Fisher Majors (hearitbleed) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2011-05-09 11:03:00 |
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Entry tags: | charlie, fisher, lyle, nox |
Friday November 28th 2008 - Early Morning
Who: Fisher, Lyle and Nox (Charlie briefly)
What: Early Morning Meeting
Where: Nox’s office, then his apartment
When: Around 2am Friday
Rating: PG
It had been an insanely long flight, and Fisher was exhausted. But Lyle... he couldn’t tell with Lyle. There was nothing to tell. All Eight hours of the flight, Fisher had stared at his brother, trying to figure out what this was, what was happening, what he could do. There had only been one clear thing for him to do, and that was to find Nox Alekos. And he didn't remember much about the man, but he did remember where he was. And it was most ironic that the last place Fisher had wanted to go was exactly where he needed to be.
The security people hadn't been as surprised to see the Majors brothers as perhaps they should have been. Fisher didn't recognize any of them, but that was no surprise. All of them seemed to recognize him, though, which was unnerving. But they were nice at least, calling to Nox's apartment to have him come to the security office and pick them up, offering coffee, and such. It almost made Fisher relax.
Almost.
Nox groggily answered his cell phone after knocking over the alarm clock and nearly sending the lamp to the floor as well. Lyle and Fisher in his office. The Majors brothers back at TJS. Fuck. He quickly explained the urgency of the situation to Belle, then hopped out of bed and threw on a t-shirt and sweatshirt to go along with his silk pajama pants. They looked extremely out of place with the SPD hoodie, but he didn’t have time to worry about his appearance. He barely took the time to find matching shoes.
Grabbing his phone and keys, he ran across campus to the security office, but he wasn’t out of breath when he arrived. He just looked stunned. Honestly, Nox didn’t expect either man to return. Ever. “Fisher.. Lyle,” he said in turn, nodding to both.
---
Fisher looked up when Nox arrived, feeling a sense of... almost relief, wash over him. This was a man in authority, he could fix things. He could fix Lyle. "Hey," he said softly, getting to his feet. "I... I'm sorry to be here so late but I wasn't sure where else to go, and you... well I think I'm supposed to see you." Biting his bottom lip, he looked over at Lyle, who hadn't stood up. In fact, he hadn't done anything. He was just sitting there, staring ahead, a crumpled envelope clasped tightly in his hand. He hadn't changed since leaving LAX. He hadn't said a word, made a sound. Nothing.
"Can we go to your office, or... someplace?" Fisher asked softly, voice shaking a little.
---
Nox shook his head immediately, “No, it’s no trouble. I always have time for you, Fisher.” Nox cared a great deal for Fisher, much like he would a son (a screwed up son). He’d drop just about anything to help the guy, and by the look on Fisher’s face, the worry etched into lines along his forehead and around his mouth, Nox could see that Fisher really needed help.
Having always been closer to Fisher, it took a moment to notice something wasn’t quite right wit Lyle, but when Nox did notice and hear Fisher’s suggestion, he nodded in agreement. “Absolutely. You’re welcome to come back to the apartment if you’d like. The spare bedroom is available.” He kept looking at Lyle. The kid resembled some sort of PTSD victim. “Lyle?” he asked, hoping for a response.
---
"No," Fisher said quickly, not wanting to intrude more into Nox's life than they already had, not wanting to invade his personal space. "Your office is fine." His arms were crossed tightly across himself, like he was literally trying to hold himself together. His eyes looked between Nox, and Lyle, hoping for some kind of miracle, that the man's voice might snap his brother out of... whatever it was. but of course it didn't.
"He won't answer you," he said softly. "He won't tell me anything. He won't... he won't say anything, he just... he's..." He could feel himself crying and he didn't want to, he couldn't, because he needed to be strong for Lyle this time. But he wasn't strong enough, he never had been. "C-can we go? Like, away from people? Please?" The security staff didn’t need to witness this.
---
“Sure,” Nox said gently, his eyes filled with concern as they narrowed in on Lyle. He walked over to the young man, and cautiously put a hand on one of the hunched shoulders. “Lyle, let’s go. We’re going to walk down the hallway to my office and talk for a bit.” He spoke in a calm, even tone. It was clear without being condescending. Nox didn’t want to talk to Lyle like he was a child, though he seemed to be trapped in some sort of state of shock.
