Yeah well, wish in one hand. But he didn't say that. Wouldn't say that to her, especially not in a moment like this. She was right, that he didn't know how to be happy. Conten, sure, in snatches of time, Emily's graduation, that first time Anye and he had gone to the Central Park Zoo and a bird tried to nest in her hair. Watching her and Liv struggle through baking him a birthday cake for his 18th birthday when they didn't realize he had come home early.
But happy?
It was dramatic, to think he didn't deserve that. But the thought was loud in his head anyway. The man with his father's ugliness inside him, who enjoyed his job a bit too much sometimes, who took unethical jobs without losing enough sleep. It didn't change the more solid one that she deserved to be happy, with or without him, whatever he had to do. It was easier to focus on what she should have and her well-being than her wanting him to be happy. One was attainable, one was worth fighting for, and the other was not. "That's not what I'm here for Anye." He had always been uncomfortable with his sister's or Anye's gratitude for feeding them or helping, and that was what he always did, just shrug it off and say that's what I'm here for.
"I'm fulfilled when I'm being useful, that's gonna have to be enough for people." The arm around her kept her close, taking more comfort from it than he'd like to admit, rubbing circles on her shoulder with his thumb and breathing in the scent of her hair while some of his constant tension drained out of him in a rush.