Godric Witt (shy_vamp) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2009-11-14 15:22:00 |
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Entry tags: | blake, godric |
Friday February 15th
Who: Blake, Godric and Godric's Parents
What: Meeting mom and her husband
Where: Godric's Apartment
When: Seven pm
Rating: PG-13
As expected, Delilah Broderick (formerly Delilah Witt, before that Delilah Hemming) arrived at Godric's apartment promptly at seven. Like her son she was precise, on time, reliable. Unlike her son, she was a fan of suprises.
Not that Godric was nervous (because of course he was), but he was worrying about everything. His apartment was too small, too dirty, too... masculine. Too something for his mother, the kind of woman who could find fault in Heaven itself. Blake was being wonderful, reassuring Godric that he had nothing to worry about, helping him clean up, scolding him when the vampire got too frazzled. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. Blake had not been here for the last visit, and having Delilah come to him more than once a year was almost unhreard of (mainly because he forbade it). He didn't like her coming because she was critical in very subtle ways, never saying outright that everything he was doing with his life was wrong, but implying it strongly enough through little sighs and weary wishes. And she would be horrible to Blake, because she had been to Georgette. Actually, she'd been quite nice to Georgette, which was pretty tragic considering the woman had called Georgie a trallop. To her face.
When the rapt knock on the door came, Godric's heart leapt into his throat. "Shit," he cursed, squeezing Blake's hand. After a pause he went to the door, smoothing down his shirt. "Hello, mother," he said cordially, accepting a kiss to the cheek. At first his expression was resigned, realizing that the moment had come and he would do best to just let it happen. Delilah swept into the apartment, looking around. She was an elegant looking woman, classic elder beauty. Her sparkling blue eyes were one of the only traits she shared with her son. She had a smile on her face, clearly pleased to see her only child and the new place where he lived. "A bit dirty," she said pleasantly, slipping her leather gloves off her delicate fingers. "But charming. A real men's den, Ricky dearest." Twirling in a circle, she took in the entirety of the room. Suddenly, she spotted Blake, eyes lighting up. "Well! This must be the roommate I've heard absolutely nothing about, which causes me to wonder what sort of terrible things he does in his free time. Delilah Broderick," she said, extending a hand to Blake. "Wesley, right? You're not what I expected at all."
The matter of meeting someone's mother was highly nervewracking but if Blake had told Ric how he was feeling it would have only made the only vampire feel more uneasy about the whole thing. Blake hadn't been given a lot of warning in regards to the mother visiting, but when he'd been told he accepted it with a resigned sigh and support for his dear lover. Ric clearly needed it. Whereas Wes had made himself scarce for the weekend (something which made Blake incredibly jealous) Blake was staying put, helping Godric clean up his roommate's mess, plus the boyfriend's mess, as well as his own. Ric never had any. He was far too tidy, and if Delilah was anything like Godric said then Blake had a feeling he knew why...
The hour of doom came and all that was left was to quietly anticipate Delilah's arrival. When she came through those doors she wasn't what the demon had expected; in fact she was even more beautiful than he'd imagined. This took him by surprise and he tried not to drop his jaw. She was quite ethereal, stately and royal in her demeanor. She carried herself well, poise like a noble... Suddenly he was very glad that he had dressed in his best casual suit and groomed almost to perfection. He didn't want to seem like he was trying too hard.
When her eyes set on him the muscles in his gut twirled and he put on a pleasant smile, stepping forward to take her hand. So far so good... until she called him Wesley. "Um... no actually, he's out of town for the weekend. I'm Blake, I'm... a colleague of Ric's, up at the school. Fellow teacher...." He hoped to God that that would be acceptable, that he wasn't giving off 'I'm fucking your son' vibes.
---
Very much like her son, Delilah was perceptive, almost unnaturally so. Eyes penetrating poor Blake's brain, Delilah shook his hand firmly, more like a man of state than a poised noble housewife. The woman was an enigma of possibility. "Blake?" she asked, trying to recall. "Oh, yes! The baleds master. How lovely to meet you. You I've heard more about, though that in itself is still very sparse. Why isn't Wesley here?"
"He was smart enough to run," Godric muttered, closing the door.
Ignoring his snideness, Delilah smiled at her boy, hitting him gently in the arm with her gloves. "Oh, don't lock it, dear. Your father is coming in from the car."
If Godric's heart could have stopped, it would have. Every muscle in his face tensed, his expression hardened. "What."
"He's bringing in my things, just be a moment. He couldn't wait to see you." Delilah flitted about gracefully, wrinkling her nose at the video game consoles. "So strange you can't have children yet you're eternally prepared for them," she remarked. "So, Blake!" she beamed, turning attention from her now silent son and to the demon. He interested her, because she did not understand why he was here. "Tell me about yourself. Come, come, sit with me." Her tone indicated there was no choice, though she graciously seated herself gently on the cushion and patted for Blake to join her. "So, Blake..." The word rolled from her mouth. "Aside from mastering the sword, what do you do?"
---
Definitely Ric's eyes. She was like an X-ray machine, piercing through as if she were reading his very thoughts rather than just body language. Keeping his face serene and unphased he remained pleasant, placing his hands behind his back in his usual professional manner. She somehow gave the impression that she was master of all, Queen of the room and she who must be obeyed. Of course he was relieved when she turned her attention to her son but by noticing the tension in Ric Blake suddenly felt very protective. He wanted to rush over and ask what was wrong, a natural instinct. Instead he was being directed to sit with Mother.
He shot a look at Ric, almost one of panic before he covered it up and went to sit next to this terrifying woman. Perhaps only terrifying because of the significance of their meeting.... "I'm a Professor of Witchcraft. I'm half demon half witch, you see. Magic is apparently the service they wish me to teach, though." Tone was light, conversational, not too shady.
---
Godric wanted to scream. This was not the first time he had kept a perfectly cool face while his brain was shrieking inside his head, pitching a fit and wanting to destroy everything. He couldn't believe that that man was coming. Delilah knew how Godric felt about him, though obviously did not care. He didn't want the bastard in his house, didn't want to be polite to him, have to sit and smile and not tear his throat out. He also didn't want his mother cornering Blake as though he were her prey. Godric apologized to Blake with his eyes, wishing he could go over there and intervene, but he couldn't. She was his mother, his sire, and for all intents and purposes, she owned him.