Looking up to Fisher, he asked softly, “Bit of help, please.” It would be dangerous to upset Lyle right now. Fisher had managed to get him this far, he could get him to walk a few more yards to another room.
---
With a small nod, Fisher grabbed Lyle by the arm and tugged, the vampire getting to his feet without much fuss or expression. As they walked, Fisher kept his hand on Lyle's arm, almost like he was guiding him. Lyle's body moved, and he walked carefully, but he wasn't there. There was nothing in those eyes, no feeling in his steps. He was just walking, like a robot programmed. This had been how it had been at the airport, in the cab, leaving Elle's house. Nothing changed.
When they were finally in Nox's office, and Fisher sat Lyle down, and then he himself sat down, only then did it feel even remotely okay to break down a bit. "I don't know what happened," he admitted. "He was just... w-we had dinner and he was fine, and she was fine, and... I went to my room and it's on the other side of the house and and I didn't hear anything and then next thing I know he's coming into my room and holding the cats in one arm and he just... he didn't say anything. All this time, he hasn't said anything, he just..." Sniffling, Fisher swiped the tears off his cheeks, shaking his head. "He just dragged me out of the house, but we got in his car and he didn't drive. He just sat there. And so I keep asking him what's wrong, what happened, and... nothing. He hadn't spoken one word. But he had this letter in his hand, and it's got your name on it so I thought... well where else was I gonna go?"
---
Nox pulled a chair over to where the men were sitting. He didn’t need to be behind his desk at a time like this. He needed to get to the heart of the matter and figure out what had left Lyle shell-shocked. “What’s in his hand?” Nox asked but didn’t dare reach for it. The death grip indicated Lyle wanted to hold on to that paper and that it was likely the cause of the vampire’s distress.
As for Fisher, Nox reached back to his desk and grabbed a box of tissues, handing them to Fisher. “You’re safe here,” he informed the empath. It was hard to remember that Fisher didn’t remember much. Nox couldn’t talk to him in the same way he used to, and Fisher would need to be reminded that Nox was someone worthy of trust.
---
Even though Fisher didn't remember Nox much, he trusted him right now. He didn't have any other option, and it was a weak lead to follow but at least it was something. At least it was somewhere to start from. And Nox had been willing to come down and see them in the middle of the night, and help them. Right now Fisher would trust his life in the man's hands. Swallowing, Fisher looked at his brother, though he spoke to Nox. "It's a letter. I think. Or... something. All I could see was your name written on the envelope. I dunno what's inside. He wouldn't show me, he hasn't let it go." Releasing a shuddering breath, Fisher buried his face in his hands, bent forward, elbows rested on his knees. "Fuck, I dunno what to do," he mumbled.
Somewhere in Lyle's brain, it registered that he was where he needed to be. Nox Alekos. Blinking, once, his eyes flew to meet Nox's gaze, holding it a moment, then glancing quickly toward Fisher and returning once more to the demon's. He needed Fisher gone. There was no movement beside the glance, no sound made. Just a look, one steeped deeply in meaning.
---
“My name?” Nox asked, now more worried than ever. What in the world could be in that letter about him that would have caused this sort of reaction in Lyle.
Then Lyle gave them a new reaction. He wasn’t staring into space anymore. He was suddenly aware of his surroundings enough to look at Nox and really see Nox. The gaze was unnerving. “Fisher... could you please give me just a moment alone with Lyle? You can stand right outside the office, and I promise you I’ll take good care of him.”
---
It was obvious that the last thing Fisher wanted to do was to leave this room without Lyle. He was freaked out, his little brother was in some kind of shock, and Nox wanted alone time with him? What exactly was the man going to do, try sign language? Still... Nox had to know what he was doing. Fisher needed to believe that, because otherwise he was totally screwed. So he nodded, getting up from his chair, pausing a moment before turning and leaving. The door clicked softly behind him.
Lyle sat perfectly still, just staring at the demon, eyes never wavering until the door to the office closed. When it did, there was a beat, and then the envelope in his hand was placed onto the desk. It was crumpled from his grip, but two words were writted very clearly on it- Nox Alekos. As quickly as the lucidity had come, it was gone again. Lyle sat back in his seat, eyes looking down at the desk, seeming to cloud over with a withdrawal back into himself.
