded to demonstrate the best way to put on clean sheets without getting tangled up in the process. Of course she was short and the bed was big and there was a little climbing and bending required which probably would have been better suited to some less revealing clothing, but she honestly didn't think much of anything about it.
"There," she announced once the bed was made. "All better."
~~~
Wes knew she was done. He'd been watching her since, but the word made him snap back into action, clearing his throat as he walked back into his bedroom. Despite Hope's smaller stature the job was done much quicker than it would have been. He didn't know whether it was embedded in female DNA but they were always so - efficient at this! No faffing around, no getting caught up and falling off the bed...
"It looks good enough to sleep in," he said promptly, nodding his approval of their work before he immediately went to mess it up, clambering beneath the sheets. If she wanted cuddles she'd get them. Even if she didn't, she'd get them. The healer adored being close to people when he slept and reciving comfort from being someone's teddy bear.
~~~
Hope gave him a playful little scowl. "You messed it all up!" She then laughed before she moved to flip off the light and then climb into bed beside him. It was with a moderate amount of timidness that she scooted in close, and when he finished the job of closing the distance for her, she exhaled a sigh and nuzzled her face against him.
She was quiet but thinking, in spite of her every intention not to. And it was a few minutes after they'd settled before she asked, "Are you planning on moving back here?" Maybe he'd just needed a short break but intended to go back. But if not...
~~~
As he'd expected Hope was a dream to cuddle. She smelt great, she was soft and feminine. Wes might just have given her a squeeze of appreciation as he held her, nuzzling into her hair. Men were great to do this with too, but women - something about them just melted into his body and....
"Hmm?" Her question was met by a dozy response, as Wes was sure he was almost asleep when she spoke. Clearing his throat he tried to answer. "Oh.. I dunno. I just needed a break. I love living with Ric, you know, he's my brother from another mother. And father. Years ago. But I do like having my own place, I guess. "
~~~
Wes was nice to cuddle with too. He was quite large which she liked. She fit rather nicely at his side and the broadness of his chest made her feel secure. She'd say that she'd missed this, but she'd done quite a bit of just this this weekend though it was different with Garret than it was with Wesley. Garret had two men who loved him to go home to and though she tried not to let that thought spoil their time together, it was always on her mind.
"Oh," she replied, failing to mask her disappointment in his answer. She was quiet again for a moment before she added, "I can't stay there anymore. I know everyone thinks it's probably childish and I should just move on already, and I want to, I just... I couldn't. I wouldn't be able to if I were there, with the both of them, all the time."
~~~
Wesley understood Hope's predicament probably more than she did, except he'd had about ten similar experiences. The last was having an empty apartment where he and Roger had been building a life together. He'd not been back there for months and he doubted he would for the forseeable future.
He didn't like her disappointed though. "Well..." he started, thinking things over. "I know what you mean. It's hard trying to move on when they're right infront of you. So maybe we could be roomies, like, until you felt like you wanted your own place...." Though that had been the intention for Ric and Wesley it had never really been realised.
~~~
If anyone would get it, it would be Wesley. He'd had his heart broken not that long ago either. If Roger were to come back and be with someone else, there was no way in hell he could take it either. And it was nice to know that he understood and didn't think she was being juvenile or petty about it. She wasn't trying to break them up, after all, just give them, and herself, space, no matter how much it hurt or disappointed her.
"You don't have to do that, Wesley," Hope replied, shifting slightly so that she could see his face in the dim light that filtered in through the closed blinds. "I mean it sounds to me like you're probably ready to move on on your own again, and you should do that if that's what's right for you right now. " She smiled reassuringly. "I'll be okay."
~~~
"Thing is though I don't want you to be alone, Hope," he said softly, looking down at her pretty face. "I mean... I have things to do I guess. I need to be prepared for the future, I need a place that's... good to raise a child, I need room for people to visit, you know? I'm just offering my company, so that you don't feel like you're isolated. Cause you don't deserve to feel that way. It's just... shitty circumstances."
