James (jamesownsit) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2010-01-14 11:24:00 |
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Entry tags: | cissy, james |
Sunday - March 16th, 2008
Who: James and Cissy
When: Sunday Afternoon
Where: Cissy's House
What: An argument
"For fuck's sake, Cissy, it was a fucking joke." The blond wasn't at all amused, however, and James had such a terrible headache that he wasn't at all amused with her lack of amusement as he had been the night before.
"Well it's not funny. It's entirely uncalled for and..." She sighed, a frown pursing her lips. "I don't understand why you'd even do that to me. I mean why would someone who is supposed to be my friend intentionally do something to upset me?"
"Like you have any right to be upset!" James snapped, glad that Devon was in the other room so that he didn't have to hear the two of them fighting.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cissy scowled at him, her arms crossed over her chest.
"It means, Cecilia, that you have no right to be at all upset about what he does when you're standing over there looking like you've been out playing a fucking vampire live action roleplay."
With a gasp, a hand moved up to cover her neck. "That... this... It didn't mean anything!"
"Oh, right, okay. It means nothing to have sex with someone else when you're oh so in love with someone. I forgot that about you." And now he knew he was hitting below the belt, but he was too damn hungover to bother with a filter right now.
Looking like she was about to start crying, she yelled at him instead. "Well maybe I wouldn't be fucking someone else if he'd held up his end of the bargain!" And that was the breaking point.
"Ah, fuck." James ran a hand back through his hair. This was one thing he didn't miss about women. The crying. He never really knew how to handle crying.
"Cissy..." He started softly, approaching her like she may or may not lash out which knowing her, she probably would. "It's going to be okay."
"No, it isn't!" She yelled back at him, completely exhausted all of a sudden as she flopped down on the nearby sofa. "Nothing is okay. Nothing is ever going to be okay again."
"You're being over dramatic." Maybe that wasn't the smartest thing for him to say, but it was the first thing that came to mind as he took a seat next to her on the couch.
"He said that he loved me! He said that if this baby had been his, that he would..." She couldn't even get the words out now, she was so upset. "And it was bullshit. He didn't mean any of it. He just said it to hurt me and now that the baby is his..." She squeaked a little, trying to hold back a sob. "This is all I have." She gestured at the marks on her neck. "This is what I get now. And it doesn't mean shit."
James wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't really thought that the whole Simon and him on a date joke would upset her that much. Obviously he'd been wrong. He reached a hand over to rub up and down her back. "If it doesn't mean anything, then why do it?" His voice was softer now, trying to help rather than simply put fuel on the fire.
"Is it so wrong to want to feel wanted?" She asked, looking over at him with tears in her eyes, a hand moving up to wipe at them quickly. "Even if it's just... even if it doesn't mean anything it's better than..."
"You deserve better." His words were soft and yet firm, deliberate. And he believed it. For all her flaws, James knew she had a good heart underneath it. She just hadn't found the right person to tough things out with her yet, but one day she would.
Cissy shook her head. "Doesn't matter. No one's going to want..." She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "I've got too much baggage." The baby. She loved her baby. But who wanted a woman pregnant with someone else's child? Who wanted that sort of instant responsibility in a relationship? No one. And she couldn't blame them.
If there was one person that could understand that, it was James. He loved his son, but that didn't mean that his son didn't ruin everything. Fisher had pulled away twice as hard when Devon had come into the picture. Will absolutely detested children. It didn't make things easy, not at all. "I know." He had nothing else that he could say, nothing to make her feel better. It was too bad he wasn't straight. The two of them could have been perfect together.
Cissy was silent for a long moment, sniffling now and again as she tried to get control of her emotions. "Did he... hook up with anyone last night?" A part of her was afraid to ask, but she had to know.
The answer to that question was most definitely "yes", but there was no way in Hell that James could bring himself to tell her that. So he shook his head. "No. We just.. hung out, drank... Didn't really talk much but..." He shrugged. "You know how I am."
The both of them were silent for a moment before James softly said, "Maybe he just needs time, Cis."
Cissy scoffed and shot him a glance. "And in the meantime I just... what? Keep drowning?" That's what it felt like she was doing, sinking a little further down each and every day.
"You're not gonna drown. You have me." And that was something, right?
She rolled her eyes. "Lot of good that does me. You're just as stupid as he is."
James arched a brow slightly. Not the reaction he'd been expecting. "O...kay." He wasn't sure that he wanted to ask.
"He loves you!" She said, practically yelling it as though she couldn't believe that he didn't just get it right off on his own. "What are you doing with Will? I mean honestly. Why...?" She had to stop herself. She had said she wasn't going to say anything so she wouldn't. It wasn't her place even if she really, really, really wanted to.
"Will makes me happy." He tried to make it clear with his tone that he wasn't going to have this conversation with her. Of course, being Cissy, she wouldn't listen.
"Bullshit." There was no way she could even begin to accept that for an answer. "Someone who blatantly flirts with basically anything with legs does not make you happy." She knew James too well to even begin to buy that. "You're too much like me to be able to handle that sort of thing, James. Which is fine. I mean..." She shrugged her shoulders softly. "I don't think there's anything wrong with being demanding of someone's complete and total attention so... What are you doing?" Maybe he could enlighten her, help her to understand it, because she had been trying to for a while now and she didn't get it.
James ran his fingers back through his hair. He was tired of having this conversation. "Will just needs time, okay? He's just... What he does with other people doesn't mean anything. Eventually he'll figure it out."
"And what happens when he doesn't?" Had he bothered answering that question yet? He was so busy throwing away with both hands something that could be everything for something that could never amount to anything at all and even though she herself had done that a million and one times, she didn't understand it. She understood the compulsion behind it, the fear, but she could tell him firsthand that it wasn't worth it, not at all.
"Then I'll deal with that when I get there." James' jaw was set, a clear indication that he was finished with this conversation.
God, it was right there on the tip of her tongue, flipping all around in her stomach. She had to tell him. Fisher was never going to tell him so she had to since she was the only other person that knew, aside from Lloyd. And he wouldn't tell James either. But she had promised that she wouldn't!
With a groan, Cissy pushed herself up from the sofa. "You have to go." She turned then to yell, "Devon, come on. Your daddy's ready to go!"
There was something she wasn't telling him. He knew there was something on her mind that she wasn't letting him in on. He was tempted to ask but... Maybe he was just a little too scared to know for sure.
So instead, James pushed himself up to his feet and waited for Devon to come out. "Just give it time, Cis." He said, to which she rolled her eyes. "Thanks for keeping him." She said nothing. And so, without another word, he took his son and went.