Zinnia Hearst | Iounn (applesandyouth) wrote in themoderngods, @ 2012-03-11 19:31:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log, ♥ holt carson, ♥ zinnia hearst, ♦ bragi, ♦ iounn |
Who: Holt and Zinnia (Bragi and Iounn) as well as Holt’s daughter, Quinn
When: Tuesday and then Friday
Where: at the Central Park Zoo
What: Making a new friend.
Quinn LOVED coming to the zoo. They hadn’t lived in New York all that long, but she’d already been to the zoo with her dad EIGHT times. Yes, she was keeping track. She had the lay of the land memorized now.
Holt was just excited that spring seemed to have finally arrived. At sixty degrees, it was damn near balmy. He wasn’t as worried as usual about making sure Quinn was bundled up. She was notorious for dropping her gloves and hat as she scurried about to check out all the animals she loved.
“DADDY, LOOK AT THIS ONE!” she shouted as she rushed over to see a snow leopard.
Holt strolled casually after her. She was always in his eyesight, and he was fast on his feet if necessary. Quinn was six now, so he gave her a bit more freedom than he had in the past. When he reached her, she was quick to jump up. “Here, sweetie.” Holt grabbed hold of her, putting her up on his shoulders so she could get a better view.
“They’re so pretty, daddy. And FLUFFY! I want one!” She was wiggling around from the excitement.
Holt was used to it though, and he managed to keep her on his shoulders securely. “How about a regular house cat instead?” Quinn was old enough now. He felt like she was responsible for her age and could handle a pet. It was something he had talked over with Molly, and they both agreed if Quinn wanted an animal, they’d make it work.
---
If Zinny was an animal she was a sleeping wild cat, basking in the sunshine of an exceptionally bright day and soaking up every last bit of warmth her skin could handle. She was like the snow leopards who lounged lazy on the high tree tops in their cages, sleepy but content despite the shouts of passing people. This was Zinny, crouched low by the exhibit and curling her fingers around the main railing that separated the people from the actual cage and then the leopards. She was sleepy (maybe it was her medicine, new and useless in her opinion) and was moving slower than usual that day but with how she perched she could feel the sun’s rays pouring onto her back and warming her hoodie up until her skin felt it too. There were three leopards, two in the trees and one on ground level lounging so close that Zinny could hear it purr when it rolled it’s back for a moment. It ignored her stare.
If Zinny was an animal she was a wild cat, if Iounn was an animal she was a wolf cub, curious and bright but often quick to tumble into some sort of trouble and not always able to get out of it. Iounn and Zinny were peas in a pod to a degree, both wild girls and times sharing similar needs to run until they were breathless with a racing heart but today Zinny was more like the lazy cat and that overpowered Iounn. It was the illness that did it, made it hard for the goddess to be useful to Zinny’s exhausted body.
I wish I could just...
Don’t. It is what it is. We’ll figure it out.
A shadow fell over her body and she tilted her chin up, dark brown eyes gazing up at the silhouette of a man and his daughter raised high on his shoulders. She stood slowly, hands sliding into the pockets of her hoodie as the girl exclaimed she wanted one.
“The one on the ground there is Zoe,” she began, out of no where. “The two in the trees are Chocolate and Bo. Two females, one male.”
Why she felt the compulsion to talk to the man and his daughter didn’t seem important to discover. She was often compelled to speak to complete strangers like this, after all for Zinny she didn’t have long to worry about stupid things like who she should and shouldn’t speak to.
---
Holt hadn’t really noticed the young woman until she stood and began speaking. He and Quinn were hardly alone in admiring the animals, but most people standing before the exhibit were engaged in private conversations. No one was really talking to anyone outside their respective groups.
“Lucky cat. He gets two girlfriends,” Holt teased with a grin.
Quinn laughed, even though she didn’t completely understand her father’s humor. “Daddy, they’re not his girlfriends. They’re just friends.”
“Okay, baby,” he went along with her while lifting her with an ‘oof’ of sorts as he did and then set her back on the ground. Holt smiled at the young woman. “You seem to know a lot about them. Are you a volunteer here?” She looked like she was maybe in high school, possibly college. It was hard to know for sure.
