Sunday 21st January Who: Georgette and Ric (A bit of Blake later) What: Georgie realises what she did during her disappearance last week and runs to Ric for help despite their tense and dangerous evening on Sat Where: Hotel with Cherry, then Ric's apartment When: EARLY on Sunday Morning Rating: G
Georgette had awoken besides her date for the evening, naked and wrapped amongst sheets and Cherry's limbs. Bleary-eyed she raised her head. The room was dark, flickers of light she couldn't quite focus on. Her mind was foggy, her limbs aching... she had no recollection of how exactly the night had gone but she put it down to drink. Her head was slightly heavy, not unusual... She attempted to remember what she had just been dreaming - a flashing, sweeping vision of a man dripping with his own blood, a taste of alcohol and the smoke... a surge of bloodlust fliled her to her core and she felt her senses flair. That hadn't been a dream, wasn't even a nightmare. It was a memory, something recent... she had actually been feeling that brutal force...
Startled, Georgette sat upright. She had to get out, for Cherry's sake. Out of her own head, out of her own skin, but right now out of this room. Through the vast, unsheilded windows she could see the pink beginning to bew on the horizon signalling the dawn and she panicked, jumping out of bed and beginning to get dressed. A hasty note was scribbled to the sleeping woman; "Had to leave. Sun was rising. We should do this again x" so she didn't think she'd been abandoned before the vampire left the room, the hotel, and practically ran to her car.
There was something about the hum of the engine which made her mind wander. She was remembering more and more. In the fresh morning cold of the new January day it urged Georgie's memories forward, made her shiver with the realisation of what she'd been doing. A feeding den. Drugs. Alcohol. A fucking FEEDING den. And Ric - oh God, she had behaved terribly... her hands were shaking and her composure was shot. There was no way she would be able to make it all the way back to the school. She could only hope that Godric was awake in his new apartments - and in a forgiving mood.
She arrived at the apartment block, cheeks tear-stained and her whole body trembling. The knock on his door was faint, hardly any strength behind it. "Please be home, Ric.." she whispered to herself, hugging her chest. "Oh please be home..."
---
Saturday night had been a sleepless one, one where Godric had laid beside Blake for hours, just listening to the demon breathe as he slept, with his arm over him as though he were keeping him safe. Godric's mind was its usual tickertape of constant thought, and at around 3am he finally decided he'd had enough of laying still and got up, covering Blake with another blanket as though to make up for his absence.
The living room was still and quiet and messy (thank you Wesley), and Godric set to work cleaning it. Oddly rnough, one of the reasons Godric liked living with Wes so much was because the man made a mess, and that gave Godric something to do with himself when he was stressed. And right now he was stressed. He worried about Georgette, and what was becoming of her. He worried that he should have known this was coming and he hadnn't stopped it because he'd been too involved in his own affairs. He worried that he'd hurt her a lot more than he even realized, that their close friendship was just a mask for deeper feelings from her he wasn't acutely aware of. "Jealous I've found someone who appreciates me at last? Someone who allows me to be me and doesn't fuck me over like you want to?" That's what she had told him last night. Did she really think of Godric that way?
He heard a knock on his front door, and for a moment thought perhaps it was something blowing in the wind. But he closed his eyes, listened. No, someone was out there, whispering to themselves. He was torn- the sun was almost up, and opening the door might mean certain death for him. But it wasn't quite dawn yet, and someone coming at this early hour was probably someone in need. There was a small hallway between the actual apartment and the outside door, a tiny room that trapped all sunlight and made it so Wesley or Blake could come in and out during the daytime and not fry their vampire roommate. Godric stood in this small hallway a moment, listening, sensing. Finally, he opened the door to the outside, and was quite suprised by what he saw.
"Georgie," he said, mouth hanging open a little. She looked a wreck and she didn't smell like herself, and her face was wet from crying. Looking over her shoulder, the pinkish orange of dawn spread out over the horizon. "Get in here," he said, sweeping an arm around her and shutting the door, locking the dangers of daylight outside.
---
The relief which swept through Georgette was so overwhelming that she burst into tears the moment she was safely inside his apartment and threw her arms around his shoulders. Just being in his presence was like... she was secure with him. Nothing could harm her. Not even those dreadful memories which were plaguing her this very moment. Sobbing into his chest Georgie clung onto him for dear life.
