Garret J. Foss (cant_touchthis) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2010-01-12 07:08:00 |
|
|||
Entry tags: | garret, lloyd |
Saturday March 15th 2008
Who: Garret and Lloyd
What: More talk
Where: Garret's Apartment
When: Saturday Evening
Rating: TBD
He'd been going to anyway, but the moment Garret said to get down there Lloyd had sprinted to his fiance's apartment as fast as his legs could carry him. He could tell Garret was upset and his whole body was screaming out for him to go and take care of him. What could he do but obey?
Yes they were underdoing trouble in their relationship but really they'd been fools to believe everything would be fine and dandy after two years apart and a hasty reconicilation. The way they'd left it hadn't been favourable. They had only briefly discussed it and apart from concluding that Lloyd missed him terribly and Garret couldn't live without him, nothing more had really been said. Cracks were beginning to show already, the same cracks that had broken them apart those years ago. Lloyd didn't want that to happen again. It couldn't happen again.
He banged on the door within 60 seconds, anxiously awaiting Garret's greeting.
Garret sat at his computer, staring at the screen, waiting for Lloyd to come down. He knew he was a hypocrite, that Lloyd had forgiven him for what happened in Wales and therefore he had to forgive the demon now. But he couldn't do it. Forgiveness implied he was okay and he was definitely not okay.
The knock at the door shook him from his reverie, and Garret rose from his seat as though in a dream. Opening the door, he stared at Lloyd a moment, drinking in the sight of the man. Just seeing him hurt. It had only now become clear how close Garret could have been to losing him. It didn't settle well in his mind. Lloyd would never really understand how lost Garret had been without him.
"Come in," he said softly, stepping aside to let Lloyd into his apartment. The demon didn't get far, though, before Garret grabbed his hand, pulling him close. Lloyd had promised he'd never leave again, but Garret needed to touch him just to make sure. He couldn't go if he was being held onto.
---
Lloyd had anticipated a grab or a kiss or an embrace, so when Garret didn't initially offer one it threw the demon for a loop. Stepping inside he hung his head but it wasn't long before he'd got what he came for; a big bear cuddle. Well, Lloyd turned it into one, and clung onto Garret like he hadn't seem him in a decade. He couldn't imagine losing this man again, never holding him. This chest, these arms, the steady heartbeat.... those blue eyes... shaking, Lloyd pulled away a litle and looked at him.
"I love you," he whispered, tracing a finger along his cheek. "Not just love, I am IN love with you... and I'm not going anywhere. Ever."
---
Lloyd had told Garret many, many times that he loved him, that he wasn't going anywhere. But he already had gone somewhere once, had walked out the door and hadn't come back. How many times had Lloyd told him, after every date when Garret asked him to stay the night despite Lloyd's need to actually be conscious the next day, that he would always be back? Garret would stand on the doorstep and plead in his charming, puppy fashion, and unlike everyone else the pathfinder ever dated, Lloyd didn't succumb unless he wanted to. He'd kiss Garret's mouth, chastely, and tell him that he would see him at work- after all, he wasn't going away forever. He'd always come back.
And then one day, two years passed, and Lloyd had been meaning not to come back again. And if he could do it once, why not again? Garret accepted the embrace Lloyd gave now, holding him tightly. He couldn't let him go. "Okay," he said softly. He pulled the demon into his place, shutting the door behind them. They needed to talk, they had so much to settle and think about. But Garret wished they didn't have to, that it could just be this moment forever. He pressed Lloyd against the door, kissing him deeply.
---
Kissing was much preferred right now and as Garret pressed himself up close Lloyd returned it with full fevour. Lloyd would probably not be able to leave the pathfinder again. The first time had hurt too much and he'd always regretted it. Never again did he want to pine and feel the heartache as much as he had done. Now he had a second chance and he wasn't going to throw it away.