---
“Exactly,” Zinny agreed, lips working into a slight smile that was flashed to the girl. She tilted her chin up slightly to catch the man’s gaze.
“Just friends. Until they realize they should probably try to work on that whole endangered species thing. C’mere,” she motioned to the girl and Zinny ducked down again though she was slow about it, moved smooth but seemed to be purposefully avoiding quick movement. Zinny pointed between the railings to the sleeping cat that was harder to see with long grass keeping her covered and hidden.
“Listen, very carefully... hear her purring? She’s happy.”
Zinny waited to answer the man’s question until the girl got to hear that content purr of the leopard. Then, finally she answered but her eyes were trained on the cat.
“No. I just read the thing, that.. information thing over there. And I come here a lot so one time one of the keepers pointed out the differences in the cats’ fur patterns so I could tell which is which.”
---
Quinn chewed on her bottom lip a bit and looked up to her dad for his approval. He was talking to the lady, but she didn’t know if that meant she should talk to her as well. With a nod from Holt, signaling it was okay, Quinn walked over to the woman and did as instructed. Her face lit up like the Fourth of July. “I can hear it! Daddy, daddy, can you hear it?” she asked excitedly, bouncing in place a little. Her smile was so big it threatened to break her face.
Holt couldn’t help but stare at his little girl. The cat was cool, but seeing his baby so happy mattered much more to him. “I’m surprised we haven’t bumped into you before. I bring Quinn a lot, nearly every weekend if the weather isn’t too bad.” He smiled at the woman then and introduced himself. “I’m Holt.”
---
“That’s because I don’t come on weekends only.”
She didn’t have school, she hadn’t for a while now since she tested out with her GED. Not that it mattered. The sunshine ebbed away, was hidden behind a passing cloud and she could feel the cool air seeping in through her sleeves. It sent chills dancing up her spine. Or maybe that was something else because even when the sun returned a moment later those chills stayed with her, made her stand and fold her arms as she turned to face him.
“Zinny,” she offered. She thought about holding out her hand but there was something about him that made her hesitate to touch him. It was stupid really but she kept imaging she might reach out and touch him and then he and his little girl would dissolve into nothing. An illusion. A magic trick, now you see me and now you don’t. She couldn’t understand the sensation that flooded her bones just then as the idea that this guy, who was a complete stranger, was just some joke.
It wasn’t that he was so devastatingly handsome that she was finding herself attracted to him. He was handsome but he was older and Zinny had never kidded herself into thinking men thought skinny, hollow cheeked girls like her were worth looking at longer than a passing second. There was just something else that practically radiated off of him like if she touched him and he didn’t up and disappear like a mirage then surely she would touch him and find he was oozing static electricity. She could feel it slowly creeping up her skin even from where she stood.
The whole ordeal of whether or not to offer a hand to shake sent her mind a swimming and even Iounn felt it, but the goddess didn’t know what to say about it other than that it vaguely reminded her of Taliesin but it was too different. It wasn’t even like Shiva but god it was there, wasn’t it? Just under the skin?
“Well nice meeting you,” she managed, and she turned on her heel to head to the next exhibit except as she took her steps away she heard the girl saying something to her father so naturally her gaze fell to her in passing. It happened quickly, as children’s falls usually do, where one minute she was skipping to the end of the exhibit cage and the next she was catching her foot on the ground the wrong way except instead of tumbling to the ground where a scraped knee was bound to happen, Zinny reached out and plucked her up before she fell. Jesus, six year olds were freaking heavy!
“Whoa there, you okay?”
---
Holt looked at her curiously. It seemed as though some internal struggle was taking place. She nearly moved as though to offer her hand, which he would have accepted, but something stopped her. Maybe it was because he was a stranger and older. But he had a cute kid. Was he really so threatening with sweet, adorable, Quinn in tow?
“Nice meeting you as well, Zinny.” Quirky name.
Quinn beamed at the woman and waved happily. “Thanks for telling me about the snow leopards!” she said, making Holt very proud. It was so courteous of her to say thank you.