Oblivious to anyone's discomfort (or at least seemingly so), Delilah grasped Blake's hand as he sat, squeezing. "Magic!" she cooed, impressed. "Well! How very wonderful. You must be..." She scrutinized him a second. "I'd have guessed mage, but... well no, I suppose I can see witch in there. In your eyes, mostly. A hidden magic about you." She winked at him, clearly having a glorious time. "My Ricky doesn't introduce me to anyone in his life, so you must forgive me for interrogating you this way. I just like knowing what he's doing with himself, if he's in good company." Turning to face her son, who was still waiting anxiously by the door, Delilah swept a hair from her forehead. "Will we be meeting Georgette again?"
"No," Godric said tersely. "She and I are... no longer seeing one another."
"Oh," Delilah sighed, clearly crestfallen. "I really adored her, you know." She patted Blake's hand. "So much less trashy then the modern women you see on the streets today."
The front door opened, in walking a man that was so obviously a vampire Anne Ryce would have rolled her eyes at it. He was tall, brooding, with a chiseled face and dark locks. Aside from being male, he looked nothing at all like Godric. Even when he smiled, which was upon seeing the younger (relatively) vampire, it was cold and chilling. "Hello, Ricky," the man grinned. Godric's stone expression did not change.
"Blake, this is Ricky's father, Josiah." Getting to her feet, Delilah dragged Blake over to shake hands with her husband, a very pleased look on her face. "Josiah, this is Blake. He's the one currently sleeping with our son."
---
Once Delilah had finished looking him over and moved on to his magic Blake felt slightly more at ease. He didn't mind talking about his powers because weirdly, they were not as personal. They were what he used, a little part of what he was, but not who or contributing to his personality. They were not his history, how his mind worked, what his relationship was with Godric. They were easier to talk about, a conversation piece.
"I'm flattered," he chuckled, not knowing what else to say. Godric's mother had just winked at him. How was anyone supposed to react to that? Luckily the subject changed a little. "He does keep good company. He's a very caring man. I don't know anyone who doesn't at least like your son, and he has many good friends." Of course one person came to mind that would rather see the back of the vampire, but Blake didn't want to be thinking about her right now. Georgette was a much more comfortable woman to be talking about, and still... "She is a lovely lady." He did adore Georgie but at the moment comparisons to her were not settling his mind. Best to keep the mother happy though.
Now, the thing with this man who was suddenly strolling through the doors was actually that his presence chilled him to the core. Blake was meeting the father. He was about to stay standing by the couch, after rising out of manners but clearly Delilah had other ideas. Obediantly following he was quick to say a polite hello and shake the man's hand, smiling at him brightly and hoping he was getting along alright... until the final blow came and smacked him around the head.
He's the one currently sleeping with our son. Nothing could have prepared him for that and he practically balked. His throat became dry and he wanted to fall over, into a black hole, never to be seen again...
---
Godric had been wishing for death long before his mother opened her mouth. In fact the moment she sat down with Blake he wished a meteor might hit the planet and destroy them all. He wished it harder when Josiah entered his apartment, called him 'Ricky'. Even harder when Delilah referred to the man as Godric's father. But when she simply outed Godric and Blake, no hint at knowledge, not even batting an eyelash... he didn't know what to do.
Josiah seemed to have words for the moment, taking Blake's limp hand and pumping it twice. "About time he's come out of the closet," he said, a cruel smile on his lips. "And a fine man to come out with."
Touching Blake's chin gently, Delilah closed his mouth for him. "You'll catch flies," she informed him with a smile. She seemed quite taken with Blake, even though he wasn't Georgette. Seating herself on the sofa again, she motioned for her husband to join her, which he did, leaving Blake alone and still in shock.
Godric recovered faster than the demon, though he was completely a wreck on the inside. His brain couldn't decide between being angry, confused, shocked or embarassed. Closing the front door proper, he stood beside Blake and slipped his hand in the demon's, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I'm not gay," he informed his mother and the bastard who'd married her. "But this is Blake Elliot. My..." He paused a moment. "Partner."
"Lover," Josiah said, teasing. It was obvious in his icy eyes he was enjoying every minute of torment. Godric's jaw clenched.
"Blake, it's wonderful meeting you." Delilah smiled brightly at him, obviously smitten. "I must say, you are much less feminine then most of the gays I've met. Your hands are delicate, though, I suppose that means you are the... softer one." Laughing airlily, she pressed a kiss to Josiah's cheek. Blake could no doubt feel the energy seething through Godric, a mixture of extreme hatred and mortification.
---
There was nothing that Blake could do. Nothing at all. He felt complete and utter guilt for being the one out of place here, for probably being the cause of a lot of Ric's discomfort right now. If Ric had still been with Georgette he wouldn't be being teased about closets and being gay and... not even the cheer with which Delilah seemed to regard him could change Blake's internal mood. He also felt shameful, embarrassment... though he had nothing to be like that for, he did care about what other people thought especially the parents of the only man he'd ever loved and the one person he'd ever loved most in the world. It seemed that whilst one of them adored him, the other only wanted to use Blake as an excuse to tease Ric.
Blake felt fully responsible for everything right now and though he tried, his smile didn't really meet his eyes. Sensing Godric's dismay only made Blake's stomach tighter, fighting back tears and a burst of emotional energy.
Quietly, Blake forced his mouth to move. "Can I get you anything?" he said, almost a whisper but he was trying to keep up being a model boyfriend, if only for Ric's sake. All he wanted to do was run out of the door right now but he managed to stop that impulse.
---
Godric had warned Blake that this evening would be hell, but he hadn't realized exactly how true his own warnings had been. Wes was very wise for running away for the night. Godric could only imagine how badly things would go if Wes and Roger had been here tonight. Good Lord, Ricky, are you still carrying on with that brothel business? The vampire knew Blake felt totally uncomfortable, and as these people were his parents, it was his job to deal with them.
"No, don't," Godric said immediately in response to Blake's offer to get anyone anything. Though he was speaking to Blake, his eyes were staring hard into Josiah's. "We have an entire backyard full of wildlife if anyone needs a drink." Josiah's smile changed, growing colder, superior. It was a battle between Alpha males, one Godric had lost over a hundred years ago and clearly it still angered him.
"Behave," Delilah said sharply to her men. Her tone was suddenly gone of mirth, of its prior bubbliness. She sounded fierce, in charge. A voice Godric had inherited from her. Godric and Josiah glared a moment longer before the younger vampire looked away, fingers curling tightly into Blake's. He hated that man. Godric was not a man to hate anyone (he couldn't even find it in himself to even hate Hope) but he hated this man. His mother seemed not to notice this. According to Delilah, Godric's father was dead, and as this was her new husband he was Godric's father. End of discussion. "Now," she continued, lighter than before, "this is Ricky's birthday and we're his guests. So no teasing him, you." She pushed her husband playfully. "Blake, now, come here and sit, come come." She patted the space on the other side of her. "I want to know more about you- how the two of you met, who fell in love first. From the way you looked at each other I can tell you're mad for one another. And you looked so nervous talking to me!" She touched his face gently, almost as a reassuring mother might. "You're so pale right now, even. Don't be ashamed, my dear. I'm a very progressive woman. I don't mind the gays one bit!"
