Wednesday December 17th 2008
Who: Lloyd and Garret What: A visit Where: Beverly Hospital When: Wednesday afternoon Rating: PG 13
The news had drifted through the school slower than you might expect, or at least it had reached Lloyd at the last minute. They had new security. He thought it a little late due to recent circumstances then happened to enquire why, and oh didn't he know? One of the guards had had a heart attack. Big guy, huge flirt, attractive. Garret Foss his name was. Lloyd's instant thought was 'no' followed by 'Not my Garret. It can't be him'. because he was so fit, healthy and wonderful. And then a slow, nasty dread washed through him followed by the onslought of fear and panic. Spell damage was much more harmful to humans and changing back to a teenager was near-on insanely stressful. Whilst the other person was still talking Lloyd had grabbed his jacket and not even bothering to say goodbye, sprinted to his car. It was only on the way that he realised he had no fucking clue which hospital Garret was in, or the ward after that, or pretty much anything. He called the school, asked for information, then as soon as he found the right department at the right place he was striding through the corridors. Nothing but drive had carried him so far, the instinct his brain had told him to follow which was 'find him, get to him, see him' but the instant he was at the ward he stopped. He hadn't even considered Mal and Rorie were probably there, taking care of him at this very instant and not wanting any visitors. In a moment of raw defiance Lloyd thought 'fuck'em' and enquired as to which room Garret was in. This would be hard. It would be worse than hard. Garret would be in bed with tubes and oh fuck he didn't know even if he was still alive but he took it as a good sign that there wasn't any space-age technology around here that made people's hearts beat for them or something. With a deep breath he walked along to the door of the private room the nurse had kindly shown him, and after one moment to still his nerves he opened the door, stepping inside to see the sight that awaited him.
For the most part, Garret was just tired. He was tired of visitors, of nurses, of his mother being decent, tired of people worrying and mostly, he was tired of feeling like this. He was tired of being tired, of feeling sluggish and drained, tired of the medication making him feel like he was floating. He couldn't take another worried face or the quiet voices treating him like he might break if they spoke too loudly.
And he felt so much shame, he could barely stand it. He was supposed to be healthy, he ran almost every day. He could bench two hundred pounds! He was so healthy, and healthy people didn't have heart attacks. He was supposed to be strong, for both Mal and Rorie, and strong people didn't lay there in hospitals drugged up with a scar on their chest from their ribcage being cracked open. He was failing at everything he was supposed to be doing in his life.
He was half asleep when he heard the door open, and he groaned softly. It was either Rorie or another nurse, coming to take his blood pressure or poke and prod at him, or something else equally annoying and undignified. Eyes fluttering open, he was surprised to see Lloyd. Surprised, and regretful. "Go away," he sighed heavily, face turning from the demon. "You're the last person I wanna see."
---
Lloyd said nothing to that request and he certainly didn't obey it. The demon ignored most of what Garret said anyway. Remaining in the doorway he then closed the door, drinking in the sight of him. It might have seemed like hours to Lloyd but it was probably five seconds between getting over the shock of seeing his Garret so ill, and striding towards the bed to deliver a long, sweet kiss to the other man's lips.
He didn't really know how long it lasted for, didn't care. He only knew that when he pulled away he was smiling, stroking along Garret's cheek. "Funny. You're the first person I want to." He sighed, then, hoping that his eyes weren't shining too much with the tears he was keeping back. "I'm so bloody glad you're alright."
---
The last thing Garret had expected was for Lloyd to kiss him. He accepted it, wishing that he could reciprocate it well, wishing that he could feel the familiar swell of sex drive rising within him, but... it just wasn't there. He was almost disgusted with himself.
"I'm fine," he said gruffly, though he took hold of Lloyd's hand and squeezed it gently. He hadn't wanted Lloyd to see him in here, like this. Lloyd had always seen him as strong, and perfect. And now that image was ruined forever. He'd never look at him and not see this weak, pathetic... human. Garret had never been bothered about only being human, except a few times when he was trying to keep up with Mal. Now, though... now it seemed like some disgusting curse.
---
"You're a moody arse, that's what you are." And Lloyd was glad of it. The little pout and frown on Garret's face reminded him of when he'd suffered a cold back in Wales and mourned that he had the sniffles for a week. Man flu, oh God the man flu! Lloyd smiled both at the memory and that his hand was being squeezed. "But I know. You're fine." He brought Garret's hand up gently and kissed it, then looked for a chair. The panic that had set in was only just starting to dwindle and he felt like he truly needed a good sit down.
Scooting up close Lloyd then resumed holding his hand, looking at those fingers. "My 007 is always fine."
---
Garret was definitely a moody little thing. He had never taken well to being sick, and whined with the best of them. Lloyd had been the only person to experience it, because he was the only person that had been with Garret long enough to see him sick.