Of course, she couldn’t be all grown up all the time. As many children do, she moved without much thought and often fell as a result. Luckily, Zinny was a speedy little thing and managed to catch Quinn. She nodded, still surprised. “Yeah.. I’m okay.”
Holt immediately got down on his knees to inspect his daughter. “You sure, sweetie?” He looked up at Zinny then. “Thank you. She’s so high energy.” And still had the awkwardness that came with childhood. They didn’t seem to know how to move sometimes.
---
“I used to be like that,” every now and again she still was. Today the fastest thing she did was snatch that girl up to keep her from falling. Once Quinn was set down she backed up to let him inspect her and Zinny rolled her bony shoulders in a small shrug.
“You must be part cheetah,” she liked the way Quinn looked at her when she said this, like this was actually a real possibility and that her father may have been keeping this from her for quite sometime. Quinn furrowed her tiny eyebrows and looked at Holt expectantly.
“No fur, no spots, all speed,” clarified Zinny. God, it was so easy to talk to this kid. She was practically a kid herself but she loved children. They didn’t care about stupid things like kids her age. They liked the stuff she enjoyed. “Wanna know what animal I am?”
“Cheetah?”
“Nah, I’m a sloth... or maybe a koala, I climb trees in Central Park and sleep with the birds. Hey, maybe I’m part bird too. Except I don’t fly, I just hang around, like.. a monkey. I’m all kinds of things, I’m a mix.”
“ME TOO! I can climb trees!”
“Can you hang upside down by your feet?”
“No.. well I never tried or nothin’...” Quinn eyed her father and so did Zinny. She felt that energy pouring off of him again and it made her feel anxious.
“I could teach you,” she said, but she was locking gazes with Holt. “I’m an expert.”
---
Holt was extremely amused. Leave it to his daughter to think that humans could magically turn into animals and vice versa. No doubt she really believed Zinny was a cheetah. And who was he to say otherwise? He tried to encourage her creativity.
He took in the girls’ conversation as he got to his feet again. It was nice to see them getting on so well. Maybe Zinny would want to babysit sometime. Quinn seemed to like the girl, and given how Zinny had managed to scoop up the little blond so quickly, it was clear she could handle a rambunctious child.
But something was off about Zinny. She looked pale. Unnaturally so. And she was too thin. She didn’t seem healthy. He wondered if maybe she had an eating disorder, and that caused him to examine several things.. her fingers, teeth and hair. The signs weren’t there. Something else was causing her to look so frail. She seemed tired as well, despite her enthusiasm in talking with Quinn.
When her gaze met his, he gave a nod. “Tree climbing sounds good to me. Maybe you could teach me a few things. It’s been awhile.”
---
She knew that look. She had dealt with that look for years now, since she was thirteen years old. It varied in intensity. Some only glanced and seemed to know what was wrong, others spent several long minutes inspecting every part of her only to determine the same thing. He was going for the brief glance, wasn’t he? It wasn’t something she minded talking about but she didn’t want to just say it in front of Quinn.
“Maybe some other time, I’m not feeling that hot today, I’m actually about to head home. But here,” she wasn’t sure if it was Iounn who compelled her to do it or it was herself but regardless Zinny was ripping a tiny bit of paper off the bottom of a Zoo program she had in her pocket. A pen in her other pocket was pulled out as well as her phone and she scribbled her number down on the bit of paper. It was handed over to him.
“You ever want to learn how to climb trees I’m down. I have an open schedule, no job or school.”
---
Not feeling that hot. No job or school. Holt had a bad feeling in his gut. She was ill. Severely so. Working in the ER, he didn’t get to spend a lot of time with his patients beyond the initial crisis. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t recognize signs of disease.
“Thanks,” he said softly as he took the paper, glanced at it, and then back at Zinny. He paused before putting his hand on Quinn’s shoulder. “Sweetie.. why don’t you go check out the next exhibit.. just down there.. but don’t go too far, okay?”
Quinn looked up at her dad, wondering if he really trusted her to do that. But once he gave a reassuring nod, she was off.