---
It was like walking to his death, going over to sit next to Delilah. Even though she was being perfectly nice there was a feeling in this room now, one that did not agree with the three males at all but which Ric's mother had decided to conveniently ignore for her own sake. Josiah was an awful, awful man. With one leer he could make his step-son feel intense anger and also make Blake feel like some slug on the floor. Blake almost didn't want to entertain Delilah but that would be going against every grain of his being. She had requested his company and he was too polite not to indulge her at least for Godric's sake. This was for him. To make life easier for him... or at least that had been the plan.
Sitting with a knot in his gut, Blake made a concentrated effort to keep airy, non-committal and light in conversation. Even when she touched his face he put on a smile which, quite astonishingly, looked genuine. "We met here, of course. And I fell first. Your son is quite a charmer, like his mother... but, though it may sound contrived, like him I am not gay. I'm not attracted to other men - just him."
How he managed to survive the rest of the evening he never knew. Ric was constantly on edge, the presence of Josiah clearly making him want to scream; at least it was clear to Blake. He'd seen that look on his face before though not as intensely as this. Josiah tried not to be hostile, at least that was Blake's impression, and Delilah seemed pleasant throughout if not a little... odd now and again. It wasn't what she said it was how she said them, much the same as her husband. A few moments before they announced they were going to leave Blake was praying, urging in the back of his head for them to take his weariness as a sign and to just go, stop the torture... when he got his wish he almost burst with excitement.
---
Delilah was very taken with Blake. She asked him a good many questions about his relationship with her son, though the vamprie was quite certain that she had never asked this many questions of Georgette. And why would she? Georgette was a vampire and a female and it was all very obvious how Godric might come to like her. Blake, though... Blake was a demon and a male and a witch ("And a bit thin, isn't he?" Josiah had asked Godric with a patronizing wink). Plus he had a natural charisma about him that people were drawn to, even though clearly the man was not in full spirits. Godric didn't know whatever he had done to deserve this man but Blake deserved a medal.
Despite the bullshit his mother and her damned husband had put Blake through, regardless of the degrading questions and sarcastic comments and shifty looks, Blake performed beautifully. He answered Delilah honestly, making Godric flush several times (which Josiah found oh so amusing), kept the smile on his face, even acted as though he were convincingly having a good time. The end of the evening could not have come soon enough.
As Delilah and her husband made their way to the door, the woman embraced her son a moment, taking his face in her hands and looking into his eyes. "You take care of herself," she said softly, kissing his cheek. Godric nodded, seeing for just a moment the woman he had grown up with, almost enough to erase this evening. He missed that woman. Hugging her again, sharing a brief and reluctant handshake with the woman's husband, Godric let Delilah squeeze Blake tightly in her arms before ushering them out. Closing the door behind them, he stood a moment with his hand clutching the doorknob, forehead rested against the door jamb. Just stood a moment in silence, eyes closed, taking a moment for himself. Perhaps another year, another ten years, before this again.
Finally he stepped away into the room, looking over his living room. It didn't look right with Wesley's controller's actually where they belonged. "I'm going to start on dishes," Godric said to Blake, as though everything was fine, as though neither of them had been subjected to possibly the worst evening they'd had as a couple. He didn't meet the demon's eyes as he walked past him, embarassed and still angry and feeling childish. There were very few people who could make Godric that angry so easily, and of course it would be his parents. He didn't back down from injustice, yet he could do nothing tonight but sit and hold his tongue while Josiah and Delilah subtly (and in some cases, unknowingly) tore into Godric and his lover. What could he possibly do? She was his sire, as well as the woman who'd raised him. Who'd selected his wife for him. And Josiah was her sire, her husband, obviously the man she'd picked over her own son. She would defend him to the death.
Turning on the hot water, Godric placed the wine glasses into the sink, swirling water around the glass bulbs to rinse the blood out. Delilah and Josiah didn't drink bagged blood, so pouring it into glasses was the only way to get them to accept it without a lecture. Jaw clenched, Godric focused on the water pouring from the faucet, staring at it, mind running. It was a moment too late that he realized he was gripping the wine glass hard enough to shatter it. Looking at his hand, he saw he was bleeding, bits of glass sticking out of his skin. "Fuck," he said, which pretty much summed up the evening. Grabbing the other glass, the one he hadn't broken, he held it tight in his fingers before throwing it hard across the room, shattering it on an empty wall.
---
After saying goodbye to Mr and Mrs Broderick Blake let out a small sigh of relief. The ordeal was over. He allowed Godric his moment of silence, watching him rest against the doorframe and was about to speak to him when the vampire blustered past, ignoring both the issue of what had just happened and the courtesy of looking at him. If anything could make Blake feel ten times worse then it was this. Had Blake done something wrong? The paranoia which had crept in during Delilah's visit had now doubled instantly and the demon felt terrible because of it. Of course he knew he could be overreacting, reading into things which weren't there and worrying far too much under the assumption everything was his fault - but if he hadn't been Ric's lover...
He was so out of place in Ric's life. He'd invaded it like an army and now Ric was suffering. He'd been so eager to be a larger part of Godric's world and he hadn't thought about what he might be disrupting, how vastly it would change. His own life had already changed so much with moving to America and teaching again that, of course, beginning a relationship with a man didn't seem too big a haul for him. But for Godric... He already had friends here. A set pattern. A routine, a solid life. He was a father figure for Peyton, the go-to guy for Cissy, he was one of the most respected teachers in the school, he had been a quiet man who kept to himself. And Blake had turned up and blasted it all to pieces with only Ric suffering the consequences.
One thing was clear to Blake and it hurt him more than anything ever had before - he didn't belong here. Not like Godric did, and he didn't think he would ever fit into Ric's life without the vampire suffering in some way.
The sound of breaking class followed by a curse was enough to jar Blake from his depressing reverie. Making a beeline for the kitchen he was just in time to see the shards in Godric's bloodied hand when he had to jump out of the way of a flying glass which shattered a few feet from him. Steeling himself against the shock (a trick he'd learnt in the war, and if ever there was a battle zone it had been this one) Blake stepped forwards, ignoring both the broken glass and his internal confusion for a moment to deal with what was more important. He reached out for Ric's hand. "Let me see..." he said softly, not quite knowing what to do in this situation apart from tend to the injury.
