Thursday - August 21st, 2008 Who: Alex and Garret When: Afternoon What: A session Where: Alex's office
Hate. Hate. Haaaaaate. If Garret only got a hundred words to explain how he felt about therapy, 'hate' would be the first ninety-nine. The last would be "motherfucker", but just so he could curse. Standing in front of Alex Cross's door, Dr. Alex Cross, Garret's jaw was hard set and his arms tensely crossed. He didn't want to go here. He debated telling Hope that he changed his mind, he'd rather be fired and risk having someone die without him there. Goddamn woman, guilting him like that. She was clever and awful.
With a low growl, he grabbed the doorknob and turned, pushing himself into Alex's office. He'd never actually seen the guy in person, but he had studied his file enough to know what to expect. The fucker was handsome. "Dr. Cross?" he said, trying to be polite, but it was really fucking hard with his brain screaming at him. "Hope sent me." He didn't introduce himself. Alex knew who he was. He'd wager on it. ~~~ Alex had gotten the request from Hope right after he had gotten back from the reading of his grandfather's Will on Monday night. As if he didn't have enough on his plate right now, he had to deal with this. But he would do it. It was his job. And regardless of anything else, he was first and foremost a doctor. And he cared, even when he didn't really want to care.
Alex was not used to people simply showing themselves into his office. Normally, if the door was closed, they would knock. So when the door opened suddenly, he looked up in surprise, having an expression one could possibly equate to a puppy who had just been yelled at and had no idea why. He quickly regained his composure. "Sure. Of course." Alex gestured toward the chairs on the other side of his desk as he stood up. "You can have a seat if you'd like." At that point, he crossed to the other side, as was typical for him, finding the obstruction of a desk between himself and his patient to put up unnecessary barriers, not that there wouldn't be enough of those in this case already. ~~~ This guy was classic. Offering a seat, like Garret would choose to stand the whole time, like it wasn't assumed that he was going to sit. Coming across the desk to sit beside him, as though he were coming over to make Garret comfortable, make him feel welcomed and wanted. He knew nothing could be further from the truth.
But he did sit, because he had an hour of quiet to look forward to. But he pushed his chair back a bit, away from Alex, a clear and childish signal that he had no interest in being his friend. "I'm guessing she told you why I'm here," he said, getting right to the point. "And that I'm not interested in being here." ~~~ His feelings toward Alex were duly noted and furthermore ignored. He sat down as though nothing had happened and crossed one leg over the other. With a nod of his head, he answered the question, both of them. "She told me a bit about what happened, and she did mention that you weren't exactly pleased with the idea." That had obviously been an understatement. But in an effort to get some sort of conversation going, he asked, "Is there a particular reason for that or just a general aversion to psychologists?" ~~~ Steepling his fingers, watching his hands because there wasn't anything better to look at, Garret vaguely listened to Alex. But that last bit made him look up, giving Alex a look. "Don't do that," he said flatly. "Don't talk like a therapist. You know why I don't want to be here. Granted, I don't like therapists as it is, not many people do. But let's not pussyfoot. I don't want to be here because of you. And it was either you or Lloyd and I was forbidden to see him, so..." He waved a hand in a short, swooping motion. "Here I am." ~~~ Alex fell silent for a moment, debating what he should say next, what it would be wise to say versus what would be honest. Sometimes he had a difficult time telling the two apart simply because he was so accustomed to maintaining a professional decorum. But there was at least one thing that he knew to be true. "Well to be frank, I don't particularly want you here either. So at least we have that in common." ~~~ Thank God. Alex wasn't going to keep up the charade, try and follow through with the niceities. At least that much was palateable about the guy. "Glad we agree. So. We're gonna sit here in silence, then?" Garret was perfectly fine with this concept. He would do this to make Hope happy because otherwise she'd harass him nonstop. And he had told her he'd just sit there. Why disappoint? ~~~ Since this was not turning out to be a normal session, Alex saw himself to his feet and back around to his side of the desk. "If that's what you'd prefer." He would have shrugged with the remark were he the type to do that, but he really wasn't. Instead, he simply took a