Remus Lupin (te_remus) wrote in third_event, @ 2008-12-05 11:50:00 |
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Entry tags: | * december 2001, - complete, remus lupin |
RP: Trapped
Date and Time: 5 December 2001; Mid-Afternoon
Characters: Remus Lupin
Location: Various places in and around
Private/Public: Private
Rating: PG
Warnings: None
Summary: Remus just needs time to think.
He needed out. Out of the flat, out of London, out of every place imaginable. What Remus needed was time alone to think. It was all too much for him to comprehend and having people pulling at him wasn't going to help matters either.
He felt like everything he had ever learned was wrong and somehow, the mass of confusion stemmed from the same family. Sirius and Nymphadora. Cousins of all things. Sirius was guilty. Sirius did the crime. Remus still remembered watching him be taken away to Azkaban, feeling as if his heart had no emotion left in it. James and Lily's deaths were hard enough - but then to lose Pete within the week and now Sirius had a hand in the deaths of three of his friends? It was too much to take.
Sirius was guilty... wasn't he? Yes, he knew everyone had "shown" him those memories but he still wasn't completely sure what to think anymore. Neutrality -- that's what he was attempting for the time being. But when he couldn't make up his own mind, it made it rather damned difficult to know what was going on?
And then there was Nymphadora. That was a whole other can of worms he wasn't sure he was ready to open. He'd married Sirius's cousin how many years in the future? On top of that, he apparently had a child. Him. The werewolf. Had a child. Had he been out of his bloody mind? Had the grief and the loneliness become too much to bear and he finally gave in to a woman - any woman? Remus wasn't sure and he also didn't know if he was ready to learn the secrets of a life he didn't remember. Maybe he had truly loved her too but he had no recollections and no way of knowing. He knew it wasn't fair to her to stay away but when Remus didn't know what to do, he hid away from everything. Bury his head in the sand and hope it all went away. The only problem was this situation wasn't going away.
But there was Teddy to think about and the inexplicable urge he had to be near the boy as if he were drawn to him like some gargantuan magnet. Drawn there like a moth to a flame. He knew he hadn't gone to see Teddy yet but how could he explain to anyone that he was scared to death to meet his son?
He may not have had the money for a trip but he found himself at Paddington station nonetheless and purchased a train ticket. Wales. Some place that wasn't London.
He just needed time to think.