"At Starlight? They'd hire you in a second, they're always looking for waitresses around here. Ah, I'm here enough to know it if you can't already tell," he patted his stomach and chuckled before taking a bit of the pie brought to them.
"I was the guy in high school that never studied but always made perfect grades, I pissed off all my teachers who thought I'd never get anywhere because of it."
Mal felt his shoulder itch again but he resisted scratching it and set down his fork when she asked her question.
"Well.. there was way more to it than what was happening in that story. There are like a bazillion different accounts of the life of Helen alone. This one dude, Herodotus? He says she was abducted. But these other dudes say she was rightfully Paris' lady after Paris won over Tyndareus. And like she had anywhere between eleven to thirty-one suitors at once too. Really, it was more than just some political struggle for the Greeks, it was politics with the gods too. It all started when Paris was the guy who was supposed to choose who was the hottest babe goddess and he pissed Hera and Athena off when he chose Aphrodite.. but Aphrodite promised him the ultimate hottest babe mortal as a wife, and it happened to be Helen, so she made good on her contract and bitches just weren't down with that. Shit got real and it was god versus god because let's face it... even the gods can be petty assholes sometimes, you know? And like, did Helen ask to be born to Zeus and Leda? Did she ask to be this complete babe? Probably not, so she probably hated all the uproar over her but Paris was pretty fine too, so then she was probably like head over heels for him because otherwise she was forced to be married to this old nasty dude, probably looked all funky and smelled like old ass or something."