WHO: Logan and Jamie WHEN: Saturday night WHERE: Karen's party WHAT: Logan is troubled, Jamie tries to help Rating: PG Complete
The party was good, there was plenty to drink and despite the presence of some tiresome people (aka Malfoy), the company was great. But although on the surface Logan seemed to be his usual cheery self, on the inside he was not happy.
For one, he was still sore about Durmstang rescinding the invitations to the Circle conference. Not just for his sake, although that was a large part as the conference would have provided some excellent networking opportunities, but also for the sake of the Muggleborns. Although, when Delia had first pointed out the likely reason for the withdrawal, Logan hadn't been angry for the sake of all the Muggleborns within the new crop, just for her.
Which brought him to the second thing preying on his mind - Delia, her confession that she wanted to go out with him and the unresolved tension between them. It was really preying on his mind.
So instead of being in the middle of the party, Logan was sitting outside looking up at the starry sky and sighing.
So far Jamie had managed to avoid Malfoy, which meant she was having a very pleasant time at this party. She loved to social and busy atmosphere, happy to flow from one person to another for conversation. Summer meant that it was a bit harder to see everyone, and once school started those friends that she had who had graduated were going to be even harder to see. Thus this party was a perfect time to catch up with people outside of the journals.
Taking a step out to get a bit of fresh air, Jamie was surprised to see Logan just sitting there in his own world. Usually he was even thicker into the atmosphere of a party than she was and the fact that he wasn't caused her to worry. Putting on a smile, she sat next to him and kissed his cheek. "See anything exciting?" she asked curiously, following his eyes up to the stars.
"Huh?" Logan blinked when Jamie sat next to him. He was so absorbed in his thoughts he hadn't heard her approach.
He glanced back up at the sky and laughed softly, almost a little sadly. "Not really, I was more seeking inspiration or enlightenment and I'm not getting either," he confessed, shifting to give Jamie some more space, his arm going around her shoulders with easy familiarity.
"The stars are mean like that." Jamie teased gently, "They like to be quiet when you're waiting for them to say something."
Jamie leaned against him lightly and looked back up at the stars. There was something wrong with him, what she had no idea at the moment. This was not like Logan, to be out here and introspective at a party. "Was there any sort of particular enlightenment you were after?" she asked.
It was indicative of Logan's distracted state of mind that he didn't respond to her teasing with a playful quip, just made a small 'mmm' sound.
He smiled slightly at her question. Jamie certainly couldn't help with the Durmstrang issue, but perhaps she could with the Delia one. At any rate, he needed to talk to someone about the issue before he exploded.
"I'm having a problem with a friend - who fancies me, in that they want to go out with me," Logan rubbed the bridge of his nose, frowning again. He didn't feel right mentioning Delia's name, even though he knew Jamie wasn't a gossip. "I don't know what to do about it... I don't want to hurt them."
When he admitted his problem, Jamie's eyes widened for a moment in surprise. Though, should she think of it completely there was not too much of a surprise. Logan was very charming and Jamie supposed that she could understand why a girl would want to keep that as a more permanent set up. On the other hand, Jamie shared Logan's wariness of such situations.
"That is a bit messy." she thought aloud. "But if that's not what you want, there's really only one thing to do. Anything else would just be cruel to the both of you."
This wasn't the first time Logan had dealt with a girl wanting something permanent from him, but it was the first time the girl in question had been a close friend, which had to be the reason why he was so troubled.
He didn't want commitment. Hadn't past experience shown he wasn't good at it? Look at how he'd treated Cam as he got more and more tired of her personality and his gaze starting roving - culminating in a public bust-up that caused her to cry. So why was he thinking about it? Especially when Delia had said it was pointless anyway, what with them both being busy.
"Of course, it's just a delicate situation," Logan said in response to Jamie, nodding a couple of times. "I've put a bit of distance between us over the past couple of days, it's just... ugh.." he ran this fingers through his hair and dropped his head down to Jamie's shoulder. "I never thought this person would want this from me."
