Still clutching the doorknob, Dante waited a beat before turning it to let Erin in. His hand was shaking slightly as the door slowly opened. He didn't like this. He didn't like how he felt alone at night, how much he missed Roger, how sitting in the dark scared him so the desk lamp stayed on all night. He didn't like how easily it was for him to just tell Erin these things, and how scared and relieved he felt when he did.
But he did like that as soon as the door was opened and she'd stepped inside, her mouth went directly to his in a firm kiss. That he could get used to. Slipping an arm around her small waist, Dante literally lifted her to bring her inside and shut the door behind them. His phone fell to the floor amongst the kissing and hugging and chaos of the moment.
---
Erin was still clutching her phone in one hand, arms around Dante's neck. When she broke away with a tug on his lip, she was unaware of her smile. "Hello," she purred, slinking off him to slide her phone into the pockets of her loose fitting pajama pants.
She put space between them, then, after her initial enthusiastic greeting, walking toward a wall she could follow. Like he had been, her eyes were everywhere. She was curious to see what remained of Roger, what was now purely Dante, what was both, etc.
"This is an unorthodox date," she mused, not looking at him. Her eyes fleetingly passed over his bed.
---
The room seemed like it always had, minor exception being that the spare bed was now made up with an ecclectic gathering of blankets that didn't match whatsever. That was Dante's area. It was the bed, and on the compter desk which sat near the head of it was his wallet, keys, and his clothing folded and stacked on top of it. Clearly Roger's handiwork. But as far as the room went, that was all of Dante that was discernable. And right now, his bed was totally untouched, the sheets crisp as though it were a hotel. Roger's bed, however, looked like someone had just crawled out of it.
"This's hardly a date," he said softly, going over to his bed and settling on the edge of it, as though that had been where he was before Erin had showed up.
---
Her exploration over, Erin approached him slowly, fingering the hem of her night shirt. It was designed to be slept in; snug on top, looser for throughout.
"Well....true." She sat beside him then, thinking about what he had said. He was lonely. Her chest was tight, conflicted. Part of her was grateful, even happy he was...admitting all these things. The other part of her was terrified. She stared ahead at nothing, her hand braced on the mattress an inch from him. She wasn't touching him; she wasn't sure he'd want that. After a pause that seemed eons long to her, she spoke again. "I shared a room with one sister at a time until I was thirteen. Not because we didn't have room...it was rather a forced lesson on the importance of familial bonds."
She snickered, implying her parents' plan had not worked. "Afterward when I had my own space I was ecstatic, for a while. Then I realized it felt strange."
---
Erin's analogy was pretty much perfect. Dante scratched the back of his head thoughtfully. "That week awhile back, when everyone went nuts and I disappeared... I spent all of it just in the dark. Every fucking second. After that, I knew I didn't... I couldn't stay like that. Get pushed aside." He shrugged a little. "But now I'm out, and it's... not quite what I thought."
---
"Well..." She was quiet, careful, now watching him with a wary expression. "I only shared a room with them, and occasionally felt alone." How awful must Dante have felt -- he had shared a body.
---
"I don't wanna talk about this," he said suddenly, a more abrupt change of subject then usual. Normally he would at least sway the conversation in a direction he'd rather it go, but right now there was nothing else he wanted to talk about. He just hadn't wanted to be by himself anymore.
Moving to lay down on his bed, a gentle arm reached up to take Erin down with him, lying on his side facing her. One arm was tucked beneath his head, the other resting on her waist. "So... you been thinkin about me naked a lot?"
---
Erin almost resisted -- she had wanted to be there for at least half an hour before she went horizontal -- but the look on his face made her give in easier than she expected.
Before she realized anything, they were cuddling. She was a little stiff under his relaxed arm, despite the way she shifted under it, as if it were a blanket. Their bodies inched closer with a subtle move of her ribcage.
"Eh... One or two times." Her smile was sly. Dozen. One or two dozen times. her nose crinkled in the wicked grin.
---
Erin's coy little confession made him smile, just a touch. "Liar," he teased. "You probably got carpal tunnel thinkin' bout my meaty man bits so much."
---
Erin's face screwed up and she twisted onto her back. "You're disgusting," she chided, while snickering. Her eyes traveled up to his ceiling. Beneath his arm her stomach rose and fell slowly with her breathing. She had no makeup on, and her breathy was slightly minty. She had been ready for bed.
---
She looked good ready for bed. She just looked good all the time. She especially looked good when he didn't anger her every two seconds. Before, any off color comment (such was one about man bits) would have given him an icy glare and the silent treatment. Now, Erin actually laughed at them, almost as if she appreciated them.
"I'm disgusting, but you come to my bedroom in the middle of the night to lie beside me in a cramped single?" He shook his head at her. "Obviously if I'm disgusting, you're disgustinger."
