Inwardly, Everil was cursing herself as she put more distance between them. Stopping at the first corner she disappeared behind she heard every word like a stab to her stomach. Wrapping her arms around her middle, she slumped against the brick of the building. Slowly, she slid down as her body gave into the shakes until all of her muscles were trembling.
What the bloody hell was that? she berated herself, What exactly did you accomplish? You only made things worse!
Slowly her mind replayed the conversation in agonizing detail, Aoife's words cutting her again and again in hindsight. That whole incident at school should never have happened. Aoife should never have known about it until she firmly had her foot in the door at the boy's school.
What was so wrong about her wanting to secure herself and her loved ones with powerful friends anyway? Couldn't Aoife see that she would have benefited from that? Then it really hit her and then the tears started, slowly at first, then faster.
She really was alone. Aerin was gone. Her parents were long gone. Who was she really fighting to protect now anyway? Herself? Completely alone. So what was the point? Her head reeling now beyond belief, she pushed herself up, stumbling slightly as she made her way back to the main road, bumping into a man who looked tucked into himself.
shouldn't have let him, everyone's sick, sick, can't go home, Marta'll get sick, find a healer, everything's so dark, have to find a healer, someone who knows, Everil wrenched herself away from the man who went shuffling on down the road. His thoughts were... tainted, so depressingly dark.
Rubbing her face and forehead in an effort to disperse the feeling, she couldn't help but shudder. It had at least let her mind leave her anyway. She was going directly back to her room. If she stopped between here and there, she was terrified she would go for a drink. And with her mind and emotions like they were now, that would be a very bad idea.