---
Godric hadn't realized Blake was entering the kitchen, saw that he was throwing the glass essentially at the man's head just a second too late. But Blake came in without fear, strong as he always was, tending to the vampire's hand. He looked up at Blake, studied the man's face while bits of glass were taken from his palm. He couldn't have done this without Blake. He couldn't have dealt with Josiah this time, couldn't have kept his calm, couldn't have kept his cool without the demon being there to make conversation and smile and nod and take the subtle and vicious abuse tossed his way. It occurred to Godric, as he looked over Blake's face, just how suprisingly strong this man was.
Leaning forward, he rested his forehead against Blake's shoulder. "I didn't know he was coming," he explained. "If I had known, you wouldn't have been here. I'm just... I hate him, Blake. That man is not my father." He was unaware of how child-like he sounded, a jarring change from the ever-practical Godric Witt. Part of him almost wanted to cry, but he wouldn't. He felt embarassed enough as it was. "She wasn't always like this," he murmured softly. "Before him, she was..." Before Josiah, she had been his mother.
Clearing his throat, Godric stood upright. "I should sweep up that glass," he said numbly, more for his own benefit than Blake's. He had to snap out of it. But he didn't want to leave the comfort of Blake's scent, either.
---
Blake was focused on taking the glass out from Ric's palm. Vampires may heal quickly but it would be no use with shards still in his skin, so he picked out the pieces with precision, placing them on the side. Just before he'd finished Ric was leaning against him, seeking comfort and the lump in Blake's throat jarred slightly. Ric was in pain - it was so obvious to Blake and he didn't think he could do anything about it.
The moment he'd finished sorting him out, Blake wrapped his arms around Ric and cuddled him. It wasn't a hug, or a loving embrace, just a cuddle for comfort and to show he had Blake's support. "It's okay," he said quietly, gently rubbing his back. It was the first time Blake had ever seen the vampire truly broken, childlike, vulnerable... so openly uneasy and frazzled. Blake had to help him. Placing a small kiss on his head, Blake stroked through Ric's hair as he took a breath. "He's gone now."
But he'd be back. He'd always be there. The thing with immortal parents was that, if they weren't all too agreeable, you'd never be rid of them. Not even eventually, especially since Ric's mother was his sire. When Godric shifted Blake loosened his hold but clearly his lover was in no shape to be clearing up after himself. In a loving gesture he brushed the backs of his fingers against Ric's cheek. "I'll do it." Blake was watching him closely, not wanting him to feel so bad. "You go lie down."
---
Go lie down? Oh, God, how pathetic had he become? Shaking his head, Godric leaned away from the man's touch. "No. I'm a grown man, I shouldn't... this shouldn't be how it is." Parents were supposed to lose their hold on you at some point. But it had been like this for a hundred years, would continue to be like this for another hundred years, and another. Forever.
The vampire managed to take a step away from Blake before he decided that he really couldn't do it. And who was he being strong for? Blake was his lover, the one person he was supposed to be able to fall apart in front of, the one person he should have felt safe with. He reached his hand out, waiting to feel the warmth of Blake's slip into it. "Lie down with me?" he asked, deciding the glass could wait. He could do it later tonight while he wasn't sleeping like usual.
---
"No, it shouldn't," Blake agreed, "but it is how it is. God knows nobody can affect us like our parents can. Just because we have a longer life doesn't mean we feel any less their children." If Godric felt the need to break down then he should have done so. Bottling it up would not do him any good whatsoever.
Already planning to sneak back out when Ric was asleep and clean up the mess, Blake squeezed Ric's fingers with a soft smile. "Of course I will." Taking the lead he walked out into the living room, avoiding the shards of glass on the floor and taking Ric to the bedroom. The bedside table lamp was switched on low and Blake kicked off his shoes. He left them where they fell. Tonight wasn't the night for tidiness. He sat on the bed, still dressed, then waited for Ric to join him. He wasn't going to sleep just yet.
---
How many times had Blake told Godric not to bottle things? Countless, certainly. And of course he was right. Before he realized it he and Blake were in the bedroom, the short walk there totally missed by him. He was maneuvering on autopilot at the moment. Godric removed his own shoes, putting them on the floor of the closet, removed his jacket and hung it up. For Blake this was no time to mind the mess, but Godric needed something familiar to hold onto. He removed his keys and wallet from his pockets, then sat on the bed beside the demon. Once they had both laid down, settled, arms around one another, Godric finally spoke again.
"I'm so sorry," he murmured against the warmth of the skin on Blake's neck. "I'm sorry for everything that happened tonight. I should have told her about you, I should've known she would bring him, I should've... you shouldn't have been there." Blake had wanted to meet Godric's mother, and the vampire knew that Blake would've been very upset if he'd found out Delilah and come and Godric had not mentioned it. But Blake was also a lover of family, as his own was so very loveable. It kind of killed Godric to have broken that beautiful ideal for the man. "I couldn't have done this without you, you know. I love you. I love you so, so much..." Tilting his head up, he kissed Blake's chin, his cheek, his lips. "I love you."
---
And so the guilt kept coming. If Blake hadn't insisted on being here Ric would't have felt so responsible for the night's display. Truth be told, though, Blake had really wanted to meet Ric's mother and he was still glad he had. The only thing he wished he could take back was the torment in which his presence seemed to have brought the vampire.
Arms wrapped tightly around him, Blake kept down the knot of emotion which was threatening to burst in his stomach. He would not cry tonight. It wasn't his place and the last thing he wanted was to give Ric another reason to feel worried or bad about his mother's visit. Even as Ric sweetly placed those kisses and words all over him Blake smiled, accepting them and tilting his head to kiss his mouth properly. A soft smile covered his lips. "I love you. You know I'll be here... whenever you need me, I'll always be here..." The weight of those words held so many meanings he wasn't sure Ric would understand. Any eventuality, any situation, even if they ended up apart, Blake would always come running.
---
If Godric had any idea the thoughts going through Blake's head, the doubts he held, it would have hurt him very much. Blake had no reason to believe that he was the catalyst for the disastrous evening. Delilah would have been this way regardless of his presence, Josiah considerably worse. There was a reason the vampire dreaded visits from his family, and Blake had experienced the reason tonight.