---
Nox felt like he was getting somewhere. Lyle moving and seemingly understanding his current situation, then he was gone again. Nox stared at him for a few moments in silence, not sure what to do. Then he looked to the envelope. It was addressed to him. Why was a letter to Nox sent to Lyle? Then it occurred to him. Lyle was a messenger. Someone gave him the letter to give to Nox. And that someone was probably responsible for Lyle’s current state of being. Nox didn’t want to open the letter, but he had to. Grabbing the envelope, he opened it and took a deep breath while staring at Lyle again, before turning his attention to the letter to see what it said.
---
Nox,
I need you to call Elle Franco and find out her condition. I've enclosed her personal cell, the house number, and the number to the hospital nearest her house.
Thank you,
L. Majors
P.S. Don't let Fisher take me away from this place.
---
Nox was extremely confused for a few seconds. Why had Lyle written a note asking Nox to check up on Elle? Then a bad feeling overcame the demon. He put the letter down and looked closely at Lyle. “Did you feed on her?” he asked carefully, not in an accusatory tone, but needing to know the answer.
---
Lyle stared down at his hands. He didn't hear Nox, did't see him, wasn't aware of where he was. There was just... nothing. Flashing in his mind over and over was darkness, and horrible images, and blood. There was always blood, too much of it. He was never going to open his mouth again. He couldn't.
---
Nox just nodded and put his hand on Lyle’s shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “I’ll take care of it. Don’t worry.” He got up from his seat then and went over to open the door again, motioning for Fisher to come inside. “Lyle needs to stay here, and I think you should stay with him. Go sit with him while I make a quick call.”
Nox finally sat behind his desk, looking to the letter again for the contact information he needed. This wasn’t a phone call he wanted to make, because he guessed the person on the other end would have grave news based on how Lyle looked. Nox still dialed the phone. He introduced himself to the hospital worker. “My name’s Nox Alekos. I’m calling to check on a co-worker who was brought to your hospital. Elle Franco. She was hurt in an accident. Can you give me information about her condition? She’s pregnant.”
---
Started at the quickness of the meeting, Fisher's head snapped up when Nox opened the door. He nodded, coming inside, taking a seat beside Lyle but remaining quiet. He didn't know what had happened just now, but he hadn't heard two sets of voices, just one. Which meant Nox had been talking, and Lyle hadn't. So what was going on? Why did Nox need to call someone? God, what if he was calling the police? What if something had happened and Lyle was going to jail? Fisher's hand shot out and grabbed his brother's, squeezing it tightly. He couldn't let Lyle go to jail, he couldn't.
Hearing Nox on the phone, though, hearing him mention Elle's name, and an accident... The medium's eyes widened as he looked at Lyle, who was not looking at anything at all. Something had happened. Something big. It was starting to make a little sense now. Something with Elle, that's why they'd had to leave like that, so suddenly, why he wasn't saying anything, why he looked so... dead. Something was wrong with Elle and Lyle had done it.
---
Thankfully, Elle wasn’t a no information patient, and the worker was able to relay her condition. She’d nearly bled out from what the hospital staff believed to be a suicide attempt. Her wrists all cut up. Then another piece of welcome information. Elle was stable and the babies were too. “Thank you. Could you tell me hours of visitation?” Nox scribbled down that information, thanked the worker once again and hung up the phone.
He walked over to the brothers and sat down beside them once more. “She’s stable. Same for the babies. She got to the hospital early enough. It’s going to take time, but I think she’ll make it. I can visit her tomorrow.. if you’d like.” He was addressing Lyle, hoping to calm the man enough to start talking again.
---
Somewhere in his head, Lyle heard Nox's voice. Stable. That's what mattered. Elle wasn't dead. The babies weren't dead. He didn't respond, didn't look up. Only two tears slid down his cheeks, that was all. Leaving wet trails, then falling cold onto his jeans.
Fisher watched Nox talk, his heart sinking in his chest. Elle was in the hospital, almost dead. Or she could have been dead. And Lyle was clearly the one to have done it. "Oh shit," Fisher whispered. "What happened? I mean... she's okay but... did... was it...?" He couldn't even finish the sentence. He knew that Lyle had to drink blood as a vampire, but he didn't want to think about him doing it from people, hurting them. Had he lost control? What if he hadn't stopped? What if he'd seen Fisher and...?
