Wednesday - February 4th, 2009
Who: Syn and Bastian When: Evening Where: Bastian's apartment What: A request
Bastian hadn't heard from Syn in awhile and it was starting to bother him. It seemed that every time they moved towards making some sort of commitment or understanding that one or the other would disappear. He was standing over the stove, barefoot in his kitchen and making a pot of french onion soup, alone with his thoughts. Even when he had a day off, it was hard to pull him from what he loved to do. Still, it was second nature and it left him time to think while doing something productive. To ponder reasons why he hadn't heard from the sprite in a week, hadn't seen him in longer. It was puzzling, to say the least. Hearing a knock on the door, from the insistency it sounded like it wasn't the first one, Bastian set the soup to a low simmer and went to greet his unexpected visitor. He smiled warmly, pleased to see who waited on the other side. ~~~ There were very distinct reasons why he hadn't seen Syn for a while, and those were the same reason that brought Syn to Bastian's apartment tonight. He had had a lot of thinking to do and... he was not entirely pleased with the route this thinking was taking him but something had to be done. He couldn't put this off forever. So while Bastian looked pleased to see him, something that only made this seem that much more impossible, Syn looked like he could quite possibly be sick to his stomach as the other man opened the door. "Hey," he said in a small voice, and then as a thought that he couldn't quite repress, he added, "I've missed you." And he had, honestly. ~~~ Syn words didn't match his expression and that concerned the shaman, but only for a moment. Smiling gently, he reached out for Syn's hand and brushed a soft kiss across the knuckles. "I've missed you," he admitted. "C'mon in. It's freezing outside." Stepping back, he tugged Syn in. "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting to see you this evening." Mostly because he hadn't for awhile. He reached out to help the man out of his jacket. "Do you want anything?" Bastian started going through the mental list of food and beverages available, ready to spout them off. ~~~ This was going to be harder than he had anticipated and he had already decided that it was going to be hard. That was not a reassuring thought. And as Bastian kissed his knuckles, he offered another small smile, slipping inside once invited and thinking for an instant about resisting giving up his coat but he did it because he really didn't have it in him to go on about that when there were more important things to be discussed. "No, I don't want anything. Just... I need to talk to you." He always hated the way that sounded. ~~~ Bastian's hands froze for a split second, hearing that omnious phrase. "Okay," he murmured, taking the coat and tossing it over the back of a chair. This already didn't sound like a social visit. He turned slightly, confusion evident but he wasn't worried. Bastian didn't really think he had a reason to be. They'd made an agreement and maybe all Syn wanted to do was to restructure some of their boundaries. That was probably it. At just the thought, he relaxed a bit. "Have a seat, Syn. It's far more comfortable." ~~~ Syn inhaled a breath to strengthen himself before moving into the living room, the fleeting through running through his mind that this could be the last time he would ever be welcomed here. He hoped that wasn't the case but he wouldn't really, couldn't actually, blame him if that's how it turned out to be. He sat down and sort of folded into himself the way he always did when he was uncertain of things. "I need to talk to you about Will and.. I don't really even know where to start." He frowned. "He's drowning. Like... James really fucked his head up and.. I didn't even realize how badly until just the other day." ~~~ Bastian followed Syn into the sitting room, taking a seat on the sofa and frowning for a moment when the sprite curled up into a chair rather than the cushions with him. Oh well, that was his choice, and Bastian wasn't going to be cross from it. Hearing about the angel didn't surprise him either. Syn and Will were extremely close and very good friends. It made sense that Syn would be worried about him. Leaning forward, he watched the other intently. "Relationships are never easy, but I will admit that from what I've heard Will's definitely gotten the short end of the stick. I don't fault him for being broken like he is." ~~~ "I... haven't been a good friend," Syn said, lifting his gaze to meet that of the other man. "I've been self-absorbed, lost in this with you, and I've neglected him when he... Just when he needs me." It was clear the guilt that he was holding onto right now in regards to this, and he hoped that Bastian would infer and be prepared for where this was heading. "I can't.. be like everyone else and turn my back on him when he needs me. I need to.. to be there for him too and I can't do that with... with you." ~~~ Bastian's expression subtly morphed from one of understanding to one of concern. He trusted Syn, wouldn't have asked for what he did otherwise. But he wasn't expecting this. Slightly shocked, he dropped his gaze, looking at his hands as he tried to figure this out. He didn't even try to play at misunderstanding. "So you're saying you want out." Before we even get started. ~~~ Syn could practically hear those unspoken words and they caused him to flinch slightly before he managed to correct himself. "I'm saying that I... I need space. I need.. freedom to be the kind of friend for him that he needs me to be and I can't do that if I... if I belong to you." Will demanded too much, too much that he couldn't give if it wasn't his decision to make so... He had to take that ability back now. There was no other way. ~~~ Part of Bastian understood what Syn was doing, the reasons behind it and even admired him for it. Still, there was a much larger part that just wanted to lash out. Bastian didn't take the unexpected well, not when he was suckerpunched in such a manner. So he did the best thing he could do: he closed down.
His expression dropped into one of total neutrality, body forcibly relaxed and Bastian leaned back into his chair, steady gaze on Syn. The only indication to his feelings was the fire in his eyes and even that he dampened. "Then I release you. I'm not one to keep someone where they don't want to be." ~~~ That was perhaps the worst thing he could have done. It made Syn feel much worse than he did already in even making this request, demand, decision, whatever you wanted to call it. Especially that last part. "I don't.. NOT want to be here," Syn contested. "I just can't turn my back on the promise that I made to him to be his friend, to get him through this." And if there was a way that he could do both, could be both here and there, then he would, but it wouldn't work that way. A planet couldn't revolve around two seperate suns. ~~~ "I'm not asking you to turn your back, am I?" The question was posed calmly, the complete opposite of the turmoil churning inside him. "I'm giving you the freedom to do what you need to do. That's what you wanted, isn't it?" Bastian cocked his head to one sign, feigning confusion. ~~~ Syn exhaled a breath in exasperation. "I want you to understand," he replied simply. "And to not... turn this into something that it isn't, a choice or something personal or... any of that because that's not how it is and I just... I want to know that you get this." His shoulders slumped as he gave a soft exhalation of defeat. "But fine, I'll just.. go." ~~~ Syn had the time to get used the idea whereas Bastian had been trying to process it for all of five minutes. "I understand. I do. That's why I'm not holding you to your word." He knew the words were coming out sharper than daggers and he tried to reign in his tongue. Standing, he sighed, a frustrated hand running through his hair. "Will needs you and so you should be with him," he said, pausing to raise hazel eyes to Syn. "Just don't be surprised if I'm not available to pick up where we're leaving off." ~~~ And there it was, the comment he had been waiting for and that he knew was coming. Syn had made a choice and Bastian had to make his now and it was clear from that statement alone what that choice was. "I wouldn't expect you to wait for me," he said in a soft, small voice, and then he fished in his pocket for something which he then placed down on the coffee table. It was the key Bastian had given him. It wasn't his to have any longer. "I'm sorry," he said as he glanced at him, and then he moved quickly toward the door. ~~~ Bastian didn't try to stop him. He wouldn't kick him out, but right now being around the sprite only tightened the knot in his stomach. He watched the key being placed down, staying perfectly still until the door closed. After a moment he finally reached down to pick up, not the key, but a coffee mug from that morning. Bastian looked at it, turning the mug over in his hands. A moment later, it was hurling through the air to shatter against the far wall. Bastian stalked to the stove and shut off the burner then headed back to his bedroom to grab his bag. He needed to get out of his head for a few hours.