[Backdated] Wednesday, December 24th, 2008 Who: Ana and Adam When: Wednesday evening Where: Adam's apartment What: Ana finally comes clean about a few things.
Once Ana was off the phone with Will, she settled her phone in her lap and felt herself become a bit nervous as she looked up at Adam. So far everyone was pushing for her to tell Adam about her sire, and they had a point, but it didn't make what she was about to do any easier and that's why she decided to stall for a bit longer. "Will sends his regards from Ibiza.."
After getting out of the shower Adam had politely feigned ignorance as to who Ana was talking to and to what she was talking about. It was what a good boyfriend did. As he dried himself and put on his briefs he busied himself until she'd decided to end the conversation, which was when he smiled at her. "I hope you sent him mine," he said idly, folding his towel.
Having Adam drying off and getting dressed in front of her proved to be quite a distraction while on the phone, but somehow she managed to keep talking and not hang up so she could pounce on him instead. She had missed talking to Will and it was good for her to clear up where they stood. "Oh, I did," she replied with a smirk as she checked out his ass in that underwear. So nice. Her eyes soon flickered back up, the twinkle in them gone as she prepared herself for the oncoming topic. "So... there's something I need to tell you before we leave..."
After sitting down on the bed he looked at Ana, searching her eyes. She looked nervous. Considering the man she'd just had on the phone he supposed it was something to do with that, and so he frowned a little. "He's not coming with us... is he?" Not that he'd ever met Will or spoken one word to him, but he'd heard of him. Intimately.
"No, no. He's not," she replied quickly as she shook her head. Ana wasn't surprised that that could potentially bother Adam, but now it worried her even more to tell him about her sire. "It's, um... it's about being in New York and the people we could potentially run into. Or rather, person." This really wasn't easy to talk about. Ana never shared things about herself like this, but in this case, she really had to. Adam had to be prepared in case Saul happened across them.
Adam blinked, merely relieved that a sparkly giant thing wouldn't be coming to New York to drag Ana to parties and stuff. Settling he nodded, resolute. "Okay," he started softly, showing her that he was listening. Whatever it was he'd be prepared for it. Not like she was a walk in the park, he'd learnt to deal with surprises, good and bad.
Taking a deep breath, Ana raked a hand through her hair before speaking. "I really don't even know where to begin with this one," she admitted. "My sire still lives in the city. He was the one that sent me and Ava here to learn better control... and he thinks we're still students."
The penny wasn't dropping yet. Adam still glanced at Ana like she was going to drop some A bomb on him and so he shifted a little. "He won't approve of me, that's what I'm guessing...?" He knew he was right but didn't want to seem like he was assuming too much.
"Among other things, that's what I'm thinking.." Ana shifted nervously, brushing off an imaginary speck of dust off her skinny jeans. "We never told him that we're teaching now and Ava never told him about Charlie either, because she was afraid of what he would do or say."
Nodding, Adam took this non-information in. It was what she wasn't saying that was more important than what she was trying to give to him. With a sigh he rubbed his forehead, mulling it over. "So you believe that telling him about me could put either of you in danger, or myself."
At his statement, Ana nodded slightly. "I have no intentions of telling him though. It's just that.." she heaved a big sigh before moving on. "Remember when I went to New York to help Nox pick out a tuxedo? We ran into my sire and I had to pretend that Nox was still my professor and luckily he played along, but Saul practically made us go to a den with him. I had to play it up like I was trying to seduce Nox and then feed on him."
"Huh." That was all Adam said and it was probably some kind of foreshadowing to a mood because he didn't really speak much when he was considering something heavy. Even his forehead developed a low frown as he took in those words. "So.... you went to a den with Nox, tried to seduce him, all for your Sire.... and you didn't quite mention this before."
Ana could sense the oncoming mood and began to frown herself. "I wasn't actually trying to seduce him. It was all for Saul's benefit. If I had acted like nothing sneaky was going on between us, he would've known something was off with me." Nox had been the one to make her realize that and he had a point. "The reason I didn't tell you was because I didn't want to have to talk to you about my sire and our fucked up relationship."
"But I'm right in thinking that your sire is the one who actually made you who you are, and that he could take you from me at any moment, so you pretended to fool around with another man and never told me this whole little.... scenario, until you realised you were taking me to the Lion's Den." A den he wasn't sure he'd want to go to right now.