Pulling his hand away, Fisher looked at his brother, a mix of horror and sadness and fear written all over his face.
---
“I think she’ll make it, Fisher,” Nox reassured. This was not the time for panic. Fisher needed to calm down and avoid making Lyle feel worse about what he’d done. “All that matters right now is that she and the babies are alive and in good hands.” They couldn’t linger on what happened that put her in the hospital.
“I want you two to stay with me tonight. I insist. You can share the guest bed.” When things calmed down, Nox could figure out their permanent housing situation, but for now it was best if they stayed with him. He could keep an eye on both of them.
---
Neither brother was in any position to put up much of a fight. Lyle couldn't say anything, and Fisher didn't know what else to do. Even in his current state, Lyle had taken charge, had known what to do. Fisher would have fallen completely to pieces. "Okay, sure," the older brother said numbly. "I guess." They didn't have anyplace else to go. "Oh but... Minnie and Atom are in the security office. Last I knew the security dudes were running them around with a laser pointer or something." They hadn't brought luggage, but Lyle had silently insisted that the kittens not get left behind. It had been really strange, though in light of what had happened, Fisher understood it better. Lyle had known they weren't coming back.
---
“We’ll pick them up along the way. They can stay with us too.” Nox got to his feet and waited for the brothers to do the same. He led the way out of his office and back to security, where the workers were indeed playing with the cats. Nox gave them a nod of thanks for petsitting before collecting the animals and heading out again.
The walk across campus was quiet. Nox thought about calling Belle on the way to explain that they were coming, but he didn’t want to explain everything with Lyle listening in. She’d be a good hostess and wait until the boys were settled into the guest room before asking questions.
Nox was exceptionally quiet as he opened the door and showed the guys into the apartment. He walked them straight back to the guest room. “The bed’s plenty big enough to share. Fisher.. there’s food in the kitchen, help yourself to whatever you need, and I’ll get some bags for Lyle in just a minute.” Nox purposely avoided saying ‘blood’ so he didn’t trigger any thoughts about the red liquid in Lyle’s brain. “I’ll get a litter box for the cats as well. Charlie’s niece has a cat, I’m sure they have supplies to spare. The bathroom is just outside.” He examined Fisher’s face and posture to make sure he was processing all of this. “And I’m just across the hall. You two should try to get some sleep, but if you need anything, come get me.”
---
Both young men were silent during the walk, though for different reasons. While Fisher kept a hand on Lyle's arm at all times, it was cautious and unsure. He didn't know how to feel right now. His baby brother, someone whose diaper he had changed, someone he had played with in the mud, someone he had grown up with, had almost killed someone. It was hard to realize that he was a vampire, though eventually Fisher had come to terms with it. He knew that blood was a part of things, he had seen him drink it in cups and once right from a blood bag, but from a living person... Well it happened, of course it did. But someone could have died. A pregnant someone, someone that Fisher had thought Lyle really cared for. How could he have done that?
Nodding at Nox's words, the medium remained quiet, not verbalizing his uncertainty about sleeping in the same bed as his brother. Logically he knew that since Lyle was fed, he wouldn't want to feed again. Logically he knew that it had been an accident, of course it had, and Lyle was stressed out and needed someone to understand and be there. But because he was just a man, and not a god, Fisher was shaken by the whole idea. He kept imagining his brother as a cold blooded mutilator, and the thought of lying beside him made him shudder.
"Thank you," he said softly to the demon, gripping tighter to Minne as she struggled in his arms. Atom lay solemn and quiet in the crook of Lyle's elbow, as though he knew that his owner needed some peace. Ushering Lyle inside, Fisher set Minnie down, bringing his brother to the bed and helping him sit. Lyle followed direction, allowing Atom to climb out of his arms as he curled up into a ball, staring straight at the wall. Fisher watched him a moment, hesitating, before he backed out into the hall, shutting the door. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't be in the same room with him.
---
Nox had left the room to allow the brothers to get settled and take care of the things he’d mentioned. He didn’t expect to be followed by Fisher. “Do you need something more?” he asked, motioning for Fisher to follow him as he went to the kitchen to grab a beer. He needed one.