With Quinn not there to listen, though firmly in his line of sight, he voiced his suspicion. “You’re sick, aren’t you?” he asked, and before she could even confirm, he added, “I’m a doctor.”
---
Zinny didn’t looked very impressed by his quick diagnosis. She really wanted to challenge him to tell her with what, for how long and in your professional opinion, you think I’m gonna make it Doc? She didn’t say that though and instead shrugged once more like it was confirming she had brown hair. Yup. She sure did, and yup she sure was.
“CLL,” she explained. Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia. Incurable, five years and then she was gone unless it began progressing faster. “It wasn’t chronic when I was thirteen. They thought I was getting better and then when I was sixteen that all changed. But it’s cool, some days whomp and some days don’t.”
Zinny didn’t appear shy or upset talking about it. She did seem to fidget around him though, just slightly. She pawed at the ground with the toe of a shoe and kept recrossing her arms as if she couldn’t keep the warmth held in her bones very long.
“Doesn’t keep me out of the trees, not on my good days,” and when she smiled it was like fucking sunshine. Not just a lopsided grin or a shy little curl of the lips but a full, wide smile that warmed her cheeks to an apple red.
---
Holt was a good physician, but he wasn’t a genius. He needed more than a quick glance at Zinny to know what was wrong with her. Good thing she told him, though it wasn’t good news. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely and sadly, his eyes softening to express the truth in his words. To be so young and get a diagnosis like that, it was heartbreaking.
She was coping well though, either that, or she was a very good actress, which some terminal cancer patients did develop. They got tired of people feeling sorry for them, so they found ways to make everyone around them think all was well. “Well, Quinn likes you. So.. we’d love to join you for some tree climbing. Our schedule isn’t quite as flexible as yours. I work in the ER, and Quinn spends half her time with her mother. We’re divorced.” Usually the sort of thing that evoked sympathy from others, but his failed marriage was nothing compared to her failing health.
---
“Animal people are often attracted to other beastly things,” she quipped, that genuine smile twitching into a bemused smirk. She scratched at the back of her head and nodded slowly.
“Yeah just call me, text me, I mean I could even just watch her if you have things you gotta go do. My dad had to do that all the time when I was kid, I was watched by at least six different old ladies that lived in the same building as us.”
There was a small pause there where she kept her eyes trained on his and her smile faded until she seemed to be watching him, waiting for something. Then a second later she finally put her hand out.
“It was nice meeting you,” god, why was her heart racing? Maybe she was just having an off day.
---
“I’d hardly call you beastly,” he said with a chuckle. Zinny had managed to diffuse the situation nicely with a joke.
“I will. I think Quinn would like that.” She seemed aware of her condition enough that she’d never agree to look after Quinn if her strength was lacking. On her good days, she would probably make an excellent babysitter. Might even be good for her. Quinn had made Zinny laugh and smile. The little blond twerp had an infectious personality. Everyone loved her. Except those freak people who hate kids, but they didn’t count.
Holt took her offered hand. When he did, he felt something deep inside him that he couldn’t define. It gave him pause. He stared at her, wondering what it was that made him not want to let go of her. He probably looked like a loon as he stood there, dumbly, continuing to hold her hand. It was inappropriate. Logic caught up with him, and he promptly released his grip and thrust his hand into his pocket. “It was nice meeting you too, Zinny.” He felt really strange. “Uh.. here..” he shook his head and pulled out a receipt. “Pen?” he asked, and when she handed over the one she’d used, he scribbled his number on it. “It’s my cell.”
---
“Cool,” and that was that because there was no way she was going to ask about that sensation that overtook her entire body when he touched her, made her feel light as a damned feather. It worried Iounn but Zinny drowned out the voice best she could and the ache in her bones did the rest. She passed by Quinn when she headed out, paused and said she’d maybe see her later to teach her how to hang like a monkey from a tree.