~~~
His words were really sweet and they were almost enough to make her cry, but not quite. Her eyes did sparkle a bit from the effort of preventing that from happening though. She wanted to say something in response, but the only thing she could think to say didn't really seem all that adequate. She could fumble for words, but that never worked out right. So instead of allowing herself to go off on a rambling tangent like she was so often prone to doing, she leaned up and pressed a kiss against his lips. It was nothing serious, not intense or intended in any sexual sort of way, just a way of saying "thank you" and "I appreciate you" without having to use words to say it. Words didn't always mean much.
~~~
He really didn't know what to expect from her in these circumstances. A miserable or unhappy Hope was unpredictable at the best of times but now she was inclining closer towards him in their most intimate moment.... and as she delivered a gentle kiss against his lips Wes found his breath hitched for a moment before he sighed, contentedly, closing his eyes. If it was to show that she appreciated him, then he would show the same, and he stroked a strand of her hair from her face in a gentle movement before breaking away, smiling. "Sexy," he teased.
~~~
That single word was enough to make Hope blush as she rolled her eyes, a smile curling her lips. "Shut up." She gave him a slight shove with her hand before she settled beside him, still keeping in a position where she was close enough to feel him but far enough away to see his face.
"I didn't always get it," she remarked. "Why you and Godric are so close. You seem so... opposite from everything that he generally drifts toward but..." Hope narrowed her eyes slightly. "You're a much different person on the inside than the person that you put on outward display. Why is that?" If she had to guess, she would say it was a defense mechanism. If you never seemed to take things seriously then nothing could ever really hurt you, right? And if no one knew who you really were, you could never really be rejected.
~~~
"True!" Wes found himself grinning as he looked down at her bashful little face, almost like this was post-sex or something, as he was stroking gently up and down her arm in affectionate gesture. This was nice. He could really get used to this but thought wasn't about to be entertained at all. Nope.
Her observations were met with a little sigh, and not that he wanted to make this uncomfortable he drew in a breath. It was an awkward subject really... and she was bang on the money in her assumptions. "I guess.... I dunno. I've always been this way. Being a nurse you can't let anything get to you. I kinda like that I'm surprising, so when people bother getting to know me they realise that I'm better than I might put on. I've got a lot of history, just don't like showing it."
~~~
Hope blushed some more and buried her face against him for a moment so he would stop staring at her! It was kind of funny. There were plenty of people who had told her she was beautiful or sexy. There were even a few that had made her believe it for a little while. But in the end, it never really lasted and she was always left with lingering self doubts. Blake had done some pretty significant damage in that court and the choices she had made since him had only further perpetuated those lasting impacts.
"Well I personally thought you were a walking disaster. Or a walking hard-on, one or the other. Maybe both." She pursed her lips in a small frown. "I was wrong though. I've been wrong about a lot of things and a lot of people but it's nice to be wrong in a good way for a change." She exhaled a small laugh as she added, "I think a lot of people think I'm a disaster too. Or a slut." She frowned a little. "And they could possibly be a bit right on both counts."
~~~
She should have believed that she was beautiful, Goddamnit, because she was. Any woman who didn't believe that they were wonderful and gorgeous needed to be shown just how much of a gorgeous creature they were.
"I am both," Wesley agreed, nodding enthusiastically before Hope continued, a little smile on his face. Her words concerned him and he gave her an extra squeeze, a frown on his face. This really wasn't tying in with his previous thoughts of appreciating the female form and personality. She shouldn't feel like this, and he turned to her, a serious expression. "I don't think you're a slut. I don't think you're a disaster either. You know what that is? Fear. You think you put yourself across that way, because you feel that way. You shouldn't. Your first love hurt you real bad, as they always do... and it takes a lot of time to get over. Couple that with turning into a vampire by someone so close.... you're a miracle to have survived what you have and don't you fucking forget it."
~~~
Hope had only come here for a place to stay for the night. She hadn't expected to have a serious, in-depth conversation about her inner most feelings with Wesley, of all people, but that's what this was turning into, strangely enough. There was a frown still pursing her lips as she listened to him speak, watching his face and knowing that he was being as sincere as he'd ever been in any given situation.