Scoffing at the affection, Garret at the very least didn't pull away from it. Some James Bond he was. James Bond would never have a heart attack, he'd never allow it. Captain Kirk would never have a heart attack. But Garret Foss? Pathetic little human, lying in a hospital bed. What good was he to anyone now?
"I don't need you," he mumbled, sitting up in the bed with a few short, struggling grunts. "I've got my boys coming in every so often," (only because he couldn't keep them out) "and my mom's here. You can just... go home and... live your perfect life with your perfect fiance who's going to live forever." The word 'fiance' was practically spat out, a curse word of the most disgusting nature. Lloyd was getting married. Why the hell was he here?
---
Lloyd couldn't pretend that Garret's words didn't sting, because they did. He didn't want to make a nuisance of himself but he didn't want to leave Garret either. He could have lost him and not known anything until fucking Rorie or Mal told him. He should resign himself to being third or fourth down the line for news of Garret, but he didn't want to.
Pushing down any lump that may have formed in his throat Lloyd then glanced down, holding Garret's hand a little looser. "I'm not going anywhere," he said softly, resolutely. There was also an undertone that warned he was not to be moved. "You may have all those people but you have me too whether you need me or not."
---
Garret needed Lloyd. Of course he did. He always had. But he didn't have him anymore. Alex did. Alex was going to have Lloyd for the rest of his long, beautiful life. "No I don't." Garret's voice was hoarse, whispered away from Lloyd, his head rested on the pillow, looking away. Lloyd was already gone to him, as good as moved away, might as well be across the state. Not in his hospotal room, holding his hand, taking the harshness being flung at him. Lloyd had left him once, Garret should have known that he would leave him again.
---
"Stop it." Lloyd's voice was quiet and pained, but also tired. Though Garret was not watching him Lloyd stared intently at him. The lines on his face were more exaggerated beneath the stress and the upset of being in here. He knew more than anyone how Garret hated feeling mortal. His personality was that of an invinsible man. This didn't suit him and Lloyd appeared to be making it worse. "I'm here. Right now. I'm here for however long you need me. And when I go back, I'll arrive home to forty speeding tickets which I will have no shame in paying because the way I drove got me here to see you as soon as I could. I was told you were ill half an hour ago, and half a fucking hour ago my world ceased to exist because you were stuck in here and I had no idea what state you were in.... so don't tell me you don't have me when I would have moved heaven and earth to be here for you."
---
Every word Lloyd said, everything, tugged hard at Garret's heart. He knew it was true, and he knew that Lloyd wasn't actually gone from him, he knew that he was the one doing the pushing. He and Riley had talked about this a little in therapy, and even though he had scoffed at the therapist, deep down he knew he was right.
"Guess you're glad you're not marrying me anymore," he said after a moment, giving a false smile. "The sparkle's all gone now, this is what you're left with. A sad, old man." Finally, he turned to look at Lloyd, his blue eyes sad and exhausted. "You traded up."
---
Expecting to be banned from the room Lloyd held his breath then exhaled slowly as the other man turned to face him. He was not amused, nor was he upset at those words. In fact he was quite annoyed. "If anyone is the master of self-pity it's you," he said sternly, but gave Garret a gentle squeeze of his hand. Stupid beautiful man. "You're not old. You're only sad because you are in this wretched building. And I didn't trade anything. You still have a great deal of sparkle."
Sitting up he moved to brush some hair from Garret's forehead, neating his style then he stroked his cheek. "What you are, Garret, is human. And I know you hate it but I wouldn't have you any other way."
---
Garret was old. Lloyd couldn't understand it, he wasn't there yet. He wasn't forty. And even if he was, he was a full blooded demon. He was still young by demon standards, practically a kid. Plus he was just so beautiful, his eyes and his smile, his face. Even his round little tummy that he hated so much, Garret thought was perfect. Lloyd shone so brightly, he always would. And Garret was getting tied down into a family and a kid and houses, and he was getting gray hairs. Gray hairs! And wrinkles around his eyes, and love handles! It was awful.
He stared at Lloyd for a minute, really looked at him, taking in his words. "You wouldn't love me anymore if I weren't human?" he asked softly.
---
The look Garret gave him might be enough to unnerve other people but not Lloyd. He knew why Garret was studying him so, and expected the question. "If you were raised a demon you might be different," Lloyd reasoned with a shrug. "You would certainly be altered as a vampire. As a lycan you'd suffer agony every month and I wouldn't want that. I'm not saying I wouldn't love you. I doubt anything in the entire wourld would change how I feel, but I don't know that you would bounce through life as wonderfully as you do now if you had eternity to live it. You know?" Though he still had to add... "I wouldn't complain if you were immortal, though. I don't fancy losing you. And anyway you need to cause more havoc and flirt a lot, and..."
