Garret J. Foss (cant_touchthis) wrote in tiberiusswann, @ 2009-10-12 09:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | garret, lloyd |
Wednesday 1/30/08
Who: Garret and Lloyd
What: Aftermath of Lloyd's somewhat intentional accident
Where: The Infirmary
When: Wednesday Morning
Rating: PG
Garret had stayed in the chairs of the infirmary all night. He hadn't wanted to go home, hadn't wanted to rest, hadn't accepted anything to eat, didn't want coffee. He just sat in the chair, elbows on his knees, hands clasped. His chin was resting on his knuckles, and he stared ahead blankly, looking at nothing. The healers had patched Lloyd up, hooked him up to an IV, given him blood. He had been sleeping for hours, his chest rising and falliing steadily, up and down, up and down. His wrists had white gauze wrapped around them. Garret wondered how many of Lloyd's patients sat in his office with the same white bandages on their arms. How many lovers had found how many people on the floor of their kitchens, bleeding and already half gone.
Garret hadn't moved all night, lost in his own brain. The sun had come up hours ago and still he sat beside Lloyd's bed in case something happened. He was still in his uniform, covered to the knees in his lover's blood. When Lloyd finally stirred Garret snapped to attention, turning his head to watch the demon, almost as if he didn't believe he'd ever wake up again.
---
Lloyd's dreams had been more like nightmares. Red flashes, stains on the walls followed by a maze of vines tightening around him. He'd been running, chasing something but what had been the goal? Strange voices he'd never heard before calling his name and speaking some random babble. The hardness underneath him replaced by something soft, comfortable...
When he opened his eyes he felt like his head was about to split open. This wasn't his bedroom. Though his vision was blurry he blinked a few times, tried to see straight. His arms felt heavy, so did his eyelids. When he shifted his body a little something scratched as his wrists and suddenly he remembered; the knife, Garret, the blood, the slipping out of consciousness... a wave of embarassment, shame and complete self-hate overwhelmed him. How had he been so stupid? WHY had he been so stupid?
It wasn't until he groaned a little in realisation that he saw he had company. Garret looked exhausted, worn out, beautiful... Lloyd had to smile, even if it was small. "Morning..." he said quietly.
---
Garret watched as Lloyd stirred, as his eyes fluttered open, as his brain registered what had happened the night before. Lloyd looked so small, so lost and ashamed and delicate. God, that small, that mouth, so perfect and beautiful. For a minute Garret just stared at Lloyd, just stared, as though if he were to look away the demon would disappear. For a long time, he didn't say anything.
"You asshole," he said at last, getting to his feet and moving beside the bed. "How could you try and leave me like that?" He bent at the waist and hugged Lloyd as best he could, his strong arms lifting the man up and wrapping around him. Garret buried his face in the crook of Lloyd's neck, never wanting to let him go, his breath fast and ragged. "Don't you ever do that again," he demanded, his voice exhausted and weak.
---
Well whatever Lloyd had been expecting it really should have been some profanity. Lloyd had put Garret through hell and deserved whatever he got, which ended up being a hug. Helping the man lift him Lloyd grasped hold of Garret as if he too were afraid to let go. For a moment in his apartment he had been afraid. He had been terrified... but he bet it was nothing like witnessing his lover in a pool of his own blood.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, the sound of Garret's voice so soothing and comforting. He wanted to wrap himself around him and just stay like this. Lloyd was all too aware that he was still rather chilly, his system having not yet recovered from the shock but Garret would do as a blanket for now. "I'm not likely to try though, my best knife's ruined cause of my thick skin..."
---
Sitting on the bed beside his lover, Garret hugged him tightly, keeping him close, closing his eyes and just smelling the scent of Lloyd. It was deep and woodsy and comforting, like coming home. Lloyd's skin was cold, which was so unusual for him. Lloyd was always warm. It felt so different, like everything had changed overnight between them. If Garret had been ten minutes later, even just five, he's be holding a man in a body bag right now.