"I know I'm not," she assured him, as he seemed so concerned about that. "I just.. want to feel differently, and it's easier to find a quick fix, something to temporarily take my mind off of it, than it is to actually.." She sighed. "Work through it, I guess." Which was probably what had happened to him after the situation with Roger. "And now I'm just tired of that, I guess. It doesn't really work so well anymore. I just... I want more. As much as I try to tell myself that I don't, that everything's okay, I do." She pursed her lips in a frown.
"I want to mean more than just a fetish to be explored," As the case was with Fox. "Or someone to escape with for a weekend before going back home to your lovers." Granted, going to Boston with Garret had been her idea, and it had been fun, wonderful even, until the end. And then it was over and she was left feeling like shit. And while she knew she meant more to him than that, it still wasn't really enough.
~~~
Wesley nodded at Hope's words. He really did understand. Getting over someone was hard, and you looked at several options: sex, momentary emotional connections, going off the rails, trying to find yourself, all that shit. All it boiled down to was trying to forget how much you missed the other person, and the felings that they'd generated. If it wasn't enough, then Hope needed to meet the next step.
"So you know what you need to do?" he asked, but it was really a rhetorical question. "Stop doing what makes you those things, and go out and be what you want to be. I totally feel like Tyra Banks right know or something but it's true, you just... when Roger and I broke up I stayed in bed for 5 days, crying and eating peanuts. And the only thing that shook me out of that was being dragged to the shower, and as I was naked and ashamed I realised what a dick I was being. Life was still happening and I was fucking missing it. Roger had gone but I was acting like the world had ended... like I had ended. It's fucking painful but I'm still breathing so fuck it....."
He had another point to say. "You can want more. There's no rule to say 'oh no you can't have that' is there? Just fucking take it."
~~~
It was a lot of hard work and it was exhausting. It felt like every time she took a step forward, she took two steps back. And it was usually her own doing. She put herself into these situations that led to the way she felt in the end and she just didn't know how to stop it. He was right though. She needed to start valuing herself more. No one could do that for her but her.
Hope exhaled a small laugh as he compared himself to Tyra Banks and shook her head. "You missed your calling. You should have been a black, female supermodel." She smirked. But the smirk faded and she remarked, "It kind of feels like it's ended sometimes though, doesn't it?" But he was right. There was more to life that just that. She'd been so in touch with that in Mexico and now it felt as though that progress was lost now that her memories were restored. The experiences were still the same though. She just needed to learn to value them still.
"But how do you take something when you're not even sure what it is you want to take? Or from who?" That was the real question. "How do you know that the person you're going to decide to give a part of yourself to is the right person, the right fit, and not just... going to take you for granted and then toss you away when someone better comes along?" She exhaled a breath and closed her eyes for a moment. "It's so incalculable and illogical and... scary."
~~~
"Hope - that's a stupid statement." Hope wanted his help and so she would get it, as blunt as it came. "You know the story of Romeo and Juliet? Most famous love story of all time, because it was true to life and true to love. You think there is any logic in Juliet falling for a man of the rival gang to her family? There's no fucking logic at all! And the story's a perfect example of how tragic a love can be even if it's better than most of us experience. Like - I was sure nothing could keep me and Kimmi apart then I just - screwed that up and got landed in jail. I fucked up my marriage. And then I met Roger - and I was sure, I was so sure that we would last forever, and... he left me.
"So to say that love is illogical is true. But to expect it to be anything but is stupid, because emotion isn't logical. Why do we still love people that have hurt us? Why can't we just... snap off the feeling? Because it's fucking strong. It's stronger than any logic, it just is. Like to other people there's no way you or I could do what we do, or exist how you are. We're fuckin' unexplainable freaks of nature and so's love - but it's also fucking incredible when it's right."
~~~
Hope frowned just a bit when he called her stupid. Or not her specifically, but what she had to say anyway. But he was right. Love wasn't logical. Emotion wasn't logical. You couldn't predict it or train it the way that you could pretty much anything else. The heart just did what it wanted and felt what it wanted to feel in spite of anything and everything the brain had to say about it.
"I just wish there was some way to... to have the great parts without having the risk." Hope pursed her lips in a frown and then shifted slightly, nuzzling against him more. "But I guess that's part of what makes it great, that it's so risky and certain and you don't know what to expect or when to expect it." She exhaled a small laugh. "It's like lightening. You never know when or where it's going to hit or with what force." Of course she equated it with a scientific anomaly. That was how her mind worked, after all.