This was exactly what she didn't want to happen. Fuck Nox and Will and their damn logic. Everything seemed to be going downhill right now. "I didn't think it mattered, Adam! Don't you understand that I'm just trying to keep him from hurting you? That's why I'm telling you all this. I wanted you to be prepared in case anything happened."
"I don't care that he might hurt me, Ana," he said suddenly, angrily and forcefully. His blue eyes were narrowed and he seemed prepared to stand. "I care that you decided to keep something from me. Be it that he didn't know who you are now, maybe.... but more that you did something with a member of this school, had to do some act or whatever it was, and you still didn't think to tell me. I don't care that you did it, I care that you lied."
"Well, I care that he might hurt you," Ana's brows furrowed as she replied just as forcefully. "All I did was feed on him for a fucking second! You've seen me do it before in class. The only difference this time was that Saul practically made me do it, but I didn't want to. And I didn't want to lie to you either, but I was just trying to keep you safe."
"You KEPT it from me, Ana. Don't you think I'm a big enough boy to handle this? Haven't I proven that I deal with anything apart from dishonesty pretty well?" It didn't matter what she was saying but how she was saying it, how it was implied.
"Because I'm fucking scared! It has nothing to do with the way you handle things and everything to do with the fact that's he's the only fucking person on this planet that scares me to death." Sighing, she raked a hand through her hair. "I know I should've said something before, but I panicked. I don't know how to cope with this shit."
With a sigh of his own Adam shook his head and stared at his lap. It was a lot to consider but now he gave himself a chance to breathe he was able to see it a little clearer. "I think I preferred it when you were doing slinky shows for your best friend." And he meant it in the best way. Time to explain. "I don't like someone who scares you. Who has that control over you."
At Adam's first comment, Ana furrowed her brows in confusion. What on earth was he talking about? Luckily, he clarified and it made a little more sense. "And you think I like it? I had no choice.."
"Of course I think you like it, you're so weird that way," Adam said sarcastically, rolling his eyes and then standing. "I just don't... like it. That some man could force you to do those things it's not right."
Ana remained sitting on the bed, her expression still serious as she looked up at Adam. "Unfortunately, it's all part of being a vampire. I can't really refuse him much.."
Adam had a theory to test. "So if he finds out about you and I, and he doesn't take it well," he began, pacing up and down and speaking conversationally, "and he orders you to leave me or kill me. You will do whatever he asks."
Ana's eyes widened almost immediately after he mentioned killing. She remained silent for a moment and then shook her head slowly. "He can ask me, but I... I won't."
Adam was unmoving. "I thought that you had to do what your Sire compelled you to do. And if he scares you so much what would be to stop you." Maybe he was being harsh but he needed to know. She had not told him something important to her and whilst he understood her reasons, he now wanted to understand the situation.
"It doesn't work that way. It's not like in movies where if he gives me an order, I have to go through with it. It's... I don't know. It's difficult to explain. There's this kind of.. feeling I have towards him that makes me want to do what he wants. But I can fight it if I want to."
With a small breath Adam dropped himself into the chair near the dresser, relaxing back and running a hand through his damp hair. Maybe that was ok. Maybe. He leant his head against his hand as his elbow rested against the surface of the wood. "Why didn't you tell me? It wasn't protecting me, that would be not telling him."
"I don't know," she replied with a shrug and a shake of her head. "I guess I just didn't want you worrying about it if you didn't have to." Sighing, Ana looked back up at him. "It's kind of different now if you still end up going to New York with me."
"I was in New York with you before and you didn't seek to tell me then," he pointed out, "Granted we were only at the beginning but I've been there with you. I've proven I can handle my own."
"That's the point. It was completely different when you were In New York with me last time. It didn't matter to me what happened then, but now.." Ana shook her head, thinking back to how tense and scared she felt when Saul ran into her and Nox. "This time, it's different. He could see us out somewhere and start asking questions like he did with Nox."
"Then if he asks questions, I'll answer them. I'm not scared of him, Ana," he tried to say in a reassuring tone but he figured it just sounded macho. "And anyone who wants to exert power over someone they're supposed to care for deserves to have them answered plainly."
Ana looked positively terrified as she stood up, shaking her head. "No, you can't tell him that we're together. Didn't you just hear what I said? There's no telling how he would react." Although Ana was convinced that Saul wouldn't take it too well.