Lloyd's joke was probably supposed to lighten the mood, but it had the exact opposite effect on the pathfinder. He had spent almost two weeks holding himself together, keeping his head on straight, never letting emotion get the best of him. Now the dam broke. He didn't cry often, and when he did it was raw and powerful and agonizing and deep. Sobbing hard, he held Lloyd's body against his, shoulders shaking violently. His fingers pressed into the bare skin of Lloyd's back, the muscles on his strong arms tensed. He had almost lost him, lost him forever and he would never have gotten him back.
---
In the time they had been together back in Wales, Lloyd had probably only seen Garret cry twice, maybe three times. He couldn't remember the reasons but Garret had always been exhausted, under severe strain and unable to cope which made this moment all that bittersweet. Lloyd tightened his hold as best he could, attempting to comfort Garret. "Ssh, please," he whispered, stroking a hand through his hair. The tight knot of emotion that was settled in his own chest was threatening to come undone. "I'm sorry... I am so so sorry.."
Placing a kiss to his cheek he continued to kiss anywhere he could reach, smelling his own blood on Garret's clothes and skin. Underneath that though was the familiar smell of his love, that manly, strong scent which always sent Lloyd gaga. Now it was serving to comfort him. "I am so sorry I... I'll never..."
---
It was cathartic, this gut-wrenching sobbing, something Garret had desperately needed. It had all gotten to be too much for him, too much strain and worry and demands on him. He cried against Lloyd for so long he thought every ounce of water inside himself was gone, that he woulds shrivel up and blow away like dust in the wind. Lloyd's lips on his face, his forehead, his neck, sent shivers through him. No one had ever affected him as much as Lloyd did, no woman or man.
When he finally pulled away from Lloyd, wiping his eyes and sniffing, he looked at him sheepishly. "I need a tissue," he mumbled, sniffling. God, he hated crying. Made him snottier than a thirteen year old girl. Getting up from the bed he grabbed the kleenex from the table at the next bed, blowing his nose loudly. "Sorry," he mumbled, scrubbing his hands over his face. He stood beside Lloyd's bed, suddenly feeling awkward. Looking down at the demon, his eyes red and puffy and his cheeks wet, Garret looked down at his hands, suprised to just notice that they were stained red.
---
Lloyd didn't say anything more, just held Garret as he sobbed. It was up to him to hold him, take care of him and comfort him as he cried and actually it was his pleasure to do so. It was almost enough to send him into a crying mess too, his eyes even began to well up with tears. The pair of them weren't really a sobby sort of couple - despite Lloyd's breakdown on the Tuesday after letting slip about James and Fisher, neither of them usually gave way to tears. They certainly weren't the hysterics type, which was why Lloyd held on to Garret, stroked his back, breathed him in. He appreciated this moment more than he could say, as intimate as it was.
He watched Garret stand, a small smile on his face. Even with puffy red eyes he looked gorgeous. Arguably even more so. After the rather hot security guard had ungracefully blown his nose Lloyd's smile grew, and he held out his hand so Garret would stop standing there so nervously.
"Sit with me?" he asked, attempting to scoot along the bed, hoping that they could at least talk a little about it.
---
Garret moved his hands down to his sides, cursing himself for not noticing them before. He wished he'd thought to scrub the blood off them so Lloyd wouldn't have to see it, wouldn't have to be reminded. He sat on the bed beside the demon, one knee bent and his other foot still on the floor. "I've been sitting with you all night," he said with a sniff. "I didn't want to leave in case... well if you needed anything..." He let the words trail off, knowing he was going to start crying again if he thought about it. With a small breath he shook away those thoughts. Truth of it was, he wanted to be here in case Lloyd didn't wake up again.
He had a hundred million questions he wanted to ask, needed to know. Mainly, why? Lloyd had told him why a little, but it didn't make sense. It didn't sound like Lloyd. The demon was never so drastic, never thought of permenant solutions to temporary problems. Had Garret really hurt him so badly that he.... The pathfinder swallowed. He had hurt Lloyd before, and badly. This was all his fault. When he spoke his voice was soft, hoarse, tired. "I just... I wish I knew why. This isn't like you, how could you... I mean, you're..." His eyes met Lloyd's. "I almost lost you," he whispered. "You scared the hell out of me, Dragon. How could you do that to me?"