"Know what I miss most?" Hope tilted her head once more so she could look at him. "Moments like this. Quiet ones. Meaningful conversation. Being completely and utterly exhausted but having too much to say, to talk about, to sleep. Being close in a way that goes beyond sex." She smirked as she added, "Not that I don't appreciate a nice romp in the sheets." She settled her chin on his chest. "You just.. don't get moments like this when it's only sex."
~~~
Wes really understood where Hope was coming from, and he was pleased that she felt that way. It was remarkable now she mentioned it that he hadn't made a move, they hadn't made it all about a bang in the sheets, or anything else. It had been meaningful, intellectual conversation. Something he'd not had in a while. It appeared that even he had decided to favour one night stands and sexual experiences over settling down to speak to someone.
"Sex doesn't equal love." It seemed pretty succint before he added, looking down at her, "Isn't that what you women preach about all the time? Stupid sentiment.." But of course he was teasing. He was actually enjoying this, both of them connecting.
~~~
Hope rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah." She smirked. She knew he was teasing, of course, but he had a very valid point. "It doesn't equate it, no. It should be an expression of it, an extension but... Most people don't look at it that way." She gave a small shrug of her shoulders. "They just wanna get off." Not that there was much wrong with that, but sex lost meaning when that's all it ever was.
She shifted to snuggle back down again, a small hand moving up to rest atop his chest for a moment before busying itself with drawing little designs against his skin with cool fingertips. "Thank you for this," she said softly. "This is exactly what I needed tonight. You've no idea."
~~~
Wesley let her say her piece before he sighed, staring up at the ceiling. He had nothing more to say. they were both in agreement on that, that sex was an extension of love, and yeah it was good when you had a need but if that's all you experienced it got old really fast. Wes had used sex with everyone as an experience, an extension to life itself, for many years and he supposed to some degree he still liked to do that, experiment with everyone. Reality, though, was that he believed he was too old to find love a fourth time. Three was it, and it was very lucky for a guy like him.
"You're welcome," he murmured softly, pressing his lips to her head but not quite kissing. "but... I think I have more idea than you realise."
~~~
Hope could feel the shift in him. She was still an empath, after all. Emotions came through pretty loud and clear sometimes and she could feel his sadness. It made her sad for him in turn.
"I think I do," she replied, and then she moved again, scooting up on the bed a bit so that she could really see him as she asked, "What's going on in that head of yours? I feel it, but I don't know what you're thinking and... I've told you what I'm thinking about. It's only fair." For him to share, for her to listen, to be there for him the way that he was being there for her right now.
~~~
Maybe it was because he could tell that Hope had sensed it, but the fact that she had shifted to look at him almost made him spill everything immediately. His brown eyes were shining as he looked up at her, as if caught in his sadness, feeling all of a sudden terribly vulnerable.
"I'm an old man, Hope," he said softly, "and I've loved three people like... they're the world to me. And I've lost every one of them through my fault or not. So. You know." He glanced at his hands, not crying, but there was definite moisture. "I think I'm out of chances. Roger was it for me. I'm entering the end years, an'.... I gotta accept that."
~~~
"That is not true, Wesley." Her tone was almost scolding, though not lacking in empathy. Not at all. "You are.." She began, and then she moved a hand to grab his chin, tilting his face up so he had to look at her. "You are an amazing person. And you still have plenty of life left to live and... and love in your heart." She took his hand and moved it up to place it upon his chest, atop of where his heart beat strong in his chest.
"Don't give up on yourself. You aren't even close to the end." Hope leaned in to press another chaste kiss to his lips before she wrapped him up in a tight hug. Now it was her turn to cuddle him and stroke her fingers through his hair. Turnabout was fair play, right? She couldn't just need and take and not give in return. That just wasn't her.
~~~
It was easy for her to say, and easier for her to see. Wesley couldn't see himself as anything but over the hill. Even though he was 40 which was no fucking age, he'd done drugs and damage to his body. He felt like he had around ten years at best unless he did some weird... magical spell to prolong his life, and so of course he didn't see the point of anyone wanting to fall in love with him. There was no future there. Maybe it was the defeat of not even being able to keep Roger, but he felt.... beaten.