Nox fired off a quick text message to Charlie, asking for the favor about cat litter and some bags of blood as well. Charlie sent a quick reply saying he’d bring both over. “Charlie’s on his way. Maybe it will do Lyle some good to see him. They were friends once upon a time.” But things became strained between them after Lyle fed on Peyton and nearly killed her.
---
Following Nox quietly, Fisher shoved his hands deep into his pockets, his eyes on the floor. He felt ashamed. If Nox knew what he was thinking, surely he'd be disappointed, disgusted even. Nox went above and beyond for other people, it was obvious in his every actions. Fisher was a coward and couldn't even be there for his own brother.
"Okay," he said quietly. The name sounded familiar, maybe he would know Charlie when he saw him. "So should we... I don't know what to do now," he mumbled. "With him. I mean... where do we go? Do I bring him back, or... I dunno. I dunno what to do."
---
Fisher and Charlie were friends as well, something they’d managed to maintain even when things soured slightly between Charlie and Lyle. It would be good for Fisher to see him as well, maybe he’d start to recall things now that he was back on campus and constantly exposed to everything that should be familiar.
“Lyle doesn’t want to leave. He’s afraid to. He’ll stay here indefinitely... until he feels like he’s in control of himself. Until he can trust himself again.”
There was a knock at the door. Nox answered it and ushered Charlie inside. The vampire was carrying supplies. “Please put the blood in the fridge. I’ll take care of the litter shortly. Let me tell Belle what’s going on first. Excuse me.” Nox headed off to his bedroom to talk to Belle.
Charlie gave a nod of understanding and did as Nox asked, smiling at Fisher when he saw him. “Heard you came back. It’s good to see you. You hear for a visit?” Gossip had reached Charlie quickly, since he was still close to the entire security staff. But he didn’t know the reason for Lyle and Fisher’s return to campus.
---
Lyle wanted to stay here? Fisher paused, brow furrowed. Maybe that's what the letter to Nox was about, telling him what he wanted. But why couldn't he say that to Fisher? Or, write, as the case may be? Fisher would have understood. But then again... well he was out here, in the kitchen, avoiding Lyle because he couldn't be understanding enough. Maybe Lyle knew that. "Oh," he said softly, nodding. If this was what Lyle needed then Fisher could do that for him. It seemed the least he could do.
Leaning against the counter, Fisher watched as Nox went to answer the door. The man who entered seemed familiar, definitely someone he'd seen before. Probably someone he'd talked to before going to rehab, or when he'd been brought back from Boston after the accident. He studied the face as the guy, Charlie, came in and greeted Nox. He looked really familiar. Maybe he was someone who'd come to the infirmary? No, that was Starbuck. Charlie was... was... Charlie was the guy on the dvd Fisher had found in his stuff.
A bright, flaming blush spring up onto his cheeks at the sudden realization that he had seen this guy naked before. "Ahm," he spluttered, turning to face away from Charlie. "I um, y-yeah I guess. Or whatever." Going over to the fridge, Fisher looked through its contents, trying to find something. There were a few bottles of beer that were very tempting.
---
Charlie had no choice but to join Fisher at the fridge, because he was carrying several bags of blood that needed to be stowed away. “‘Scuse me,” he said lightly, moving around Fisher to deposit the bags. With that taken care of, Charlie then set the large container of cat litter on the floor near the garbage can and took a seat at the kitchen table.
“So how long you staying? Nox’s wedding is in a few weeks. I know he’d love if you were there.” Maybe that’s why Fisher and Lyle had come back, though they were a bit early. “I sent Lyle a note awhile back, asking about you and how rehab was going... well, that was part of it anyway. Needed some advice from my mom too. He told me to fuck off. Rightfully so.” Charlie could use a bit of advice now as well, but he didn’t dare ask.
---
Hesitating for a second, since Charlie was coming closer, Fisher grabbed a bottle of beer and stepped out of the way, leaning against the counter by the stove. He held onto the neck of the bottle tightly, not opening it, just holding it. Right now it was more of a prop than anything. He nodded along to what Charlie was saying, though not much of it made sense to him. Nox was getting married, that was cool. It seemed they'd be staying for that without meaning to.