---
Thankfully Lloyd hadn't noticed Garret's hands and if he had he'd have been wracked with even more guilt than he was now. The demon did however manage to raise a hand enough to hold one of Garret's arms, stroke him through his shirt. Just any contact, as much as possible, just so he didn't feel lost. Hearing Garret sound so sad and lost himself though made Lloyd feel worse. His jaw tensed and he hung his head slightly, ashamed at what he'd done. He'd made Garret doubt him, question him, be worried sick over him... and he knew what he had meant when he said he'd be sitting there. Sitting there in case Lloyd didn't make it through.
Meeting Garret's eyes Lloyd looked like he was having a struggle keeping his emotion at bay. In the past several days he would have let the tears flow, sobbed and gone crazy but now the spell was over he was able to take control. "I haven't been myself in two Sundays..." he replied softly. "When that spell hit ... well it meant I was acting on the slightest impulses. Anything came in my head and I did it, with no thought of the repurcussions. No thought of you - and I hated myself for it. When you - when I saw you on that Tuesday..." Lloyd began to tear now, it was harder to keep himself in check. He too was so tired and frankly, this was not some mere emotional whim he had to stop. So, Lloyd's tears began to fall. "I couldn't handle seeing you like that. I couldn't handle the way I'd been so stupid. I'd never have hurt you, ever, never wanted to do that to you, never will again, and when you left I sat in the same spot for two days until I ended up having to move. I didn't leave my apartment in case you came back. It was something I believed in, something keeping me there - and then when I never heard from you again... I saw the knife and I scrawled a note and I did it. I thought I'd lost you, and that nobody cared, and that I was better off gone and you were better off without having me pestering you about everything. I would have never have done it if it hadn't been for this spell. I don't ever want to leave you and I can't believe I did it. As soon as I'd done it I felt myself again, actually, and- shit, Garret."
Lloyd dropped his head back onto the pillows, squeezing his eyes tight. "I was so scared. You were there and you were so good but I was so scared...."
---
Garret knew that Lloyd hadn't been acting like himself. No one had this week. But of everything he'd been so sure of in all his life, he'd been positive that Lloyd would always be faithful. There had been several times when Garret had thought he himself might cheat (and a few occasions where Lloyd would probably consider it cheating), but Lloyd... never. He was loyal to a fault and had far too much integrity for that. So hearing him say that there had been someone before Garret showed up, that he had kissed James when they were together, to hear him say so casually that he had slept with two people... it had stunned him. Stunned him and hurt him more than he had ever imagined possible. Deep down he knew that Lloyd probably couldn't have helped it, that he never would have if he hadn't been influenced. But if he had done it, just given in to every whim that passed through his head, then that meant somewhere in him he had wanted to sleep with both of them. And Garret couldn't handle that.
Still, he loved Lloyd, and he knew Lloyd loved him. He took hold of the demon's hands, gripping them tightly. "Hey," he said, interrupting him. "Don't talk like that. There was no way I was going to let you go. You think I would've spent that much on airfare to chase you here just to lose you?" He smiled at him, his perfect winning smile. Despite his joking he'd been scared too, almost positive that Lloyd would bleed out before he could heal himself. He dropped one of Lloyd's hands to touch his cheek, stroke it gently. "You'll always be here with me, and I'll always be here with you. You just rest, get better. Don't think about it anymore."
---
The fact that Lloyd had cheated on Garret was the thing which stabbed him in the heart most. It might have been self-pitying to think of it but when he thought about it... he was the faithful one. Not that Garret hadn't been but Garret was the wild child, Lloyd was - he was - well he was the reliable one. The one who didn't ruffle too many feathers, the one who was always seen as the stable one of the relationship who wouldn't dream of straying.
