Remus found he rather liked the feeling of all the blood rushing to his head. Especially as it blocked out all of those other thoughts. And Hairy Pupper napping in the corner almost seemed cute when he watched this way.

With Sirius working tonight, Remus had invited himself over to Peter’s armed with a selection of nosh and the intent to just catch up. And maybe to also avoid the flat and that weirdness that permeated. The original food had been quickly devoured and now they were waiting for the takeaway to arrive with round two. Remus wasn’t much a conversationalist while hungry within the week before the full moon. (He could be down right mean if given the opening.) Hence the very important ritual of sitting upside down on Peter’s sofa.

Then the doorbell rang and Remus nearly blacked out as he jumped up to standing.

“Chinese is here!” He recovered well enough, still feeling a little dizzy, and went to go retrieve the beef lo mein and friends. Now, that he was equipped with the more immediate promise of food, they could resume their civil conversation. Setting down the takeaway bag, Remus caught sight of the little lion in his snowglobe shaking to life again. “You ever think what would happen if we freed him? Maybe he’d like to run around Hogsmeade with MiniPadfoot.”

Peter was used to Remus’ weird antics nearing the full moon. Probably the most relatable bit was his need for a ridiculous amount of food though, so he didn’t really mind having him over even if sometimes he got a bit short. Remus’ anger was nothing like Sirius’ and Peter felt more equipped to handle the werewolf throughout the years. Maybe because Remus was just more tactful. Or maybe because he’d known him first.

He helped Remus spread out he food, glancing at his snowglobe when Remus mentioned it. Even though Remus had basically made an identical suggestion to what Sirius had before, he didn’t feel as defensive this time. “He wouldn’t really make out there on his own. He just keeps fainting for hours at a time. Someone would probably step on him.” Peter took a six pack from the refrigerator and placed it on the table with the food.

“Still.” Remus went right for the beef and broccoli container. “It does seem kind of lonely.” And maybe also too relatable -- keeping everything safely away in a little bubble. “But maybe safer too.” His head was a strange swirling of thoughts, feelings, and that animal instinct that got louder the fuller the moon became. At least all of it seemed content with a mouthful of food.

“But the fact that he’s still going is pretty brilliant.”

Peter piled fried rice and egg rolls into one container to eat from. “It’s safer for him, surely.” It was better not to think about how Peter might relate to his lion’s tiny prison and how he wanted him to stay there. He gave a small shrug. “It’s probably like what James suggested. Sentimentality or relatability or something similar. It’s not like I’m better at magic than you lot. Effectiveness may just be a result of the person and the object itself having a connection of some sort.” He popped open a lager and took a long pull. He didn’t usually speak up much with the Marauders when they worked on projects like this because he knew he wasn’t close to the smartest person in the room. Remus had always made it easier for him to speak though.

Sentimentality. That was certainly a better word than the one Remus was trying not to mull in his head. Love seemed more appropriate. He shook his head, and opened his beer. “Best that we hand that part over to Lily and James then.” And drink. “Oi, I’d say this means you’re probably better at magic than me. Because of the two us, which is a animagus?”

“They’re going to do a test with Harry then?” It would be interesting to see how it all worked out with the parent-child connection, but he didn’t know how well that would apply to the Dark Lord. He certainly had love for no one but himself. But maybe it would say something about the horcruxes he’d made. Maybe he had a connection with whatever objects he might’ve used. “If the roles had been reversed I’m about 100% positive that you’d’ve managed to change far earlier than I did. And I had James and Sirius helping me so it wasn’t like I did it on my own.” There had been something to say about his determination though.

“Yeah, but you still did it, before any of us were even grown.” Remus bumped Peter with his shoulder, settling himself into a comfortable position. “Shouldn’t make light of that, Pete. You’re a force in your own right.” Afterall, they could all burn as brightly as Sirius, or even James. But they both still kept up.

Peter just shrugged and shoveled food in his face as that was easier than addressing this line of conversation. He’d rather talk about Lord Voldemort than this. “So this ‘love’ angle is all well and good, but how is this going to apply to horcruxes? Or more specifically You-Know-Who’s horcruxes? I don’t know much about him but I’m fairly certain he didn’t have love.” With another drink he voiced his earlier thought. “You reckon he used stuff he had some affiliation to?”

That was the other side of it, wasn’t it? “This is just us doing what we do, tinker with things because we can. Then we see what brilliance occurs along the way.” It usually worked out in their favor. Not to mention it helped Remus fill his days between odd jobs. He poked at his takeaway container, trying to pluck out the beef. The vegetables were clearly just a gesture now. “Seeing as he kills people to make them? No. Probably nothing to do with love. At least not in the more common definition.”