"Oh," he said, in regards to Charlie asking about him, and Lyle being right in telling him to fuck off. He didn't really know Charlie, so he wasn't sure if he should be glad about this or not. "Um, well... I'm fine. I guess." He shrugged, peekign up at Charlie's face just long enough to look like he was involved in the conversation before averting his gaze back down. God, this was like finding out the guy who'd been making your coffee every morning for the past year was a porn star.
---
Charlie chuckled at Fisher. “Could you stop looking at me like that? I’m not a piece of meat,” he teased. Given that Fisher didn’t remember his relationship with Charlie, it was likely he didn’t understand the DVD. It had been a present of sorts, almost a joke, though Charlie really had been jerking off in the video. “You left before we had a chance to catch up.. before you had a chance to remember me.”
Nox returned then. “Belle is happy you’re here. But I asked her to lay low for now.” Fisher had enough excitement to deal with. Enough people too. He probably wanted to be alone for a while.
Looking to Charlie, then to the floor where the container of litter was, Nox issued a soft, “Thanks. I hope Adam is willing to answer my calls and texts at all hours the way you do.”
Charlie shrugged, “Guess you’ll have to wait and see. I should head back. I’ll see ya tomorrow. Take care, Fish. Tell Lyle to come find me later. I’ll be around a few more weeks.” With that, Charlie left.
Nox took note of the beer in Fisher’s hand. “You’re welcome to drink it. No sense in holding the bottle.”
---
Nothing could have made this more awkward than Charlie saying that. Fisher blushed more, head dropping lower, wishing harder than anything that his hair was still long so he could hide behind it. "Yeah... lot of people didn't..." He didn't finish the sentence, but he didn't really get a chance to either, as Nox was coming back out. And thank God for it. Fisher didn't think he could handle more stress right now. Giving a small wave to Charlie, he managed to spit out an awkward "Kay." It was unlikely Lyle would be seeking anyone out, but Charlie didn't need to know that right now.
Looking at the bottle in his hand, Fisher shrugged, placing it on the counter. "I don't really... just needed something to do. With my hands. He um... seen him naked, so it was... anyway..." Clearing his throat, Fisher shook his head, dismissing that thought. "Rehab. You know, staying sober and stuff. Anyway. Is it okay if I um... just sit out here awhile?" He just needed to be away from Lyle right now.
---
Nox made a face, clearly confused. He had no idea what Fisher was talking about. Who had he seen naked? And why was he bringing that up now? No matter. Nox shook his head. “I’m glad you’re sticking with it. There’s more than just alcohol in the fridge. Help yourself to anything. I could make some tea if you’d like.”
At Fisher’s question, Nox examined him closely. “You can do whatever you want. You’re a guest. Make yourself at home. The TV is simple enough. I’m not big on complicated technology. So.. eat, watch something, find a book,” Nox motioned around to the massive collection lining the walls. Something occurred to him then. “Forgive me, I didn’t even think to offer you something to sleep in. What can I get you?”
---
This was just too much. Nox was being so kind to them, offering up his home, disturbing his own life in the middle of the night. It was just so... Fisher couldn't even think of the right word for it. It was something Lyle would do. And Lyle was in bed, dead in almost every sense of the word, and Fisher could barely look him in the face. "I'm... fine," he said to Nox, looking up to meet his gaze. "But thank you. For all of this. It's... I don't know if I could have handled this on my own." Hugging himself, Fisher looked back down at his feet. "I'm not strong like he is." Pushing off the counter, he walked into the living room, sitting himself on the couch and drawing his knees up to his chest. He could never be as good as Lyle.
---
“You’re welcome,” Nox said in a kind, genuine voice, a small smile on his face. He hadn’t always gotten thank yous out of Fisher. This was a nice change. Maybe there were perks to Fisher’s missing memories.
“You’re stronger than you realize,” Nox offered as he followed Fisher and sat down beside him. “Look what you did tonight. You brought him here, and it was the right thing to do. Probably wasn’t easy, but you did it. I’m proud of you.”
---
Augh, no. Nox had done it. He'd used the P word. "Don't," Fisher whispered, resting his chin on his knees. "Don't be proud of me. The truth is I'm a fucking coward, I'm a mess. I should've found out what happened, gone back in the house but I was scared to, and now..." he drew in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "I can't go in there. I can't... I can't even look at him right now. Because all I can think about is what he must have done, and... what happened, and how... I mean I know that he drinks blood, but thinking about him doing it to someone, I just..." Shuddering, Fisher's shoulders slumped. "He could do it for me. But I can't do it for him. I'm such an asshole."