Though he saw Ana's worry etched on her face Adam could only be honest. "I'm not going to go and find him to make a point, but if he sees or hears us I'm not going to hide the fact that I'm in love with you. I'm not going to spend my life living in fear, worrying if a trip to New York will end with my death. Humans are much scarier than vampires, I've seen the destruction they cause. It's more cold blooded than vampires could ever be."
"Why can't you just not say anything at all? I'm not asking you to live in fear, just don't do this. It's stupid to tell him something you can avoid saying so you won't get hurt." She was so incredibly scared now and wished that Adam was yelling at her again instead of saying that he would tell Saul the truth. Ana had told him this so he wouldn't get hurt, and here he was, grabbing the figurative bull by the horns and telling it to fuck off.
Ana wanted yelling? She might get her wish... "Because, Ana, YOU brought me into this. And you didn't mention a psycho fucking Sire at the moment that I fell for you. But now you've told me that the person who turned you's a fucking controlling dick that I can't even say boo to? Do you have any idea how that makes me feel, what kind of a man you want me to be around him?" It was demeaning, and frustrating, and Adam was swearing but he didn't care. She needed to understand.
"Because I didn't think that this whole thing between us was going to be serious! I never wanted it to be serious, but it happened and now I'm freaking out about trying to keep it together." Ana slumped on the edge of the bed, thoroughly frustrated. "I'm not trying to make you feel emasculated. I just.." Her voice hitched just slightly then. "I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
Adam rubbed at his face, feeling his anger fading though he didn't want it to. That meant he was going to agree to whatever she was proposing because she had that tone in her voice that said she was scared and needing him, and though he wanted nothing more than to continue arguing his point he sighed. "Nothing bad will happen." He stood, walking over to where she sat and settled next to her, taking her hand in his. "I promise."
Ana looked from their hands clasped together and back up to him. "Are you telling me nothing bad is gonna happen because you're not gonna say anything or because you think you can handle Saul?" Asking was the only way she was going to know exactly what he meant.
Grr to clarifying. "Both." His mouth curled into a soft smile. "I can do both, Ana. I don't want to ruin Christmas with you."
Even after he answered, she gave him a wary look. She wasn't convinced that he was gonna give up that easily. "So what are you gonna do if we run into him somewhere? Are you gonna tell him the truth?
"No," he said in measured tones. "I'm not going to spill the beans off the bat. I wouldn't do that to you. But if he pulls any shit, I will be telling him."
And there it was. Adam wasn't completely backing down. Ana turned to face him a bit, looking displeased. "Pulls any shit like what? Like dragging us to a den?"
There was, definitely, no pleasing this woman at all. Adam sighed. "You would be the one to be dragged, Ana. Not me. I wouldn't go. You want me to back off, fine, you're your own woman and you can fend for yourself. I'd tell him I loved you, and then I would leave."
Ana had to sigh as well. "You would leave me with him after saying that?" Throwing up her hands slightly, she shook her head and looked around. "I don't understand you. I don't understand this need you have to tell him that."
"Fine then I'll say you're a skanky whore who wants my blood, take her away," he said, wafting his hand before standing up again, walking to the door. "I can't win with you, right now. I say I'll try, compromise, but you don't want that. You want full on submission, you want me to keep quiet. I'll keep quiet. You won't hear another word."
"I'm not asking for submission!" she stated forcefully as she stood. "I appreciate that you'd try, but I don't want you to get pissed off if he says something or does something you don't like. You're not the one that has to submit to him. I do. But that doesn't mean that you have to do the whole male posturing thing with him either."
He wasn't going to dignify that with a response, so instead Adam continued out of the room and to the kitchen where a nice bottle of bourbon was waiting for him. He took out a crystal glass and poured, then sipped at the contents. Good. Smooth. Another. She could accuse him of posturing, of doing whatever she believed this was, but she was missing the point entirely.
Letting out a frustrated sigh, Ana stood in his room by herself for a moment, trying to gather her thoughts. This was exactly why she didn't want to tell Adam about Saul. Adam was still a military man through and through so he was never going to give into fear. He was gonna face danger head on, even if this time it was her sire. Taking a deep breath, she walked out of the living room and into the kitchen with him. "Adam... "
Silence. Not a word. He merely continued to drink, thoughtfully as he held his glass, swirling the contents. Male posturing. Male fucking posturing. With a glare he ignored Ana, putting on the radio which was playing Christmas tunes. He was sick of Christmas tunes.
Ana's brows were furrowed as she regarded him. The glare didn't bother her at all, but what infuriated her was the fact that he ignored her and put fucking Christmas music on. Without a thought, Ana stalked over to the radio and threw it off the table. "Fucking talk to me!"