"Oh thank God... Ric, I'm so sorry," she whispered, sniffling and not wanting to get go. She shifted a little so her grip wasn't as vice-like but her hold was still strong. "I shouldn't have... I don't know what happened, I was... I'm so sorry..."
---
Standing in the small hallway in total darkness, Georgette clinging to him and apologizing and sobbing, Godric did not quite know what to do. This was more the Georgette he knew, the woman he cared about and worried for. He didn't know how to comfort her because he didn't know what was wrong.
He brought her inside, took her to the couch, sat with her, all the while never letting go of her. He understood that people were calmed by him, probably because he was normally so unruffled. In times of hysteria you needed a rock, and he was solid as one. Sitting there, stroking her hair, Godric let her cry, let her soak his shirt and cling to him and get out all her sorrows. There were hundreds of millions of questions he had for her, but he couldn't ask yet.
Ric was such a driving force, like the core of the earth. It was nice to hold onto him, to know he was there for her. To even know that she had someone to count on, who cared enough to let his shirt get ruined with her tears. After a good few moments of crying she leant away, taking some space and wiping her eyes.
"No," she said gravely, shaking her head. "I'm not safe. I'm not safe from myself... I didn't.. I woke up this morning and it was like I didn't know myself. I remembered everything. Oh God..." She buried her face in her hands, almost creasing up. "I was there, I was feeding... I was in a den, oh Godric..." She attempted to sort out these visions in her head, her mind spinning with information. "There were... they were... oh God I think I turned someone... how could I do that? How could I ... help me... " she pleaded.
---
She was scaring the shit out of him. Georgette was normally so calm, reserved, she was the voice of reason when Godric couldn't make sense of thigs. Yet here she was, hysterical and scared and confessing things thatchilled Godric to his very core.
Feeding dens were, despite their appearance, fairly well organized. Most young vampires went there to indulge in their bloodlust, and older vampires that ran the place didn't allow for anything too terrible to happen. Of course, the definition of 'too terrible' varied by vampire. To some, a dead human was nothing more than a dead rodent.
"Georgie," he said sternly, to ger her attention. "Calm down. I will help you, you know I will. But I can't if I don't know what's happened." He wasn't sure if he was ready for the details, but he needed to hear them. More importantly, she needed to share them. "You said you think you turned somebody. I don't believe you did." He took hold of her hands, turning them over to see her wrists. They were smooth, untouched. Not that that was a guarantee that she hadn't, but it was a start. "No marks, so you haven't opened your wrists," he showed her. The scars might have healed already depending on when she'd done it, but still.
"I want you to think. Think back to the place, to where you were, remember as best you can. And tell me if you remember anyone in particular, someone that you feel... sort of pulled to." Though he hadn't turned anyone himself, Godric knew that most sires were drawn to their children, could almost feel where they were at any given time. If there was someone Georgie felt compelled toward, that might help clarify.
---
There was something in Ric's voice which made Georgette calm a little. Her shakes began to soften and she was able to control her tears. When Ric took hold of her wrists she winced. It wasn't very comfortable, having the only person she trusted looking over her arms to try and see if she'd sired someone. It was horrible.
"What must you think of me?" she asked softly, humiliated and embarrassed. "I can't believe I... and what I said to you back at my place with... you must think I'm so terrible." She was in danger of going back into her endless tears but managed to restrain herself. "I'd never been to a place like that before. I didn't even know one existed here, not until He..."
Godric's question, or rather request for her to think back to that time made her wince but she did so anyway, her line of thought interrupted. She was attempting to do what he asked, focus on someone in particular but all she was drawn to was the thought of Will, the man who'd encouraged her to go through with it. She did not, however, remember his name at all. Just his face, and his eyes, and the feeling she got when she was around him. She had thought she was safe, just like she did when she was with Ric. How wrong she had been.
"No child..." she said quietly. "But my thoughts are cloudy.."
---
The way he looked at Georgie had certainly changed, though not totally for the worse. She seemed more deep to him now, like there was so much about her he thought he'd understood and didn't. She held a lot more secrets, more hurt, more potential for danger. It should have been obvious, since he held those things in himself, that she would as well. But she had seemed so good and smart and just... better than he was.