"Thank you," he murmured, closing his eyes. He wasn't tired at all, but the feel of Blake was calming, soothing. He wanted to lose himself in the smell and the warmth and the pulse of his heart. "That's my family," he said, as though continuing a conversation they'd been having. "Now you've met them. Delilah seemed to like you, which is nice." He smiled a little. "I like your family much better. We'll go there for holidays and the like." Blake's parents were warm and kind and genuinely good people. As uncomfortable as Godric had been throughout the entirety of their visit, it was nothing compared to tonight.
Laughing a little, Godric turned his face up to look in Blake's eyes. "Just think. You want to have children someday, that woman will be their grandmother. You really want to subject a child to that?"
---
His thumb stroked idly along Ric's arm, breathing slow as he took comfort in the feel of the vampire lying on him. He half expected him to drift off to sleep but Ric started talking about family now. Perhaps it what he needed - a rest, a come-down before he could address and hold an actual conversation in the aftershock.
Whether he wanted it there or not, a smile crept over Blake's face. He even chuckled slightly. "You haven't met my sisters yet.." he warned him, the grin evident in his voice. His sisters were boisterous, overzealous... female versions of him really. Amandine was rather like their father, strong and observant, whereas Edith took on more of their mother's dainty yet enthusiastic traits. Blake seemed to be a mixture of both. He was so preoccupied with thoughts of his family that he almost missed the fact that Godric was talking about holidays. Not getting his hopes up, Blake let it slide a little.
Then Ric spoke of children and he was looking at him. Surprise crossed Blake's face. For a moment it looked like the was going to babble, go along the '...you're talking about children?' topic, but instead he let out a small laugh. "Well... at least it'll be a nice balance?" he suggested, hugging Ric closer to him. "I mean, you have strict Granny Lilah with her husband Josiah, and then sweet Nana Elliot. She's always wanted to be called that." He smiled fondly at the thought. "Then Poppa Greg. No... Grandad Greg. No..." He furrowed his brow. What to call his father? "Grandad. And the two sides can be like night and day."
---
This conversation was much better than thinking about the evening's events or apologizing to Blake for everything said to him. And while children and family holidays was not something Godric talked about often, they had reached this level in their relationship tonight. They'd met the families, so that came next. And hearing Blake prattle on about his parents, what they'd be called, hearing the smile in his voice... He rather preferred Blake being happy. There was only one thing. "Josiah isn't allowed anywhere near our children." His voice was sharp, firm. He had nothing else to add to that, and moved on as though nothing were wrong. But he didn't want Blake thinking even for a second that any child would be allowed anywhere near that man.
"Your mother is probably a very good grandmother," he said quietly. "I can picture her baking holiday cookies, writing out Christmas cards..." He smiled a little. "Nana Elliot. Very cute." Blake's family was so lovely, Godric actually looked forward to meeting his sisters. Not that he was going to tell this to Blake, as the girls would be on the next flight over. And he'd had enough family stress to last a decade.
---
Blake couldn't agree more that having Josiah near their children was a bad option. It was safer in the long run to keep wild animals at bay and whilst Blake hated thinking of vampires as anything less than people something in Josiah's manner had frightened him. Perhaps because he had frightened Godric too, and nothing frightened Godric..
"Oh she already does that," Blake chuckled, "every single Christmas. Baking christmas tree cookies, gingerbread-snowmen, chocolate Santa Claus.... our whole house looks like it belongs in Las Vegas because of the amount of fairy lights which she actually bewitches to move. They're great at parties, sort of like a more sophisticated glitter ball." Pausing a moment to revel in his nostalgia, Blake sighed with a smile still on his face. He almost wished they were there now, with a few runaround kiddies to take home to family. "You'll be a brilliant father you know." Just the image of Godric with a child... lovely. "It's a shame you can't procreate. Your babies would be handsome little devils."
---
Blake's mom was a lovely woman, and imagining her gussied up for the holidays, covered in flour and helping small hands sprinkle little candies onto cookies for Santa... it made Godric nostalgic as well. He remembered the last Christmas before his father had died, probably glossed over and not actually as happy and Godric remembered it, but it was still a wonderful memory. He'd been seven, his last year of innocence.
With a shy laugh, Godric nuzzled close to Blake. Perhaps he would make a fine parent. Though, really, he already had been once this week. "Perhaps," he agreed idly. After a beat, he added, "I suppose I should tell you that I've unofficially adopted Peyton."
---
Well Blake was certainly not expecting that. Looking to him in shock, Blake's eyes were almost twice their normal size. Godric had adopted the one girl which probably hated him more than Hope and Adora combined. Though, the other night Godric had certainly showed his parental side, comforting the girl when she needed him. The only thing was Blake knew he was far from her favourite person and now that she was his sort-of-daughter...
"Oh." So no longer were they going to have children of their own, then. Ric already had one. "You're good for her." No point in regressing the mood now. His mother always told him as a child 'if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'. But he DID have a nice thing to say about it. And that was it.
---
The energy demon's mood shifted obviously, Godric could almost feel the change in the air. He knew Blake wasn't going to be thrilled about the revelation, but what else could Godric do? Peyton was young and scared and had no one, and she trusted him. And Blake was right, Godric was good for her. She needed stability.
"I know you two don't get along," he said carefully. "But this doesn't change anything. It's not like she's all that demanding of me, the other night aside. And I'm not going to ask the two of you to spend any time together or anything. Okay?" Propping himself up on his elbow, Godric looked Blake clear in the face. "Okay?"
---
What Godric didn't realise was that it did change something. It wasn't just an elder helping out a child in need. Adopting, even unofficially, made him her father and made Peyton Ric's daughter... responsibility. He didn't want to upset him in this better mood but this was affecting him slightly. Plastering a smile on his face he looked at Ric trying to seem at ease with his decision.
"Okay." He couldn't say anything else. Once again he was beginning to worry he was a spare part, attached to Ric's life like some add-on function.
---
Blake used to be a very good liar to Godric, could keep a deadpan face and convince the vampire of almost anything. But now Godric knew his tells, and it was always in the eyes. And right now Blake's eyes were very unsure of the agreement he was making.
"Unless... you want to spend time with her?" He was taking a stab in the dark, because he couldn't quite see what Blake might be unhappy about. Cissy and Godric were very close, and Blake didn't interact much with that friendship, so this thing with Peyton would be similar to that. Therefore, Blake didn't have to worry that he'd be seeing her all the time. So the only conclusion that Godric could draw was that maybe Blake wanted to be involved with this somehow, though he couldn't imagine why.
---
With a heavy sigh Blake looked down at his lap. He couldn't lie to Godric, he couldn't do a thing to hide the fact that he wasn't comfortable about this. "No - I don't particularly want to spend time with a girl who hates me." Though they'd actually managed a short conversation on her journal about hangovers and tonics. It had actually been the most civilized they'd been.