Unable to allow this to be glossed over Lloyd's eyes continued to tear as he looked at him. "I can't rest. I can't rest here with you thinking I..." He gathered a shuddering breath, steadying himself. "Fisher kissed me. First. I didn't want to sleep with him until I had him... like that. And with James it was just... I swore I'd never touch him again but he was touchy feely in the club and I couldn't... I mean if the thought even fleeted through my head I had to act on it. I'm sorry. I don't want you to think that I don't value our relationship because I do, it's everything to me and I can't believe I almost - you must hate me, some part of you must really hate me..."
---
Garret closed his eyes, turning his face slightly. He didn't want to hear what Lloyd was telling him, but he knew Lloyd needed to say it so he kept his mouth shut. It was probably important that they talk throught it, get it all out into the open, but he just didn't want to. It ached too much to think about. No matter how many times Lloyd said he was sorry, that he never would have done this unless he wasn't himself, Garret couldn't get over the fact that he had done it.
But did he hate Lloyd? He didn't think he ever could. But he was hurt, hurt beyond belief. Opening his eyes, Garret looked at his lover, smiling reassuringly. "Of course I don't hate you. What a stupid thing to say. I could never hate you." He brought one of Lloyd's hands to his lips, kissing the knuckles. "What happened, it... just happened. You didn't mean it. If you were yourself, you would have just ignored those urges, so I can't really blame you for not acting yourself when no one else was."
---
Lloyd swallowed and wished that Garret would actually keep hold of his hand, maybe kiss him, hug him, do anything just to keep contact. A contact he could have lost so easily because of his stupid act. Trembling he grabbed hold of Garret's hands in his, stroking them and bringing them to his mouth, placing kisses all over them desperately. He sighed, keeping them to his face and rested his head against them.
"I really... I love you, Garret," he whispered, raising his gaze then to look at him. "When you gave me the ring it was so... I want what it symbolises... I want you and I want a life with you." Then he realised something, staring down at his left hand before he panicked. "Shit the ring... I... I was holding the ring or something I had it - where is it?"
---
It was a sad little scene, Garret sitting beside Lloyd on the bed, the demon lost and terrified and kissing his hands like he was a king. The pathfinder looked weary, exhausted, drained. He loomed at Lloyd, the pitiful man in the bed beside him, his heart breaking. He would've done anything he could to get that look from his eyes, take the sadness out of his voice. But the one thing that could do that was the one thing Garret simply could not do. He couldn't turn back time, couldn't take it back. He couldn't be okay with it.
The ring was safe in Garret's pocket, where it had sat for over a month. There was probably Lloyd's blood on his cell phone and inside the lining of his pocket and all over his apartment key. "Maybe you dropped it," he murmured. "I'll look in your apartment in a little while for it." He'd told the other members of secuirty to leave the place as it was, not even allow maintanence in there. Garret would go in later today and clean it. He wanted to look around, find that note Lloyd had mentioned that he hadn't seen yet. He didn't want anyone but those directly involved knowing what had happened.
He didn't know why he had lied to Lloyd about the ring. A part of him didn't know if he would need it, and just thinking it made him hate himself but he couldn't stop himself. If Lloyd had wanted those two boys, even if it was a small part of him he never would have acted on before, he didn't know if he'd ever stop wondering. It was hypocritical and cruel of him, but he couldn't help it. Another piece of him, the part Garret wanted to believe was dominating, didn't want to give him the ring in such a shitty situation. An engagement ring was supposed to be meaningful and perfect and happy, not some shiny memento you left behind when you didn't know if you were breaking up.
---
Lloyd nodded, feeling disappointed. If he really hadn't fucked up enough already now he'd lost the goddamn ring. With a groan he leant back, watching Garret a moment in silence. He could berate himself later on. Right now he was going to drink in every moment of sitting here with him, appreciate the time with him. One hand reached out and stroked down his chest, just to check that his lovely man was real. No tricks. No mind fucks. Just there.
