Who: Lloyd and Garret Where: Lloyd's Apartment When: Tuesday night, a little before 8pm and a little after What: This "acting on impulse" lark can be incredibly, incredibly dangerous... Rating: R for swearing and general... blood.
It had been days since Garret had walked out of Lloyd's apartment door. The fire demon had made a vow to sit in the very same spot he'd been left in but he had had to move for obvious reasons - bathroom, kitchen. Generally keeping himself busy because of the sheer mindfuck he was experiencing. The internet didn't bring him any joy. Though he checked in on Garret a few times he was an unwelcome interferance. He couldn't even escape James' wrath when he'd only tried to apologise. It as a long dark spiral of a tunnel of one thing after another and Lloyd couldn't see a way out.
This feeling had gotten worse and as he meandered around the dark of his apartment once again he lamented to himself. Nobody was getting better. Everyone was still in the fucked up state they'd been in since the last Sunday. Whenever Lloyd had a thought he was tempted to act on it and it was difficult for him to stop himself. It took so much energy to not go to James' place, to not call him if only for someone to cry on but James had told him to fuck off anyway. It was better that way but still Lloyd felt terribly lonely and what was worse was that he had done it to himself.
At a loss Lloyd stood at the counter, the black kettle boiling in the corner. His hands rested on the tabletops, as if he was supporting himself. He didn't know whether he could take another day of this. Garret hadn't spoken to him. Lloyd was too scared to ask. Even if this whole mess at the school blew over would there really be any chance of a reconciliation? Would anyone even notice or care if he wasn't here? He was hurting too many people and there was an easy way to make it stop and he didn't feel like being strong any more. As he watched the water bubbling he realised he was crying softly, and the fiercely wiped the tears away.
Before he knew what he was doing a pen was in his hand scrawling a note on a napkin. "I am eternally sorry that I hurt you" was now written on the white paper and then discarded, the pen dropped in favour for a knife Lloyd used to cut the bread he made. The blade was sharp and it cut his wrists nicely, the pain only coming after around ten seconds of the slice. Lloyd dropped it to the floor. It was over. It had had to be done. But as he felt a sad comfort in his chest it was suddenly replaced by something else. This stung... this realy fucking stung...
Oh shit... as he saw his blood begin to flow down his arms onto his kitchen floor Lloyd stumbled back and slid down against the cupboards, feeling dizzy. Oh shit...
--- It was finally done with. Whatever had needed to happen had finally happen, the spell or curse or whatever it was being held on everyone finally done with. Garret had been on patrol when it happened, and he knew something had changed because he could feel it. The way the air felt was different, almost as though the static that had always been there was gone. People were asking questions that made sense, were getting these looks of shock on their faces that said the realized all the shit they had done. Garret's mind immediately went to Lloyd, about where he was when this all changed back, if he was okay. He knew he'd been cold to the man this week, but he couldn't keep himself together and think about Lloyd and what had happened. Still, it was over now, and as soon as he was sure everything was secure he strode up to the demon's campus apartment.
Garret was exhausted and it showed. He yawned deeply as he knocked sharply on Lloyd's door, standing there a moment and waiting. There wasn't an answer. He tried again, knocking harder. "Lloyd?" he called, listening to the door. There was a teakettle screeching, but no movement. He gave the door one more pound, calling his lover's name, a demand that he answer. Nothing. Taking a deep breath Garret stepped through the door, dizzy for only a brief second after. His eyes scanned the place quickly. It was messier then normal, like Lloyd didn't care if things made it back to their proper place. Not a good sign. He strode over to the stove to turn off the heat. He didn't see Lloyd first, didn't see his body limp and sagging against the cupboard. He saw the thin, bright river of blood on the pristine while floor. "Fuck," he cursed, running over.
There was Lloyd, looking small and scared and not completely there. And bleeding from the wrists. Garret fell to his knees beside the man, grabbing his hands, checking the cuts. Deep, the right deeper than the left. Of course- Lloyd was left handed. "You idiot," Garret whispered, panicky and terrified. "You stupid... how could you do this??" Reaching up he groped on the counter for the dish towel, yanking it down and wrapping it tightly around Lloyd's right wrist. Looking around he didn't see another towel, and he hissed a curse at the kitchen.
"Lloyd," he said sharply, trying to keep his voice free of panic, "look at me. Lloyd, look at me, right here, now, at my face." The man's eyes were dull, glazed over. "You stupid asshole," he spat. "How could you do this to me??"