---
Almost as if she had read his mind, she confirmed his thoughts by rolling completely around and offered his back to her, physically requesting him to curl around her. Her icy hands pulled his arm around her middle, tugging him closer, just in case he interpreted the movement as a cold shoulder. "Possibly." After a beat of silence, she spoke again, staring over at the computer. They had went from an IM conversation, to a phone one, to seeing each other in under an hour. It was surreal. "Now what?"
---
'Now what' was kind of the eternal question. Dante didn't know 'now what'. He'd never had a girlfriend before- whoa, holy shit when had that word slipped in? He put the kaibosh on that right away. No to that word, not ever. He wasn't gonna turn into some testosterone empty sap like Nox was. Noooo thank you.
Still. Holding a girl like this was nice. It almost reminded him of Wesley, how after they'd had sex he hadn't allowed himself to stay, to be held, to enjoy the closeness because the closeness wasn't his to have. But this was. It was jarring to realize that, yes, this was his if he wanted it. "Dunno," was what he said aloud to Erin, his hand curled into itself, fist pressed against her chest. She fit easily on the bed, a lot better then he and Roger had fit anyway. "You can go whenever you want to." It was a test, not that Dante was aware of what he was doing to Erin. But subconciously, he wondered if she'd stay, or if she'd leave. And if she stayed, would she be gone by morning like he had done to her?
---
Dante was lucky he didn't drop the 'g-bomb' in front of Erin. The ice demon would have paled further and probably made up an excuse. Girlfriend? Oh no. Girlfriend meant you needed to put yourself second, cater to another's whims, be supportive no matter how stupid the other's idea.. oh no. She was not wanting to be a girlfriend. Whenever you want to? What did that mean? Was he passive aggressively telling her he wanted her to stay the night?
What would it mean if she did? Did he really want her to, in earnest? She couldn't tell. She tried to think on it logically, because being logical was more soothing than being irrational. He was lonely. So he wanted her here. It was a compliment, she supposed, though she had to wonder if he had someone else he would rather want, and well, she was his second phonecall. Probably not, you idiot, as you were speaking to him for almost forty minute prior to his request.
"Whenever?" she mused, almost as if she were threatening him with an extended visit. She nestled back into him, pressing her shoulders against his chest, then wriggled her ankles until both of her shoe slippers were off. Her socked feet were still cold against his. "Mmm, alright." Her eyes closed, and for a while she listened to the sound of her own breathing as her heart beat behind her ear. Then it occurred to her that she couldn't hear his breathing accompany his. She understood it was because he wasn't breathing, but.. still.
After a minute or two of idly stroking the arm that enveloped her in complete silence, she heaved a sigh. "God, this is boring," she said, with a snarl in her tone. She counted to two, one eye closed. Then, before he could panic too much, she twisted all the way around in his grasp so that she was facing him, every inch of her just a few inches from him. She was smirking. The single dimple and the way her gray eyes lit up said 'hee hee.'
---
Erin was right, laying there in silence was seriously boring. Holding her was nice, and her body felt good, but just laying, listening to her breathe... wicked fucking lame. Thankfully she eventually turned to face him, and he held up his arms just long enough for her to roll over. He thought maybe she was going to leave, which would have been fine, he supposed. If she wanted to go. Not like he cared, no definitely not.
"So starin' at my mug is less boring?" he teased her. "Or you got other plans to occupy yerself?" He was being suggestive, obviously biting his tongue from what he'd actually wanted to say, which was "Or are you looking to see how to best sit on my face and make this night worthwhile?". But he was pretending he was behaving himself, because he didn't want her to leave.
---
She wanted to kiss the smug expression right off his face, but she suspected he wanted that, so instead she put the breaks on and slithered onto him with her legs, her hips, and her hands on his chest. "We can do something," she said quietly, before delivering a soft, delicate kiss to his Adam's apple. "Just chat, if that's what you wanted.." Another kiss, cool and soft, slightly higher. "Watch a film, perhaps?" Then yet another, this time under his jaw, close to his chin. She shifted a little so she could extend her neck and move her lips higher, to the very corner of his mouth. "Or just anything on the telly..."
She couldn't help it. He was close, he was warm, and he wanted her there. Sexy. That was it. She wouldn't admit to it, but he was, and she liked it. She liked him. More than I want to.
---
Erin wasn't the only one fighting against the reluctant acceptance of the circumstance. Dante didn't like her in his space, didn't like how she rubbed against him, how her lips felt on his skin, the way she could get a small groan of distracted appreciation from him any time she touched his neck. He didn't like it at all, mainly because he liked it very much. It was completely annoying how much he enjoyed the simplicities of her very presence.
Turning his head, Dante forcefully captured Erin's mouth with his, sealing her lips in a kiss. Enough of this playing around shit. Though, oddly, he found almost immediately that he missed just laying there, not doing anything. He'd never been in bed with someone without motive before. A hand moved to touch her face, tilt her head so he could lean into her, tongue pushing arrogantly past her lips.