After a moment Lloyd gave a little breath. "I missed you. So much. Not only this past week but those years I spent without you... They were harder than I thought being without you would ever be. I pined every day. I wanted this chest, these arms, that face but I thought - and now you're here. And it's amazing. I repayed you in a fucking shitty way." He looked at him nervously, trying to hold back any emotion which would give the weight behind this question away. "How can I make it up to you?"
---
Garret looked down at the hand on his chest, the outstretched fingers brushing the stiff cotton of his shirt. He could not even begin to comprehend how grateful he was that Lloyd was safe with him again. So many years he'd worried about him, wondered about him, loved and missed him. He couldn't actually believe Lloyd had taken him back.
Make it up to him? Garret shook his head. Lloyd didn't have to make anything up to him. Yes, Garret had come across the world to get to him. But he hadn't exactly been an angel in the interim. "Threesome for my birthday," he said simply, leaning forth and kissing his mouth. He kept it light, tender, full of passion but not sexual. He didn't want Lloyd thinking he owed him, that it was an eye for an eye kind of deal. That wasn't how love was supposed to work.
---
When he actually got an answer, especially that answer, Lloyd laughed a little. The hand on Garret's chest spread slightly, stroking through the fabric and feeling his form. He was even more surprised when he was kissed; though it wasn't sexual Lloyd appreciated the depth and desperate need behind it. Returning it with a little more desire than Garret had given it Lloyd hummed slightly, drinking him in.
When he broke away there was a smile on his face, his eyes rather gooey looking up at his man. If Garret would still consider being his man. "We should take a holiday," he told him, hoping it wouldn't be too soon for such a suggestion. "Explore some place. Spend time together outside of this school setting and be alone. Away from work..."
---
Garret loved that even now, even in this place, when he kissed Lloyd he still got such a reaction from him. He tasted so delicious, his mouth perfectly warm and soft. He couldn't stop a few dirty thoughts from entering his mind, even though it wasn't exactly appropriate timing. "I've got a better idea," he said, pressing another quick kiss to his demon before breaking away completely. "You should rest and get well, heal yourself. Maybe you can come home tonight." Garret ran his fingertips over Lloyd's short hair, down his jaw, tracing the curve of his neck and fading away onto his bare chest. Lloyd's shirt was long since stripped off him and thrown away, too far gone for laundering. Not that Garret ever wanted to see that shirt again anyway.
"I was thinking," he said quietly, eyes averted from Lloyd's, "that... well I'm not sure how this works. You'd know better than I would. But, in light of what happened, since... well since it looks like..." He couldn't force himself to say that word, try as he might. Suicide. It was too ugly, too final. "They're probably going to want you watched for a little while, make sure you won't... try it again. So maybe, if you wanted, maybe you could come home with me?"
---
Dirty thoughts were welcome, encouraged even but Lloyd understood that in this particular situation it might not have been that wise. Keeping him close despite no more kisses, Lloyd watched Garret as he spoke, almost fascinated by him and what he could be saying next. Lying here in such a weak state he suddenly had a whole new appreciation for it all. How Garret spoke - it was deeper than Lloyd had remembered, an undertone, and his eyes were wiser. Still beautiful, though, and Lloyd smiled.
Garret's proposition made perfect sense and it excited him. "Really? You'd - I mean I'd love to stay with you of course." He still felt awful and his insides lurched when Garret said they'd probably want him watched for security purposes but he let it slide. It wasn't worth dwelling on now. "Just until I was well?" It was best asked - he didn't want to assume this was an invitation to move in with him permenantly.
---
Maybe Garret had grown a little in the time he and Lloyd were apart. He was still the same ridiculous, flirty goofball that the demon had fallen in love with, but a lot had happened. Maybe too much. Garret was older, a little smarter, a little more serious. This past week alone had been proof that he needed to think sometimes, not just feel and go with what seemed right. Lloyd had changed too, was a bit more severe, more focused on his life. They had both changed from the boys they had once been.