"It really isn't a concern, Ric, just leave it," he asked, hoping that he'd take that and just settle down. Where had conversation gone about Christmas and children and holidays?
---
It was a concern, at least for Godric. Because it obviously didn't settle well with Blake, it concerned him a good deal. But he didn't want to drag on a conversation that was only going to make the man miserable. He'd made him miserable enough tonight already. "Okay," he said softly, settling back down. There was more he wanted to say on it, plenty more, but maybe now wasn't the time. Maybe this conversation was better waiting.
This whole night was just one long, stupid mess. And now Godric's cut hand was hurting, which was just a reminder of how ridiculous he felt. "I need to clean up that glass," he said, sitting up and sliding off the bed. "I'll be back in a minute."
---
Blake knew Godric wasn't settled in this end of the conversation but he wasn't sure how he could continue it without completely ruining the nice mood they'd had previously. With a sigh he let Godric slip from his grasp, watching him go with a sort of resigned sigh. In the quietness of the bedroom Blake could only listen to the thoughts running through his head as well as the light chinks of glass being swept into the bin.
Sinking onto the bed, leaning his head back against the pillow in the dim light Blake stared at the ceiling. The feeling of not belonging was ever present in his head and the lump in his throat intensified. He was so very close to tears but he didn't want to leave. Ric still needed him, and he would remain.
---
The kitchen was too quiet, the broom sweeping up the glass and the tinkering of it hitting the bottom of the trash can the only noises. His silent heartbeat was louder than this room. The mess was cleaned too quickly, because he wasn't ready to go back into his room yet. Standing with the broom in his hands, he looked around, not seeing the room but staring blankly at it. How could he have let Blake be introduced into his life like this? He didn't want Blake to see the dakrer parts of him, the scary and sad parts. That wasn't the kind of person Blake was. Blake didn't have shadows, or secrets, he didn't have anything horrifying about him. Blake was just good, a good man, a good teacher, a good lover. He was honest and open and wonderful, and didn't deserve to be tossed into Godric's sick and sordid life.
Replacing the broom and dustpan back in the cupboard, the vampire went back into his bedroom, standing in the doorway a moment to watch the man lying there. He'd always worried that Blake would see the darker side of him and run, would hate it. Well, Blake had seen one of the biggest secrets he had, and he was still here. Incredible. He climbed over top of the man's outstretched body, pressing their chests together. "I love you," he whispered, before pressing a deep kiss to Blake's mouth.
---
The moment Ric came in, placed a kiss upon his lips and said those sweet delicious words, Blake closed his eyes. He didn't want to cry infront of Godric but it was very hard to keep his emotions in check. It wasn't the first time he'd battled through subtle humiliation tonight, but the weight of it was far too much. He didn't belong in Ric's life, he'd convinced himself of it.
Taking a deep and shuddering breath Blake attempted to calm himself before he worried Godric more than he wanted to. "I love you too," he said quietly, placing a hand around Ric's form and re-opening his eyes to look at him, almost sadly.
---
The kiss, after it ended, still tasted sweet on the vampire's lips but his expression had changed, concerned now. Blake's eyes were wet, watery, like the dam of emotion was threatening to break. Godric had done something wrong. He pulled away a little, holding himsef up on his palms. Was this about Peyton, about children in general? Family holidays? His parents? Godric tried to think of the moment, the words he'd said that were wrong, that had cut Blake so deeply.
"What?" he asked softly, worried. This evening couldn't possibly go any worse, it just couldn't. He couldn't take it.
---
Shaking his head Blake stared up at the ceiling once again. He was in pain at the mere thought of not fitting in with Ric's life here. That coming to the school had possibly been a mistake not only for him but everyone he had affected since being here.
"Nothing," he said but clearly that was masking a lie. He couldn't look at Ric. If he did there'd be no avoiding talking, no passing it off as just the stressful evening taking its toll on the demon. He'd have to voice all his fears and worries and make Ric worry in the process. It wasn't worth speaking about at all. "I'm just tired. It's fine, don't you worry." Finally he raised his head, looking at him with a small smile. He could handle this. "Get undressed. Let's get some sleep."
---
Godric didn't believe Blake at all. But he didn't think he should press the issue. What if Blake was changing his mind, deciding that no, all this wasn't worth it? That even though he'd told Godric that he could imagine the rest of his life with the vampire, that had been before he'd met Delilah and Josiah, before he'd found out about Peyton, before he saw Godric so weak and vulnerable? If those were the thoughts in the demon's head, Godric wasn't sure he could handle them right now.
"Alright," he said, clearly skeptical. "I just... you know I love you." It was a last attempt, a last plea, hoping that if Blake was thinking what Godric suspected, that might be enough to change his mind. Godric changed into his pajama pants in silence, slipping underneath the covers. He smiled at Blake when their eyes met, though in neither man did the smile seem sincere. Please don't leave me, Godric thought to himself as the demon lay beside him, neither looking at the other. Please oh please don't go.
---
Blake changed into his pyjamas in silence also, the rustling clothes sounding far too loud to his ears. Even getting into the normally uncreaky bed sounded like an avalanche. Perhaps he just wanted peace and quiet, to wash away those unrealistic thoughts which were plaguing him. The moment they got into bed Blake was by Ric's side, wrapping his arm around him and snuggling up as close as humanly possible. He kissed where he could reach, a small gesture befor he was supposedly to settle down and sleep.
After two hours of lying awake in darkness besides the vampire it was clear his brain was not shutting down. Taking a deep breath Blake took a chance, speaking into the darkness and hoping that this wasn't during one of the few hours the vampire actually slept. "I feel like I'm intruding," he said softly, barely above a whisper.
---
Godric was used to lying in bed, silent as the grave, letting his thoughts wander. Time passed without knowledge, almost as if her were lying in a coffin waiting for the sun to set. There were a few points throughout the night when Godric wondered if Blake were actually sleeping, as his breath never deepened, never fell into the heavy, steady rhythm Godric was used to. He felt the shift in Blake before the demon spoke.
Godric heard him clearly, despite the whisper. "You're fine," he assured him, assuming that Blake meant he felt he was invading into the vampire's personal space. In fact he hugged him tighter. "Not like you're going to be putting my arm to sleep or something."
---
Blake's voice broke slightly as Ric hugged him closer, feeling utterly foolish and terrible and... everything else that he could feel which meant he was useless. "No..." he said quietly, almost struggling to get it out into the open space. "I feel like I'm intruding into your life. Messing it up. And I don't... that doesn't sit well with me, Godric."
