Hearing Steve explain and ask, if she’d known she had a home, with the Avengers. Natasha sighed, “I umm.” Since returning, she seemed quite tired. Even though it hadn’t been for very long. It wasn’t a physical thing, but rather a weariness within her gaze, and body language. Everything had been so very hard, the small talk.. the watching everyone with their significate other. It made her thinking of many things. Many heartaches over the years. And it all started with being told her husband had died. That was probably the moment she’d started to die inside. Having learned he hadn’t been, was ice cold in her veins and she shut herself off a little more each year since then. It wasn’t a surprise that she hadn’t a loved one in quite some time; she was a black hole, and nobody would ever want that.
“Yea.. “ She had continued to speak, “I know.” She’d done the best to not let her words echo with the .. emptiness.. felt in her heart. But, it was hard with a shiny example of humanity.. as Steve was. She’d buried her feelings. Breaking Clint’s heart, losing Bucky over, and over again as the puppet he was. Alexi, his death had broken that piece of her and finding out he wasn’t, grew this hatred inside of her. Murdock.. Matt. Natalia couldn’t even put words to losing him. And other men over the years that she fell for, but the woman had stood in her own way of falling deeper.. Or even telling any of them, including Steve. She’d always thought it was better. But now, she wasn’t sure it’d been.
Nat listened to him continue to speak of those that loved her, their family of misfits .. that had a love for the entire world. I mean, you don’t play in a game where your life could easily be sacrificed, if you didn’t have a great love for people. Or even just the love, and kinship of each other. The woman attempted to not let Steve see the broken resolve in her eyes, at not really feeling a part of everyone. Though it was clearly written in her eyes, and on her face. And then as she always would, without another word, she turned to the mission at hand. Calculating the flight time, and figuring out the locations that would be most likely to turn out as the Winter Soldier’s hideout.