"At the very least until your apartment is cleaned," he said. It was suposed to be reassuring, tell Lloyd that he wasn't stuck staying in Garret's messy place for too long. But he knew what Lloyd's question really asked, what it actually meant. "We'll see how it goes," he told him, not giving him a real answer he didn't have. "All I know is I want you close right now. I don't want you out of my sight." He couldn't stand to think that he might come to Lloyd's place too late one night.
---
That ridiculous, flirty goofball had been a shock to Lloyd when he discovered he was the love of his life. The silly, over the top man who always wore a smile. Well apart from today. Lloyd still couldn't believe he was the reason Garret had looked so pained, so hurt...
"Okay," he nodded, understanding. He knew not to expect too much too soon. This wasn't an invitation to move right on in and start a new life together or even to forget everything. They'd have to probably talk at some point, which neither of them were very good at doing but perhaps it'd be different. Lloyd would need confirmation that Garret still wanted him before he worried to death, when all this ... business was over.
"I still want to take a holiday with you, though," he added with a smile. "Maybe someplace which is actually warm. With sunshine. And a beach."
---
Going away with Lloyd sounded perfect. He wished they could go right now, just get away from this school and forget everything that had happened. It wasn't practical, but Garret wasn't always practical. "Okay," he said softly, squeezing Lloyd's hand. "Charlie said I get a week off for being awesome. Maybe I'll take you with me, if we can get someone to cover your classes." He and Lloyd had never really gone anywhere before, but then again they'd never had much need to escape before. Life in England had been a little more free than this place.
Nudging Lloyd to move over, Garret laid down beside him, draping an arm over the demon's bare stomach. "Beach sounds wonderful. I get to see you shirtless... watch the sun shine of that thinning spot in your hair... check out your buns in a Speedo..."
---
This was nice. Garret was still warmer than he was so cuddling up to the larger man was like holding a hot water bottle. Lloyd's blue eyes came to rest on Garret's face, studying him. He was so lucky. He had managed to bag possibly the hottest security guard ever. And he would have to remember to tell him that later. Right now he was being whisked away on thoughts of beaches...
But as Garret mentioned thinning spots and hair Lloyd quickly put a hand on his head. "I am not going bald," he teased, feigning ignorance as to what his lover had meant. "And if you think I am wearing a speedo you are very wrong. That will be you, so I can check out the bulge you hide so readily in those pants. Standing on the shoreline like James Bond while I hide under a brolly on the sand. You can see me shirtless any time you like, anyway. I mean look at me I'm in a freezing wing and I'm practically naked. Good job they provide sexy blankets." Sarcastic? Definitely. They were practically sandpaper.
---
Oh, there was little to no question that Garret would be in a bikini brief swimsuit. But he loved the idea of teasing Lloyd, of trying to convince him into one. It would be so incredibly sexy to be walking along the beach, holding the demon's hand while he tried unseccessfully to cover his mostly nude body. "There is no way in hell that you are sitting in the sand while I stroll along the surf. For one thing, you'd have to peel every ovulating woman off me because my sheer testosterone would be irresistable. And for another, how am I supposed to grab your butt in front of everyone if you're sitting on it?" Lloyd just didn't think of these things.
Garret pulled the blanket over the both of them, making sure it covered every inch of Lloyd's exposed skin. He felt so unusually cold and that worried him. He was a fire demon, shouldn't he always be warm no matter what? But as long as he was alive, and talking and acting like himself, Garret would be alright. He kissed the side of Lloyd's head, running a hand over his short, soft hair. "You're not going bald," he assured him. Lloyd wasn't a typically vain man, but in some cases he could be a little sensitive. "And even if you were you'd be sexy. Like Patrick Stewart. Mmm," he purred, just thinking about the sexy British actor. "You'd be perfect no matter what you look like. Because you're beautiful." He brushed his fingers over the demon's face, smiling at the stubble. Lloyd was never so unkempt, and as scary as this whole ordeal had been, it was flattering to think that Lloyd had fallen apart without him.
"You need to sleep, though," he murmured in his ear, kissing it. "You still look pale and exhausted."