He shifted slightly, curled into Ric's body like a child afraid to say what was on their mind. He could have easily mumbled, avoided going into detail, rolled over and ignored it all now. But he couldn't. "What your mother and Josiah said that was all because of me. And personal relationships at the school have been broken because of me, and you..." He didn't want to mention Cissy or Peyton, not yet. "I just came along. Out of nowhere. This doesn't feel like my life. It feels like I'm trying to be part of yours only not succeeding."
---
Blake couldn't have shocked Godric more if he'd told him he was converting to Islam. The vampire lay there, not moving, not even holding Blake tightly when the demon curled into him. How could Blake think that he was intruding into Godric's life? Godric hadn't had a life before Blake came along. He wasn't sure where to begin arguing.
"Blake... no," he said softly, shifting so he could look at the demon's face, even if he didn't look back. "No. What my mother said... and her husband... it would have been worse if you hadn't been here. You can't blame yourself for that, Georgie can attest... my mother is horrible." Luckiy the female vampire had not been subjected to the vile Mr. Broderick. He ddn't want Blake feeling badly about any of this, because it wasn't his fault. Slowly, though, he began to see the bigger picture. It wasn't about his involvement in Godric's life, not really, it was about the lack of involvement in his own life. Godric had met Blake as a shy, unsure man who did not know exactly where he sat in life. It seemed the only thing that had changed was that now Blake had a vampire lover to deal with on top of his uncertainty.
Taking a moment to think, Godric tried to think of something helpful to say, but was at a loss. Seeking oneself was, obviously, a personal task. "I wouldn't have a life if not for you," he said truthfully. "Before you there wasn't much, just solitude and quiet. And now you've come along and shaken everything up. And I couldn't be more grateful for that." He kissed the top of Blake's head, flattening his hair with his hand. "You are a part of my life. At least... I want you to be." The fear from early sprung up again. Was this Blake's way of breaking it to him softly that this was it, no more?
---
"I want to be a part of your life too." The words were quiet, spoken in such a way that almost felt like he was defending himself. To a degree he was... Ric knew precisely what Blake was going through whereas Blake had no idea. He was oblivious as to why he was feeling such a way. "But you already had one. A settled one. You're a mentor and friend to Cissy, she loved you and wanted to be with you for crying out loud - Peyton is... you see her as your daughter now." There was no point in denying that. "I overheard you two. Before I came out in the... it doesn't matter. The point is how can you make a life with me when you have such a..."
Blake rolled onto his back, pulling out of Ric's grasp with a frustrated sigh. This was all tricky business. "You're established here. I haven't had a proper life in years, not my own friends. Nobody has ever wanted to see me as a father figure. I don't feel settled here at all. You're the only thing I've got going here at all... and yet I seem to be making your life harder and harder for you. At least Georgette was a woman, Josiah wouldn't have taunted her about lube. And you'd be with her and you'd be making a nice life with her. But me..." Here came the tears. They spilled out of his eyes despite him not wanting to cry. There were no sobs at least. "I hurt two people I cared about. And you like Peyton, who hates me because of that, so that's going to make life difficult for you. And my ex is the director, and Nox probably disapproves of my being anywhere near the school and I just..."
It was hard to control sobs that he wanted to express but right now he was doing his best. All that came were shuddering breaths, his stomach clearly tightening. "You're suffering me being here. Because I'm not supposed to be."
---
Getting up on one elbow, Godric looked down at Blake, totally at a loss for words. He didn't know how to reassure Blake. And he hated seeing him cry. Every man the word spoke was cutting into the vampire's heart. He felt ashamed for the way Blake saw him, thinking that he didn't belong in his life, that there was no place for him. There would always be a place for him here, always.
"Blake," he said softly, brushing a tear from the man's cheek. "It took me years to establish myself here. You've only been here a semester, and you've done more and lived more and felt more than I have throughout most of my life. These things take time, and... I know that it seems like it'll never be stable again but it will. I can guarantee it." It had taken Godric many, many years to crawl out from the insanity of the London Underground, but he had. And Blake wasn't even in that bad a way.
Touching his cheek, Godric turned Blake's face to look at him. "You listen to me, Blake Elliot," he said firmly, "I don't want to hear another word about you making my life difficult, about how you're intruding in my world. Josiah would still be an asshole without you here to fuel the fire, he could find a million things to touch upon. And even if I were with Georgette, that is no guarantee that we'd be happily together. I mean... honestly, Blake, what do you think I'd be married to her by now, have children? She'd never put up with half the shit you do, she'd have walked out on me weeks ago."
Godric sat up now, leaning over Blake's face, looking down at him, into those soft brown eyes. "You make my life difficult, yes. You dirty my dishes and leave your coat on the back of the couch and I fight with you constantly and I will never never never understand you as long as I live. And having you and Peyton not getting along might be tense a bit, and having Hope as a boss is undeniably strange. But Peyton is a teenage girl who doesn't yet grasp the concept of 'grey areas' in relationships, and she'll come around once she knows you. And Hope and I have been remarkably civil and almost pleasant to one another. And I can promise you that Nox does not feel so strongly about you being here." He touched Blake's face, stroked his hair, the vampire's expression softening considerably. "I'm not suffering you in the least. You have done such wonderful things for me, beautiful things. And if you even entertain the notion of leaving for one second... well I don't know what I will do. Follow you, I suppose."
---
That hand was so soft, the skin smooth and comforting as it stroked through Blake's hair. It was enough to make him forget any worries and simply allow him to sigh, lying back in the pillows. He was probably being stupid but it didn't make what he was feeling any less real. Heaving a great sigh Blake leant into Ric's touch, grabbing his hand and holding it close to him. Eyes still closed, the demon kissed his palm.
"I'd never do that to you." He couldn't, not that. Make him leave the school? Never. "But you should never follow me if I ever go away from here. Your life is here." But Blake's wasn't. Not yet. To him, life was still back in England and this was just a job. His family was back in the house in Devon, ten miles from the house they'd bought him. That had always been his home, his place. Where his mind lived. "My mind just entertained the notion that you and I might possibly lead a normal life of our own someday, with the children and the holidays and... everything else families do." Blake looked to him now, the empty sadness gone from his eyes but still an echo of loss about them. "But your family's here, Ric. It always will be."