Adam didn't flinch but stared at the radio as she threw it away, frowning. He looked back at her. He could say anything, respond to her request, advise that he was still going to do it regardless... "I liked that radio. I hope you bought me one for Christmas."
"I don't give a shit about your radio," she responded as she walked towards him. "I'll get you a new one if you just fucking talk to me. Do you know how difficult it is for me to admit that I'm terrified of this situation and the potential harm it could bring?”
"Yes I know it's difficult for you," Adam began slowly, "but you're so wrapped up in fear that you're not recognising how hard it is for ME to admit that I feel like I would rather have him tear my throat out than deny that I love you."
Ana's brows furrowed in a serious way though their was a layer of something like pain beneath the surface of her gaze. "I..." It felt like the words were stuck in her throat. "Why would you put yourself in danger like that?"
"Because I love you, Ana," he replied as if it were obvious. "Why should I hide it from some guy who doesn't deserve or respect you? Why should I deny myself the right to protect you from someone like that?"
The wrinkle in her brows remained as Adam spoke. Ana walked closer, stopping in front of him as she rested her hands on his chest. She looked at him carefully for a moment before speaking. "I know you just want to protect me, but..." she paused for a moment and sighed. "He's just..." Ana truly didn't know how to get it across to Adam that this was serious to her. "He's unpredictable and it terrifies me that he could possibly hurt or kill you."
Maybe it was time to put his masculine performance on hold. Though he was strong and brave, he didn't want to present his feelings and risk getting hurt, simply because Ana was scared of that. He could show internal strength, steadfast. Taking her hands in his he sighed, gently. "I won't provoke him," he assured her, "Should we meet I will be civil. But if he so much as lays one finger on you in a way I don't like..."
Ana continued to watch him carefully as he spoke. She could tell it was taking a lot for him to back down even this little bit. Looking down at their hands, her expression still remained serious though her tone was hushed. "What would you do?"
That was like saying "how would you react if your girlfriend was either smacked up, held over a cliff or abused?" There was no set answer. Instinct would take over and he wouldn't be able to stop it. "Use my powers," he said simply, because it seemed the easiest thing. "He can't touch me. He can't touch you. We leave."
"That might stop him at the moment, but what about after that? He'd come after you and me and maybe even Ava..." Looking up at him, she looked more like a scared little girl than her confident, icy self. This was new territory she was walking into yet again.
"You can't live your life in fear of him!" Adam said, passionate once more. "I know he's important, I know he has influence and to have him gone would tear you apart inside, but if you let him control you, he's always going to do this. What if one day, you decide to get married? Or.... adopt? Or something like that? Or move to somewhere a little less cold and live a happy life for as long as you have someone?"
Ana's eyes widened and her body tensed as Adam spoke. She let go of his hands and backed away from him a bit. "I'm... I'm not letting him control me, he just has that control over me." Her mind felt like it was short circuiting at all these thoughts. "I don't want any of those things. It doesn't matter."
"You don..." Adam's face fell and his lips thinned as she said it. Everything was forgotten apart from those words, I don't want any of those things.... she didn't want to get married, have kids, move away, she didn't want what Adam wanted. "So you want to stay between New York and here, lying to your sire and keeping me secret til I die, right?"
As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted saying them though they were mostly true. The last thing she wanted to do was cause Adam any pain, but she had done it anyway. "It's not like that. That's not what I meant."
Without another word Adam merely nodded and walked out of the kitchen, heading towards the bedroom where he opened a drawer and brought out some jogging pants, then fished around for a t-shirt. It was cold out, sure, but he wouldn't notice much once he'd worked up a healthy sweat. He just needed to get out. Away. Clear his head.
Pain took over her features again. Fuck, she hated this so much. Ana sighed and, after a second, she followed Adam back towards his bedroom. "Adam... come on. Look at me."
"I'm fine I just need a run." He wasn't mad, he was disappointed, which was worse. As his sneakers were tied, because he'd dressed swiftly, he finally looked at her. "Just a run, Ana. I'm tired of this."
Even though he wasn't showing any signs of anger, Ana could tell that she had hurt him and she hated that. In the past, she was so uncaring, not blinking an eye when she hurt anyone, but things had changed. It hurt her to her very core, so much so that she even started to tear up. "Please... I love you."