---
In the moments that followed Lloyd sliding onto the kitchen floor the fire demon began to inwardly panic. His chest began to shake as he stared at his arms, crimson red and soaking, the rivulets of blood dripping onto his clothes and staining his skin. "Shit... shit.." What had he done? Why the fuck had he done that? The urge had come over and he'd not been able to resist it for some weird fucking reason like the rest of this week. This hurt. This really fucking hurt but as quickly as he was losing blood so was he losing his senses. Consciousness was not a thing he was being able to hold on to despite his attempts to raise himself. He was getting his blood all the way up his perfect pine cupboard doors but he finally couldn't do it any more...
He heard the knock on the door as if it was faint down a tunnel, his eyes blinking desperately to try and focus. He wanted to speak but no words would come out. What the fuck had he done...? He needed help, he needed to call out to this mystery person at the door but he couldn't. Please come in... he thought, wanted to cry out and he almost literally cried when he saw the figure which he could not mistake to be anyone but Garret. His cheeks flushed red with shame as Garret scorned him, trying to help him but Lloyd didn't really understand what was happening. All he could do was stare at him, tears forming in his eyes as he ignored the questions completely.
"You came back..." he whispered hoarsely, staring at him in amazement.
---
If anything could have broken Garret's heart more than coming in to see Lloyd bleeding out on the floor, it was hearing those three choked words. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, refusing to get emotional, refusing to panic even though terror was sitting on every move he made, every word he spoke. "I said I would," he replied simply, knowing he wouldn't be able to get out much more than that successfully. The dish towel was already stained a deep red. This wasn't working.
"I'm gonna go to the bathroom," he told Lloyd, staring into his eyes, trying to get something through to his demon. "Get some towels, and... listen to me, stay focused! I'm getting towels or gauze or some such thing. I will be right back, you hear me?" He grabbed either side of Lloyd's face, shaking him a little. "Do you fucking hear me??"
---
Lloyd could see Garret's eyes shine even if he didn't want to appear emotional. It was all Lloyd could focus on to remain stable and he had to do that. He was so stupid, thinking he could do this and leave Garret. He couldn't leave Garret, ever...
"Okay," was all Lloyd managed to get out. He wanted to say how much he was sorry, how much he loved him but it was lost when Garret moved to go into the bathroom. It pained him but the demon rose his arms to examine just how much damage he was in. This would not heal in time. Though demons could heal fast he needed nothing short of super fucking fast stitch overs to recover from this fucking mess. He couldn't even cry, couldn't even wail. He just slumped back against whatever was solid enough to support him and prayed Garret wouldn't be long.
---
Garret waited for a response, nodded once, and took off. As he walked quickly to the bathroom, he pulled his walkie-talkie off his utility belt. "I have a Code 38 in the staff building A, room 2C. Need a medic and blood bags, ASAP." He replaced it back onto his belt, not listening to the static answer, just trusting someone would come. Upon arriving for his job at TJS, Garret had been handed a thick book of call codes and security rules. He'd thumbed through it dutifully, getting the basic gist of things. One thing that had always stuck out was Code 38, attempted suicide. It was his age so he'd always remembered it, actually thought it was funny. He didn't think it was funny now.
Thankfully Lloyd was organized. Had this been his own apartment, the demon would be dead before Garret could find anything useful. The towels were neatly folded in the linen closet, and he grabbed a small stack. Lloyd's neckties were on a perfect hanger (color coordinated, God damnit he was perfect and he needed to fucking survive this) and Garret grabbed two, a red and a purple. Not that the colors mattered at all. His last stop was the utility drawer in the kitchen, which held a yet to be used roll of duct tape.
"I'm back," he announced, grabbing Lloyd's shoulders and straightening him up. "Hey! Stay with me, ok Dragon? No closing your eyes, no falling asleep on me. Just... don't go anywhere." His tone was light, hiding his fear. He wanted to joke about Lloyd not dying, how if he even thought about it Garret would Find him in the afterlife and kick the crap outta him. But he couldn't. Grabbing the ties, he wrapped one around each of Lloyd's biceps, tying them tightly. First, cut the blood flow. With that done, he wrapped a towel around each of Lloyd's wrists, securing them in place with a few laps of duct tape.