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
That was Tuesday and Wednesday was hell. She had vivid dreams even when she tried to nap and they were all the same, they were always the same! A tree with nine branches (Yggdrasil says Iounn) and she sits high on the branch of Midgard, all those people below her still begging her to come down and then she’s looking to her right where the branch of Asgard stretches on forever and there he is, sitting there with his harp in hand, strings being plucked sweetly. She calls for him (Bragi! Bragi!) but he doesn’t hear her, he simply plays his music and sings his songs but he never turns to look at her. Before he had begged her to come find him and now?
Now he doesn’t even acknowledge her to exist.
She woke up with a cold sweat and she felt so sick to her stomach she couldn’t keep anything down that her father tried to feed her. Thursday was better and by Friday it was Iounn who was begging to be used. She was contacted by Neptune, contacted by Shiva, and it was enough to draw some of the goddess out. It wasn’t long before she was contacted by that man, the doctor from the zoo and it was Iounn who encouraged her to follow through with the meeting, though neither knew why they felt that anxiety of a racing heart when they thought of the man. Iounn was curious, wanted to find out and Zinny was eager for some fresh air.
That afternoon she met him near the Zoo, a backpack slung over her shoulder and dark brown hair catching the sunlight to burn almost deep red. She had it drawn up in a ponytail and that pallid flesh of hers seemed rosier somehow, clearly she was feeling better than even the day she had met up with him even if she still looked too thin.
---
Holt’s week hadn’t been filled with pain (at least not his own), but he too dreamed. He couldn’t remember any of them, not the details, but the feeling he had when he woke up was vivid enough. His chest ached as though something was missing. Several times he’d gotten up to check on Quinn if she was staying with him that night. Other times he reviewed his schedule on his phone, wondering if maybe he was forgetting something. The nagging sensation wouldn’t go away. So when he couldn’t figure out the source, he did his best to ignore it.
When the weekend was near, Quinn reminded him of the promise Zinny made. Holt contacted her and arranged for the trio to meet up near the zoo again for some tree climbing. Upon arriving, he was pleasantly surprised to see that Zinny looked healthier than she had the first time they met. “Good to see you,” he said with a warm smile. The sensation in his chest was gone. Strange, but Holt dismissed it as a coincidence. She couldn’t be the thing that was missing. He barely knew her.
Quinn was wearing sweats and sneakers. She was TOTALLY pumped (her words) to climb trees with Zinny. “Daddy braided my hair!” she informed her new friend. “So it won’t get in my face when we climb, and I can hang upside down!”
---
“Aw man, I was gonna wear my hair in braids, we could have been twins,” she snapped her fingers, aw shucks! Zinny crouched down and shifted the backpack a little as she did so. She looked at Quinn very seriously but any grown up could feel the hint of teasing in her tone.
“We’re about to embark on a mad adventure. The trees in Central Park are magical, did you know that? Every tree has the ability to change you into one of the animals that live in them. So we gotta learn how to hang like monkeys and perch like birds and climb like squirrels so the trees like us and let us stick around for as long as we want,” it may have been stupid to some children but Zinny had a feeling that Quinn wasn’t the type of kid who was “too grown up” for things like pretending.
“C’mon,” she tried not to give Holt too many glances but she was highly aware of him. She felt funny when he was around, like he was watching her every movement or as if he’d snatch Quinn up and leave if she did or said something wrong. She knew she was being ridiculous but even Iounn felt that tension. Zinny took Quinn’s hand and led her down the mall outside the Zoo and off to the green where spring was trying to push up through the dirt and claim the park for it’s self again.
All the while she explained proper protocol for being one with the trees, how to make bird calls and whistles and how to talk squirrel and monkey until they got to a good, sturdy oak that would be perfect for climbing and boy how they took to the tree. Holt was given the backpack to watch over while they did this and it wasn’t long before Quinn became a champion of hanging upside down and crowing like a loud bird at the same time.
But they weren’t meant to stay in the tree forever and eventually they ended up on the ground where Zinny promptly took her bag back and began to unzip it.
“I brought provisions,” she explained, and sure enough she had thought to bring a folded up blanket to sit on and some PB and J sandwiches in baggies to eat. She set the blanket on the ground and settled on top of it, backpack set between her thighs. The sandwiches were set to one side and then she pulled out an apple, bright green like the color of peridot. She held it out to him.