---
Nox took a deep breath and put his hand on Fisher’s back. “It’s not uncommon for vampires to hurt people they care about.. especially the first few years. Bloodlust is powerful. This isn’t your brother’s first incident, and I can’t promise that it will be his last. But he’s not hungry right now, and I’m confident that he’s no danger to you. Do you think I would have invited him into my home if I was worried? The woman I love is just down the hall. I’m not afraid, and you shouldn’t be either.” Nox motioned to the door. “I don’t know how much you remember about Charlie, but he’s a vampire too. You know lots of them, even if your memories of them are fuzzy. It’s natural for you to be nervous, but you should trust my judgment on the matter.” Fisher must have trusted him enough to bring Lyle here. And despite what Fisher thought of himself, that took courage. Sometimes the hardest thing to do was to put your faith in someone else and let them help you. “You could have run away. Maybe you don’t think you handled the problem correctly, but you did something, and the end result is just fine. She’s going to be fine, and Lyle will be in time as well.”
---
Fisher shook his head adamantly, feeling both unnerved and somehow comforted by the hand on his back. "He's not just some vampire," he whispered. "He's my brother. He's the little kid that I used to play with in the mud, and I made him eat gum off a parking meter once... he's not just some person who's a memeber of some race. He's... my brother." And no matter how normal it was for other vampires to do this, and to slip up, it wasn't okay for Lyle. Because Lyle wasn't supposed to be like this.
Leaning toward Nox just slightly, Fisher sniffled, burying his face against his knees. "I can't even look at him right now. I just... can't." he was the shittiest brother alive, and he knew it. But he couldn't help it.
---
“None of them are ‘just some vampire.’ Just like you’re not just ‘some medium.’ We all make mistakes, Fisher. Bad ones at times.” Nox was wondering if he’d made a huge mistake in deceiving Saul the other weekend. Now that was a vampire you didn’t want to piss off.
Sighing and leaning back into the cushions, Nox tried to think of what he could do to make Fisher feel better. The guy was dead set on self-loathing, something Nox could understand. He’d been in that state of mind before. He’d felt terrible after Danielle’s death. He felt responsible. And now he felt responsible for Lyle and Fisher. “Then take some time for yourself. It’s a lot to process in one night. You can stay here on the couch. I’ll get some pillows and blankets for you. Maybe if you get some rest you’ll be better able to face what’s happened.”
---
It didn't seem right, taking time for himself. It felt like he was suffering when he had not right to, because Lyle was the one in trouble, not him. But Nox was right. This was too much to process, and if he wanted to help Lyle, he needed to be able to face this. He needed to be able to do this. Right now he wanted James, to crawl into his arms and feel safe. But he couldn't face James, either.
"Please stay." His voice was small, the request timid and soft, as he uncurled himself enough to lay back against Nox, head on the demon's chest. Nox was a safe harbor, that much he could tell. Both he and Lyle felt at ease here. And he didn't want to fall asleep out here by himself, letting his mind think too much and freak himself out. He felt bad about keeping the man away from his fiance, but Fisher needed someone right now.
---
“Sure,” Nox said softly, opening his arms when Fisher rested back against him, then embracing the younger man. Fisher was scared, and he had every right to be. Nox was worried too. He wanted to visit Elle and check on her condition himself, but Fisher needed him right now. Everything else could wait until morning. It wasn’t the most comfortable way to sleep, but Nox could deal with it. He let Fisher rest against him. “I’ll stay as long as you want.”
---
He was almost thirty, and he should have felt stupid like this, curled up on a stranger's couch, lying in his arms and feeling like a lost little kid. Most people had their shit figured out by now. But most people weren't Fisher. They didn't have a vampire brother and a married part-demon boyrfiend and a dead eighteen year old following them around. Normal people didn't have ridiculous issues like this, so maybe it was a little fair to allow himself to behave ridiculously.
"Thanks." Closing his eyes, Fisher sighed, breathing in the demon's scent deeply. He might fall asleep, eventually. More importantly though, right now he could handle this. Which was good, because he didn't have any other choice.