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owl_goddess (owl_goddess) wrote in themoderngods, @ 2012-05-20 11:10:00

I feel sometimes like I might not be allowed to talk to this group now that I'm not part of it any more. I want to apologize again for Minerva, her loss was very hard for me too even though we didn't get along. The more I think about it now, the harder it is sometimes, partially because I'm realizing what about me was actually me and what was her.

My art is me, thankfully, everything I've tried has worked, and I would have to be better before I can pull out my bow and try shooting again, but part of me thinks that was her. I feel more jumbled now than I used to, it takes me more time to organize my thoughts, which is frustrating. Maybe other things about me are different, I don't know yet, or I don't notice. I'm sure there's more, or I wouldn't feel so empty.

I know I can definitely tell when Neptune is in charge rather than my brother, but I wonder a lot what about the two of them is because of the other. Does it go both ways? Can the vessel influence the god as much as the other way around?

Do any of you ever think about this?