memory comes when memory's old Who: Regina and Hailey Hawthorne. What: Hailey unexpectedly returns home and Regina is forced to come clean. Where: Their apartment in the 2nd ward. When: Present day. Warnings: None. Progress: Gdoc, complete.
After Hailey Hawthorne submitted her thesis and received approval for graduation, she slept. Between waking to order food and showering once or twice, she slept for nearly a week. Upon regaining her strength and returning to the waking world refreshed, she called her sister. It was the arrangement they had worked out over the years. Regina knew Hailey would become all consumed by work and she gave her little sister the distance required of Hailey to finish her work. Not having spoken to Regina since shortly after Christmas wasn’t unusual, but Hailey was sure that now -- in June -- Regina would be waiting to hear from Hailey and the news of whether or not she had been granted graduation and, therefore, her doctoral degree. But Hailey’s call went unanswered, leaving Hailey surprised… and a little hurt.
It took two weeks before Hailey reached optimal panic and decided it was time to return to the Crescent City. She had spent most of the past ten years in upstate New York but New Orleans had always been her home, or rather, where Regina was had always been her home. For two weeks Hailey had tried to call her sister -- but her voice mailbox was full. She had tried to text her -- she never got a response. She had even tried to email her although Regina wasn’t the best at answering emails to begin with. When Hailey’s 29th birthday came and went without a peep from the elder Hawthorne, true anxiety unleashed in her chest and spread through her veins. Something was wrong; Regina never missed Hailey’s birthday.
Returning to New Orleans, however, wasn’t just a quick decision that could be properly handled in a moment’s notice. The dorms were closing and since Hailey was no longer a student at her school -- and she hadn’t been granted professor status at the college -- she had no reason to remain nor could she keep her belongings there. Instead, she filled a day with packing her belongings while still trying to get in touch with her sister. With the boxes packed, Hailey dropped them off at a post office and addressed them to the New Orleans apartment Regina still had, the one Hailey had spent her teen years in, and bid her belongings adieu. With the return of her room key, Hailey’s life in upstate New York came to a close.
She had considered flying home but didn’t want to spend the money. Over the past few years while she worked as an adjunct professor she managed to pigeonhole some emergency funds but she still didn’t feel like this was quite an emergency. At least, that was what Hailey wanted to believe despite that her heart was quivering with unspoken fears. Touching the money would declare this an emergency, so they remained untouched. Instead, the thin blonde opted to get on the first bus to New York City.
It took two more days before she reached Louisiana. Going from one bus station to another, sleeping on cramped benches, moving her aching body and suitcase to a new bus and then curling up in the seat, she chose to sleep for most of the trip as it was the one guaranteed way Hailey could escape her worries. She had continued to call Regina, going so far as finding the only working payphones in probably the entirety of the east coast at a North Carolina rest stop and trying Regina’s number on that. Perhaps Hailey’s phone was broken, perhaps Regina just wasn’t getting her calls. But she still heard nothing.
When Hailey arrived in New Orleans, the summer heat was already hanging heavily on her, drenching her skin and making everything sticky. It was somewhat a blessing that the sun was already hanging low on the horizon; Hailey silently welcomed the night and cooler air. She changed into a sundress, peeling her jeans and t-shirt off her unshowered body, then made her way to the streetcar that would take her to the 2nd Ward.
By the time she reached the front steps of her apartment building, darkness had set in but the air was still filled with the sound of cicadas and the scent of jasmine. Pausing at the mail unit, Hailey frowned. The door for the mailbox was half open with stuffed letters and bills nearly spilling out. Letting go of her suitcase, Hailey reached for the mail and tucked it under her arm before entering the small, shabby apartment complex. Unlocking the door, she paused for a moment and swallowed. Hopefully Regina was just inside and her phone had actually been broken. Hopefully, this long trip and all her worry was for nothing. Hailey opened the door.
