Heidi Macavoy (heidiflies) wrote in theprofslounge, @ 2009-06-17 00:18:00 |
|
|||
It was interesting, Edward thought, how easily he and Heidi had settled into a routine. After dinner, the children helped clear the table and despite his many offers to help clean up, Heidi always handled the cleaning herself. Eventually, Edward stopped offering. Even though he knew that the offer was appreciated, he knew that she'd rather do it herself, so instead, he would pull up a chair nearby, or sit down at the kitchen table with a book or a newspaper, keeping her company while she worked. That night was more of the same: Heidi was cleaning, he was reading the paper, and the kids were off playing quietly somewhere. It was a nice, comfortable silence. Having her and the kids around made Edward feel, for the first time since Eva's death, like the house was finally a home again. The more time they spent together, the more certain Edward was that he was going to spend the rest of his life with her. After the heated discussion on parenting over the journals, it was even more clear to him that she was everything he'd been looking for -- though he was far from ready to jump into marriage. But they were on the same page, regarding their children, something he'd always known, something he also hadn't appreciated as much before. "Are you two going to stay over tonight?" he asked, lifting his eyes from the paper only just barely. Lydia, of course, would press the issue. He knew she loved having sleepovers, and while he hesitated to have too many, he couldn't really help it. He enjoyed them just as much as she did. When it had just been the two of them, Heidi and Fiona complimented one another so smoothly in their routines that neither had to bother the other to get this done, or take care of that. They functioned autonomously. Heidi would wash the dishes her way, Fiona, on a small step stool, would dry them and stack them on the counter for Heidi to put away. They worked like clockwork, but Heidi had never wanted that for her daughter. She wanted her to be young, have sleepovers with friends, and be normal. Normal, to Heidi, were these evenings spent at the Williamsons. Normal was Fiona wanting to stay up late because she was having too much fun, or toys under Heidi's feet, and though she protested (OCD will do that to a person), she knew it was all part of being a child. Fiona had never quite felt like a child to her, too grown up for her age. Heidi's head turned at the sound of Edward's voice. It was a nice voice, and deserved her full attention -- though not always undivided, sadly. "Oh, I hadn't really thought that far ahead... Fiona will likely want to, of course, and if you'll have us, I wouldn't mind." She paused for a moment, mentally running over a list of things she'd need to retrieve should he decide he did want them there. "Have a few things to pick up from the house, but that shouldn't take too long, I don't think." "Of course we'll have you," Edward replied, setting the paper down and resting his hands on top. Why wouldn't they? He smiled affectionately at her, amused that she would worry about such a thing after all the time they'd spent together. Standing up, he walked over to the refrigerator to take out a beer, and then he walked over to Heidi, dropping a kiss on her cheek as he passed. A thought occurred to him suddenly: why didn't she have everything she needed at his house already? Fiona could always borrow Lydia's pyjamas and vice versa, but it would be so much more convenient if they didn't have to remember to return home briefly -- not that it was difficult to do. Magic made that easy. Still, it would be easier. It'd be easier if they were living together, but Edward didn't know if that idea was such a good one. He would love it, but would Heidi? "You should just keep some things here," he suggested, keeping his tone casual. "Then you wouldn't have to run home for anything. I mean, you're already here so much, and me there." "We-well, I could do that," Heidi started uncertainly. She sort of already had a few things here. She couldn't very well cook without a good spatula or frying pan, and it was just a shame not to just leave one here. Not to mention, the basket beneath the sink filled with all of Heidi's favourite cleaning supplies. But the truth of the matter was that while Heidi knew she was more than welcome there, there was still something awkward and almost-wrong about spending the night in someone else's house to her. It was always Edward's bed, Edward's bathroom, and Edward's stove. There was a certain amount of comfort in knowing that if she broke a glass in her own house, she wouldn't feel the urge to place herself in the stocks and suffer public humiliation for it. Not to mention, she loved her little town. It was one of the only places she felt that people knew who she was and thought, "Bless her heart" instead of "What the bloody hell?" "I mean, a toothbrush and some other things, but I meant more like clothes. Still have to work and all, so..." Edward nodded, struggling to keep his face from