And that's when he saw it. The ring on Lloyd's left hand, on the ring finger, sparkling and bloody. Garret bit the inside of his lip, his chest heavy and ready to cave in. He was wearing the fucking ring. Well, what had he expected? He slipped it off the demon's finger, putting it back in his pocket, not bothering to wipe the blood off it first. Lloyd was as prepped as he could be, and hopefully help would arrive soon.
Kneeling beside him, Garret touched Lloyd's face, streaking blood across his cheek. He didn't think the demon would mind. "Why?" he whispered, leaning close to him, pressing their foreheads together. It was all he could think to say.
---
There was nothing Lloyd could do which would show Garret how grateful he was. As he watched the man disappear to the bathroom, the bedroom, Lloyd tried to keep his breaths steady. Garret would want him to. But his eyes were tired from crying and he felt so sleepy, so weak that he gave in to the need of closing his eyelids. He was drifting away, the faint sound of footsteps announcing Garret's arrival when he jerked his head up. Alright, no sleeping, no closing eyes.... whatever he wanted Lloyd would do his best.
Lloyd looked at the ties, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Th... those are my best ties.." he said softly, barely audible but he looked at Garret. Even if his dear one couldn't try and keep the tone light, Lloyd would try and do it for him. He'd had a thrill at being called by his nickname, his pet name. Garret still wanted his dragon, so the dragon would stay a fucking round as long as he possibly could. The ring had not been off his finger for at least four days. He had worn it as if he could harness some sort of strength from it, some willpower. He imagined himself happy with Garret, married, what the ring symbolised - and now it was bloodied with Lloyd's stupid mistake.
He leant into Garret's touch. It was soft, warm... Lloyd was suddenly very aware he was cold. But at his lover's question Lloyd's face crumpled and he sobbed a ltitle. "I thought you weren't... I couldn't live with hurting you..."
---
Garret didn't smile at Lloyd's joke, even though he wanted to. He wanted to keep conversation going, but he couldn't. He thought if he opened his mouth too much he would start crying or throw up. Instead he focused on his work, hands moving quickly.
The tears in his eyes threatened to spill over, but he absolutely refused to let them. He swallowed, hard, forcing a smile onto his face. Where the fuck were the medics? "Well... I told you I'd always come find you. I meant it." His heart was cracking like thin ice, threatening to shatter. "Lloyd, I just... I am so, so sorry." He was sorry he hadn't gotten here sooner, that he'd walked out that day, that Lloyd had ever doubted for a second that Garret loved him.
---
It wasn't that Lloyd doubted that Garret loved him. He knew that the man loved him a lot. Too much if Lloyd was honest, because why else would he be bothering now, fawning over him when the demon had been so stupid? No, it had been because Lloyd believed Garret would stop loving him, that what he had done would cause Garret to leave and never return. And Lloyd had believed over a week without word was proof he had completely messed up the only relationship he'd cared about, turned the only man he was ever so deeply in love with against him.
Shaking his head slightly Lloyd sniffed. He needed his breath, couldn't afford to be gunked up now. "You... no... no need to be... I ruined..." He was drained so much he could barely keep his eyes open let alone speak. He glanced at the floor. Such a mess, and Garret was kneeling in it... how many fucking pints did demons hold? "I ruined everyth.... thing..." Now Lloyd was tired. So tired. He just needed to close his eyes, drift off a little. A nap wouldn't hurt... he couldn't hang on to this any longer.
---
Lloyd was slipping, he could tell. Someone was coming soon, he knew, but not soon enough. Not soon enough to reassure Garret. "Shh, shush," he pleaded. "Don't say anything. Just breathe, just... don't talk." One renegade tear ran down his cheek. "You just have to be okay. Just be okay." He needed Lloyd to be okay. The alternative was too much to think about.
"Lloyd, no," he whispered, holding his face. "Don't go to sleep, don't, please..." He pressed a desperate kiss to the demon's mouth, trying to coax him awake, get him to kiss back, anything. He could hear the medics out in the hall scrambling, their footsteps heavy. It felt like a weight lifted off his chest. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you, please, don't die on me..."
---
Lloyd returned the surprise kiss, pressing his lips against Garret's tenderly. He loved that man's mouth. Hell he loved that man, and a small smile crept onto his face. The sounds of the medics scrambling through were lost on him. He opened his mouth to reply an I love you, to just speak when his eyes unfocused and the hand which had been cupping Garret's cheek fell to his shoulder. He was too tired. He was just too tired, and with a small sigh he sank back, watching Garret before his eyes closed and both his vision and the sounds went dark...