seat and folded his hands upon the desk, watching Garret for a short moment before looking down at his desk. "Mind if I get caught up on some paperwork while you're here?" It was only polite to ask. ~~~ "What's I'd prefer is to leave," he mumbled to himself. But he couldn't. So instead he sat, at first looking down at his hands, then up at Alex as he was spoken to. "No, please, go ahead," he insisted, not wanting to deter Mr. Wonderful from doing his work. "No sense in both of us wasting our time in here." Though part of him wanted to make Alex suffer along with him, if the guy wasn't doing his paperwork then he'd try and make Garret talk. And he would rather be nice to Alex then have to talk to him. ~~~ Once he was given the go ahead, Alex went right ahead and started to work on a few things, or at least it looked like that was what he was doing. Really, he was just seeing how long Mr. Foss would sit in silence before he decided to speak to him and attempting to look busy in the interim. But his mind wasn't on the paperwork, it was on what had transpired this past Monday in Cape Cod. He'd still not made a decision as to what path he was going to take. And he'd not talked to Lloyd about it yet either, a fact that he felt bad about, but it was really for the best. Though of course these thoughts distracted him from the task at hand, and it wasn't long before he'd be found staring at the same people, a thoughtful frown pursing his lips. ~~~ Garret didn't sit well. He got too impatient, too fidgety. If this had been Lloyd's office, he'd be swatting the pen from the demon's hand, rifling through papers he wasn't supposed to see, flipping through books on the bookshelf. So it only took about two minutes before Garret was on his feet, pacing around the room. Alex's office was nowhere near as interesting as Lloyd's. He wondered if Lloyd still kept the lube in his desk drawer. Glancing at Alex's desk, he noticed that the guy was just sitting there, staring at a page that didn't have enough writing on it to justify that much attention. He frowned, about to make a smartassed comment, but forced himself not to. He didn't care enough about Alex to make any kind of commentary.
But quiet was so dull. Did he really have to stay the entire hour? "If I leave, will you tell Hope?" ~~~ The sudden question from the man jarred Alex a bit, and again he tensed just ever so slightly before he found words. "Dr. O'Shea expects a full report." That was not a yes or no answer, because truthfully he probably wouldn't tell, but it was perhaps answer enough to keep him from leaving. Though why he cared to keep him from leaving, he wasn't sure. "Besides, knowing Hope, she's probably waiting out in the hallway somewhere timing this session." He smiled fondly as he added, "The woman is incredibly stubborn." ~~~ Garret's shoulders slumped. He knew Hope was busy this week, but he wouldn't put it past her to be standing just outside the door just to prove a point. She was worried about him, and as irritating as that was, it was sweet. But irritating more. "Ugh, tell me about it," Garret groaned, plopping down into one of the chairs once again. "During sex it's fine, but in everyday life her unyielding willpower is just... tiring." ~~~ "You've slept with Hope?" Alex didn't mean to sound as shocked as he did, but honestly, he was surprised. Garret didn't really strike him as Hope's type, for one, and for two... Picturing Hope having sex was a difficult concept to begin with. She had always been so... awkward and shy back at University. But that was another thing they had in common. "She and I nearly made out once, back in University when I was still.. figuring things out." The memory made him smile a bit. "But we were both really drunk and just as I leaned in to kiss her, she threw up all over my shirt." He paused for a moment. "She was very awkward back then. And shy. She didn't really get how incredibly striking she is." As a near afterthought he added, "I guess a bit's changed since then." ~~~ A small, slow smirk crawled over Garret's perfectly shaped lips. Hope had insisted he come here and talk to Alex. How would she feel knowing that she was the subject of scrutiny? It served her right, forcing him here.
The look of shock on Alex was almost cute, and Garret chuckled. Clearly, Hope had been a bit of a caterpillar that had blossed into a sultry, sexy butterfly. "To be honest, I don't think she gets how striking she is still," Garret admitted. "But at least she's more accepting of it with someone's tongue running down her throat." ~~~ If this was the type of conversation it took to get him talking, then so be it. That was the point of this, after all, and things like this didn't often come quickly or in the most logical of ways. Hopefully Hope would appreciate that were she to ever hear that this conversation took place.