“Apple a day keeps the doctor away,” she smirked.
---
Twins might not be too far off. Zinny was young. Closer in age to Quinn than she was to Holt, or so he assumed. He didn’t know her exact age, but she couldn’t have been older than nineteen. She acted perfectly childish though, and not in a bad way. Holt was impressed watching her play with Quinn. They got along amazingly well. Zinny seemed to understand Quinn in a way most adults did not.
Quinn was in make believe heaven! She did everything Zinny said, and she was having the best time of her life. Holt couldn’t count the number of times she called out, “Daddy, look at me!” He was looking. And he was careful to stay close at all times in case she fell out of the tree. Zinny was doing a good job of looking out for his daughter, but Holt didn’t see any harm in an extra layer of protection.
He helped Quinn to the ground when the ‘animals’ decided it was time to return to their human forms. “You were awesome he told her,” while offering a high five.
Quinn’s cheeks were flushed and she couldn’t stop smiling. “I was! And I was up REALLY high, daddy! I bet you can’t climb that high.”
“I bet you’re right. You are way better at climbing trees than I ever was when I was your age.”
He settled down on the blanket across from Zinny, but Quinn apparently wasn’t hungry. She was running circles around the pair of adults and then decided to do some cartwheels. Holt was watching her until he heard Zinny. “Huh?” he asked as he turned around. The sight of her holding the apple caused a weird flash in his head. “Woah... deja vu. Weird.” He looked at the apple for a moment before taking it. “I hope you’re not trying to get rid of me.”
---
For her the sensation of having done this before was constant now. Every memory Zinny ever had that involved apples somehow reminded Iounn more and more of her position among the gods. It filled her dreams, even, and before she had been so confused but now it was understood why she held fast to golden apples when she was up in the tree of nine branches. However, when Holt took the apple and claimed to have deja vu she wanted to snatch the apple back, wanted to question him until it became clear just what it reminded him of.
She didn’t though and instead took to unpacking more. Two more apples were set aside, three bottles of water and she didn’t touch any of them least of all the other apples. Zinny set the backpack aside and drew her knees up to her chest so she could hold them tight to herself, chin atop her kneecaps as she watched him.
Before she had avoided this blatant staring she had wanted desperately to do but now she found it hard to look away. She drank him in, every last bit of him. Every line on his face, the light stubble that peppered his jaw, the dark mop of hair atop his head and maybe it was unsettling for a girl her age to be looking at him like that but Zinny seemed to lack a bone in her body that cared just then.
“No. Not yet, anyway,” she said finally. Zinny reached up to tug her ponytail free, her long strands of hair falling like a wave crashing over her shoulders. “If you could live at any age forever, what age would you pick?”
---
She was staring at him. Holt didn’t know what to make of it. In all honesty, he had trouble keeping his eyes off her as well, especially today when she looked healthier. She was a beautiful young woman. Too young. It made him feel like a pervert each time his eyes lingered longer than they should have.
“Any age?” He considered her question carefully. “Probably this age. Thirty-four. I have a good life. Job, daughter, everything. It’s all great.” Sure, being divorced wasn’t great, but they’d been apart nearly a year now, and Holt felt ready to move on and start dating again. He’d been out with a few women in recent months, but he couldn’t see himself introducing any of them to Quinn, so he figured they weren’t right for him either.
Quinn already knew Zinny. The thought passed through his mind without warning, and he tried to brush it away. It was not a good thing to think about.
---
“I don’t know if I mind missing out on thirty-four,” she said it without warning, the words simply rolling off her lips casually like it wasn’t any big deal to say such a thing. Once it was said though it was as if she could see it hanging in the air heavy between them and she wanted desperately to take it back. Never had she wanted so badly to do that when before she never cared. It was unsettling.
“I think I’d want to be this age. Or maybe eighteen, it’s just a month away. I wouldn’t mind being eighteen forever,” and if Iounn had her way she would be. It was just a matter of gaining that sort of power over her domain again. With this thought on her mind she picked up on of the apples and lowered her legs until she was sitting cross legged. Zinny began to play with the apple between her hand.