“Regina?” She called, looking up and pausing in the doorway. It smelled like stale air and was far too warm. The windows were covered in thick sheets -- they could never afford proper curtains -- and it was dark. Fidgeting for the kitchen light, she flicked it on and stepped into the small space to allow the door to close behind her. Everything looked dusty, clothing littered the couch, and there was no sight of Regina.
Hailey’s room, at the very least, was still in the same state it was the last time she had visited. Gone were the boy band posters and her bed lay bare with what blankets she had ready to be placed whenever she came home. Books were stacked haphazardly up the side of the wall but otherwise her suitcase was the only new addition. Hailey trailed back into the kitchen and began sifting through the mail -- late notices on bills, mainly, and Hailey thought of her emergency funds. The oldest letter had been dated weeks ago -- Regina hadn’t been around in awhile. Laying the mail down with a sigh, she looked at the ceiling of the apartment and felt her eyes burn. “Oh my god, Regina, where are you?” She asked nothing. Her stomach growled, reminding her that she barely ate during the busride home. If she ate, she might be able to think more clearly. Perhaps she should call the cops...but first, food.
Turning to the fridge, Hailey pulled the door back and froze. It was empty. A frightened noise escaped Hailey’s throat. Maybe Regina had been missing for much longer than she though. She could feel her chest tightening, anxiety creeping up and threatening to take control as her vision began to narrow. Regina may have been missing for months and Hailey hadn’t even noticed. She could have been lost, just like their parents were, and Hailey was so stupid and selfish, and focused on her school work, she only now noticed.
A noise behind her sent her thoughts flying; the scrape of a key in a lock made her worries scatter. The door thrust against its frame, and a muttered curse came out of someone's mouth on the opposite side of the entryway. They were clearly confused as to why their key had locked the door instead of unlocking it, and then set to work on undoing that action. Then the door sprang open, revealing a shadowy figure obscured by the one streetlamp still in working order.
The figure moved into the space slamming the door behind them, to reveal a woman dressed in jeans and a hoodie, the latter pulled up over her face. She glanced around, her gaze finally falling on the person who had entered the apartment first. Regina fixed her younger sister with a confused stare, not fully registering her presence. The elder Hawthorne sister was ragged looking -- sallow skin, sunken eyes, but the worst of it were three jagged lines running across her face that broke apart the pieces that had once made up her fairly pretty countenance. Regina blinked, one hand rising in unconscious thought. Finally, she settled on a frown.
"Shit. I forgot you had a key."
Hailey was frozen in place with her jaw hanging low. When Regina walked through her door, she was flooded with emotion. She’s alive, she’s okay, she’s alive, she’s okay, repeated in her mind, but Regina’s comment shook her joy at finding Regina alive and okay out of her brain and in its place was anger.
“You forgot I had a key?” She questioned, her voice high with emotion. “Are you kidding me, Regina? What the actual fuck? Do you know how many times I’ve been trying to get in touch with you? I’ve been calling for weeks. I’ve been texting. I haven’t heard anything from you. Nothing. You don’t call, you don’t text, you miss my birthday, I come home because I’m frightened as hell that you’re...you’re dead or something, and you walk in and all you have to say is that you forgot I had a key? Seriously, Regina?” She yelled, turning fully to her sister but not stepping away from the fridge. They had the short width of the kitchen area with an old island between them and Hailey made no move to close that distance. She glared at her sister but her eyes shone with tears. When she spoke again, her voice was shaking, “I can’t believe you!”
The frown hardened into a line as Regina took a step back toward the door; her eyes were a mixture of unspoken emotion as she clearly fought to keep something tamped down. She clenched her jaw, then closed her eyes as she breathed out.
"Look, you can't stay here, OK? I need you... I need you to pack up your things and go back to New York." Steeling herself, Regina moved forward to grab one of the suitcases Hailey had brought with her. "Come on, I can take you back to the airport or the bus station or however you got here."