---
The images that Garret put in Lloyd's mind were far too funny, not to mention very realistic. He could imagine everything he was saying and quite vividly, and the demon couldn't keep from laughing softly as he leant against his lover. He snuggled beneath the cover, grateful for what little warmth it gave him. Garret was just like some really hot radiator.
"Can you seriously stop going on about Captain Picard? It's rather off-putting. Of course if you'd really like me to play along in this little bald fantasy I can rent a costume. You trekkie," he teased him, but secretly enjoying all the comlpiments Garret was giving him. Even with his stubble, which he remembered with a pang he had failed to shave in his week of pining for the man beside him, Garret was making him feel really... loved. And he didn't deserve it, really. He knew that. But he wasn't about to ruin the moment and tell him that, was he?
"I know I do," Lloyd admitted, stroking down Garret's cheek. He wanted to kiss him so very badly. "Will you - still be here? If I sleep?"
---
With his cheeky grin, Garret shook his head. "I will never stop going on about The Captain," he said. How could he? The man was sex incarnate. One of the only older men Garret actually found attractive, and holy shit was he attractive. "But I'm not a trekkie. I'm just a sometimes fan who has to watch it whenever it's on tv because I'm particularly fond of the characters and I know some random trivia about it..." His voice trailed off. "Well son of a bitch, when did I become a trekkie?" Well, as long as he didn't start going to conventions and buying phasers from Ebay, hopefully Lloyd would not be too embarassed to be seen with him.
At Lloyd's question, Garret's face lost its usual playfulness. He frowned a little, thinking. "Depends on how long you sleep," he said after a moment. "I still have my shift tonight, and I should shower and change before that, so... but I'll stay as long as I can. I don't want to leave you."
---
"You've been a trekkie for as long as I can remember," answered Lloyd, no matter whether that had been a rhetorical question or not. The demon really didn't see the fascination with the bald headed actor, but he did have a nice voice. That's what Lloyd went for, really, voices. And if they had a heck of a body and a face to match then all the better.
Lloyd paused at Garret's information. "Well... at risk of sounding like Wham, wake me up before you go? If I'm not awake already.."
---
Kissing the demon on the forehead, Garret let his lips linger a moment before pulling away. "No," he said truthfully. "I woudn't have the heart to wake you. And besides, you need the rest. But I do promise I will stop in during my rounds and say hello. And maybe they'll let you leave, and I can bring you to my apartment."
The truth of the matter was, he was lying to Lloyd. He'd already told Charlie and Calvin he wasn't coming in today, and neither of them begrudged him that, given the circumstance. He'd wanted to stay with Lloyd all night, make sure he pulled through, that he was really okay and whatever had plagued the school hadn't stuck with him. But he couldn't stay with Lloyd in the infirmary, either. He wanted to clean the demon's apartment before anyone else saw it, before Lloyd had a chance to see it. He couldn't bear the thought of the man walking into his place, his home, and having to relive that awful night. And Garret wanted to find the note, read it and get rid of it forever. He wanted to grab some clothing and essentials and bring them to his apartment. He just wanted to erase all evidence before Lloyd left the infirmary.
---
Garret should add the power of soothing nerves to his list of gifts. Whenever he kissed Lloyd's head or face the demon would slip into some sense of ease and, if he were tired like he was now, he'd not be able to stave off sleep for too long. If he were awake he might go all gooey or the opposite - horny as hell. Either way whenever Garret's lips touched him he had some kind of reaction.
Today's was a small, soft smile before he snuggled futher up to him. God he felt like a needy wench, some stupid little man who had to cling onto his lover just to feel safe. This was something he'd never admit to Garret, but he had a feeling that he knew already. Lloyd had mostly been the woman of the two during their years together and nothing had really changed. "Okay," he sighed, stroking Garret's muscular arm and closing his eyes. Little did he know Garret was, essentially, about to turn into Mrs Doubtfire in a bid to sort out the demon's apartment. "You'd better wake me when you come back from whatever it is you do though. I have no intention of staying here for long."