"You weren't yourself," he answered, his tone as soft as hers. "I certainly can't think any less of you for it, I'd be a true hypocrite. And besides, you... I understand what you went through. All of it." He continued to hold her hands, rubbing the palms gently with his thumbs. It was easy to fall when you felt alone and unhappy. It was a relief that she couldn't remember a child. Even though she looked exhausted and probably had most of her memories blanked out from drinking and using drugs, she would most likely remember something as important as that.
"You should rest." Godric brought a hand up to her face, wiping tears from her cheeks with the tips of his fingers. "Obviously you'll be staying here today. You can stay out here if you like, or I can kick Blake out of my room if you'd rather have a bed." Blake would understand, and if he didn't then Godric would make it up to him.
---
Georgette leant into his hand as he brushed the tears away but she shook her head as soon as he suggested he kick Blake out. "No. I don't want to sleep. I remember... too many things when I'm asleep. I managed to get some rest last night, I - had a date with Cherry," she said, giving him this new tidbit of information to do as he wished. "I don't think he would want to see me anyway, after I - I can't believe I threatened to drain him, Godric."
She looked lost. Unsure of herself, at a loss as to what or how she had behaved... hanging her head she looked at her lap. "I know I've disappointed you. If it wasn't for him I'd have never been through this. Maybe I would still have your respect."
--- Her date with Cherry was information he did not know what to make of. It was good that she'd gone out, been with someone. Hopefully someone who was making her happy. She needed to be happy. There was so little happiness in her life, it seemed, something Godric felt ashamed he hadn't noticed until now.
He laughed softly, shaking his head. "Blake is not scared of you," he told her truthfully. Godric had wished Blake had been last night, but he wasn't. "He sees the best in everyone, sometimes naively so. But he knows you're a good woman, Georgie." He lifted her chin, meeting her eyes. "I know you're a good woman. You still have my respect. My respect, my love... my useless, still heart." He moved closer to her, his hand moving to the back of her neck to pull her face to his, their foreheads touching. "You are the one who forced me to love someone," he told her. "I will never forget that. And I will always love you. Truly, madly, deeply."
---
Cherry had made her very happy but still, this was overshadowing that delicious night they'd shared together. If Georgette could take a deep breath she woud have done just now. It was nice that Godric still had faith in her. Looking into his eyes she smiled softly at his words of comfort, actually finding them soothing her.
And yet that all changed. The moment he told her she was the one who had allowed him to love Blake, that he would love her too... it sent a spiral down her chest and into her stomach, her whole body suddenly feeling like it was made of lead. Her eyes closed, trying to hide the tears which suddenly filled them and she leant away, avoiding his gaze. "I know," was all she said, not saying what she wanted to. Not enough to want to be with me. Not how I want you to. Not like I love you.
Finally opening her eyes she decided to look into space rather than Ric. "You mean a lot to me."
---
He had said something wrong. He could feel it, a change in the air around them, the way her body tesned slightly, how she pulled away from him. Godric watched her expression change, his face falling. Georgie was struggling, holding back tears, holding back words. He wanted her to say them but at the same time, he didn't. He knew what they were already and speaking them aloud wasn't going to change anything.
Her voice was almost like lead, it was so dull and void of inflection. She was purposely hiding her emotions. "I know I do," he murmured, turning to face forward, leaning back against the cushions of the sofa. There was much he did not say as well- I wish you didn't. I wish I had never replied to that journal post you made, never started conversation, so I could never break your heart. This must have been how Blake felt when Hope had gone that last time, that deep, heavy feeling of guilt and regret and hundreds of other feelings that couldn't be helped. Except Georgie had never asked Godric to choose, he had simply just chosen and let her go.
"Would you still want me if Blake would say yes?" The question was out before he'd had time to think about it. His damn mouth never acted up this way, why would it start now? Closing his eyes, he cursed himself internally. "Never mind," he continued. "Forget I asked that. It's a stupid question to ask right now."
---
She felt bad, having made him feel so deflated all of a sudden. She hadn't wanted to react so strongly to but love was a rather strong emotion. Instead, Georgie glanced at him from the comfort of the sofa, studying his features. He was so beautiful and he didn't even realise it. Was such a lovely man, but never acknowleged it, self-depricating as he was.
His question caught her off guard, her chest rising as she bit her bottom lip discreetly. A pause, a second thought, and then an answer despite his request she forget it.