Humming into Garret's mouth Lloyd rubbed himself against him, stroking a hand through his hair and willing him to continue in the same vein but he knew they had to talk. That was probably why he didn't press himself as much as usual, wasn't urging Garret to take him and take him hard like he would have normally. It was easier to ignore the problem than try and solve it but to hell with it if Garret thought Lloyd wasn't going to fight for them.
---
Lloyd's mouth was warm, like always, and soft, like always. His hands were firm and strong and his body so familiar and inviting. How familiar was this body to other people now? How many men, just men here, had seen that body and loved it, kissed every inch of it, remembered every freckle and scar? So in a most uncharacteristic fashion, and possibly the first time ever in their relationship, Garret pulled away first.
Resting his forehead against the other man's, Garret took a few deep breaths. "We should... we need to talk," he whispered. "This isn't working like this."
---
"I know." What else could Lloyd say? They'd been worse here than they had in Wales and though Lloyd knew exactly what he wanted - to be with Garret - and appreciated him more, there were still cracks in their relationship. Letting Garret go for now, Lloyd moved over into the living room, sitting on the sofa and waiting for his partner to join him. It was best to get it over and done with.
"I... well..." He didn't really know what to say. "You start."
---
Settling beside Lloyd, Garret had hoped that the shrink, the professional talker, might be the one to get the ball rolling. But Lloyd had never been good with figuring out his own personal issues. Sitting at a bit of an angle to face Lloyd, Garret had his fidgeting hands in his lap. Okay, so he had to start. Alright. Here it went.
"I can't kiss you without picturing everyone else who's kissed you," he said after a brief pause. "I can't touch you and not wonder who else's hands have been there, if they look at you the way I do, if you pass them in the halls and they think about you naked, if they remember the freckles on your back or the feel of your chest hair, or how you always gasp when I... when someone puts their hand on the curve of your hip..." He trailed off, tugging at a thread on his jeans. "I want to forgive you, and I do, I think. I mean I'm not mad at you, I'm just... I can't be okay with what happened. It hurts to think about. And I know I'm not perfect but..."
Swallowing, Garret looked up into Lloyd's eyes, at his face. "When I'm with someone else, I know that... that I still love you. I know that I'm not going to stop loving you and that I don't want to wake up next to whoever it is I'm flirting with, I only want you. And when I was with Cherry, it was meaningless because I was just having fun, it..." His eyes fell again, almost in shame. "But I can't guarantee that when you're with... that you won't... that it won't mean anything. Or everything. If you started caring about James before, then what if you're in a session with him and you realize that he means more to you again and you want..." He couldn't even fucking say it. Turning from Lloyd, Garret bit the inside of his lip, keeping himself under control. It was either cry or shout, and he didn't want to do either and he didn't know which would come out.
---
Lloyd closed his eyes then let a sigh out of his mouth. He couldn't handle this. Well he could but... what Garret was saying was far too hurting. That Garret couldn't trust that nobody else would fill his position, that Lloyd wouldn't want anbody else as much as he wanted him...
"You have to know that I'd have never gone with Fisher or James if it wasn't for the spell. When I am with you, I am yours. I've always been yours, from the moment I met you. There is nothing between me and James anymore. I do care for him, but not half as much as I care about you. Nowhere near. You - " Lloyd licks his lips. He was finding this very hard. "You have to understand that what you did hurt me. It's meaningless to you, but to me it's everything, and I think that's why you don't - get it... If James or Fisher went and fucked someone else I wouldn't give a toss, but you! YOU... if you had sex with anyone else I'd.... I mean I'm not the most confident of men, and to think that someone else could satisfy you more than I could has been a fear of mine for a long time. I mean what if you get tired of men? You still look at women, and I'm terrified that they're going to be able to take you away from me because they're better in bed or.... whatever, because I place a lot of meaning in sex with you. Not with anyone else. You."
He ran a hand through his hair, then placed it on Garret's cheek to get him to look at him. "You have to trust me when I tell you I don't want anyone else as much a I want you. I need you."