---
Garret knew the dangerous power he weilded over Lloyd. He was very glad that he knew, too, because he didn't think Lloyd quite understodd just how much hold he in turn had over Garret. He probably wouldn't believe it, either. But Lloyd could have asked the moon and the sky from the pathfinder, and like a djin with their master, Garret would be obligated to comply. He loved Lloyd more than he'd ever loved anyone, and lived in daily fear that one day he'd be gone for good, just leave him like everyone else eventually just left.
Kissing Lloyd's forehead, he breathed a sigh of relief against him. "I'll try to get off early," he murmured. "I told the infirmary staff to contact me when you could go. Which will never happen if you don't sleep." He kenw that Lloyd wouild pass out soon, because he was covered and warm and cuddling, the deadly trifecta against Lloyd's will to be conscious. And if Garret kept talking low like he was, which he intended to, Lloyd did not stand a chance. "I remember very clearly the instant I saw you. Back in that God awful HR job in Wales. My first day, already had ten things on my theoretical desk, they didn't even have one for me yet. I had to share with that creepy guy Stan, you remember him? I swear I've seen him on 'To Catch a Predator'. Anyway. He's introducing me to people, like I need any help with introductions. And then... there was you. Well pressed black pants and a light blue shirt, and you looked so incredibly young. Your hair was perfectly styled and you were focused and I think I might have stared at you a full minute before you even knew I was there. Stan introduced you, I flashed the smile that makes everyone get all sappy, but you... you just said 'Yeah, hi.' That was it. Two words before you gathered your papers and shuttled off. And I remember I was stunned, totally shocked. You seemed so unimpressed with me, I'd never had that happen before. And from that moment on, I knew that I wanted you, and I was going to do everything I could to get you."
Looking down at the demon, his eyes still closed, Garret smiled. It had been worth every milestone.
---
Lloyd listened to the story Garret recounted, the memory so fresh in his mind like it had only just happened. Even the feelings were still close to the surface after all these years. With his eyes closed it seemed even more vivid than ever, like he was actually there. He had been younger, with darker hair, and a nicer figure. He had also been less uptight and a damn good teacher who liked to joke with the kids rather than analyse them. Garret had been pretty much the same. The dickhead didn't age at all. Lloyd laughed as Garret reminded him of Stan - shit yeah that dude had been sleazy. Garret should have felt right at home, or at least have been glad there was someone dirtier than him on the staff.
Laughing gently, Lloyd opened one eye and peeked up at the older man. "You know why I said that? Not only to be the wonderful challenge you so desired to chase and persue until you conquered it, but because there were a few things I thought of the minute I saw you. 'Hot' - 'Out of my league' - 'Shit better answer him'. That is why I said hi and ran. Yet another guy who is hot and unattainable, that's what I thought. But yeah I wasn't impressed really, I mean, you were just eye candy..." Now he was backtracking and it was obvious. "I'm glad you got me though. Your stubborn ass actually did something good..." The last of his words trailed off as he yawned.
---
He had known that Lloyd wasn't impressed with his showey, assertive handsomeness. That had bugged Garret for about a minute. Once he got to know Lloyd it became more and more clear that the demon was just covering up what he really thought, not wanting to be an easy conquest. He certainly hadn't been, but then again if he had Garret would have lost interest. Smiling fondly, Garret laid his hand over Lloyd's eyes so he couldn't look at him anymore. "Sleep," he instructed. Moving his hand to gently caress the man's face, Garret stroked Lloyd's stubble, the tips of his fingers tracing slowly over the skin.
He could tell Lloyd was almost asleep by the way his breathing slowed, and his pulse became slower, and a soft, peaceful look crossed his face. The man was so beautiful Garret couldn't even stand it. This might have been his face in a coffin, at his funeral, gone forever. Garret kissed his cheek, pushing such morbid thoughts from his brain. He wasn't going to think about that ever again. Lloyd would easily outlive him, and he was going to keep the demon close every day for the rest of his life to make sure of that.