Remus motioned with his chopsticks as he worked on chewing and swallowing before continued with his lecture. “But it would make sense that he would want those deaths to have meaning and the objects too.” Connections. Sentimentality and all. But the dark and twisted version. “The issue is we’re talking about a dark wizard who values power, and what he loves is … well, power. And if I loved power above all else, I might start thinking about who are the most powerful witches or wizards in history, modern or otherwise, and see if I can find items belonging to them.”

And wow, Remus was slightly proud of himself at how many times he said love without imbuing other meanings.

Trust Remus to think of these things so easily. It made sense, of course, when said out loud, but Peter never would have thought of it like that. “Dumbledore was - is - one of the most powerful wizards in history, but he hated Dumbledore. So would it just be objects from dark wizards? Like Grindelwald or something?” What would Grindelwald have had that Voldemort would have wanted though? Could that have been one of the reasons the Death Eaters had wanted them to get the records from Borgin and Burkes? It did make sense, even though the Death Eaters had never specified they were actually looking for horcruxes.

“That might be limiting. And we could debate the merits of good and evil, but at the end of the day: Power is power.” Remus used another too large mouthful of food to try to pull together a list. “So if we’re talking powerful and famous? Grindelwald is certainly on the list. Might also want to consider, Merlin, Queen Maeve, Adalbert Waffling, Bridget Wenlock, or even the founders of Hogwarts.”

“Yeah true.” Just looking from a power standpoint, maybe Voldemort had tried to take something of Dumbledore’s too. “That’s a long list, though I guess a place to start. I’m sure we’re not talking used up tea bags from them, but shite that was really important to them or that they invented. Surely that’s got to be listed in some book somewhere.” Peter took another long drink from his lager. This meant more researching, more unanswered questions. The unknowns seemed never-ending.

“I like tea, I can’t say that I love my tea bags.” Remus polished off the rest of his beef and broccoli - only leaving behind a few sad looking greens - and reached for another container. It was always impressive how much he could put away in the days leading up to the moon. “But maybe that’s why the enchantments didn’t work for me. I don’t really have any objects that I love. Maybe my mum’s painting…” But even that he could live without. Instead, Remus collected people. “Do you think a horcrux could be a person? Or an animal?”

“I don’t know that I really love the snowglobe, but my mum gave it to me so…” It could be less about the object itself and more about the fondness that it stirred in the person. “How much do we really know about them? It isn’t like wizards are going around creating them all the time, so there’s no evidence that says that a person or animal couldn’t be. Probably depends on the wizard creating them whether or not they’d try? Maybe the question is more: would You-Know-Who have enough of an attachment to a person or animal to want to make them one?”

Remus chuckled. “We don’t even call him by his real name. So, I would say that we know very little about this self proclaimed ‘Dark Lord’ Voldy-kins.” That also meant more research. But perhaps knowing who the Dark Lord was might help inform what type of things he might put his soul into.

Peter only rolled his eyes at Remus’ pet name for Voldemort. “So basically more research. Who is he? What does he like? Long walks on the beach or maybe dancing salsa on Saturday nights.” He gave a wry chuckle at that and downed the rest of his lager. “Is there anyone besides a bloody Death Eater that would even know anything about him?” Peter didn’t like the idea of trying to get that sort of information out of the Death Eaters. There might not even be any Death Eaters besides the Commanders that knew him that well though. Fuck if they were going to be a source to pull from.

“Tempting as it is to imagine he hatched from an egg. He probably was like any other British child. Maybe even graced the halls of Hogwarts for a time.” It was a strange thought. But surely it had some truth to it, even the Dark Lord must have gone through a sorting ceremony. Unless he was from somewhere else. “But yes, this probably means more research. Unless you know a guy.”

“Now I’m envisioning him with feathers and a beak,” he laughed. “It’s hard to imagine him at Hogwarts. Though I guess it makes sense. Wouldn’t McGonagall know who he was then? Or Dumbledore might’ve, at the very least. Fat lot of good that does us now unless we can find the old coot.” After a pause, a thought occurred to him. “Couldn’t we use Fawkes to find Dumbledore? I mean, if this whole tracking thing works out with Lily and James or the Weasleys… it might follow that a pet could be the same.” Peter glanced over at Hairy Pupper who was still snoring in the corner.

“Now that’s a thought. If this works. We’ll just have to convince a phoenix to find his … owner? Companion?” Remus followed Peter’s gaze toward the sleeping puppy. He still didn’t particularly feel any sort of fondness for the dog, but it existed. Peter liked it. He would at least try to feel … neutral toward him. “Do you think we could use Hairy to find you?”