---
In the back of his head, Garret knew that Lloyd meant everything he said. Lloyd was always faithful, sometimes annoyingly so. They'd go out and upon being introduced, Lloydalways made it clear, whether verbally or not, tht garret belonged to him. It was very hard to flirt with someone when you had a "property of" sticker on your forehead. Which was a terrible thing to think, because he loved Lloyd. But he also loved the attention, he loved to flirt.
Turning his face to Lloyd, he met the demon's eyes, searching them. He didn't think he could ever just trust that Lloyd wanted him more then anyone else. The only way to be sure of that was if Lloyd wanted no one else at all, and that clearly wasn't happening. But Garret wanted other people too, not emotionally but still. It wasn't much better. Well to him it was, but obviously Lloyd disagreed. That said an awful lot about them as a couple.
"I'm never going to tire of men," he assured Lloyd with a small voice. "And I'm never going to tire of women. They'll always have something that you don't. It's not better, it's just... something." He touched the hand on his face, pressing it against his jaw, relishing the warmth of it. Things were becoming so painfully, heart breakingly clear.
"I don't want to marry you," he whispered.
---
Lloyd's face dropped as if his worst nightmare had just decided to become a reality. He let his hand fall out of Garret's hold, staring at the other man in shock. There was no way he could speak: an iron fist had reached into his chest and gripped his very core, twisting it around. The demon wasn't usually one for big, grand displays of emotion. It normally took him a good while of arguing or debating or struggling to keep it under control but he couldn't contain this.
"Oh..." he said, sounding completely defeated. What else did one do when the person you were utterly in love with and had so many plans for suddenly said they didn't want to marry you? As soon as he'd breathed out, with it came a wave of sadness and his face crumpled as tears began to fall. He had a pile of wedding shit upstairs, in his apartment. He'd even looked into buying suits, garters and things so Garret might appreciate unwrapping him on their wedding night. He'd told his family about it. He'd convinced them that this was a good thing, was sure himself that this was what he'd always wanted, and now Garret.. didn't.
With trembling hands he wiped at his eyes, trying to stop himself but he couldn't. "Just a minute.." he whimpered, as if he were embarassed but in truth he was trying to regain the control he was gradually losing.
---
Watching Lloyd fall apart was achingly hard. Garret knew how much the demon had looked forward to getting married, how excited he was about a wedding and honeymoon and all that, but Garret knew that he couldn't do it right now. It was the biggest mistake they could make, going on to spend their lives together when there were so many issues to work through.
"I'm sorry," he murmured, reaching out to take Lloyd's hand, touch his face, wipe his tears. "I'm so sorry. I know how happy you were about it but... Lloyd be honest, we can't do this right now. You want to marry in the summer and that's only months away, and we're totally falling apart right now. I mean... knowing what you do now, about me, and about how unstable we really are... do you really think you're ready?"
---
Garret was right. Though it was devastating to admit, the man was right. But to Lloyd it didn't matter. At least one of them was talking sense, even if it was hard for the other to actually hear. Sniffing away his tears he chuckled a little, shrugging.
"You know me, I'm hardly sensible when it comes to you. I'd marry you in a second if you asked me to, I..." With Garret, his heart ruled his head. With everyone else it was the other way around. Garret was a very dangerous influence, but one which Lloyd wouldn't change for the entire world. Looking up at him softly it was hard to focus through the tears but Lloyd still met his eyes. "Would you - consider it? In the future if we... maybe..."
---
What was that look in his eyes suppsed to mean? Garret knew that Lloyd was crushed, but the way he was watching him, such total devastation and timid hope in his teary blue eyes... And then it hit Garret. He was such an idiot.
"Oh, you stupid ass!" he said, half to himself and half to Lloyd. Now it was making sense. He'd wondered what Lloyd meant by 'in the future', because why would the demon feel the need to ask about that? The answer should have been obvious. Except Garret's shit choice in words had made it completely unobvious. Putting an arm around Lloyd, he pulled the demon in for an embrace. "I didn't mean I don't ever want to marry you," he clarified. "I meant not now, not this summer. God, Lloyd... I want to spend forever with you, no matter what happens. I just don't think a wedding is a good idea right now."
