James didn't want to say it, but it was now or never perhaps. "I have doubts," he repeated. He swallowed hard before he added, "I've had doubts ever since what happened with Ana, ever since..." He exhaled a breath and moved a hand up to scrub at his eyes and then asked in an exasperated tone, "How can what happened to him hurt me so much if you mean as much to me as I... as I think you do?" He closed his eyes and then added, "It's not like I think about him when I'm with you or wish that it was him I was waking up beside of every morning instead of you I just..." He added in a much softer tone, "Can't seem to just let him go."