To hear Garret speaking so openly and, well, bluntly about his boss, was a bit of a shock for him, so the expression didn't do much in the way of fading as the conversation progressed. He laughed, amused and yet slightly uncomfortable in the sense that it seemed like a very unbecoming conversation to be having, as he gave a soft shake of his head. "I'll take your word for it." Of course he had to admit, "I always felt like it was a bit of a shame that that attempt failed. She was adorable back then in spite of her... atrocious haircut and non-existant fashion sense." He grinned as he glanced up at Garret, "I'm most definitely pleased with her progress in those areas." ~~~ Garret was not in the least suprised that Hope was a bit of a "late bloomer". Even as she had crawled toward him on the bed, her eyes alight with the fire of lust, there had been a small sense of uncertainty, as though she still didn't really believe she was there, with him, doing what she was. It was one of her more charming qualities, the unsureness. It made Garret feel special, like he was so amazing Hope was overwhelmed by it. Rorie made him feel like that too.
"She was probably still beautiful despite it," Garret smiled. "She is a rare breed, you have to give her that. Smart, and funny, and unapologetic in her actions. I really like that in a woman, someone who knows what she wants, takes it, and then tells you to go fuck yourself unless you want her to do it for you." He couldn't help but chuckle a little, shifting in his seat. "Feel free to quote that," he said, tapping the desk with his index finger. "For your official 'report' back to her." ~~~ Garret seemed to have a good handle on who Hope O'Shea was as a person. Still, it seemed... almost crazy that she would have slept with him but then again he wasn't a terribly unattractive person. And he may not have been unattractive at all had Alex not known so much about his past.
"I will be sure and do that." He laughed softly. "She'll appreciate the compliment even though I'm sure she'll pretend as though she doesn't." ~~~ This was no good. He and Alex were actually getting along. Hell, they were laughing and talking like old friends. Well, Lloyd had sort of hoped they might get on well (though he was sure Lloyd liked the idea that they were fighting over him more). He wondered if Alex would mention that Garret had come here, or if he really would uphold the doctor/patient confidentiality to its fullest extent. Well if he didn't, Garret would know for sure. Lloyd would get in touch.
Speaking of confidentiality... "What are you gonig to tell Hope, exactly? Just a basic pass-fail, or are you going to give her the nitty gritty of this supposed 'session'?" ~~~ It really wasn't good from the standpoint that Alex did not care to like Garret in the least, but it was good from the standpoint that he was a psychiatrist and Garret was here for a session. He would only ever get anywhere with him if he could gain his trust and he could hardly gain his trust if they disliked one another. But still it was.. unsettling.
A small smile formed upon his lips at the question. "It will just be basics... Like whether or not you stayed the whole session, whether or not we talked, whether or not I feel that it was beneficial for you. That sort of thing. Though I'm sure she'll want to know more." ~~~ Nodding, Garret accepted the very "shrinky" answer. No, of course he wouldn't divulge anything said during the session. He would never do such a thing. He was Mr. Perfect, the greatest man alive, according to the sappy way Lloyd swooned over the guy.
"She told me I could sit in silence the entire time. And I don't plan on coming back, and if she wants to fire me over it and "risk student lives", as she implied to me, then she can." He checked his watch- nine minutes?? Fuck he was never going to make it through this. "She's probably hoping that I'll give in and we'll have a heart to heart and I'll cry or something and feel better about it all. Well I'm not going to, and it wouldn't help even if I did, and if she actually expected me to do this, she'd have sent me to someone I might actually ever feel comfortable opening up to. I mean, back me up on this, that's what a shrink is for, right? Someone you feel you can confide in?" ~~~ Alex was far from being the greatest man alive and he hardly thought that Lloyd felt that way. But maybe he did. Maybe Alex was the one that was delusional about just how much his partner adored him. But that was neither here nor there because Lloyd honestly had nothing at all to do with this.