---
Relief. It consumed Lloyd the moment Garret explained what he'd meant and he leant into him with a deep sigh. He wrapped his arms around him, gripping him tight. He'd been so devastated, worried what it meant for their relationship....
"Pick your bloody words better next time," he scolded him, though it was only soft. Lloyd was just so happy that this wasn't the end, that Garret hadn't effectively split them up. This he was okay with. Postponing was fine. Burying his head into Garret's shoulder Lloyd breathed him in. His scent was the most addictive thing in the world. "Good job I didn't buy a dress."
---
Forethought wasn't one of Garret Foss' strong suits. Still, better phrasing would have been a good idea. "Yeah, I know," he admitted, cuddling up to his demon. His demon. The words were soothing.
With a soft, genuine laugh, Garret looked down on Lloyd. "You're wearing a dress?" he asked seriously. "You told me no! You told me no a hundred times, you deceitful little liar!" He pinched the man gently in the ribs. "What next, gonna tell me you've been in drag the past two months and never bothered to mention?"
---
Lloyd giggled. He had actually been considering getting some naughty lingerie to wear after the wedding, just so Garret could appreciate it a bit more. When the pathfinder pinched him Lloyd squirmed and wriggled around, practically in his lap now. "It was going to be a surprise!" he insisted, his small grin showing a more relaxed side to his mood. "Besides - you know I bought those heels and little skirt for you. Who knows what I'll get next?"
He stroked around Garret's neck then pressed a kiss to his nose. Maybe not marrying him right now would be okay. They'd have a while to work through their problems, and then they'd be better. They'd be ready. "Do I still give you your engagement present?"
---
Having Lloyd crawl in his lap was making him forget why they'd been having a discussion in the first place. After all, why talk when they could just have crazy, sweaty, hot sex for hours?
Placing his hands on the demon's legs, Garret brushed his nose affectionately with Lloyd's. "I have to admit, I like the path you're headed down," he purred.
Ooh, a present! Garret's face lit up. "Well... I mean, if it's something that will go bad, I wouldn't want it to spoil..." Garret viewed himself as the more masculine of the two of them, but even he was not immune to the joys of getting presents. "Or if it's not gonna spoil then... fuck it, just tell me, I wanna know."
---
Even the way Garret nuzzled him, stroked a hand across his leg was enough to rile up some lust and heat within Lloyd and he hummed, smirking at him. "I like it too..." Sometimes he felt a little odd, dressing up in women's clothes for Garret's pleasure but at the end of the day he secretly enjoyed it. He liked having Garret drool over him any time.
Trust him to get excited over it. With a bright grin Lloyd stroked a hand through Garret's hair, tracing it down his neck and over his shoulder. "Well.... I was gonna write it down and sort of... give it you in a box but..." He bit his bottom lip. They'd just had a fight about this, it was almost part of the problem but a present was a present. "Your gift is a threesome." A shy blush crept across his face.
---
Eagerly awaiting either a fight from Lloyd about how it would ruin the suprise or a reveal, Garret had a smile stuck on his face that only grew the shier Lloyd got. Ooh, obviously it was something delightful and naughty, or else the demon wouldn't have that look in his eyes. Now Garret was even more eager. Of course, nothing could have prepared him for what Lloyd said. At first it didn't register, and he almost blurted out 'a threesome of what?'. But then it clicked, and his eyes widened.
"A... what?" Was Lloyd serious? He seemed to be, and he wouldn't joke about something like that. He always got mad when Garret joked about stuff like that. So he was seriously... "You mean... you want...?" He knew he should have been leaping with joy, how many times had he prodded for this? But it didn't feel right. "Is this... this isn't a guilt thing, is it?"