“Why did you become a doctor?”
---
Holt frowned upon hearing her grave prediction. It had been easy to forget she had a terminal disease as he watched her play with his daughter. Zinny seemed full of life today, but now she was talking casually about her death. He looked down at the apple in his hand, a weird feeling striking him as he looked at it and thought of Zinny dying. She didn’t have to. Did she?
But he was soon distracted by the revelation that Zinny wasn’t even eighteen yet. Some of the color drained from Holt’s face. Now he felt like an even BIGGER pervert. Zinny wasn’t legal! He was going to hell. Or prison. Maybe both. Okay, so he wasn’t, because he hadn’t done anything wrong. He hadn’t even lingered on all too many thoughts of a scandalous nature. “Eighteen would be better,” he said in a strained voice before clearing his throat. Shit.
“The truth? I was good at science and I liked playing doctor with girls.” He shrugged. What? It was like rock stars saying they were all about the music. It was bullshit. Every last one of them initially picked up a guitar in the hopes of getting laid. Holt wasn’t going to pretend his motives were entirely pure.
---
Such honesty had her trying to suppress a laugh and she looked down almost bashfully, smile blossoming wide. She liked that kind of blunt talk as she tended to do so much of herself. Zinny nodded her head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ears. She glanced over to Quinn a moment, who was busy trying to figure out how to do a back bend and kept falling on her butt.
“What else are you good at?”
Why the twenty questions? Iounn was insanely curious. This man was a puzzle and the longer they spent in his presence the longer the goddess felt there was someone there waiting to be awakened. She couldn’t be sure who but perhaps it was a god or goddess hidden deep and with enough questions she was sure she could figure out at least what sway they held.
The apple in her hand had slowly gone from bright green to a brighter yellow, not quite gold but it had a hint of the green left in it’s skin when she finally took a bite of it. Juice from the apple rolled down her chin from the corner of her mouth and she drew her hand across it, licked her tongue over the corner of her lips.
---
Quinn was never far from Holt’s field of vision. He was good at talking to others and looking at them without ever really taking his eyes off of his daughter. Holt called it ‘dad vision.’ He was fairly sure moms possessed it too. So he smiled as Quinn attempted, failed, and kept trying to do a back bend. Maybe he needed to sign her up for gymnastics.
“Well, that’s subjective, isn’t it? I suppose I’m decent with a guitar, and I sing.” He was better than decent, but for some reason felt reluctant to say so. It went against his gut though. Inside, he felt as though he should have been more proud to admit that he was quite talented in music.
Holt should have noticed the apple’s color shifting, but he couldn’t, because the bit of juice that seeped from the fruit, only to drip slowly down her chin, had captured his full attention. When Zinny’s tongue reached out to capture it, Holt shifted uncomfortably. Hell. Prison. Both.
---
“I guess I should ask what else do you think you’re good at and then.. what do people tell you you’re good at,” she corrected the question after he answered and took another bite, thoughtful expression settling over her face as she ate. Even though the illness was not suddenly and miraculously taken away there was some change happening as she ate. It was small enough that most people probably wouldn’t notice unless they were really watching.
The dull brown of her hair that only lit up sometimes in the light suddenly seemed to take on a deeper set on tones. Even when the sunlight didn’t dance across her hair it seemed radiant, like she was a hair model for a new shampoo or something. The pale flesh of hers remained pristine and white but the dark circles under her eyes faded somewhat and rather than look translucent her skin seemed more like porcelain, or cream with a light hint of dusty rose settling over her cheeks.
And then there were her eyes, mud brown normally but lighting up like they were molten amber, but only for a moment did they seem so bright and then they were slightly dull again, just far more pronounced than before as if she were maybe wearing mascara now. Zinny did feel more energetic but that was all she felt and nothing more.
“Do you write your own music?”
---
He chuckled with a little nod. “People tell me I’m good at telling stories. I still read to Quinn a lot, but she prefers when I make up bedtime stories. I do the voices and everything.” Even Holt had to admit he was a good storyteller. He enjoyed it.