Hailey’s brow furrowed and she moved forward, interceding with her sister at her bedroom doorway and making a grab for her suitcase handle. “No,” she snapped. “I have no home to go back to in New York, Regina. You would’ve known if you answered your damn phone. All my shit is being mailed here right now. You can’t behave that way then just kick me out, this is my home too--” Hailey’s hand bumped into Regina’s at the same time as Hailey noticed her sister’s face. Regina snatched her hand back, but it was already too late.
Not only was her sister's hand cold -- that was a minor but specific detail that Hailey’s mind registered -- it was Regina’s face that made the blonde fall silent. Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open again. “Regina…” All venom left Hailey’s voice and all that was left was a whisper, “oh my god, what happened?” Her free hand reached up, slowly, to touch the scarring across her sister’s face. Regina pulled back, stepping away from her sister. Her teeth chewed her bottom lip for a moment before her gaze went dark.
"I'll help you get a hotel. My phone..." Her phone was back at the small room above Member's Only, mostly left unused as she grappled with her new reality. "There's a nice Best Western over on Canal. You'll be safer there." She went to move as though she were going to make another grab for Hailey's suitcase, but instead remained in place, clearly uncertain of the situation.
Hailey mirrored her sister’s stillness for a heartbeat. She looked at her sister, studying the scars across her face, and felt her pulse race and her throat constrict. She thought of the monsters her sister had told her about when she was only eighteen. Vampires, but by another name, and the truth behind their parents’ death. Hailey swallowed. “Regina, why can’t I just stay here? This is our home. Have… have you been staying here at all? It doesn’t look like you have…” She frowned, turning her head to look over the cobwebs in the corner and the sheets over the glass. She didn’t want to ask her sister what happened because she suspected she already knew. She swallowed again and felt sweat on her brow. “What do you mean about my being safer there?”
Regina closed her eyes, then opened them to stare at the floor. Her voice was on edge between pleading and commanding.
"Just listen to me, all right? Get your shit and come with me, now." Her eyes came up to meet Hailey's, and they were anything but the familiar gaze of the sibling she'd grown up with. There was something in them that was threatening. Regina did her best to swallow back some of the anger, the look receding. "Just. Please, Hail. I'll explain things at the hotel. I promise."
Hailey took a small step back, if you could even call the small movement a step, but the message rang loud and clear--the look on Regina’s face made something deep and inherited in Hailey’s mind frightened. Still she was silent for a moment before she gave a slow nod. “O-okay,” she said, slowly letting go of the suitcase. “I just have to get my purse,” she began, but turned toward the bathroom instead. “And I need to get some bathroom things. I didn’t pack any in my bag, it’s all in the boxes being shipped. I’ll have to come back here to check to see if my packages get delivered though, I don’t want someone stealing my stuff.” She flicked on the light for the bathroom and came to a stop, eyes wide at the sight of the broken mirror. She turned, her face pale and horrified, and stared at Regina.
“Are you sure you can’t just start explaining everything now? Please, please Regina, just tell me you’re okay. You’re scaring me.”
"No, I can't, and you're testing my patience," she replied, clearly at the end of her rope. She grabbed Hailey's suitcase and started forward to grab her sister's arm. "I need you to listen to me. This is important. Stop stalling, grab your purse, and let's go. Now."
“Fine,” Hailey snapped, pulling her arm away from Regina’s grasp. The hotel would probably have shower stuff, Hailey reassured herself, and she could probably get a bag of cheap throwaway razors from CVS. With a final glance at the broken mirror, she flicked off the bathroom light, reached for her purse and turned to her sister, waiting for Regina to lead the way. “I have some emergency funding,” she began. “It’s not enough but it could cover a hotel for a night. I can’t afford much else, Gina. And anyway, where have you been staying? Can’t I stay with you? It’d be a hell of a lot cheaper having the both of us in one place than paying for two different hotels.”
Regina was already standing by the door, and pulled it open as Hailey moved toward her.