"Hmm. Point taken." But then he also had to ask, "What makes you feel that you could never be comfortable opening up to me? I'm not.. going to tell anyone anything you say in this room or.. store the information away to use it against you in the future." He pursed his lips for a moment. "Hope believes that you and I have a lot of common ground, I think. And I feel that perhaps it's that that she thinks could be helpful." ~~~ To Garret, the question was stupid, and obvious, and a trap to get him to talk. And while he didn't want to fall into any kind of therapist trap, he also couldn't believe Alex even had to ask. Especially since it seemed like such a sincere question. Still, the gaze fixed on Alex right now was one that was clearly asking if he was completely brain damaged or not. "Lloyd said we'd probably get along too," he admitted, and it seemed the demon might have been partially right. "But the fact of the matter is that you're fucking my ex fiance. You are exactly what he wants, everything that I could never be for him, and apparently are the greatest man to ever walk the Earth. I'm never going to like you, and let's be honest here... are you ever going to like me?" He didn't wait for an answer, instead rose from his seat. "I can't trust someone I don't like, and I don't like you, so this won't ever get anywhere. And I believe that's where the session ends, so..." ~~~ Alex was unphased by the look that he gave him. To him, it was a valid question. And it would at least get him some sort of response which, in turn, could be an opening. "Exactly what he wants, perhaps, but I'm still not you." Alex could admit that. He knew that there were times where Lloyd missed Garret immensely. He was sure that there were times where he thought about how nice it would be to be able to put the two of them together and have what he really wanted. And that wasn't to say that Lloyd was settling, simply that what he really and truly wanted perhaps did not exist and Alex was, possibly, the next best thing. But he wasn't here to discuss that dynamic.
"It's not been an hour yet," Alex remarked, ignoring any sort of response that Garret may have to that before he remarked on what the man had said. "Trust and like are not equivocable. One can exist without the other. You can like someone without trusting them just as you can trust someone without liking them." He paused briefly before he added, "I'm sure you've had at least some experience with that, haven't you?" ~~~ Not leaving yet, but definitely not sitting, Garret looked Alex over. Maybe Alex wasn't him. But maybe Lloyd didn't really want Garret. Lloyd was habitual, he liked things tidy and neat and staying perfect forever. And since Garret had been the one to leave, it was no wonder that Lloyd still had some attachment. That's just how he was.
"There are plenty of people I like that I don't trust," he replied flatly. "But I don't know anyone I trust that I don't like. If they were trustworthy, there'd be something about them worth liking. And I'm never going to want to talk to you about deep, personal shit. It's not gonna happen. So. Are you really going to pretend to keep me here for the next... forty nine minutes... or can I just go?" ~~~ Lloyd still loved the idea of Garret. It was the reality which fell short. And Alex was working through his own feelings when it came to that. But he wasn't allowing it to deter him, to hinder their relationship, even though a part of him thought perhaps he should.
Alex didn't answer the question, he just frowned a little, getting that thoughtful look upon his face before he asked, "Are you certain about that?" He looked back down at his papers. "Odd. Perhaps it's just me then. I trust plenty of people I don't like. I don't like my mother, but I trust her. I know she'd never hurt me intentionally regardless of how much of a... bitch she really is. And I don't really like you but..." He glanced up at the other man. "I'd trust you to look out for Lloyd should there be a point in time when I couldn't." He cleared his throat before he said, "Though I guess that's a completely different kind of trust." ~~~ "I neither like nor trust my mother, and my father's dead and I still don't trust him." He frowned deeply, remembering the pleasant little visit he'd gotten. "And you wouldn't have to trust whether or not I'd take care of Lloyd, I'd do it anyway. So the only reason you say that you trust me is because you don't have a choice in the matter." Now he was sounding bitter, and he knew it, which meant this session was spiraling downward.
"This is stupid," he concluded. "I'm a grown man and capable of walking out of here if I want. I don't need this job that badly and frankly, I don't give a flying fuck about disappointing Hope right now. So. It was... fine meeting you. Enjoy your day." He gave Alex a slight nod, turned and headed for the door. ~~~ Apparently he had stepped on some toes, but this was the first seemingly genuine response he had gotten from Garret the entire time he'd been here so.. It was a start, perhaps. Or it may have just been the ending since he was ready to storm out moments later.
"If you change your mind, you know where to find me." Alex wasn't going to force him to stay. It was his decision. And he wasn't going to tattle on him for not being here either, which he would find out later on he was sure. But he could at least end it on a slightly positive note and ensure that he knew that his door was open should he have need in the future.