Oh no. The tears were coming and Lloyd hadn't meant them to. He sucked in his lips to stop anything further but it didn't work. Shit. Lloyd had almost lost Garret and the shock of it was receeding, leaving the relief in its wake. The demon gave a sniff. "Oh God I was so scared," he confessed quickly in a whisper. "Don't do that to me again."
---
This was the Lloyd he knew. Babbling a bit, giving a very full and descript answer in his calm, therapist way, and then suddenly bursting into tears. Now Garret genuinely smiled, because this was the man he knew. And he loved this man. Sitting up fully, Garret cupped Lloyd's face, drawing him closer. "I didn't want to the first time," he said gently. "But at least now I have proper payback on you."
---
Smiling through the tears Lloyd nevertheless gave a bit of a pout and patted Garret lamely on the leg. It was the safest place. "Twat." At least he hadn't had to carry Garret's bloody body to the infirmary as he worried the life was passing from him... perhaps they weren't as even as Garret thought but Lloyd was not about to remind him. Eventually putting his hand on Garret's he sighed, saying nothing but not really believing anything needed to be said. When he thought he might be bordering on creepy looking into those eyes he still didn't pull away, but said, "Do you want any water?"
---
Garret knew this was hard on Lloyd, seeing him this way. But it was harder on Garret, and the people around him seemed hard pressed to remember that. Yes, he didn't have to look at himself, at his pallor skin and how weak he seemed. But he was the one in the hospital bed! He had the scar on his chest, the meds dripping in the IV. Would it kill any of them not to look at him like they did? "I'm okay," he said to the demon, laying back down with a groan and a sigh. "You could stop staring at me, though. I'm not going to die if you look away for a minute."
---
Blushing, as if he were caught, Lloyd then cleared his throat and stood, heading to get himself a glass. "It wasn't cause of that," he mumbled, then tipped some water back in his throat. Garret didn't need to be told the thoughts going through his head. "I'll get Wesley to give you a once-over when you're back at the school. Because I know, you don't want any more people bothering you here, and blah blah. You're sick of people looking at you as if you're - well, sick. And all you want to do is go out of these doors, smack the ass of the doctor or nurse that caught your eye, and go off back home." After pouring himself another drink he sat down, putting one leg over the over.
---
Frowning, well glowering actually, Garret crossed his arms over his stomach and looked up at the ceiling. "I don't need Wesley giving me anything," he said curtly. "And I don't need you taking care of me. I have enough mother hens in my life, telling me what I'm going to be doing when I get out of here, how I'm going to behave, reassuring me and all this other nonsense. I don't want any of it. And you gave up the right to try and take care of me, so why don't you just... go back home and kiss a patient or adopt a baby with your husband."
---
Ignoring Garret because he was a grumpy mess, Lloyd merely sipped at his drink. "You know I'm right, stop moaning," was all he said, picking up a magazine and flicking through. He didn't recognise any of the celebrities and didn't really follow anything but the scandals seemed interesting and there was a recipe page at the back. He also enjoyed the 'dear Aunt...' columns to laugh at them when they got it wrong. "You were the one who left me, so technically you gave up the right for me to take care of you. However you don't see me leaving, do you? So you're going to have to suffer. Ooh, 90% off..."
---
Garret could well lay there and suffer, and be angry, and his heart rate monitor could bleep a little faster as his blood pressure went up. or he could do what he did, because he was entirely a spoiled brat. Rolling slightly in his bed, he pushed the call button on the console by his hand, waiting for a response. "Yes?" came a reply a moment later.
"I have a visitor in here causing me undue stress," he said softly, though loud enough for Lloyd to hear. "Can you have security remove him from my room?"
"Is that... really necessary?"
"Yes," he said shortly. There was no response from the nurses' station, so either security was coming in or that nice little blonde girl was coming in, a bucket of smiles and sunshine, probably to try and diffuse the situation. Either way, the point was made.
---
Hurt crossed Lloyd's expression but it was replaced by one of resignation. The magazine was placed back, his jacket pulled down and he stood. Maybe he'd crossed the line in asserting himself, maybe Garret was just doing it to be an arse. Either way he knew he wasn't needed, or wanted. It wasn't his place to argue that point not now though it was clear he felt Garret could have asked differently.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said quietly, without looking at him, before slowly exiting the room. The little blonde nurse was indeed approaching and Lloyd passed her, oblivious. He would take his car slower this time, not needing to speed back, and then he'd ring Alex and update him of the situation. Then he would take a bath, repeat that it was important that Garret was ok, and probably cry a bit for various reasons he didn't want to think about.