"I love you too, but apparently that has restrictions." On second thoughts he needed to grab a jacket. Right now he couldn't respond to anything she was saying or take it in. The fact she still didn't want to do anything he'd said, not even marry him maybe? Were they just going to be at this stage forever? "I'm done packing. I'll be back in an hour."
Ana heaved a heavy sigh, raking a hand through her hair. "I didn't mean for it to come out that way." Usually, she was the one running away when things got tough, but now it was Adam. It was odd. But what kind of future did he think they could have when she was going to live forever in the same form, but he was going to grow old and eventually die? "Please don't make me beg. Just stay."
"I'm not making you do anything. I'm not your sire." Adam walked past her and spoke again. "It's just a run." It's what he did to clear his head, get rid of tension. Maybe he'd sprint. Get it out better that way.
Closing her eyes, she tried to push away the hurt that was clawing at her insides. Taking a deep breath, Ana let him walk past her before she spoke again. "If you don't want to go to New York anymore just tell me now and I'll leave."
Adam actually paused at that. He was a little confused. He could run and leave it, or run and come back and have it out again... "I guess the real question is do you want a future with me or not?"
Once he spoke, her eyes opened up, but she didn't want to turn around and look at him. Ana already felt like she was showing too much emotion and she didn't want to let anymore of it seep through. "What kind of future could you possibly have with me?"
"The future I'm with you for," was Adam's answer. "The future WITH you. I dunno what you see, maybe forever at this school doing this thing, but I knew what I was getting in with and nothing's changed. I still want everything I used to want. It's up to you if you wanna be the woman I do that with."
Ana's brows furrowed as she finally turned around to look at Adam. "I don't want to be at this school forever." She paused for a moment and sighed. This conversation really was turning out to be a lot deeper and more complicated than she had bargained for. "I don't know exactly what it is that you want. Do you really want the whole white picket fence cliche?"
"I don't want a cliche, Ana, I want a life," he shot back, face angry. "Now that the military isn't an option a real life is. I want to have a happy life, Ana, and I want it to include you, and yeah I want a few kids eventually and yeah, I want a house of my own. Wherever it might be I don't care, I wouldn't care if I was happy."
Regarding his words carefully, she had to frown a bit. "I don't want kids. I'm not good around them. You saw what I was like with Maggie." Stepping towards him a bit, she continued on. "I don't know if I could give you the life you want. But I still want you."
"What you're like with a growing child doesn't...." Adam sighed, shaking his head. "You want me, right, but you don't want the picket fence or anything... you don't want kids, you don't wanna get married, you just want to be us, until I'm old and grey, on my death bed...."
"Don't talk about dying," Ana replied quickly, shaking her head as she cast her eyes downward. "I'm not the picket fence type. You know that. And the whole institution of marriage is pointless. It's just a piece of paper." Ana had never been keen on the idea of marriage before, but she was even less so lately after seeing Ava and Will's respective marriages fall apart.
"I don't want the picket fence either, Ana, all I know is that I don't want to have to feel like I'm living half a life when I go to this place or that place because someone won't approve of us! Or that you don't want to be there, or that it's pointless?" Adam sighed, then, running a hand over his face. "Marriage isn't essential. God knows my parents' marriage was a sham and everyone else I know has been miserable with it. But what are we just gonna do, keep moving house? I don't even.... we're not even fucking over Christmas yet and you're .... fuck!" As he brought his hands down from gesturing several books and ornaments from opposite sides of the room flew off their respective shelves and collided with each other in mid-air. Adam frowned.
Ana had to just stand there and stare at him for a second. This was so surreal. Never in a million years would she have believed that she'd ever have a conversation like this with anyone and have it be serious. "So what is it that you want from me then if I don't want kids and you say that marriage isn't essential?" She wasn't trying to be difficult, but he was confusing her. "I don't know what we could do." When the things flew off the shelves and crashed in mid-air, Ana flinched slightly and moved back a bit. This wasn't good at all.
"I want to live my life with you! I want to not be put in a box every time I want to go to New York or have to wear blessed chain mail in case some dude decides he wants me neck as a snack! THAT is what I want!"
It scared Ana when she first realized that she loved Adam, but it scared her even more at this very moment because she realized just how much she loved him. It was a disconcerting feeling for someone who had never wanted anything like this. Ana cleared her throat before speaking, not wanting to sound like she was going to bust at the seams though her voice didn't have the usual bite behind it. "You'll be fine," she replied almost numbly. "I'd rather kill him then let him hurt you."