"I feel it," he said lamely, not even responding to her kiss. The hug was welcome but he truly didn't like how this felt. Helping other people was so much better than feeling like this.
~~~
"I think we all feel it some days, Wesley. Even me and I'm, you know, what I am." But she had been on death's doorstep more than once and she could therefore relate to how it felt, how... desperate you could feel when it felt like it was almost the end.
"But I wouldn't lie to you," she concluded. "I'm not a liar. I'm many, many things, but that isn't one of them, and you are..." She pulled back from the hug so she could look at him once more. "You're brilliant and funny and... incredibly sexy and anyone could fall in love with you. They'd be lucky to."
~~~
Wesley's inecurities were starting to show and whilst Hope's words were kind and in his best interests, the healer couldn't help but smile a little and laugh, dipping his head to stop her seeing any upset that might show on his face. "Oh I dunno about lucky," he said running a hand over his eyes just to discreetly wipe away anything which might ruse him. Even though, you know, he couldn't change the thickness of his voice.
"I'm just tired, Hope. I'll be fine. I have a beautiful daughter who needs me. I'm fine."
~~~
"I do," Hope retorted almost instantly, giving him her most reassuring smile.
At the mention of Mandy, she nodded her head. He did have a daughter who needed him, sure, and that was great. It was something worth holding on to. But she couldn't help but think that Mandy's pregnancy had something to do with him feeling old, perhaps. And she also knew that... Well a man needed more than just that. Any person needed more than just that. "You don't just have Mandy who needs you. You have an entire school of students who need you to keep them safe and keep them well. You have colleagues who need you as well and friends and..." She moved a hand to lightly stroke his cheek. "I need you." She let that sit there for a moment before she asked, "Do you've any idea where I'd be tonight without you, Wesley Mcintyre?" She smiled. "I'd be.. locked up inside some cold laboratory somewhere pouring over some ancient musty volume trying not to fall to bits."
~~~
An entire school was a job, colleagues didn't really need him, friends were.... well they were his friends, but he wasn't sure what a friend he was to them, and as for Hope? That made him take notice as he looked with shining eyes to her. The corner of his mouth turned up in a slight smile. "You'd still be beautiful, though," he said softly, "So it wouldn't be all bad. Not that I want you to be sad in a cold place doing some random science shit, I'd much rather you be here...."
~~~
Why did he keep doing that? Hope's cheeks flushed and she tried to repress a smile. "Shut up," she muttered again. And then she laughed and moved a hand up to cover her face for a moment and groaned. "Ugh. I thought I'd outgrown the whole.. blushing thing."
Hope rolled her eyes at herself as she dropped her hand from her face, giving him a sheepish grin before she replied honestly, "I'd much rather be here too." She paused before she added, "With you, just so we're clear. Not with anyone else. Because like I said before, you're amazing and..." There was a strange, nervous tension that was suddenly forming in the pit of her stomach, an almost sickening sort of anxiety, like someone had put her stomach suddenly in knots and it had nothing to do with a new onset of illness.
"I uhm.." She kind of stammered on her words for a moment. "I'm very lucky to have you. As my friend. In my life and... whatnot." Wow, that was a bit odd.
~~~
Oblivious to any nervousness she was displaying Wesley merely grinned. It was great to feel like he could grin again, just because he'd made her blush. What was it the third time this evening? Smug, the healer allowed her to stammer all she liked before he chuckled, thinking her adorable. "Whatnot. I'm a whatnot? I like that..." He shot her a smile and then laughed again. "Well if you'd rather be here with a decaying old man then... I'm glad that I'm better than the shit you'd be doing elsewhere."
He was all prepared to go to sleep, now, having been upset, happy, soothed Hope and drained himself once again. But he had to ask.. "Are you naked beneath that shirt? Like - no pants? Cause if you are this means it's the longest I've gone with a half naked girl without feeling her up, so i want a medal. "
~~~
He may have been oblivious but she was damn sure not oblivious to it. She didn't get nervous and blushy and stammery anymore. She hadn't been that way since... Wow, this was not at ALL expected. Of all the people to make her feel and react this way, it was Wesley? Really? She'd never even been remotely attracted to him, not that she would tell him that, because on the surface he was all wrong but getting to know him in recent months, most especially now, she'd seen a side of him that she'd not noticed before and... Yes, well, it had obviously gotten a reaction of some sort.