"I would never take you away from Blake," she said softly. "I would never ask that he give you some form of permission to be with me, because it would not be fair at all. To him or to you. He loves you so much, and you are so in love with him. I know I could never compete with him. But if you did not have him, if you... were a single man with room to spare and willing to spend a little of the love that you have in that ginormous heart of yours on me then I would be with you in a second."
---
Godric had not expected an answer to the question, had not wanted one, but the one Georgie gave him was fair and sincere. Still hurt, though. He didn't think that he could explain to her that he did still love her, and missed being with her, missed the taste of her. Yet he needed Blake, couldn't live without him. And asking Georgie to share him with someone when the emotions weren't even, when everything was askew and unbalanced... it would be torture to everyone.
"Thank you," he murmured softly. He didn't know what else to say. She was too good to him, and surely she knew that. Too patient and too kind and too loving. He sat in silence for a little while, beside Georgie, letting his thoughts settle in. There was probably much more to say between them, but it was best left unsaid.
"Do you need anything?" he offered. "Or just... want anything?"
---
It was nice just sitting with him, clearing her head. Even if they did not say another word to each other she was much calmer and sure of herself than she had been before. It was nice not to worry and not be worried to be alone. If she began to go off the rails perhaps Godric would be able to stop her.
"No, thank you, I'm fine," she smiled, patting his knee. "You are helping me a great deal, just... putting up with me."
A noise behind her pulled her attention and she turned to see a tall, thin figure emerging from the darkened bedroom. Blake stretched the stiffness out of his spine, shrugged his shoulders as he tottled out into the living room, pyjamas all askew. His tired eyes widened slightly as he saw Georgette sat beside Godric, but he gave her a smile. "Morning," he said sleepily, feeling a little self conscious. Georgette returned the greeting as Blake passed, scuttling into the kitchen so he could leave them alone.
---
"You're no bother at all," he assured her. "I'm glad that you're okay, and you've..." His voice trailed off, distracted by the sudden opening of his bedroom door. It was sunrise, what on Earth was Blake doing awake at this hour? He watched the slender man pad into the room, looking half asleed and messy in his pajamas. Godric couldn't keep the grin off his face- Blake looked like an extremely tall five year old.
"I'm really sorry you had to see that," he said to Georgie once Blake had disapeared into the kitchen. "He really is revoltingly adorable sometimes." The adoration was clearly apparent in Godric's eyes, even after Blake had gone. "Anyway." Godric hoped that Wesley would not emerge next, though it was unlikely becaus Wes slept like the dead. But he also had a habit of being less than clothed, not something he wanted to expose Georgie to at the moment.
---
Blake had gotten up because there was no Ric by his side and he could hear voices in the living room. That had been why. He almost wished he hadn't bothered now because he believed he'd need to hide in the kitchen for the remainder of their conversation if not the entire day just to stop making a nuisance of himself. Wesley on the other had was practically dead to the world, and his light snores would be able to be heard from the living room if they cared to listen closely enough. He NEVER got up early on a Sunday.
It was sweet to see Godric's eyes sparkle, so alive with pleasure about his love. With a little laugh Georgette stroked his shoulder and arm, rubbing him softly. "Do not apologise. It's lovely to see you so - bright around him and clearly in love. A different man from what I remember at the start of the year," she smiled, nudging him gently. There was a scuffle in the kitchen, followed by a clink and a small "Bollocks" which was audible to the vampires' ears. Georgie grinned. "Perhaps you should give him a proper good morning."
---
Smiling shyly, Godric looked down at his lap. It was true- he was nothing like he had been at the start of this school year. He didn't know what was so special about September of 2007, but it had changed his life. "Thank you," he said quietly. He was happy, and he wished Georgie was happy as well. She deserved to be.
"Guess I should," he agreed, rising from the couch and pressing a kiss to Georgie's forehead. "At least just to make sure that's not my 100 year old cereal bowl he's clinking about." Godric pushed through the kitchen door and found Blake, still disheveled and cute. "What are you breaking in here?" he teased, scooping ther man into a hug.
---
Georgie smiled as Godric rose, settling back into the sofa. If she could bottle the amount of glee and joy that Godric felt every time he saw Blake looking cute she'd be a very rich woman - because they would sell like hotcakes as the new favourite drug.