betraying any disappointment. "Well, you could..." He frowned a little. There really wasn't a good solution. One of them had to go back and forth. "You'd probably forget something, or I would. And then one of us would have to go back anyway. Never mind, it was just a thought." He shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from the bottle, hoping he looked nonchalant. Like Heidi, he still felt somewhat uncomfortable in her house, despite knowing he and his children were always welcome. It was still her space. He headed back to his seat, to allow her to finish up in the kitchen, but paused in front of it and turned around again. "It's just... doesn't it seem strange to be going back and forth like this?" he asked. "One of us is always away from our house, and... maybe we should talk about how to make it easier? For us and the kids." Edward was starting to worry about the affect it would all have on his children. He and Heidi would have more free time now that school was nearly out, but he hated to move them around a lot whenever he wanted to see Heidi and didn't want to get a babysitter. He'd gotten over feeling like it was inappropriate to have such frequent 'sleepovers', but he was beginning to think that they should consider something more stable for the kids. Heidi's brain processes went something more like this: He just said he wanted us to stay the night, so why does it sound like he doesn't want us here any more? Did I say something from the time he asked until just now that made him change his mind? Oh my God, I scared him! I sent him into a panic! It's one thing for him to tell me one time that he loved me, but me saying it back made it too much! He's going to dump me! OH NO! By the time she'd come 'round to that consensus, her expression turned terrified, her eyes widening behind her glasses. She felt her stomach crash to the floor in one fell swoop, and had she any sense at all, she would have scooped it up and headed home that instant. "But... Fiona likes staying with Lydia -- I m-mean, I don't have to, and I'd be all right with us n-not if that's what -- " Growing increasingly anxious, Heidi was stammering by the end. "Did I say something wrong? I can take it back! I didn't mean it! Well, I did mean it, but... if you didn't want me to, I can not have meant it!" "What?" Confused, Edward frowned a little and tilted his head, not understanding at all where her words were coming from. He hadn't meant to imply that he didn't want her - or Fiona, for that matter - to stay over, or that he didn't like it, or that he wanted it to stop. "Lydia likes it too," he said slowly as he tried to sort it all out in his head. "And so does Andy, even though he might not admit it. And I like it." Okay, so he might not really understand where it was all coming from, but that didn't mean he couldn't try to make her feel better. He set his beer down and approached her cautiously, a concerned expression on his face. "I just meant... all right. I'm tired of always having to go back home to get clothes or... I don't know what else. I don't want you to have to go anywhere. I don't want to have to do that. Does that make any sense? I was just thinking it'd be easier if we were, uh, living together. Us and the kids? It'd be less of a reward, that way, for Lydia... not that that's the only reason, of course. Sorry. Too soon, right? I just don't like bouncing Andy and Lydia around everywhere, but I still want to see you, so there isn't really a good solution, except for that." Heidi did the only thing she could think of in that moment; she reached over and grabbed his beer. Now, on any other normal night, Edward might expect her to ask him if he was done or maybe she'd just pour it down the sink and toss the bottle. Not tonight. Tonight, she didn't say a word, but put the bottle to her lips, tilted her head back, and promptly drank half of Edward's beer in one breath. That done, she slipped it back into his hands, pressing her lips together as she tried to formulate a reply that didn't sound idiotic. "So much for liquid courage," Heidi told him forlornly. "You want to... live together? As in... be a... f-family? All of us? Together?" Edward's eyes went wide, but he didn't try to stop Heidi. He'd never seen her do anything remotely close to that before. It was actually rather sexy. Edward's lips twitched up into a smile, wondering what he'd said to earn that sort of reaction from her. Despite the serious conversation, he chuckled. Drinking out of a bottle he'd just had his mouth on was so unlike Heidi that he didn't know what else to do. "Yeah," he admitted. That was exactly what he'd meant. He didn't know why he hadn't just said that in the first place. It was a hell of a lot clearer the way Heidi put it. "All of five of us. We're nearly there anyway, right? Spending nights at each other's houses and everything. It... would make things easier." And, he thought, I would get to spend every night with you. His cheeks flushed. "What do you think?" Heidi felt like vomiting. He was going to know every dirty (immaculate?) habit