Adam turned to her then, his look searching and confused. After everything, her worrying, acting like her sire was the most..... "But you wouldn't rather I tell him about us? Or has that changed now."
"I don't know," she replied honestly with another sigh. "The thought of it still scares me, but..." Ana shrugged, not quite knowing how to continue on.
With a sigh Adam shook his head and then sought the comfort of a chair. Clearly the aim of running was not on his mind now and he leant back, silently staring at the ceiling before he chose to break the silence. "I dunno."
Ana regarded him quietly for a moment before speaking up. "My telling you what I want you to do is pointless because I know you'll just do what you want. And you already know how I feel about this so..." she shrugged again. "Do what you want and we'll deal with the consequences."
Adam started to laugh a little and covered his eyes with both arms, crossing them over his face. "You know that this is just the same as me asking you to do something? You'll do what you want, and I'll do what I want, except that's not it at all. You want me to back down from him, fine. I will be his bitch if it will make you happy."
"I don't want you to be his bitch!" she replied as she threw her hands up with a thoroughly frustrated growl. "That wouldn't make me happy at all. This is all about preventing bad shit from happening and not about getting you to cower before him."
He finally looked at her, tired and worn. "Then what's the ideal situation, you go and see him, or he finds out about us, or he wants to see you, and what do you want me to do?"
She shook her head silently, not even knowing what a real ideal situation would be in this. "Ideally, I would want him not to care that I'm with you. I'd want him to leave me alone, to let me live how I want." Pausing, she looked out the window. "I don't know if that would happen sooner rather than later. Or without... something else interfering."
"I didn't say ideally, cause let's face it, this is hardly ideal." Adam seemed defeated, something he never usually get. "I have a girlfriend who wants me to spend time with her only, not let her sire know that she has a boyfriend cause he'll try to kill me, the military disowned me because of my powers playing up, coincidentally my father is an ass who's dying of throat cancer, I've not seen my other family since I was twelve because of the same powers, I mean really, what's ideal about any of this? Nothing. Nothing is ever ideal."
Adam wasn't the only one feeling defeated right now. Ana had no idea what to think or say anymore. Letting out a frustrated sigh, her fingers began to rub her temples. "I just want you to live. I don't want to have to worry about you getting killed or about preventing it.."
It was only when she spoke that Adam looked out infront of him, calmer, sadder. "This isn't..." He sighed, shaking his head. "This isn't about that, Ana. At least not any more. You don't want me to put myself in harms way then I won't. I promise."
Ana looked away from the window and back at him now, her expression one of confusion. "Then what is it about?" She was at least thankful that he wouldn't put himself in harm's way, but it didn't feel like she had accomplished anything at all.
Adam stared at his hands, not wanting to do anything. Since visiting Texas it had made it clear how far he'd come, and how much he'd missed out on... "My dad is dying," he said softly. "And I can't do anything to save him. My family aren't there to save him. He's the only one I got."
A sad expression came over her as Adam spoke about his dying dad. Ana knew all too well what it was like to lose a parent since she'd had both ripped from her side at a young age. "I'm sorry about your dad," she replied just as softly. "I wish there was something-" Her mind was luckily faster than her mouth and she stopped herself before she finished that sentence. Technically, there was something that she could do.. something that Saul had done for her, but that wasn't a good option.
Sighing Adam shook his head. "Doesn't matter. You know? It just doesn't matter..... it's done. It's been twelve years. I have no family. I won't.... miss not having one, you know?" He turned to look at her. "I don't expect you to understand or really... give a shit about him. But I do."
His words struck a deep chord with her, so much so that she had to turn away because she felt as if tears were threatening to fight their way to the surface. "I know what it's like to lose family... to feel helpless and like you have no control whatsoever... to lose a part of you and never feel like you'll be whole again." Closing her eyes, two tears streamed down her face though she remained with her back towards him. "And it hurts like nothing else could."
"I know. You know what's it's like to lose them and it's... hard, especially the way... you had it happen," he said softly, assuringly, because he wouldn't want her to think that he was being a heartless bastard about this. "But you still have Ava and thank God you do. You will always have Ava. My little brother was taken from me, same day my Mom left, and my Dad disowned me, so I would... like to have some new family. You know? You're - kinda it."
Aside from opening up to someone, it was the thought of losing them that put Ana off from relationships. She didn't want to go through that pain again, and now that she was a vampire, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later. Her eyes stayed closed as she tried to control the emotions that were swirling through her and when she spoke again her voice was small. "You do have me."