"I'm not staying at a hotel. It's...complicated." She walked along with her sister's suitcase without issue, moving them both toward the street. She directed them both to the cable car tracks, halting at a nearby stop. The two stood in complete silence, Regina staring off down the street as though she could make one of the cable cars appear through sheer will. Thankfully, they weren't left waiting for too long as one of the slow moving cars appeared. It rolled to a stop beside them, and Regina produced enough money for both her and Hailey to board. Once they were onboard and surrounded by other people, she seemed to deflate a little, as though a heavy weight had been removed from her shoulders. She carted Hailey's bag to the back of the car, expecting her sister to follow. Regina dumped herself into the furthest set of seats she could find, which, at that late hour, were left completely empty.
Hailey slid into the seat beside her and looked forward, quietly, her hands clasped together as she tried to think to something to say. She glanced at her sister once, twice, and found her words fail her each time. Finally, she tried a different tactic. “So,” she began, her voice nearly being drowned out by the rumbling of the streetcar. “The board accepted my thesis and submitted it for graduation. It was a little too late for actual graduation, but I got my diploma.” She tried to smile but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You’ve got a doctor in the family.” Her smile slowly disappeared. “It… it should be mailed to the apartment in a few weeks.” Her voice faded and she looked at her hands. “The school didn’t offer me a job though. Just another adjunct professor job and I would have to find a place to live. It doesn’t really pay a lot though, so I wouldn’t be able to afford a place to stay or my bills. One or the other. So… so I was planning to come home. I figured I could come home and spend time with you and then maybe apply for jobs for online universities. But when you didn’t answer my calls and my birthday came and went, I got scared.”
Regina closed her eyes even as she still listened. It was like her sister's voice was a balm, something so long sought after that she was still having trouble accepting it as a reality. She pursed her lips, swallowing.
"I'm sorry about that. Things have just...they've gotten away from me." She swallowed again, as though her throat was so parched no amount of water could cure it. Wriggling one hand free from the sleeve of her hoodie, she reached out and laced her fingers with Hailey's. "I want to say I wish you hadn't come home, but I'm glad to see you." The cable car rumbled on, passing dark houses with softly glowing porch lights and lit-up buildings with patrons spilling onto the streets. As they passed further into the living part of New Orleans nightlife, Regina seemed to further uncoil, clearly feeling more at ease.
Hailey gave her sister’s hand a squeeze and continued to look straight ahead. They were silent as the train rumbled on for a moment longer before Hailey could find her voice again. “You promise to explain everything once we get to a hotel, right? Everything.” She wanted to look at her sister in the light of the streetcar and inspect the scars on her face. She wanted to ask why Regina’s hand was chilly. She wanted to get down to the bottom of it all. “From why things have gotten away from you, to why I can’t stay at our apartment, to why I can’t just stay with you now, to why… why your face…” She quieted and bit her lip, lowering her gaze to her lap. The streetcar dinged as they neared the stretch of hotels along Canal.
Regina shook her head, denying Hailey's questions for the time being. They lapsed back into silence, until Regina's hand reached up and tugged on the yellow cord requesting a stop. As the cable car trundled to a stop, she stood, indicating Hailey should as well, and the two made their way off of the vehicle.
The only change in her demeanor was that Regina did not let go of Hailey's hand. She carried her suitcase in the other appendage, and led her sister toward the hotel she'd described earlier. Regina booked a room, paying for it with a large wad of bills that she pulled out of her pocket; between that and the scars on her face, the employee behind the desk couldn't stop staring. Regina paid it no attention, accepting the two keycards to the room without comment and stalking off as soon as they came to hand. They went into an elevator, and ascended three floors; the room she'd booked was sandwiched in the middle of a hallway. As they walked along its length, they passed a small family of four. The two screaming children grew quiet as Regina passed, their eyes fixed on her face. The younger one drew closer to its mother.