The changes were subtle, and Holt chalked them up to the sun. The right lighting could make anyone look better. Zinny did. And noticing it was bad. Holt really needed to stop. He felt like a criminal. Fuck, his daughter was only a few yards away!
“Yeah. Some. But I don’t really.. uh.. share it.” He wanted to. He had this urge to perform, but it wasn’t a practical thing to do. He had to stay focused on reality. Holt was a doctor. It was a damn good profession that carried respect and money with it. Aspiring to be a rock star was just plain stupid. “Quinn hears my songs. I write some silly ones for her too.” And he also wrote serious ones.
---
“You should,” again there were words she kept speaking that she didn’t mean to but around him it felt impossible to keep her mouth shut. If she was doing something to make him uncomfortable she couldn’t sense it, either. All that she could sense was the mystery of who he was happened be unraveling before her and she was close to finding him, she was positive.
Music, there were many gods that were patrons of the arts and of music. Was he a muse? What power did he hold over song that intrigued h-
Zinny dropped the apple. It was halfway finished and the moment it hit the blanket it turned green again, and brown along the edges as if it had gone bad. She ignored it.
“You should,” she said again bottom lip worked under her teeth. She seemed very determined. “I’d like to hear it sometime.”
It couldn’t be. She didn’t dare entertain the thought for long but Iounn certainly did.
What if it is?!
He isn’t. We’d know.
---
Holt looked confused. Had he said something wrong? Zinny was distracted, and then she dropped her apple. The girl very much resembled a deer in headlights. Her brown eyes were impossibly large. “Are you okay?” he asked, reaching out for her hand. “Maybe this was all too much.” He didn’t know if she was undergoing any treatment to extend her life. It was foolish of him to have not checked before agreeing to this outing.
His concern for her was overwhelming. Why did he care so much for a stranger? Yes, she was young and sweet (and attractive), but she wasn’t close to him. Why did it feel as though she was?
---
She didn’t know how to answer, god she didn’t even know if she could breathe just then. It was silly to say that time stood still but it felt like it. Even the trees and the birds were still and hushed. The breezes of cool air had ceased and it was really just a second, just a couple of heart beats, but it felt like forever had passed.
But what if?
She would know, wouldn’t she? She would feel herself drawn to him inexplicably. She would do anything to be near to him, she would do it all just to feel his touch one more time and then he had his hand on her hand and Zinny wanted nothing more than to draw him near and examine his handsome face closer. Was it him, her Bragi?
Her stomach churned and ached. A cold chill swept over her body and she drew her hand back like his was too hot, like he was a flame and he had just burned her.
“Sorry... I’m just.. sorry,” Zinny didn’t know how to handle this and Iounn was clawing at her trying to get out. It made her feel sick and dizzy but she started packing things up. She threw the water in, then the sandwich but left the apples and left the blanket when she stood, backpack heaved over her shoulder.
“It’s really late, I need to get home.”
“Aww you’re leaving!” the voice caught her off guard and she turned to see Quinn pouting at her. Zinny swallowed hard and managed a weak smile as she neared the girl.
“I have to. I’ll see you again sometime little bird,” and Quinn pressed herself against Zinny’s leg in a brief embrace before Zinny broke free and hurried away without another word. Iounn was wailing inside of her but she made sure she was far enough away before she ducked off a path in the park and lost her lunch entirely.
---
Holt didn’t understand. What had he done wrong? He couldn’t even get a word in to stop her from throwing all the picnic stuff into her bag. She was quick, and he was confused. Holt barely managed to ask her, “Sorry about what?” before they were both briefly interrupted by Quinn. The little girl looked nearly as confused as Holt.
He got to his feet and picked up Quinn once he did, because she was sad to see their new friend leaving in such a hurry. “Why’d she go, daddy?”
Holt shook his head. “I have no idea, baby.” He kissed the side of her head though. “Come on.. more trees to climb.” He set her down then and looked down at the apples abandoned by Zinny. That tugging at his core returned. Something was missing again. And now Holt worried that that something was Zinny.