Hairy was a good dog and he did give Peter some comfort when he felt like his friends had all abandoned him. He wasn’t really sure that he could be considered that much of a companion. They hadn’t really known each other that long, if that was a thing that was important for all of this to work. “I dunno if that would work or not. He’s still pretty young and we don’t exactly know one another like best friends or anything. I would think you’d need a stronger bond.”

Remus felt a low rumble in the back of his throat the longer he looked at the puppy. It was stupid. On some level he knew it was stupid and it was better for everyone to look away from the sleeping dog. “Do you want to bond with the puppy?” He was going for casual, but there was probably a bit more of a bite than he intended.

“Well, he is my dog now,” Peter responded by way of not actually answering. He could see the way Remus looked at the dog and the way he talked about him, but he had no idea why his friend seemed to hate his puppy. “Why do you hate him so much? It’s just a dog.”

“I don’t hate him. I just--” Remus paused, scrubbing his face. “I just feel … threatened by him.” Which even as he said it out loud Remus knew how stupid it was, but that was the trouble with feelings. They were seldom logical.

Peter looked between Remus and Hairy, nearly stunned by that admission. He wasn’t really sure what to do with it, honestly. “Threatened how, exactly?” It was almost laughable to think a werewolf could be threatened by a puppy, but then he wasn’t sure if this was even a werewolf thing and not just a Remus thing.

Remus leaned back on the sofa, staring up the ceiling as he tried to find better words to explain. “I don’t know. It’s just this instinct. That’s telling me this puppy -- Hairy -- is either going to replace me or Padfoot. Or that you’re trying to make your own pack.” And because he wasn’t a complete coward he did glance over at Peter to gauge his reaction.

It was difficult to find words that made sense in response to that. On one hand it was nice to know what had been bothering Remus this whole time, but on the other hand he had no idea how to console that sort of thing since he didn’t have those canine instincts. “Well, rats don’t exactly make packs. But he’s just a dog, not an animagus. He can’t replace a human seeing as that’s all he is.”

“Yeah, well, bugger for you then, because you’re part of my pack.” It was most certainly a werewolf and a Remus thing. “Then you sort of just happened upon this puppy one day and you kept it. And the world is a weird uneasy place these days.” They weren’t in the tower anymore, and the Order was working to put itself out of existence. “So, yes. Apparently my wolf brain thinks you’re trying to replace people regardless of whether it’s true or not.”

“Sorry. I dunno what else you want me to say. He keeps me company while everyone else is doing whatever. It’s not a replacement; he just gives me something to do.” That was about as in depth as he wanted to go into that. The last thing he wanted to talk to Remus about was how he felt replaced by Sirius. It was almost ironic that he was sat here trying to make Remus feel better for something that his friend had already done to him.

“I think this might be one of those times when someone says it’s not you, it’s me. And that’s actually true.” Remus took a drink, finishing his beer. Which meant time for more food. “It’s just weird to think we’re going our own ways, having children. Or pets. Never really thought we’d have to worry about what would happen when the war was done and dusted.”

Peter would laugh about this whole situation if it didn’t make him feel so insecure. Remus thought that Peter was going his own way when he spent basically all his time at home while Remus spent basically all his time with Sirius. He picked up his container of half-eaten food to keep himself busy. “Yeah, I guess it’s pretty weird.”

Remus sort of nosed at Peter’s arm, hoping the other man might get the gesture and place it around him so they could make a better pile and still eat. “I think I’d be happiest if we could just get a house somewhere away from everything, the lot of us. Some stupidly ridiculous bed there.” If they couldn’t go back, that didn’t seem like the worst future. Idyllic and unlikely as it could be.

Peter leaned back on the sofa and sideways against Remus’ shoulder, but he didn’t move much more than that. “I don’t know if that’s ever going to happen.” Most prominent was the whole Lily and James having a kid now situation, but also Sirius and Remus seemed to have their own thing going on and Peter was just Peter. There wasn’t much left of the group they used to have.

One of his many skills was finding or making space when there wasn’t any. Especially if that was space for him. “It could happen. Get the little sprog running about. Although we’d probably have to take the cat too.” And the puppy, but Remus was now actively trying to make some sort of peace with the puppy. (Although it still bothered him.) “But that’s my wild future fantasy, what about you?”

“Wild future fantasy? I never really had one past staying alive through all this shite.” And not losing his friends. But that was inevitable, it seemed. “It’s basically still the same until we can be sure that these horcruxes are all gone and he can’t come back.” He wouldn’t really mind the Death Eaters eating it either, but he didn’t want to be too ambitious with his ‘wild fantasies’.

Remus nudged him in between another mouthful of food. “Yeah? But you’d still come and live in the house?”

Peter rolled his eyes but smiled. “If you think we could manage to make something like that work then I'll be there to see it.”