When Godric entered the kitchen Blake was by the sink, fetching his mug. A frown was on his face but it lifted as soon as Ric's arms were around him a small smile replacing it. "My thumb, apparently. Banged it on the counter trying to stop a cup from falling. Remind me not to do it again," he sighed, resting his head on Ric's shoulder with a little hum. This was nice. Comfy. Warm even though Ric didn't know it. "Has Georgette's need to kill me gone away?"
---
"Blake?" he said, a hint of deviousness in his voice. "Don't do that again." he held Blake a moment, content where he was, until Blake asked about Georgie. It felt like a quick stab in the chest, something between guilt and shame. "She didn't want to kill you," he said softly. "She wanted to... play with you. And yes, she's fine now." Better not to go into details. "She's going to stay here with us today, so... She's had a rough weekend. Be nice to her, ok?" Not that he expected Blake to be mean, but Georgie needed a little more TLC today.
"Anyway, why are you up so early, it's barely even six." He rubbed Blake's back. "You should go back to bed, enjoy all the space." Not that Blake didn't already. Godric was often left at the edge of the bed, as Blake had insisted on curling up as close as possible and taking up every bit of space possible. Not that Godric minded, mind you.
---
Blake poked Ric in the sides for his cheekiness, hoping to at least gain a little squeak from him as compensation for the remark. He felt him jerk at the mention of Georgie though, and the demon leant back a moment to listen and watch hims peak. "I'm not exactly going to tear her head off for acting completely loony and out of character. I don't know what you vampires go through but so long as she's alright now all is well."
There was no doubt that Blake was still sleepy, his eyes creased and his voice dopey and low, but there was also no way that he was going to go back to bed knowing that Georgie was here. Despite his assurances he would be pleasant he didn't really want to be around her all day, and so he thought of an excuse. "Because you weren't there and I heard voices. It doesn't matter though I'm not going to stay here long. I have papers to grade back at the apartment so I might head on off after breakfast and try and do that..."
--- Despite the poke, Blake did not get the squeak he was aiming for. He did get an unhappy grunt, though, which was just a cover for the giggle that was trying to get out.
Godric looked into Blake's eyes, reading him, seeing that Blake was omitting something from him. It wasn't hard to figure out what it was- after all, Godric had been the one to instill the fear of Georgie in Blake to begin with. And he felt like a dick for it. He had been scared himself, unsettled, but he didn't want Blake thinking she was dangerous. "Alright," he murmured, loosening his grip on Blake. He understood him not wanting to stay here, but it stung a little. "I should get back to Georgie, I just wanted to... say good morning." Godric let his hands fall from Blake's waist, but pressed a small kiss to his cheek. "You can take my jacket, since I dragged you out without one. And, I guess my car, for that matter." Blake didn't have any shoes and Godric's wouldn't fit him, and it was a two mile walk back to TJS. He smiled faintly at Blake before heading back into the living room, sitting gently beside Georgie and staring at the blank television.
---
Blake didn't like disappointing Godric but then again he couldn't really stay here. It wasn't his home, for one, and though he did feel at home in this apartment already with Wesley and Godric and the entire feel - Georgette was not a homely thing to have. He watched Ric leave the kitchen, sighing a little. And just when everything had seemed to be going fine...
When Ric entered the living room Georgette was fast asleep, despite her assurances she wasn't tired. Curled into the cushions of the sofa she appeared to be quite comfortable and finally peaceful. Her mind was no longer running on overdrive and she was already deeply in a slumber, resting away the worry and horrendous memories of what she had done.
---
Godric hadn't even noticed his blonde companion was asleep until he turned to her to apologize for being so distant. Smiling a little, he brushed his fingers through her hair. She looked peaceful, more like the woman he had first met. Georgie had been through a lot lately, and the stress showed on her delicate features. At least she was sleeping now, getting much needed rest. He worried about her, would continue to worry about her. Godric did still love her even if he couldn't show it well.
Standing up, Godric slid his hands beneath Georgie's limp for and lifted her easily, her head coming to rest on his shoulder. He kissed her mouth chastely, carrying her off to his bedroom so when Wesley did finally get up, she wouldn't be disturbed. He laid her down on the side where he slept, climbing over her to lay where Blake's body usually was. It was still warm and smelled strongly of the demon. Pulling the blanket over them both, Godric laid there, breathing in deep Blake's scent and holding Georgie in his arms.