---
Lloyd hadn't known what reaction to expect, but the eye widening was certainly something he'd anticipated. With a small smile etched on his face the demon shrugged, feeling slightly self-consious but he'd said it now. He'd given it some thought, what would Garret really want? And Lloyd had figured a threesome was the way to go, seeing as he'd not want to do it once they were married.
"No. But it does have coniditions!" he added, raising a finger. He didn't seem too phased about this, because he had actually convinced himself it was a good idea. "One - it's got to be a man. Two - we both agree on who it is.... and I'm not sure I want to do it in either of our apartments so I'd like to have it in a hotel..... if... that's okay..." Then he started to get masculine. "But if it's not then you shan't get it."
---
It seemed Lloyd had been doing a bit of thinking. Garret stared at the demon, totally thunderstruck. This couldn't be real. Lloyd had always adamantly, vehemently been opposed to Garret's threesome idea and now he was laying out rules like a professional. He was just taking charge, telling Garret what was going to happen and sticking by it, and if Garret didn't agree then it was no dice.
Instead of an answer, Garret grabbed Lloyd's face and kissed him, holding him close. "Oh my God," he murmured between kisses. "Oh my God, Lloyd, I... you... oh, God, Lloyd..." He could barely talk. So instead of talking he just kissed him again, passionately, tugging at the demon's clothes.
---
Too right it was no dice if Garret didn't agree. Lloyd liked men, didn't want to have any dodgy connection with a person they knew or saw a lot, and also he didn't want to go home or to Garret's place and remember what happened should he not enjoy the experience. He wasn't entering into this blindly - he'd thought about everything carefully. And this was the reaction he wanted to get.
He hadn't quite thought Garret would be so... vocal over it. Excited yes but not like his only dream had come true. Maybe that was it, though... maybe he reeeally wanted this sexual fantasy. Grinning and kissing him back, Lloyd allowed his clothes to be tugged, sliding his hands beneath Garret's shirt. "It's not gonna happen right now, Garret," he chuckled, kissing him deeply before he pulled his shirt over his head. "Though we can practice with the two of us..."
---
Eager was just one of the many things Garret was feeling right now. Eager, worried, grateful, and now increasingly horny. This was one of his biggest sexual fanatsies and he knew that Lloyd didn't like the thought, but he was willing to do it just for Garret. He didn't really care how many rules Lloyd made for him or who they ended up with (as long as it wasn't fucking James or Fisher), just the fact that Lloyd was willing to do this for him was incredible. It spoke volumes as to how much Lloyd loved him, what he was willing to do for him.
"I don't care," he murmured desperately, kissing Lloyd with fervor. "I don't care if it ever happens, I just love you so fucking much, I can't believe you'd... do this for me." He was glad to be shirtless because then Lloyd could touch more skin, and soon the demon's shirt went the way of the dodo as well. Fingers raking over Lloyd's back, Garret pressed his chest against his lover's, sighing. "I don't care if it never happens," he said again between kissing, "but I really, really want it to, so... mm, fuck, I want you now." Maybe they needed to talk about things, maybe nothing was perfect yet. But Garret's libido was taking control and it was demanding some one on one time with the love of his life.
---
Of course Lloyd would oblige one on one time; it was only natural that once Garret's libido kicked in that so did Lloyd's. It was like the domino effect - as soon as one was pushed, the rest fell within the demon and of course he could not resist this damn sexy hunky man...
Humming against his mouth Lloyd melted against Garret, stroking every inch of skin he could see. God he was perfect. The muscles on his arms, the contours of his stomach and pecs, the hardness of his skin and, well the hardness elsewhere which Lloyd delighted in rubbing his hand against next. If Garret wanted him he wasn't going to protest. Rather he'd very much like to entice him further, draw him to near crazed lust. A smirk crossed over his lips and he pressed his chest against Garret's. "It's going to happen..." Lloyd whispered, tongue darting into the other man's mouth. "You're going to get an extra guest to the party.... we're going to fuck each other raw, with someone watching, participating..." And right now Lloyd actually didn't mind the thought.