---
They experienced a similar epiphany simultaneously -- unlike the first time they'd shared a bed. The sudden end to her playfulness seemed startling. Not that she disapproved of the kiss, but rather that she found she had enjoyed being simply.. affectionate with him. Which was frightening. Sex was sex, but butterfly kisses was... well, dangerous. Wanting to give them, getting them, thinking about them was just not on her agenda. So she swallowed the panic that had bubbled up in her stomach at the realization she would rather nuzzle him a bit longer than french him now and flattened herself into the mattress, pulling him with her.
If she was here just to snuggle, that made her more important -- made this more important -- than she was able to understand. Friends, dating, sex was completely different than dating, sex, and "I want to feel you exist beside me." Dante was not long term anything. She know he didn't want to be, and therefore knew he wasn't. Neither was she, or so she had been convinced.
Still, though, she was not a bootycall. So she broke the kiss after a few minutes and settled down, making herself comfortable in his bed. It didn't matter that she had started this mess. She was a woman. It was a woman's prerogative to change her mind! Ugh. You are acting like a schoolgirl. You are nauseating YOURSELF. She stared longingly at the television. If it were on, it would have given her a distraction from her own idiocy.
--- Subtlety wasn't Dante's style, never had been. He demanded the kiss from Erin, groaned appreciatively as she pulled him on top of her, and then stared at her when she pulled away and got settled, waiting a few moments before loudly delcaring "Lame!" He looked angry, though she would know enough by now to see he wasn't. Just a bit annoyed, like a teenaged boyfriend would be.
"You don't get to come to my room and start... doing that stuff you were doing... and then just stop." Of course she did. She had the right to stop at any given time, that was just common decency. Dante knew not to push on shit like this, and usually if a woman wasn't interested he gave up within minutes. But he was interested in Erin, and he wanted to do the hot sexy makeout things with her, and... she'd just stopped! "Lame!" he scolded again.
---
His teasing -- for that was what she took his commentary as -- just made her feel more stupid. Her chest burned, her jaw clamped...and then she laughed. She didn't understand how that had happened (generally, whenever she felt stupid, someone gained a bruise), but it did. She was laughing softly. At herself.
When this hit her, she closed her eyes and brought her hands up to shield them, as if hiding from the man in bed with her. He was...well, he was right. It was lame. She was acting lame. She was losing her cool, and it frightened her.
Maybe it was the setting that was making her a moron. She thought maybe she should go. Yes, leave. But whenever the thought occurred he huffed a certain way, and she laughed again, and again, realizing she wanted to stay, too. Unable or unwilling to decide, she settled for remaining motionless except for the occasional shaking of her slender shoulders, softly snickering with her hand over her eyes. Parts of her side were still brushed up against him. She realized she must have looked silly, but didn't move anyway, instead waiting for him to nudge her in a direction.
---
So, of course, instead of telling him what she wanted, or making a move, Erin did the girl thing and just confused Dante more. She was hiding her face and laughing. Or maybe she was crying? Shit, if she was crying, he was gonna freak the fuck out. What the hell did he do now? After a moment, though, it became clear to him that she was indeed giggling, and it was kind of at his expense. At least he assumed it was.
"The fuck is so funny?" he asked, perplexed. Women. He would never understand them.
---
"I'm laughing at myself," she replied, unphased by his tone.
---
"Well quit it," he scolded, putting a knee on either side of her so he could be on top of her without crushing her lungs. "It's wicked hard to figure out what the fuck is going on when you're giggling like a teenager." Honestly! The girl had been acting so weird lately. Of course, he didn't chalk it up to the fact that he was only being weird around him, just that she was weird. He assumed it was PMS or something.
---
Oh wonderful, now he was on top of her? She flattened herself, cheek dimpled, smirking, and stared up at him. "Giddy" was like-new for Erin. So was being playful like this.
"What precisely are you trying to figure out?"
---
"I'm trying to figure out... what..." Well truthfully, he was trying to figure out if she was going to stay the night, if he wanted her to. Frustrated with that vein of thought, he opted for another. "I'm going to sleep," he declared, rolling off her and settling back on his side. "You stay." Dante closed his eyes, draping an arm over Erin. "Or go," he added, lest she think he actually wanted her to stay. "Whatever."
---
Dante's "whatever" was mostly ignored. His mouth said he didn't care, yet his arm was wrapped around her pretty snugly. She closed her eyes as well, secure in the knowledge that now she was only staying because he wanted her to, not because she wa ---
Wait. That was no better. Now she was doing things OTHER people wanted? It was all so bloody confusing and aggravating. Before she could make up her mind, she had drifted off herself, in his arms, breathing softly.
Come morning, she would be gone, but not without a goodbye. She slid out from under him slowly, and whether her stirred or not, she kissed his forehead and whispered 'g'bai' before darting out the door. ---