He knew this was a very hard moment for her, dragging up family. So he stood, walking over to her slowly so as not to alarm before he wrapped his arms around her middle, hugging her to his chest as he placed a kiss against the back of her head. "And you have me, should you ever find a use for me..." He hoped to make it light.
When Adam put his arms around her, she closed her eyes even tighter and hunched over though she didn't pull away from his touch. The outpouring of emotions were just too strong for her to handle as a few more tears rolled down her cheeks. A moment after his kiss, Ana's arms slowly came to rest on top of his. There was nothing else that could be said right now and even if there was, she wasn't sure she could get anything out.
"Come on, let me warm you up some B positive, yeah?" he soothed, stroking down her sides and trying to get her to ease up a little. He didn't like making her upset and certainly not because of some dumb macho family-issue thing he had going on since November. "And I'll get packed for New York. And maybe... I could organise a night out for you and your friend Will for when he gets home or something..."
Finally opening her eyes, Ana hastily wiped the tears that had tracked down her face. She appreciated how he was trying to make her feel better, but it still felt a bit foreign to her. Nonetheless, she straightened up and nodded before walking to the kitchen with him. At his next words, she finally allowed herself to look at him. He was going to plan a night out for her and Will who was someone he clearly wasn't that fond of? "You would do that?"
As he put the blood bag in the microwave he stepped back looking a little sheepish. "Yeah. I mean, why not?" There were many reasons why not, none of which he really wanted to go into. But it seemed Will was her dear friend, one of her best, and he wanted her to feel free. "He's going through a hard time. He needs his friends. And you seem like you could do with a night out and catching up with him..."
Ana knew exactly why not and she was so glad that he didn't go into any of those reasons. She did miss hanging around Will though and Adam had a point when he said it would do them good to have a night out. Putting a hand up to his cheek, she caressed it before pressing a kiss to his lips. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Adam smiled down at her then kissed her once again, softly, before the microwave pinged and he drew out the bag, pouring it into a nearby mug. "Let me know when he's back and I can pamper you both. I've never pampered a guy before, you'll need to give me tips."
After all this, Ana was somehow able to crack a small smile which soon turned into a look of amusement. "You're going to pamper us both?" she inquired as she arched a brow. "That should be interesting. Maybe send us to a spa."
"Send you to a spa.... I'm not rich." He grinned at her then went over to grab a drink for himself. "I could maybe like... pay for a hot car to drive you to some pretty restaurant for lunch or a massage in a hotel. Something like that."
Taking the mug from him, she shot him a little crooked smile. "Alright then. Hot car to drive us to a massage at a hotel sounds good. Hell, you don't even have to splurge for the car since I don't mind driving myself around."
"No, no, hot car, hot chauffer so you can both... do whatever it is you do when perving over something." He shot her a smile. "Then drinks and massages, maybe even some fruit or something, and then a nice meal and you can do whatever you want to afterwards."
"You want me to perv over another hot man with Will? You're amusing." Ana had to laugh slightly at his comment. Adam really did know her and her friendship with Will fairly well. "It really is sweet of you to do this when you don't have to."
"Oh yes I do," Adam argued, chuckling. "If only to get you out of my way for a night or so. You and he need to re-connect. I mean our marriage isn't ending.... and he needs some Ana attention, obviously. You want to get back in his good books or something....”
"To get me out of your way?" she echoed, her brows raising slightly. "So you can go to a spa of your own and fawn over some young, hot thing?" she asked with a laugh. Taking a sip from her mug, she nodded slightly. "I do want to get back in his good graces. Besides, being around me makes any man better."
Adam nodded, enthusiastic. "You're always in the way. Shoes, clothes, make-up... I need a guy's night. So I'll just..." Go out with who, exactly? "Find the butchest guy in school and go out with him. Maybe I could ask Garret? Not exactly butch but he could do with a night not-so-drunk I'm sure.." Ana's insistence that she made any man better made Adam laugh and not all too agreeing. "Uh huh we'll see what state he's in when he gets home"
"Garret?" she said, now laughing harder. "He's the butchest guy you can think of? That's sad. Declan even seems butcher than him even though he's missing a couple of marbles." Ana had to arch a brow yet again when he disagreed with her. "Oh, so you don't think I'm good now?"