---
It was hard to argue with someone when they were right, and Blake was right. How many times had Godric said that the two of them couldn't have a normal life, that he would stay here and he didn't ever want to return to England, even though Blake dreamed of it? He didn't want to hold Blake back, force him to stay someplace where he didn't truly belong. But Godric never really figured that meant he could drive Blake away. Now that Blake was meeting his eyes, Godric found he couldn't return suit, casting his glance aside. Life with a vampire meant a restricted life, especially with this vampire. Godric's life was here, he was settled and happy and comfortable, and he didn't require anything more.
"I understand," he said softly, pulling away, resting his elbows on his knees. "Yo're right. This is my whole life, everything I want is here. And I know that, someday, you'd want to go back to Devon, back to see your family. Back to your dream house on the hill." A beautiful, small, sunny place not built for a vampire. "I don't... I don't want you to go. I hope you don't. But if you find you're not happy here, maybe..." He had known this day was coming, that this talk was coming. "There will always be a place for you in my world," he said after a moment. Whether or not there was a place for him in Blake's... that was hard to say.
---
When Ric pulled away Blake felt awful. Even worse than he already had been because Ric pulling away meant Ric wasn't going to be trying to make him feel better any more. There was truth in Blake's words and he was going to address it. No more scolding him, stroking his face, just realisation. And that panicked Blake.
Sitting up after a few moments Blake pushed this worry down inside even though this sounded like a break up conversation. His hands were trembling with the energy he was surpressing, the nervous instinct kicking in. He was upset - his energy would rise. Though he'd got better at controlling it there was no telling what a burst of a particular feeling might cause within him and he was doing his best not to let his mind run away with him. It'd do more harm than good. The tears didn't stop coming but once Godric had finished they began to flow with more ferocity. With a loud, short breath Blake wrapped his arms around Ric tightly. "No," he told him. "I'm not going. I told you I'd live without the house on the hill and I meant it. Maybe we can work a way around it all maybe we can sort things out later on when we need to but not right now." Please, God, not right now because he didn't like the way Ric was thinking. No doubt the vampire would feel the complete and utter panic rise up once again, spreading around his body. "You're my life. You. I have nothing else."
---
It did sound like a breakup conversation, because Godric thought it might be one. He knew that he and Blake had irreconcileable differences, but those had felt like future problems until tonight. Tonight they felt like right now problems, right here problems. The hug from Blake came unexpected, but it snapped Godric out of his reverie enough to realize what exactly was going on. Blake was close to panic. Panic meant outburst of energy, which meant destruction. Bad things.
"You will not live without that house," he said firmly, taking Blake by the shoulders and straightening him a bit. "We will not. I'm not... this isn't the end." He kissed Blake's mouth, hard, almost liked a challenge to give Godric his energy, release it. Pulling him close, Godric laid back against the pillows, taking Blake down with him, keeping the demon pressed against his body. They could think of something, some kind of compromise. They both had plenty of time.
---
Godric was being strict now, firm with him. Not quite the headmaster persona he adopted when in stressful situations which needed control, but rather the headstrong lover which showed the assertive side with that hint of passion. The challenge was met by a surprised gasp from Blake, receiving the hard kiss and not being able to help a little energy pushing into Ric's body. It had taken him off guard so he wasn't able to keep a lid on tihs compressed power.
Following Ric's form down onto the bed he moaned slightly, parting his lips so that Ric's tongue could enter. He remained kissing for several moments, caught up in the feel of him. He couldn't imagine existing without this man, couldn't remember life before Ric. It had been normal, dull, plain... the vampire seemed to make everything so much brighter now. Pulling away slightly Blake gazed into the eyes of his lover, one finger tracing along his jaw. "You're the most perfect person I know," he told him. "Even with your flaws. Your flaws are perfect too. And I'm not living without you. I refuse. Even if I have to burn the house down to be with you I'd do it..."
---
One thing that Godric loved most about Blake, one thing that made them so compatible, was that when Godric became assertive Blake metled into him, letting the vampire take the charge he so desperately required. This time was no exception, the demon falling into silence almst immediately. It was very handy when Godric needed to distract him, which he did when Blake's energies went haywire.
Pressing the kiss as far as Blake would allow, Godric held the man close, drinking him in. Godric had felt too weak tonight, he didn't like it one bit. This was a serious conversation he and Blake needed to have, if they were going to have a future together. But instead of keeping his head, talking like an adult, he had panicked and grabbed Blake and kissed him, not wanting to think or talk about the obvious eventuality of them breaking up. A smile broke over his lips as Blake looked into his eyes, traced a finger along his jaw. "Don't be ridiculous," he chided. "This house is... yours, Blake. It's a part of who you are. This is exactly what you were talking about." Oddly enough, Godric had had this same basic conversation with Peyton earlier in the day. "You need things that are yours that... that aren't mine. That you can share with me but aren't based on me, you understand? I think you don't feel settled here because you've made the center of your life your relationships with others. And you need something that is just yours." Leaning up, he kissed the tip of Blake's nose. "Something that will make me insanely jealous that I'm not a part of." He smiled at Blake warmly, pressing another soft kiss to his mouth.
---
Blake was scared that if he had things which didn't involve Ric he'd realise just how different their worlds were and they'd not be able to join. The demon might have been a bit lost but at least he was with Godric. That's all he'd ever told himself he needed, but perhaps he'd been wrong. Not only was Godric trying to help however, he was also making Blake feel foolish. After returning the small kiss Blake tried to smile but it fell soon afterwards.
"You don't get jealous," he said simply, not looking at the vampire and instead focused on tracing patterns on his chest. "So that's a failed quest right there. I may as well just... see if I can't find my own friends outside the school or - just someone different." Though if he felt he didn't know himself any more how would he be able to befriend others? With a heavy sigh he rolled off Ric's body, mind spinning once again. It didn't seem like he'd be sleeping at all tonight.
---
Blake rolled off Godric's chest, leaving a coldness in his wake. The coversation was heavy, but Blake's words left a lump in the vampire's throat. It was true, Godric didn't get jealous, didn't see a need for it. If Blake didn't love him he would have left by now, so there was no sense worrying about someone stealing him away. But the last words he spoke made Godric wonder if maybe there was something he wasn't seeing. Someone different. Did that mean Blake wanted to find someone different?
Godric rolled over onto his side, facing away from Blake. He felt like he should say something, ask Blake if he was going to leave, if maybe he wasn't happy. Instead, he remained silent. Blake wasn't happy and it was his fault. He had been happy with Hope, had been in a normal relationship. The two had almost had a child together and Blake had been thrilled. Godric was never going to be able to provide that life. And maybe if Blake wasn't happy, wanted to find someone else... the vampire should just let him do it.
The two stayed in silence, both wanting to talk but saying nothing. It was going to be a long night.