"Hush your mouth. You are not a decaying old man." She scowled playfully at him, and then she inhaled a deep breath and attempted to force her brain to settle though it seemed to have put itself on hyper drive all of a sudden.
"What?" The question caught her off guard and it took a moment for her brain to realize what he was saying. A brow quirked sharply and then she smirked. "You want a medal?" She scoffed as though offended. "Well I want a refund! Here I am wearing my lucky knickers and not so much as an ass grab!"
~~~
Oh if Wesley could hear her thoughts now... thankfully being a mind reader was not in his capacity so he was left to sit and grin up at the flustered woman, tapping his fingers together as he waggled his eyebrows. Yes, he wanted a medal! And despite her protests he was gonna get one. There was a pause after she finished speaking and Wesley then realised...
"Oh - sorry..." With huge pleasure the healer rolled over slightly, reached around, grabbed one cheek of Hope's ass and squeezed gently before rolling back to the same position with a smug look on his face. "No refund. Medal now."
~~~
The ass grab earned him a rather loud squeak followed by a gasp and a "Wesley!". Hope then broke into a slight fit of giggles before she gave him a nudge and a scowl and then resigned herself to her fate. "I guess I did sort of ask for that, didn't I?" As for a medal, she pursed her lips in a frown and tried to think of something. "Well, I don't exactly have a medal in my possession right now but..." She gave him a bit of a shy smile. "Settle for a goodnight snog instead?"
~~~
Her reaction was priceless and it took all he had not to giggle and tease her like a kid, which is what his instinct told him to do. His chest did rise a little with suppressed giggles as he saw her face. She'd implied it! She'd gotten it. And it was a sweet ass, too. Again he thought 'what were you thinking?' RE: Blake giving her up but then he supposed the demon had always been a closet homo and the sexual prowess of Godric had just dragged it out of him. Oh well... more for Wesley!
AND this had just got interesting. Wes frowned a little though. "What the hell is a snog?" He'd heard the term but knew nothing of what it meant as Godric didn't like the slang.
~~~
That question only made her brow arch even more before a grin formed upon her lips. "You don't know what a snog is," she remarked, and then she licked her lips before she added, "Close your eyes and I'll show you." He had to put a little trust in her and she'd clue him in. No trust, though, and there would be no snogging.
~~~
"I'm not weird english so no..." He commented but the fact she'd show him made him slightly nervous. After giving her a scrutinizing look Wesley closed his eyes, awaiting this lesson. He did trust her, and knew this 'goodnight snog' couldn't be anything bad.
~~~
Hope looked offended for a moment. "I'm not weird English either. I'm Scottish." But that hadn't changed her mind about showing him what it meant. She smiled when he, like the trusting fellow he was, closed his eyes. She felt that anxious knot in the pit of her stomach once more before she leaned in to kiss him. It was soft still but perhaps not as chaste as it had been the other times she had kissed him tonight. After all, a proper snog wasn't at all proper. There was usually even some tongue but, you know, only if he encouraged it.
~~~
"Same thing." He knew of the rivalry between the two lands so he grinned a little with his eyes closed, patiently awaiting this revelation. As it turned out - not so bad at all. It was a surprise at first to feel Hopes lips then instinct took over, responding to her. He understood now, a snog was a fun kiss! One which wasn't heated but kinda messy and fun. He loved snogs! And a hand ran through her hair in appreciation, a soft breath leaving him.
~~~
Hope didn't want things to get heated so she just didn't let them. She kissed him until she reached the point where it could potentially get that way and then she pulled away, nipped at his lower lip, and smiled. "And now you know what snogging is." She smirked.
"Goodnight Wesley," she pressed one more chaste kiss to his lips before she settled down against him, snuggling up close and forcing herself to close her eyes. She needed sleep. Her brain would just have to wait and process tonight some other time.