"He's the butchest man I know. There's a difference. Plus he seems to like me and I need some guy friends around here, it's filled with Prada and Louis Vuitton and other names I shouldn't know because I'm a guy." Sipping at the drink there was a smirk playing about his lips as he wagged his finger. "I think you're TOO good."
"That's even sadder. And of course he likes you. You better be careful because that might just mean that he's trying to collect you for his harem," she replied with a laugh before looking at him with a naughty grin. "I don't think there's such a thing as too good."
"I'm not gonna be collected for anyone's harem, thanks, I'm not - into that." If he was he doubted he'd be with Ana any more. "Oh yeah you are.... so very good. Second's thought maybe he shouldn't get an evening with you."
"Good," she replied, looking at him from over her mug with a satisfied look on her face. "And why shouldn't he get an evening with me?" she teased. "You said it yourself... might be good for him."
"Might be good for him but not good for me. Maybe I'll be your chauffer instead..." He shot her a wink and then chuckled. "Oh God, I couldn't stand it... no second's thoughts just go and never tell me what happens."
It was amusing just how much he was changing his mind and it made Ana laugh. "Can't decide what to do now, can you?" she asked before finishing the contents of her mug. "Why wouldn't you be able to stand it? It can't possibly be because you wouldn't want me perving over you. So I'm guessing it must be because you don't want him hitting on you."
Considering her a moment Adam's brow wrinkled before he answered. "Well no I probably wouldn't notice. I did get a lot of attention when I was at - a particular - bar - during my escort days, because the woman wanted to take me 'dancing'.... that's not what bothers me. It's that you'd gang up that bothers me and I'm not sure my delicate little skin can take it."
Ana stood back and regarded him with a bit of amusement on her face as he spoke. It was still odd to think that he was ever an escort, but she supposed it wasn't that far-fetched since he was a handsome military man. "Of course you would get a lot of attention. Particularly if you were wearing a uniform." Which she loved. She found it unbelievably sexy whenever he wore it. "Aw, so now you're worried that you wouldn't be able to handle the two of us?" she teased as she put her mug down to run her hands down his chest. "Your delicate skin can handle me though..."
He chuckled. "No, I was not in my uniform. That was reserved for special occasions." Which all amounted to, say, oh one so far. "I can handle one you," he argued gently, sipping some more. "I can't handle two. Will is like the taller, male, glittery version of you with more expensive shoes."
"Good to know." Ana smirked, and if she had known that it was only one occasion so far, she would've been a lot smugger. She laughed then when Adam likened Will to a taller, male version of her. "You think his shoes are more expensive than mine? Have you seen my Louboutins?"
"Have you seen his six foot high wedge things?" Adam countered, walking to the living room. "Like the guy needs to be any taller! It must be custom made, or something, because he was like nine feet tall at the party and he didn't even wobble." It was like - aerodynamics he didn't even grasp. Ridiculous!
Ana had to laugh again. This was seriously amusing. Smoothing her blouse out, she followed him into the living room. "Yes, I've seen them. They're pretty fabulous. But I would be lying if I said it didn't concern me that you're paying so much attention to his legs," she teased as she sat down on the couch, grinning up at him as she crossed her own legs.
Adam shot her a look and then took a seat next to her. "I am not paying attention to his legs. I was paying attention to his height. He's humongous. A giant among tiny little people..." A pout was on his lips and he glanced at Ana, almost puppy-like. "Is he prettier than me?"
Once he sat down, she arched a brow at him. "Prettier? Of course he is, sweetie," Ana replied as she gave his cheek a quick pat. "I don't want pretty though. Pretty is what I'm supposed to be. Not you."
That was enough and Adam smiled, laughing a little before he drank the rest of his glass, sighing at the taste. "You're beautiful is what you are. I tell you what though, put a wig on and I'd hit on him...." A frown crossed his face and he reached to put the glass on the coffee table. "No more of that for me."
Ana sat back, thoroughly satisfied when he called her beautiful but then she had to laugh loudly, a slight shocked look crossing over her features as he said that he'd hit on Will if he had a wig on. "Wow. Yeah, definitely no more drinks for you. Remind me to keep you away from alcohol when you're near him."
"It's the whiskey talking!" he argued, pointing at the glass like it could say wicked things and force him to do stuff. "I'm just saying he'd make a good or convincing woman and... I'm shutting up now before my masculinity disappears."
"Yes, you should definitely shut up right now." It was amusing, but still weird. "Come on," she began as she patted his leg. "Finish getting ready so we can go. I'm getting antsy here."