Jamie wrapped her arm around him gently as he leaned against her. Once his head landed on her shoulder, her hand naturally made its way up and ran through his hair gently. "I'm not sure what to tell you." she sighed, looking down at him for a moment.
It was obvious that it pained him and really there was a part of her that was glad it wasn't her. These sorts of situations could rarely end well and usually just ended in pain. But Logan did usually have luck on his side so perhaps this would end up better than it usually did. "I'm sorry though." she added, kissing the top of his head gently.
"You don't need to tell me anything," Logan turned his face slightly to kiss Jamie's shoulder. "Just listening is enough, and not preaching," he added gratefully. Jamie was one of the few girls that didn't seem to think that everyone should be looking for a one true love.
He stayed as he was for a while and then raised his head to smile at her. "I'll sort it out, and bounce back, you know I will and then I'll be back to my usual self."
"Lucky for you, I am about as good at preaching as I am at History of Magic." she laughed gently. Even if she had been one for that, which was ludicrous to even ponder, it was unkind to do so to someone who was looking for comfort and help. Preaching rarely helped get anything done, a warm shoulder was usually much more helpful.
She looked back up at the stars as they sat there. It was a calm night and the weather was pleasant, so she did not mind. There would always be other parties, after all. When he spoke Jamie turned her head and smiled back at him. "Of course you will. Hopefully you'll both be able to bounce back."
"I think we will," Logan hoped so. Delia was a strong person, but there was more than met the eye with her, just as with him, and he suspected she was more vulnerable than she knew.
He met Jamie's eyes and then leaned in to kiss her lips, purely as a thank you and for old time's sake, knowing she wouldn't misunderstand. But his lips barely touched hers when he could hear Delia in his head saying she couldn't stand the idea of anyone else being with him.
With an inarticulate exclamation, Logan jerked his head back and shifted away slightly. "Oh no... no," he murmured, shaking his head.
When Logan leaned in for a kiss, Jamie was not surprised. Their friendship was likely an interesting one to those who knew any great detail about it, but it was one that Jamie treasured in its near simplicity. Him leaning in for a kiss of any type was familiar and simply part of what their relationship usually consisted of.
When he jerked back Jamie's eyes widened in surprise. For a moment she sat there in shock at what had just happened. Drawing herself out of that, she reached out again and wrapped her arms around him loosely, comforting. "What is it?" she asked, clearly concerned.
"I don't... I'm not..." Logan stopped speaking and, closing his eyes, inhaled and exhaled slowly, calming himself down. As his mind stopped whirling, he started to realise what his reaction meant. Part of him wanted to deny the truth and ignore it, but he was sure that would be a mistake. He couldn't keep running away just because the truth was scary.
Opening his eyes, he hugged Jamie back, managing to give her a tight smile to try and reassure her. "I'm all right, but I have to go. There's something I have to do."
Jamie waited as he breathed and tried to calm himself. She held him lightly, her arms looped around him but he could pull away at any moment he liked. While she had no idea what was going on in that mind of his, Logan was her friend and she would be here if he needed her, which at this moment it seemed maybe he did.
Casting a worried look towards him, she reached up and touched his cheek lightly. "You know where to find me if you need me." She said simply before giving him another hug and pulling away.
"I know, love," Logan's smile was less strained this time, but there was still anxiety in his eyes. He was actually quite scared of the possible consequences of what he was about to do, but knew he had to face them.
He gave Jamie a light kiss on the cheek (this didn't cause any guilty feelings at least) and then released her, moving out of her embrace and standing up. "I'll let you know how things go. You enjoy the rest of the party, all right?"
When she saw at least a little of the tension ease away from Logan's face, Jamie felt a bit better. It would not do either of them any good for her to worry too much over any decision he made. Whatever it was that he had decided, Logan was going to do it and Jamie would support him in his choice.
Smiling gently, she got up herself, straightening her shirt a bit. "I'm going to hold you to that." she teased gently but nodded. "Good luck."
"Thanks," Logan gave her shoulder a squeeze as he left, before walking quickly away to a spot where he could apparate safely home.