Regina all but tore the door open, pushing Hailey inside first before throwing her suitcase on a nearby chair just inside the entryway. Closing the door behind her, she locked it and set the safety bar. Then she moved around her sister to the far wall, where she made sure the windows were closed and locked, before pulling the curtains tight across them. A quick dip into the bathroom met a similar check, though there was no curtain to pull across the window there.
Hailey waited in the center of the room, her arms crossed as if she were hugging herself--and maybe she was. “I’m pretty sure it’s secure, Gina,” she murmured as her sister passed through. “Can you tell me what the hell is going on now? Everything because I’ll know if you’re keeping something from me. What happened to your face? Who did that to you? Why are we running away from home? And how the hell do you have that much cash?” Once more, Hailey suspected she knew the answer but did she ever truly believe in vampires? Of course, she generally latched on to anything Regina said so it must be true, but she never saw one, never witnessed this seedy dark world that apparently existed, so it was easy for her to block it from her mind and convince herself it was all fake. But the way her sister looked… Please let it be drugs, please let it be drugs, Hailey thought.
Regina started to come out of the bathroom, and then lingered in the doorway. She crossed her arms over her own chest, mirroring her sister, and leaned against the doorjamb.
"Sit," she said, chucking her chin toward the threadbare bed. She sighed. "I'm not even sure where to start. This," she waved her hand at her face, "happened six months ago. I went after an older Kindred who was stalking in mid-city. I pinpointed him in one spot, and I wasn't sure how long he'd be there for -- he was a roamer, kept changing lairs like he knew he was being hunted. Or, I don't know. He just never slept in the same spot twice. I couldn't get anyone else to go with me, so...I went alone."
“Gina,” she whispered, softly, her sister’s name sounding like a sigh as Hailey slowly lowered down onto the bed. To an outsider, it was just Hailey stating her sister’s name, but between the sisters, the tone of her voice held so much more. It was a small reprimand for Regina going it alone. It was the concern of all that Regina had to do in general. It was the sadness that this had happened six months ago and Hailey was only now finding out. She said nothing more though, it was all said in her sister’s name, and she sat in silence as Regina continued her story.
Regina went silent for a moment, turning her gaze from Hailey to the floor as though it were too difficult to look at her sister and detail these events. She was essentially reliving them all over again; her eyes drifted out of focus.
"I was stupid. I should've staked him first, I don't know why I didn't. I was just there, and I was...I don't know, worried that he'd wake up. I had lighter fluid, I dumped it all over him. You'd think that would've been enough. I got out my lighter, and... He grabbed me almost instantly afterward. There were flames everywhere. It fucking hurt." She closed her eyes, scrunching them tightly closed. She quickly edited for brevity, not needing to remember the rest. "He somehow put himself out. He fed on me. And then he turned me."
She opened her eyes again, looking back to Hailey. "I don't know why; I haven't seen him since that night. I don't know if he knows about the apartment, I don't know if he knows about you. And I want to keep it that way. The only reasoning I can think of is that he turned me because he was pissed and he didn't think death was enough. That's why you can't go back to the apartment. I don't know what to do with it yet. I know it's been six months, but..." She shrugged. "I've been up to my ass in alligators, dealing with everything else."
Hailey stared at her big sister with wide eyes but was otherwise very, very still. Despite her lack of movement, her heart was pounding in her ears. She tried to process it all but found herself stunned. Silence grew until Hailey realized she hadn’t responded yet. Blinking, she tried to formulate something to say. “Does it still hurt?” she asked, her voice quivering. “The… the marks on your face. You were burned too, right? Where… where else did he hurt you?”
Regina waved a hand, switching into her older sibling mode. It was easier for her to deal with anything as long as she was handling someone else's problems. "It's not important. Just...you're safe, for now. That's all I care about. I want you to stay here, on Canal. It's kind of a border between factions, and if you have to go anywhere, call me first, OK? Whatever it is I'm doing, I'll drop it. Did you get some food? We can run downstairs to McDonald's or something, they're gonna be open late..."