---
Garret raised his hips into Lloyd, pressing his erection into the demon's hot hand. He moaned deeply, eyes closed, focused on every inch of exposed skin that Lloyd was pressed against. He couldn't believe what the demon was doing right now, how uninhibited and sexy he was. Lloyd's normal dirty repertoire consisted of "fuck me hard" and "oh, yes, don't you fucking stop". This, though... his heart was pounding hard in his chest. Gasping at Lloyd's tongue invading his mouth, Garret melted a little in the demon's hands, every sensation alight.
The image Lloyd was painting for Garret was something he had thought about for years, something he'd always wanted to share with Lloyd. There was something incredibly erotic about having someone else with them, someone between them they could touch and suck and penetrate while they looked into each other's eyes, a secret shared between lovers. "Oh, shit," he whispered heatedly, mouth diving into the curve of Lloyd's shoulder. He didn't want to cover the demon's mouth because he wanted him to keep talking. Hands running over the man's chest, back and shoulders, Garret felt he couldn't touch enough of Lloyd's skin. "Oh, fuck, yes... I want to watch you fuck someone else, watch you with your cock in their mouth, your eyes finding mine, knowing you're thinking about me, that you're doing it for me..."
---
Maybe the night out with Fisher had been a good thing... his penchant for talking dirty had definitely come to fruition and he didn't feel as embarassed speaking infront of Garret any more, especially as he felt in control right now. With swift precision Lloyd's hand slipped beneath the belt of Garret's jeans, past his underwear to find his erection and he grasped it with a hot hand. Stroking and teasing it with his fingers, Lloyd pushed his own hardness against Garret's hip.
"You want to watch me pound them don't you?" he whispered, his breath warm across Garret's ear. "Make them yell and moan, control them whilst they have your cock in their mouth... bend them over and fuck them raw.... kiss you deeply as they writhe between us..." He wasn't sure as to whether Garret would want the third party to be the one fucking either of them, though - so for now the image of the extra man fucking Lloyd from behind would have to stay in his head.
---
He could not stay on the couch another second. Lloyd's hand around him, stroking, the words coming from his mouth, his heathed breath and hard chest and the pulsing cock straining in the demon's jeans pressed up against Garret... if he didn't take this man right in this moment he was going to lose his frickin mind.
Wrapping his arms around Lloyd, Garret got to his feet. He knew Lloyd wasn't really comfortable being picked up. He didn't give a shit. Waiting for the demon to climb off him, having to break contact for even a second was not going to happen. He moved quickly to the bedroom, gripping Lloyd tightly while kissing every inch of him he could reach, his lung burning and ready to burst from strain. "I am going to fuck you so fucking hard," he promised in a throaty growl.
Tossing Lloyd onto the bed, not even a second passed before he was on the man again, kissing his chest and tearing the clothes from his body.
---
Unless Garret was completely naked or in a uniform of some kind, then Lloyd did not care to be picked up, no. But right now he was so horny and loving of the man he didn't really care what Garret did so long as it ended with some form of sexual activity.
He wasn't expecting to be tossed onto the bed and let out a little shriek of happiness, a grin forming on his face only to be replaced the look of a man ready to be completely ravished. The moment Garret was on top of him Lloyd pressed his hands all over his body, stroking up and down his spine. "Holy fuck..." he sighed, one leg wrapping around Garret's form. To think he'd almost lost this.... Lloyd's whole body felt like it was on fire and he was writhing beneath his lover. "Quick...."
---
With a wicked smile, Garret pulled back from Lloyd just enough to fully undress the man, and then himself. Lloyd wanted it quick, was begging for it... so Garret was going to take his time. His hands moved slowly up the man's body, touching everywhere, stroking the skin, the demon burning beneath his touch.
"I love you," he whispered in Lloyd's ear. One last bit of tenderness before he took the demon beneath him, pushed himself fully into Lloyd's tightness, riding him hard and deep until neither of them could move.