of hers if they lived together, the routine she deviated from when she spent nights here (or when they were at her place), just how much time she spent cleaning. Some people did yoga or meditated to clear their minds; Heidi scrubbed toilets and managed to remove otherwise impossible stains to find her zen place. "I don't like bouncing Fiona around either; she already bounced around so much from my house to James' every few weeks, and summer is always harder on her." Neither Heidi nor Fiona knew when James would actually manage his time off work to have his daughter for a week, sometimes two. Plans changed so often that Heidi simply penciled in summer holidays for her daughter. Finally, she said, "It is practical and would save us both money..." "It would save some money," Edward agree, although money was really the least of his concerns. Between all of the money he'd saved up during his time as an Auror, and everything he'd managed since then, he was in good shape, and his children would be too, when they needed it. "We don't have to," he reassured her, sensing that letting someone farther into her space wouldn't be the easiest thing for her to do. "It was just an idea, something to think about. But..." He approached her again and slid his arms around her waist gently. "You wouldn't have to leave. And neither would I. And Fiona would always have company, and... a dog to play with. You'd have dog fur to clean up, but I could help with that, since it's my fault we got such a furry one. Bad idea? Good idea?" "I don't really know. I think maybe I should weigh the pros and cons, maybe think it over before just jumping into it?" There were just a few words she needed to hear from him, and she wouldn't even need to do one of her infamous check-lists. "A-are you sure that you're ready for that? I know I'm a handful to deal with, and I wouldn't want... to lose you... because I'm neurotic and obsessive and..." "Heidi, come on," he said, sounding somewhat amused, "I married Eva after six months. Not that I'm suggesting that, or comparing -- damn. I just mean, I wouldn't bring it up if I wasn't ready. And I know you." He tugged her closer, glad that the kids were all elsewhere, and he couldn't hear their giggles, which meant they weren't listening in, either. "I want that, to... have you there every night, to not have to say good bye, to... I don't know, it's hard to explain. We're already most of the way there already, so why not? We don't have to decide now, I just want us to think about it." Heidi toyed with her fingernails, staring at them for the longest time as if they were the most interesting thing ever. Unfortunately, she was certain that she chipped a sliver of her nail off when she was cleaning the sink. "I-if you're sure... We should probably talk about logistics at some point." Heidi was more than reluctant to give up her house; it had been in the family for ages. And, of course, there was a whole village of people she'd grown to love. But she just knew she couldn't ask Edward to give up his own house. He'd lived here for quite some time, gotten attached and everything just like families do. "I can schedule a little meeting or something so we could sit and talk about it? Maybe at the school library?" So we don't get distracted... "I'm sure," Edward told her with no hesitation. He grinned down at her. That had gone easier than he'd expected, and Edward had to wonder why he even worried about having difficult and serious conversations with her anymore. So far, despite all of his worries, it always turned out fine. "We'll have to ask the kids, too, even though I'm sure mine will be thrilled. But a meeting would be good. There'll be a lot to talk about if we really want to do this. Like... where to live, for example." Edward wouldn't mind giving up his house, but he had a feeling that Lydia and Andrew would miss it a lot, since it had been the only house they'd ever lived in. Hopefully, if they ended up being the ones doing the moving, they would be too excited about living with Heidi and Fiona to mind. "I'm glad you don't think it's a terrible idea," he said softly, leaning in to give her a kiss. It was sort of scary, this whole potentially moving in together thing. Heidi had only lived with James prior, and that wasn't until after they were married. After he'd bought the cow, as he was so fond of saying. Edward bringing it up, the fact that he didn't want to say good-night to her... The holiday. It was moving fast, but it felt right. Heidi was terrified that she could be on the same level as someone else, especially someone like Edward who she considered cool, calm, and collected. "It's getting late," she whispered, and that was about as code for 'let's retire to bed, shall we?' as Heidi ever got. "That it is." Edward pulled back so he could finish off the beer and rinse it out to put in recycling later on. "Want to go get your stuff, and I'll start getting the kids ready for bed?" Then, he thought, they could go to bed, and Edward planned to show her just how much he wanted to go to bed with her every night. |