“No,” Hailey replied, shaking her head and moving to hug herself again. It wasn’t clear what she was saying no to but she didn’t clarify her statement. “Are… are you okay? With… with me, I mean,” she said, her voice shaking. Her gaze had moved to the floor, much like her sister it was easier to not look at her. “You held my hand but… but am I safe? With you?”
Her sister's eyes went wide, and hurt colored her face. "Of course. I'm not some...I'm not an animal, Hail. I... I fed already. I would never put you in danger." The corners of her mouth dragged down, and she took a step away from the bathroom door to move to the center of the room. "If you want me to go, I will. But you're...you're safe. I promise."
“No!” This time, Hailey’s voice was louder, clearer. She looked up at her sister. “Don’t go, please. I don’t want you to go but… it’s just... I thought that vampires were all bad. You made them seem to all be bad. I didn’t know… I just wanted to be sure. I didn’t think you were, because you took my hand, but I wanted to be sure.” She lifted her hands and rubbed at her eyes before looking at Regina again. The tip of her nose was pink, something it did before she got upset and had done since childhood, but her eyes didn’t appear to be filled with tears--at least not yet.
“Can I hug you? Is that okay? Can you sit over by me? It’s just… this is a lot to process. I mean, you lived it and, God, you did it by yourself. I should’ve been here but I was off with my nose in a book. I’m sorry I hurt your feelings, Gina, I didn’t mean to hurt them and I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” Hailey stopped and took in a shaking breath.
Regina didn't respond, but instead started forward, sitting on the bed to take her younger sister into her arms. True to her word, she didn't sniff, or bury her face in Hailey's neck; she just grasped her, the side of her face pressed to Hailey's. Her little sister slid her arms around Regina’s middle and hugged her tightly.
"I've learned a lot...since then. It's...it's all really complicated. It's not your fault that you weren't here. It's better that you weren't. I might have... I might have done something to you." Her words and the movement of her mouth reverberated through Hailey's skull. She closed her eyes, stroking her sister's head with one hand. "You don't have to be sorry. There's nothing to be sorry for."
“Well, I still am,” Hailey murmured. “I’m sorry you had to go through this. It’s not fair.” She pulled away slightly, just enough to look Regina in the eye. It was the closest she had gotten to her sister since she arrived and she frowned at the changes she saw there, the delicate skin where the scratch marks were and how thin she seemed. “I was so mad at you. I couldn’t believe you weren’t answering your phone, but I wanted to be mad because it wasn’t as bad as being scared. And then you walked in and I saw you and I knew. And yet, I was trying to convince myself you were on drugs. That would’ve been so much easier.” She lifted a hand and brushed at Regina’s hair and sniffed.
“We can figure out the apartment situation. The lease is up at the end of the summer, right? We just won’t renew it and move our stuff out. I could go over during the day to pack everything up. And then… I don’t know, we can go get a one bedroom somewhere near here. In the borders, right? We can get a one bedroom and share the room together or something. But then we’ll be together and have our own home again. It’ll be okay,” she said firmly with a nod, trying to convince herself as much as Regina.
Regina shook her head. "Hail..." She brushed a hand over Hailey's head, tugging on one lock of hair. "I don't know if it's safe for you to stay here, permanently. I think it's better if you find a job somewhere, away from here. Just... So much has changed. I can't... I can't stay with you. It's not about the feeding. Just..." She swallowed again, closed her eyes, and opened them once more, plastering a smile on her face. Hailey already had her mouth open, more questions ready to come out, but Regina silenced her.
"We don't have to worry about any of that right now. Let's get you some food. I can hear your stomach grumbling." She rose up from the bed, tugging on her sister's hand. "Come on, Big Mac's on me. You have to let me smell your fries, though."
“Oh, Gina,” Hailey said, her tone different than before and meaning a list of other things. Yes, I’m hungry, you know me so well; I wish you could have some fries with me; and I missed you, you scared me, I’m never going to leave you again. Without another word, she allowed her sister to lead her out the room to a greasy dinner that awaited her.